Hello everybody!

I know it has been a while but I'm back!

We had left Sherlock and Molly on their wedding day. For this chapter I decided to try something a little different because it covers a long period of time. I hope you like it and please review ^^. Lots of love!

^/^

July 5th

Dear diary,

Ok so I bough a diary (obviously!). I was shopping at this really cute bookshop in the village, I saw it and I decided it would be good idea. I never had one as a child, so it's time to catch up. Of course I had the blog… but I can't use it anymore. I know nobody will be reading this but me, which in fact is better since I can talk about everything!

So it's been two month since Sherlock and I got married. I still can't believe it sometimes and I have to look at the beautiful ring on my finger to remember that it's true. The ceremony was so perfect that it was a bit hard coming back to reality afterwards!

We haven't been on a honeymoon of course, but we finished settling into our new house. The weather was beautiful lately so I have been able to do a bit of gardening. Toby loooooves the garden, it's going to be hard for him when we go back to London. Even if we don't know when it will happen…

Mycroft is still investigating on Moriarty's network but it's very complicated… I know it's tough for Sherlock because he can barely get out of the house. We can't take the risk of someone recognizing him. So the big challenge is to keep him busy! We now have whole room dedicated to his experiments. I know that in Baker Street he used to keep weird things in the fridge but I made it clear it won't be happening at our house! So Mycroft transferred his old science equipments and also bought some new ones. He is currently making some research about coal-tar derivatives and plans to write a monograph about it. I hope it will last for a while… I'm sure he misses his work so much.

I do miss mine too… I know I can't find a pathologist position here, but maybe there is something else I could do? Because I need to have an occupation and I also want to make some money. Even if my relation with Mycroft is doing better, I still feel uncomfortable that he is paying for everything. I know that we can't be financially independent for the moment (because Sherlock has no access to his bank accounts) but if I could contribute a little bit it would make me feel better. I really have to think about it…

OK I have to leave for now because I don't want Sherlock to see me writing (he's in the shower right now. So I have to find a good hiding place for you dear diary! bye bye

XoXo

July 7th

Hello again!

Today I'm writing upstairs. I go there sometimes to go through all the antiques and old stuff that were left here. There are some really beautiful things, especially some paintings that are signed by "Horace Vernet". I asked Sherlock if it was someone from his family and he said he was an ancestor of his grandmother. He is a famous French painter, so they must be worth a lot of money!

There is also a portrait of his grandmother Madeleine when she was younger. She was really a beautiful woman… I brought it back downstairs to hang it on a wall. I know Sherlock loved her a lot and she used to talk to him only in French. I had no idea he could speak it so well! So now I ask him to talk to me in French sometimes… I think it's really sexy ^^

What else? I'm starting to know a few people in the village. Mostly old women who enjoy gossiping. Everybody seems to know each other here, so of course there are curious to see new faces. They had heard that a new couple had moved in that house which had been empty for a long time, so they wanted to know more about us. I had to make up something… I said that my husband had a car accident so we left London because we wanted to be in a quiet place. I think they believed me, after all it's not so far from the truth…

I think I will hide the diary here because I'm sure Sherlock will never find it (I feel quite horrible writing that... but I mean he's Sherlock Holmes so he would find it anywhere else.)

XoXo

July 29th

Today Sherlock had a check up with a doctor coming from the military hospital. The results are good, the doctor said that he's doing well for someone who suffered this type of injury. But he still needs to see a kinesitherapist once a week for his back and to take some medication.

It has been more than one year since… Bart's. So many things have happened since that it almost seems like another life. I think that he has accepted the situation and he's so strong. But sometimes I see something in his eyes that makes me sad…

We had some news from John via Mycroft. He's still seeing his therapist but hopefully he's doing better (and dating many girls, as usual!). I don't know what will surprise him the most when we see him again: that Sherlock is alive or that we got married ?

XoXo

August 9th

I went back to the bookshop today to get some chemistry book I had ordered for Sherlock and… there was a sign in the window saying that they are hiring a part time shop assistant. There used to be a girl working there with the owner, and apparently she's gone. I wonder if I should apply ?

It's really a cute shop and a part time job would be perfect. The owner seems really nice but I didn't dare to ask him… I need to talk to Sherlock about it before first. He knows that I want to work but I'm not sure he's very enthusiastic about it. I'm afraid that he feels lonely if I'm gone half of the day. But at the same I think it's not good for us to be together 100% of the time.

We have some little fights sometimes. Mostly because he's so messy ! I told him I was fed up to spend my time picking up his clothes in the bedroom and everything else… And of course he started sulking. Sometimes I feel like I take care of a 5 year old !

XoXo

August 11th

I got the job !

I was super nervous but I finally went back to the bookshop today. The sign on the window was still there. I talked to the owner. His name is Jeremy and he's really adorable (he's also very handsome but I think he's gay so Sherlock won't get jealous!).

He was a bit surprised when I told him I was a doctor but I explained my situation… We got along really well and he said I could start next week! I will work from Tuesday to Saturday, in the afternoon only. And I will have my Sundays and Mondays off. I know Sherlock isn't thrilled, but he agreed. I'm sure he will get used to it…

XoXo

August 14th

Back from my first day at work! It went really well. I took care of new books that had arrived, did a bit of accounting and welcomed the clients when Jeremy was busy. He is so nice and explained me everything. I think I'm going to love it.

Sherlock… texted me about 15 times in the afternoon. Asking me where I had put the wash up liquid and other random requests. Of course he wouldn't know where the wash up liquid is, he never does the dishes! At some point I had to turn down my phone because it was a bit embarrassing. He was not happy that I didn't answer him… but I know he was already like that with John in the past.

