A/N: See I told you I could do it if I tried! Kind of…

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice etc…

Chapter 22 The Strongest Feeling

It was a warm feeling…

Like lying under the sunlight on a spring morning that was the only way she could describe it. She could smell the scent of flowers everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The faint sound of a familiar voice behind her made her open her eyes. Although she could not make out his face, she still recognized the man behind her. Slowly rising from the ground she turned to him and watched him smile at her.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you…" he said kindly.

She could do nothing but stare dumbfounded at him. "Yu- Yukihira Izumi?" She asked uncertainly, her voice not higher than a whisper.

"Oh? That's a bit cold don't you think? And here I thought I'd finally get to hear you call me dad…" he replied looking at her with fond eyes.

He walked up to her and patted her on the head "Look at you all lovely and grown up" he had muttered and that was all it took. When he wrapped his arms around her and smoothed her hair gently, she knew this was nothing but a dream, but she did not care. As she cried on his shoulder she could feel his heartbeat, even though she knew it was not real.

It was a warm feeling and she could smell flowers everywhere and nowhere at the same time. A father's hug, she realized, could not be compared to anything she had felt before, and she wondered what a mother's hug would feel like.

Mikan - A voice echoed throughout the meadow of her dreams.

"Seems like our time is up kiddo…" her father said trying to untangle himself from her grasp, but she would not let go.

"NO!" she yelled "Just for a little while longer… Don't take it away"

Her father smiled down at her as everything around them started shaking and came crushing into the ground.

"You have to learn to let go and move on…" he chuckled softly and finally released her, keeping her at arms distance.

"Will I see you again?"

Mikan? - The voice called again, louder.

"And what about mom will I see her?" she asked desperately with the last seconds she had left.

"I don't see why not..." He replied smiling fondly at her "Goodbye my little Mikan…" he whispered before turning around and walking away, becoming nothing but a fleeting memory once again.

"DAD DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE!" she screamed at his retreating back, extending her arms to reach him, feeling his warmth close, but not close enough.

"Not alone…" rather than hearing his voice she could feel it all around her, echoing in the darkness.

"Mikan!?"

She woke up to Natsume shaking her frantically by her shoulders and calling her name.

"What's going on?" she asks a little disoriented after waking up "Did something happen?"

"That's what I'd like to ask!" he says releasing her from his grip and sitting on the bed next to her. "You were crying and yelling in your sleep…"

"I- I was?" she reaches a hand to her face and is surprise to find tears still flowing from her eyes. "I didn't realize…"

"Were you having a nightmare perhaps?" he asks concerned.

"I don't know…" she admits wiping the tears away "I was in a meadow of sorts and…" her voice trails off as if she were trying to remember something from the distant past. "A man… there was a man- It was…"

"Your father?" he provides "You were screaming 'dad' before you woke up…"

"Not alone…" she mutters under her breath.

Natsume stares at her quizzically not understanding the meaning of her words.

"I think my mom's alive." She finally explains. "I think that's what he was trying to tell me! Not alone means I still have her!" she says excitedly smiling for the first time in a long time.

"Mikan I don't think-." He suddenly kept silent for a reason Mikan could not understand.

"You will have to carry your father's sins as your own for as long as you live. That's the true curse of those crimson eyes, didn't you know?" Masao had looked at him expecting a reaction that never came

Natsume simply stared, he did not believe in curses, he never had. He had been told legends of how the Hyuuga had come to have red eyes but he never thought much of them.

"Not to mention you look exactly like Satoshi, anyone who knows your father automatically associates you with him." Masao waved a hand in front of his face as if to make a point out of his words "Like father like son they say…"

"I AM NOTHING LIKE MY FATHER!" he said slamming his fists on the desk in front of him.

"Are you sure about that?" he replied calmly unmoved by the young boy's outburst "Can you truly look back and say that everything you have done isn't exactly what your father would have?"

"It's not the same thing! I would never even consider hurting anyone-!"

