Nightfall

FIVE

FRIDAY – 2:02 PM

Consciousness came back to her slowly. Her eyelids fluttered open lethargically, as if she were waking up after a late afternoon nap, to a scattering of light filtering through the cracks of rubble and debris that had once been the storefront of the Crate & Barrel. Gently, Beckett shifted, bending her elbows as she pushed up off the floor. She sat up and groaned, rubbing a hand over her forehead, hissing when she discovered a vicious cut. Thankfully the bleeding had stopped. Still, she should definitely get it checked out as soon as possible. Other than the cut, and a handful of bumps and bruises, she seemed all right.

Blinking, Beckett glanced around the ruined store. Now that she had assessed herself, her thoughts immediately went to her partner. Castle had been running ahead of her, weaving through the displays and shelves, when the creature had slammed into the store, causing the collapse of the front façade of the building. Squinting in the dim light, she searched for his familiar broad form.

"Castle?" she called out to him, her voice a little hoarse and raspy, yet still firm and strong.

A low grunt answered her. Her gaze flirted towards the source, releasing a sigh of relief as she saw the familiar shape of her partner silhouetted by the dim light that filtered through the rumble. Gritting her teeth, Beckett cautiously rose up to her feet and carefully made her way over towards Castle.

A display of scented candles had been knocked over, and he was buried in a small pile of thick aroma. He coughed, and sneezed, as he came to. Shaking his head, he knocked the cylindrical objects off, cursing mildly at the horrific artificial smells that had invaded his olfactory senses. A smiled touched her lips as he sat up with a huff, and a little shudder ran over his shoulders.

"You okay?" she asked when she neared him.

"Ugh," he grunted out as he ran a hand over the top of his head. "I think so. Just a little banged up. You?"

"The same," she replied, offering a hand.

Castle pursed his lips and accepted her help, grunting and groaning as he got up to his feet. He stretched his back and grimaced. Concerned, Beckett placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," he assured her. "Just a bit sore."

She nodded, and decided not to push.

"How long where we out?" he questioned.

Beckett glanced at her wristwatch, feeling her heart ease at the reminder her father was safely out of town visiting her Aunt Theresa. "Just after two," she answered. "So," she shrugged, "about twenty minutes. I think we'll be fine."

"Yeah," Castle agreed. "We've had worse."

"Yeah," she echoed, trying to add a light chuckle to it, but failing miserably. Placing her hands on her hips, Beckett glanced towards the ruined storefront. "I think it's gone. Whatever it was."

Castle cocked his head to the right and gave her a sideways look. "Whatever it was. Really, Beckett? You're going to deny the evidence, even when it was right in your face? Stomping and roaring? That—" he pointed emphatically towards the outside, "—was a monster, Kate."

Beckett let out a sigh, carding her fingers through her hair, wincing as she felt the cut. Castle's eyes flashed with concern, finally making the time to take in her disheveled appearance.

"You're bleeding!" he hooted in alarm, stepping closer, invading her personal space in the process.

He reached up, cupping her jaw in his palm as he gently tilted her head to the side so he could get a better look at the nasty cut on her brow. His fingers tenderly brushed aside some of her long hair as he examined her injury. His touch dusted along her temple then down the side of her face in a caring manner that had her heart clenching and stomach fluttering with butterflies.

"Castle," she said in a hot breath, unable to stifle the sudden and unexpected aroused quality out of her voice. He was too close, too tender, in his ministrations. She couldn't help herself.

He flinched slightly, seemingly unaware of his close proximity until she spoke his name, but the moment his eyes glazed over, she knew he felt it too. In the current situation, it was undeniable, the spark between them. It had been there for years, ever since their first meeting. Though she'd denied it then, suppressed the rising feelings and what they meant, she found that desire—the magnetic pull of attraction—was now just too difficult to fight against. She'd spent so long resisting, hiding away in nowhere relationships with men she didn't love, that to see it standing right in front of her, even under such crazy circumstances, made all her walls and defenses crumble.

His tongue flicked out to wet his lips. Her breath hitched and her eyes, practically on their own accord, dropped momentarily to take in the almost sensual motion of his tongue, before flicking back up to meet his darkening gaze.

They stared at one another for a long interval, where everything else just seemed to melt away. It was just them, no ruined store, no monster attack, no city. Just them. Two beating hearts… wanting.

Before she knew it, Castle was closing the distance, dipping his head down and capturing her wanting mouth in a bruising, demanding kiss. Her arms instantly wrapped around him, drawing herself closer to his broad frame, meeting him all the way, lips parting to let tongues dart in and play. His large hands sprawled down her back, gripping her slender hips, coaxing a whimpering moan of wanton lust and desire from her throat. She sucked on his bottom lip and nibbled up, seizing control, and deepening the kiss. Her fingers dragged through his hair, tugged and pulling, encouraging. One of his clever hands slipped further down to cup and squeeze her ass.

And suddenly reality came crashing back down around her.

Beckett hastily shoved him back, jerking away, gasping for air. Her hand came up to cover her mouth, in shock and awe, still tasting him on her lips. With wide eyes, she stared at him, and from the uncertainty and worry she saw reflected in his face, she immediately knew he was just as surprised as she was over their unexpected actions.