Anyway, as long as he doesn't burn down the house… Which could happen by the way because he know uses a blowtorch for his experiments! Oh dear!

XoXo

August 30th

Sorry diary I didn't have much time to write lately… I'm a busy girl now!

Work is doing great and Jeremy is the sassy gay friend I always dreamed to have. It's great to have someone to confide in even if of course I can't tell him the true story. But he always gives me good advice.

OK that was short but I got to go! I hear Sherlock yelling downstairs and Toby meowing… not good!

XoXo

September 3rd

Happy Birthday to me! I'm turning 33 today… getting old !

XoXo

September 4th

What a great birthday!

Jeremy did a mini party for me at the shop, with some cupcakes. He offered me a pink water pen and a cat bow tie for Toby lol ! (I managed to take a picture of him wearing it before he tore it apart…).

And when I came back home… Sherlock had cooked dinner! Yes he COOKED. He said it was easy because cooking is just chemistry and the meal was delicious (if there anything this man is not good at?). After dessert he gave me my present … a beautiful flower pendant necklace. I LOVE IT !

XoXo

September 15th

Jeremy had a great idea. Once a month we are going to go in the village's school and read stories to the children. It's a great way to get them interested into books and I can't wait!

That was the good news… bad news is that we had a call from Mycroft who told us that Sherlock's mother is in the hospital. She fell at her house and broke a hip. I hope she will get better soon. Sherlock doesn't talk about her often but I know that he still cares. A bit like me and my mum. We don't get along but she is my mother… I called her a few months ago, I told her I was living with a man. She seemed surprised, she always though I would stay an old maid.

XoXo

September 29th

We did our first visit to the school today, it went great ! This first time what about fairy tales, so I went dressed as a princess and Jeremy as a wolf (!). The children were between 6 to 10 years old, they paid attention and were so cute ! I read "Blondine, Bonne-Biche, and Beau Minon" by the Contesse de Segur which was my favourite when I was little because it has a talking cat.

Speaking of cats… we may have a kitten situation. I never had Toby neutered because we were living in a flat… but now he spends a lot of time outside and he made a lady cat friend. I saw her in the back of our garden and she I think she is pregnant! I know that was really stupid of me… But I love kittens (who doesn't?) so I'm also excited. I hope we find them good houses and maybe we can keep one?

XoXo

October 8th

No big news. Except I went to the hairdresser today to cut my hair a little bit. It's not short, it's just a bit shorter and with better style. It was Jeremy's idea he said I would look "less like a little girl" and more like "confident woman". I like it, Sherlock doesn't of course. It's true he always loved my long hair but he's just being stubborn. I think I look prettier…

His hair is completely back to normal now, dark black curls… so cute.

XoXo

October 21st

The kittens are born! There are four of them and they are the cutest thing in the word. I took them into the house with their mummy because it's not safe for them to stay outside. Sherlock complained… but he agreed to give a look at them while I'm at work. I know how he works now… he rants and then he agrees.

Jeremy will take one of them, and we will put an ad in the bookshop to see in some of our customers are interested in adopting the other ones. (I still plan to keep one of those little fur balls).

XoXo

November 16th

Toulouse and Bella will be adopted by two lovely old ladies. Jeremy will take Oscar, the black one. And little Luna will stay with us. But we have to keep all of them until there are at least 10 weeks old. Toby is a bit of distant daddy but at least he doesn't hurt the kittens (I know that can happen sometimes). I have taken an appointment to take him to the vet because this can't happen another time!

I'm a bit worried for Sherlock lately. He is often in a dark mood and it has been a while since we didn't have sex… I think I have to keep more time for him but with 6 cats at home things are a bit crazy right now. Too much to do!

XoXo

December 1st

It's the beginning of December which means… Christmas time is coming! It's great to have such a big house, I have plenty of decoration ideas.

Jeremy is attending a book fair in London which means I have to take care of the shop by myself for two days and work full time. That's not helping with having a better atmosphere at home…

The kittens are growing fast, soon they will be exploring on their own. I could watch them for hours :-)

XoXo

December 10th

I'm upstairs. I have been crying for almost an hour.

Oh my god I can't believe this happened….

Sherlock and I had a fight. Not a small fight, a massive one. It started with a silly thing. Oscar went into the experiment room and spilled one of his test tubes. He made a whole fuss about it, and I said he should have been more careful and lock the door because the kitten could have been poisoned by the chemicals. He said he never wanted them at home, that they are bothering him while he's working. (I know it's not true, because I saw him playing with them one time, he's just being a dick…). Then I don't know how but the whole thing escalated. He said this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't working, that I took this job to get away from him, because he's disabled and I'm losing my time with him… which is complete nonsense. He was going on and on, so I said stupid things myself like "you're right I don't know what I'm doing with you". I can't believe I said that… but I was really angry. Then I started crying and ran upstairs.

I didn't realise he was suffering so much, I think he is depressed… But I don't like that he's acting more and more possessive with me. It brings back painful memories even if I know that Sherlock would never ever hit me.

And there is something else… going to the school, seeing those children. It makes me both happy and sad at the same times. Because the truth is I want be a mother and… we cannot have children. I know it since the consultation with the sexologist in Meiringen. At first I thought that I was fine with it but I was lying to myself and it hurts more and more. Maybe we could adopt one day. But it's impossible as long as Sherlock is "dead" and I have no idea of how long it will take…

I never talked to him about that… actually I don't even know if he wants children! Maybe we should have had that conversation before getting married… Maybe Mycroft was right and sentiment is not enough… I love him so much but for the first time I wonder if we didn't make a mistake. I feel horrible and I don't know what to do…

I will go back downstairs now even If I feel super awkward. Wish me luck.