"Is that what you truly believe? That you are free of guilt because you wouldn't consider hurting?" Masao snorted at his own question "You are worse than your father then… At least he knows those whom he hurts to achieve his goals. You on the other hand simply don't consider them."

"I have never and would never hurt another person!" Natsume retorted angrily.

"Is that so? What about your family? What about Koizumi Luna? Do you think you have not hurt her? She loves you and you have treated her like a nuisance, an enemy if you wish."

"She doesn't love me! She's just running around trying to ruin my-."

"Happiness?" Masao finished for him after a moment of silence "You are like your father in that at least, selfish and Machiavellian."

"I'm not-."

"Can you truly deny it with while keeping a straight face, kid?" Masao cut him off abruptly "Have you not deceived, hurt and used others in order to achieve your goals?"

Natsume looked down as the man's word sank in. Deceived his own father; hurt his fiancée; used those he had grown accustomed to call friends.

"You are too blinded by your self-righteousness to realize that all of your actions have consequences." Masao tapped his index finger on the desk to a random beat "Your reason is wrong and thus you keep hurting others without even considering it. And because of that ultimately you will hurt that which you treasure most."

"Why are you telling me this? Wouldn't it be better for you guys if I did end up hurting Mikan?"

"Well, history goes in cycles… so if we let this continue on as it is it would ultimately mean yours and her death." Masao looked at him thoughtfully "I don't know about you but I'd rather stop this before it comes to that."

"Why aren't you doing anything then? There are a million things you can do without involving me or Mikan any further!"

"Ha, always the selfish one I see. Are you appealing to my guilty side now?" Masao stared at Natsume with a somber expression "If push comes to shove I will protect her from the background. If there's anyone you should be begging help from that should be Satoshi, not me. To me you are just the kid who is jeopardizing everything I've worked for the past ten years. Why should I want to help you?"

"If you confessed… if you told the truth we could stop my father! We could all be free from-."

"You mean you could be free. If I came clean, in the best case scenario Satoshi would kill me; in the worst case I'd get life imprisonment. So much for freedom…"

"But you could stop her from being in danger and-."

"Stop pretending you're doing it for her. If you want to save your own hide do it for yourself. Stop trying to take advantage of other people's pity; be a man, not a kid. Maybe then you'll be able to protect her."

"I'm not a child! If I have to I'll show that journal to the world and-!"

"Go ahead then!" Masao challenged standing up abruptly "Tell them, tell her. See if she'll ever look at you with the same eyes!"

"She would!" Natsume shouted mimicking his movements "She knows I'm not my father! She understands we are completely different! Whatever he's done has nothing to do with me and she knows that!"

"Who are you trying to convince, me or you?"

"Are you okay?" Mikan asks waving a hand in front of Natsume's face "You suddenly froze…"

"Huh?" he gasps blinking in surprise "Did I?"

"What were you going to say? You don't think what?"

"Um, I…" he rubs his hands together in thought "I- I forgot." He finally answers stupidly.

"You forgot?" she asks suspiciously.

"Yeah, wasn't that important probably…" he looks at her with an unreadable expression "Can I ask you a question?"

"You kind of already did, but go ahead." She replies slightly concerned.

"Would you-? Do you think-? If someone- ugh…" he groans in exasperation not being able to find the right words.

"What's gotten into you? Since when did you turn into a backboneless, speech impaired mess of nerves?"

"Harsh… deserved, but harsh." Natsume sighed, she had to know the truth, he knew. Masao was right, all this time he was just being selfish. He wouldn't go as far to say he was like his father, but maybe a little…

"Look" he starts "what I want to know is…"

'No… it doesn't matter, this is not about me it's about her.' He thinks shaking his head.

"Yes?" she pries impassively.

"What I want you to know is… the truth." He takes a deep breath and continues "It's the least I can do for you…"

Masao stares at the glowing monitor with the ghost of a smile on his face. History goes in cycles because people keep making the same mistakes; but every once in a while there comes along someone who makes the choice not to. Every once in a while the cycle can be broken by someone with a strong will and a good reason.

