Castle came back down after tucking Nevaeh in and leaned against the doorframe, as he watched Kate laying on the bed, from what he could tell, staring at the ceiling.
She had gone straight to the bedroom, citing a need for a bath, the moment they had gotten home. He knew she was avoiding him, and their inevitable conversations from earlier, but he decided to let her avoid for now.
"You okay?" He asked softly, trying not to make her jump, her startle reflex still turned up as high as it would go. She nodded before tipping her head so she could see him. "You sure? You need anything? Want anything?"
Kate shook her head before letting it fall back onto the bed.
Castle sighed as he crossed the room and sat beside her hip. He gently stroked his hand up and down her thigh from the hem of her sleep shorts to the top of her cast just below her knee.
Once he had managed to drag his eyes from the garish attachment, he noticed her chin trembling. He lay down beside her, wrapping his arm around her stomach. "Kate? Baby? Talk to me, what's up?"
She hesitated for a moment, tenderising her lower lip with her teeth before she turned her head to face him, that horrific look of shame in her eyes again. "I'm cold." She mumbled, not looking him in the eye.
Rick gently stroked her cheek. "Well, you're not wearing many clothes." He smiled.
"I was hot after my bath, but now I'm cold." She explained in a whisper.
"Why didn't you get dressed?" Rick asked confused at the illogical sequence of events that led to his girlfriend being cold, yet not doing anything about it.
Kate shook her head, drawing her lip back under her teeth as she rolled her filling eyes heavenward. "It hurts, Rick. It's too much effort and it hurts and those things make my chest hurt." Kate mumbled tearfully, shooting her crutches a scowl as they leaned against her bedside table. "I just couldn't move anymore. I couldn't do it."
Rick got up silently and went to the dresser, pulling out a pair of loose sweats, so as to fit over her cast, and a long sleeve t-shirt, before returning to the bed. "Come on." He murmured, gently pulling her up to a sitting position by her hands like one would to a small child.
"What are you doing?" Kate asked quietly, not resisting as he took hold of her vest's hem and dragged it over her head.
She suddenly felt shy.
He'd undressed her hundreds of times, but only a few weren't a lead up to anything other than sleep, and those she had been far too tired to notice or care.
"You're cold, Kate." He told her simply, gently easing her arms into the long sleeves before pulling the t-shirt over her head and down her body until it was on fully.
He then gave her shoulders a gently push until she lay back down. "You're in pain, which we will do something about in a minute, and, you're laid here in a vest and shorts." He grabbed hold of the waistband of her shorts and, once she had lifted her hips slightly, drew them down her long legs, careful to not let them catch on her cast. He tossed them aside before feeding her legs into the sweats and pulling them up.
"Thank you." She murmured softly, embarrassed that she'd made him dress her like a child.
"Always, Kate." He told her gently, absolving her embarrassment without drawing attention to it.
He picked up her clothes and tossed them in the hamper as he left, returning quickly with her painkillers and a glass of water. "Here." He slipped his arm around her shoulders and helped her sit up while she took the pills and finished the water. "Better?"
Kate nodded. "I'm sorry." She mumbled, dropping eye contact in favour of staring at her hands.
"What ever for?" Castle asked, incredulous.
Kate shrugged. "For being stubborn. For refusing to ask for help." She chuckled thickly. "For being me I guess."
Rick gathered her up and pulled her onto his lap, holding her tight to his chest. "No, no, no, Kate. I won't have you talking like this."
Kate sighed tearfully, burying her face into his pectoral. "I nearly killed Nevaeh."
Castle shook his head quickly. "No, Kate. You saved her."
Kate shook her head as the first tear fell. "If I had been a quarter inch off, Rick, she was unconscious in his arms and, and..." She trailed off as she wrapped her arms and legs around his neck and waist, clinging to him like a baby monkey, apparently unhindered by the plaster around her leg.
Castle trailed his hand up and down her back while the other held onto the back of her head. "She's safe, Kate. You both are. She's sleeping soundly upstairs and you're here, in my arms, in our bed, in our home. Everyone is safe Kate. Everyone is safe."
Kate sobbed once and clung to him tighter.
Castle squeezed her tight before subconsciously rocking them both side to side. "It's alright Kate. Everything's alright." He soothed. "Why don't we lie down, huh? We can lie down, and I'll hold you until you fall asleep." He felt Kate nod against him. "Okay. Come on."
He slowly shuffled down the bed, holding her close, before lying on his side, wrapping Kate up in his arms while she snuggled as close as she could into his chest. "That's it Kate, I've got you." He stroked gentle, comforting lines up and down her back, whispering soothing words in her ear. He felt her breath hitch, his only indication she was still awake until she spoke again.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled. Rick sighed but she shook her head. "No, I'm, I'm sorry that I checked out on you. I'm sorry I worried you so much that you had to worry Alexis. I just, I couldn't handle it Castle. My little sister. My little, baby sister, who I had known not even a week when she went missing, was in hospital and I had nearly killed her, and gotten myself killed, and you'd nearly lost us both and I just, I didn't know what to say to you. I didn't know how to apologise, for being so reckless; when you had begged me to let everyone else do their jobs. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything." Kate rambled, tears breaching the barrier of her eyes by the end. Rick held her tighter and kissed the top of her head.
"I was scared." He admitted, knowing lying to her now, when she was being so honest, would do far more harm than good. "I was terrified Kate, I won't lie. But you don't have to apologise for it. Jeeze Kate, I was so thankful that I would be putting you both to bed, and not in the ground, that you could have done your worst that night. You didn't know what to do or say, but you still let me hold you. You still let me touch you, and take care of you, and Kate, that means the world to me. You mean the world to me. Don't apologise, Baby. I don't blame you."
Kate sighed against him and pressed a kiss to his chest before setting in the pillow and drifting to sleep, apparently lighter and less burdened after getting that off her chest and the absolution from him.
Castle kissed her forehead and tucked her body into his, trying to find sleep himself.
He hoped she would forgive herself soon. Nevaeh needed them both if she was to grow up as put together as she should.
He'd speak to Jim, talk about the girl's future, his plans for his place in it, and then he'd take all three of his girls away for a while. They needed to learn how to be a family.