AN: Y'all should listen to NSP's new album, Cool Patrol.

Keith dragged an unwilling Pidge out of bed at ass-o-clock in the morning for another one of his piss off Lance schemes. Normally Pidge was all for it, but goddamn Keith it was way too fucking early for this shit. And why was she the one who had to do this couldn't he have gotten literally anyone else to do this?

"So I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to help me with this. And what we're doing for that matter." Keith said.

"Yeah, why did you wake me up and insist I bring pizzas and a megaphone with me. I didn't even know Domino's delivered this far out in space. Or off the planet earth for that matter." Pidge replied.

"I need them, Pidge. So I can finally profess my love for Lance." Keith replied.

"...who let you smoke marijuana?" Pidge deadpanned.

"No one. How dare you tell me my love is fake!" Keith gasped, bringing his hand up to his chest dramatically.

Pidge made a mental note to break Keith's fucking legs after this was finished.

The two paladins stood in front of Lance's room, where the Blue Paladin was peacefully sleeping, unaware of the shit he was about to face. Keith stopped Pidge for opening the door, crouching down to her level.

"Pidge. It's time. The megaphone and one of the pizzas." Keith demanded.

Piddge shoved the pizza box into Keith's hands, propping the megaphone on top of the pizza box. Taking the megaphone in one hand, he turned it on. Keith nodded at Pidge to open the door.

"It's such a delicate moment, I need to play this right. Thanks for all the help Pidge." Keith whispered.

Pidge flipped Keith off, close to falling asleep where she stood. Why did Keith need a megaphone?

Wait no.

Keith held the megaphone up to his mouth and screamed into it, "HEY DO YOU LIKE PIZZA?!"

Lance shrieked in terror falling off his bed. He had no time to get back up having to react to an entire pizza being thrown in his face. The once peaceful night had been turned into utter chaos. Lance was covered in cheese, pepperoni and smushed pizza slices.

Lance picked one of the pieces off of his face, glaring at Keith and Pidge. The fact she looked like she was about to fall over told Lance she didn't actually want to be part of this so he gave Pidge a pass.

Keith, seeing Lance's glare turned to Pidge holding a hand out to her. "More pizza, Pidge! I don't think the last one worked. Coat me in pizza and throw me over to Lance so our love can finally be sliced and dished up like one of these delicious pizzas!" he declared.

Pidge dropped all of the pizzas onto the ground, flipping Keith off before returning to her room. There was no way she was going to cover Keith in pizza and throw him at Lance.

Fuck Keith.

AN: he spreads like the plague. Now Keith is screwing with the other paladins.