Heaving in deep breaths as she put some more distance between them, Beckett tried to rationalize the behavior, suggesting it only happened because of the recent near-death experience, and the joy of having miraculously survived it, not to mention the horrifying reality that New York City was being invaded by some gigantic monster, which—despite seeing it with her own eyes—Beckett was still struggling with believing. It was all just so surreal. All of it. But, all of those were just excuses.

And she knew it.

Kate Beckett had feelings—deep, genuine feelings—for Richard Castle. She had, for a long while, longer than she'd even care to admit. Yet, right now, it felt wrong, so wrong, but so right at the same time. It was baffling, and wondrous at the same time. Her heart pulsed wildly beneath her chest as she tried to regain some semblance of control.

"Kate?" Castle hedged softly, glancing at her with an apology on the tip of his tongue.

Beckett shook her head, waving it off. "Josh," was all she said.

Castle pursed his lips and swallowed hard, looking torn. She knew how he felt.

"Yeah," he answered after a long beat, his voice sounding so forlorn and alone, sad, yet understanding, which, really, just made it a little more heartbreaking. "I know."

And then it was as if the dam had broken, and the words just came flowing out before she could stop them. "He was on Liberty Island when it was attacked," she said, though he'd already known that. "He… he's dead. And I know how I should feel about that, what I should feel." She stammered, pursing her lips and frowning, angry at herself. "But I don't. He was my boyfriend. And I'm sad he died, really… I am, but not how I should be sad."

Beckett shook her head before continuing, "Jesus, Rick, this morning, you know what I was doing before all this started? I was thinking of breaking up with him. Telling myself to stop stalling, and just do it. But then he died, and with everything that's happened, I really haven't had time to… process it, and I guess… grieve? I don't know. But I just don't feel like I should be feeling."

She paused for a breath, feeling her eyes prickle with unshed tears, not for Josh, but for her own uncertainty and frustration, which somehow just made it all worse.

Looking up at Castle, she sought reassurance and meaning. "Does that make me a bad person?"

A long silence hung between them for a handful of seconds that, to Beckett, felt like nearly an eternity, before he answered her.

"No, Kate," he shook his head, gazing at her with a sympathetic expression. "It makes you human."

She let out a disgruntled breath, and hung her head, ashamed. "Well, it sucks," she declared.

"I know it does," Castle said. "I'm twice divorced. That kind of failure messes with you, makes you hesitant, doubtful."

"I'm sorry," she said, forcing herself to meet his eyes, she hadn't thought of that. "I shouldn't be laying all of this on you, especially now. I just…"

"It's okay, Kate," Castle asserted, trying to soothe her, but failing. "It's okay."

"But it's not," she insisted, firm in that. "He was my boyfriend, and he dies… and I feel nothing!? Nothing that I'm supposed to feel when someone I'm supposed to care about dies." Kissing Castle had been wonderful, amazing really, but she didn't enjoy the feeling of shame and guilt that swamped over her when she thought of the reason she could now kiss him, free of other obligations. She sighed, and shook her head, growling in frustration, at herself and the situation as a whole, not just between them now, but at the surreal crisis gripping the city. Now was not the time for this.

Castle held up his hands, approaching her as he would a spooked animal. She pursed her lips and grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest in a protective manner. She narrowed her eyes, and he halted.

"Our emotions are running high," he offered. "This is a stressful and tense situation. It's understandable."

No, Beckett thought, disliking the very idea. The noble bastard. He was giving her an out, and in spite of the guilt gnawing at her gut, she refused to take it. It would take time, Beckett knew that, but eventually she'd reconcile Josh's sudden and tragic death with her reaction. It wouldn't be easy, yet when were things ever easy for her? For them? Never, that's what. If things had been different, she didn't know if she'd have found the courage to break things off with Josh, to admit how she felt about Castle. This crisis, and the events surrounding it, had forced her hand. She closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. Josh would understand. He was—had been—a good guy, a decent man. And she had enjoyed her time with him. She had. But he just hadn't been the right man for her, and somehow, even at the end, she thought he knew that. They both had.

Clenching her jaw, Beckett opened her eyes and met Castle's gaze, firm and unyielding. "It's not that, and we both know it," she declared, rather bold for her normal closed demeanor when it came to her personal feelings.

Castle let out a deep sigh. "I'm that obvious, am I?"

She let out an unexpected bark of laughter, and then bit her lower lip as she glanced at him from under her eyelashes. "There was nothing fake about that undercover kiss," she admitted out loud, and it felt freeing, even if her cheeks did warm on a mild blush at the admission she'd held close to the vest even since that case.

He stared at her, openly, not bothering to hide his shock at her statement.

"But…," she then started, feeling the need to clarify her position.

"And why did I know there'd be a but," he huffed out, grinning, lightening the mood as he always did with his trademark charm.

"But," she continued, more adamant this time, giving him a small taste of her infamous glare, "now is not that time for this conversation."

"Sadly, I must concur," Castle said with a reluctant nod. "Consider these matters tabled for future discussion. Agreed?"

Beckett met his eyes, trying to say more than she could in words, wanting him to know that even if this hadn't been particularly ideal, given the circumstances and the deaths happening all around, she hoped that they had a future… a future together. "Agreed."

With that decided, Castle bobbed his head, and stretched his legs, moving in a slow circle as he glanced around at their surroundings. "All right," he stopped by a toppled display case, and clapped his hands together. "First step then, we need to find a way out of this building."