"All it takes is a little push in the right direction…" he says to no one before switching the monitor off and walking out of the surveillance room.

Natsume hands her the black notebook without looking at her face "I think you should read this before you decide anything."

Natsume slowly stands up and walks to the door. "If you need anything I'll be right outside, I'm not leaving you alone."

Mikan stares wide eyed at the closed door and then at the notebook on her lap. "You're kidding right?" she mumbles while slowly opening the journal, flipping through the pages and stopping at the last one, the different color of ink catching her attention.

"I'm sorry" it began, and with that she burst into tears.

A couple of hours later Natsume was sitting on the couch in front of the switched off TV, dreading the time she came out of her room. At least this was for the best, he thought, she would know the truth and be able to decide for herself what was right or wrong.

If Masao was right, if she could only see his father in him after this, the silver lining was that they would break up and Satoshi would at least leave her alone. Maybe she'd find happiness with Kaname after that… She still had her friends and everything would just go back to how it used to be before they met. It wasn't such a big deal; it wasn't like he was losing anything he had before.

It was at this moment that he finally understood Masao's feelings, the dread of not knowing whether or not she will ever look at you the same way. But Natsume was different; he wasn't going to live with the doubt.

The clicking of the door made him jump nonetheless and as Mikan walked slowly towards him, her eyes hidden behind a curtain of hair and her cheeks red and wet from tears, he felt his heart about to burst through his chest.

He couldn't find his voice; there were no words he could say right now that seemed appropriate. Nothing he could say would be enough, and anything he said might be too much so he settled for keeping his mouth shut and his eyes away from hers.

When Natsume was finally at arms range Mikan looked up at him and instantly threw herself into his arms surprising him and making them both collapse onto the floor. He noticed she was shaking and sobbing lowly.

"She's dead." She whispered between sobs.

Natsume did not reply, he patted her head in what he hoped was a comforting manner holding her tight with his other arm.

"He killed them" her voice trembled with rage "AND NOW HE DARES TO TELL ME SHE IS ALIVE!" her shout was accompanied by weak fists punching Natsume's chest in desperation.

Natsume knew right at that instant that the moment she looked at him she would only see her parents' murderer, just like Masao had said. Her hatred for Satoshi was the strongest feeling after all. In her mind even though Masao had been the one to pull the trigger his father was the one to pull Masao, he was the real murderer.

Still he needed to hear it from her; he needed to know if this was the end…

"Mikan?" he ventured sitting up slowly careful not to disturb her "I want you to do something for me"

She sobbed and nodded into his chest in response.

"Look at me" he said "I want you to look at me in the eyes"

Satoshi paced around the room. He was almost one hundred percent sure the girl had told Natsume about his offer. He was expecting him to burst through the door in any minute kicking and screaming demanding an explanation. Then he would just convince him it was for the best of everyone's interests and talk him into getting rid of her. After that all he needed to do was find a Yuuka lookalike, pay her to pretend to be her mother for a while and fake her death in some accident or so.

Everyone won.

The sooner Natsume showed up the sooner he could get this whole bothersome thing over with…

Now, where the hell was Natsume with his teenage-angst-tantrums when he needed him the most?

"I'm sorry" was Mikan's answer "I- I can't."

Natsume's heart fell. She couldn't even bear to look at him anymore.

Gritting his teeth to suppress his urge to scream he stood up leaving her lying on the ground. Without turning to look at her he stomped to the front door and walked out.

A/N: It's shorter because I decided that that was a good cliffhanger, and because I realized shorter chapters mean faster updates, and because I'm mean.

See you on the next one.

(If any of you like 07-Ghost I started a new fic on that fandom… It's AyaTei because I like weird relationships like that. Anyways if you have time check it out or check out 07-Ghost the anime or manga that's also really good. )

To be continued…