On the Edge of Wakefulness, Part 2
Chapter 31
I can see you, Téa, from my place of perfection. I see you laugh, see that smile. God ... I love you. I love everything about you. I think somewhere, somehow, you still have love for me, yeah? Though you try to run from it, try to look the other way. But I feel your hands on me, I still hear the sound of you when I touched you ... I still feel you.
I will always feel you.
Beautiful we are ... darkly beautiful, darkly forever.
Téa giggled as she popped another handful of popcorn into the air, less than a third of the bunch landing in her mouth. Jedediah doubled over next to her on the couch in near-painful laughter, saying in between breaths, "No ... you're so ... bad at that! Don't even bother ... you're hopeless!"
"Oh excuse me!" Téa answered, laughing, too.
She and Jedediah had had a contest to see who could catch more popcorn in their mouths after tossing bunches of it into the air. Téa had too many fluffy kernels around her, Jedediah clearly occupying the victor's position. The television blared an old black and white horror movie about ghouls, and pizza boxes sat empty on the coffee table.
Still munching on the popcorn, they lounged on the couch, caught in a particularly dreadful moment of the film. They were glued to the image of a eighteenth century ghoul stalking a terrified woman, her long skirts skimming mud as she ran for her life.
Jed turned to Téa. "Thank you," he said softly.
"What for?"
"For helping me. I hate the idea of that ... hospital ... but maybe it'll work. It's brighter there ... the loonies are kind of funny."
Téa chuckled sadly. "Well, I'm glad Hank Gannon agreed. Though I wish you didn't have to spend any time there."
"Nothin' I can do now."
"You were trying to help Todd that day. You're not the one the system is trying to protect society from."
Jed shrugged.
Téa's eyes then twinkled as she furrowed her brows, "Your truancy, though, is a far different story, mister. For THAT, they should lock you up until you're thirty and done with years of schooling and professional education. You will emerge from the psychiatric ward a doctor with a background in law."
He smiled guiltily and they both watched the woman on the screen being overpowered by the ghoul. Her fight was over and she'd lost.
"Are you done with him, Téa? You haven't mentioned him much."
Her eyes didn't shift from the television screen where a stream of rainwater grew black with the devoured woman's blood, before rushing along an abandoned road. So much blood ... so little power the woman had against that ghoul. The film then broke to a commercial and, after a shudder, Téa thoughtfully chewed then swallowed a bit of popcorn.
"Am I done? I was storytelling at the exchange the other day, telling a soon-to-be priest and an aging nun about Todd ... about you. Me. Each twist, each event, a cut into my heart."
Jedediah was quiet a second. He asked, "Is he the ghoul in the movie?"
She smiled, realizing that they both saw themselves in the movie. "Maybe he's the rain water, or the blood. Maybe the ghoul is the man who tore him apart as a child or maybe it's the heroin."
"So you're not done."
Fact is, even is she was...done..., Jed did not need to hear such a thing. "No, honey, of course not. I do need —I have been needing —to get up off the ground. To be someone whole again instead of someone who's ... shredded." Her eyes got a little misty and she met Jedediah's youthful gaze. "You need to stand up, too ... it's your blood also that's been washing away with that rain water ... you've been shredded, too."
The expression crossing Jedediah's face confirmed that she was right. He had lost a little of himself over the past few months. He'd been burned by his father more than he ever prepared for. But ... there was still something in his eyes, something that showed all was not lost. There was still a sense of trust.
Téa continued, "I'm happy you have Summer. I see you with her ... I hear you ... laughing ... I hear you ... kissing her."
Jed became embarrassed, but he didn't look away because he needed to hear where he was in this world. He said, "I'll kiss more quietly in the future."
Téa laughed, "No ... I don't want you to do that. I like knowing that she loves you ... for you. I worry about you being hurt ... but ... even if she did hurt you or you hurt her ... it would be a natural part of growing up, a necessary scarring of your heart ... not one that's violent or ... cruel ... or evil—"
"Like what happened to him."
"Yeah." she said beneath her breath. "You know, I think I've learned your strengths. I think I'm looking at a true survivor."
"I don't know ..."
"Look at what you've been through. And despite all of it, you can still laugh, you can still love."
"What about you?"
Téa watched the TV, the townspeople getting ready with their torches, their crude weapons, to take down the ghoul.
"I'll be fine," she said, thinking of Todd. Would he ever be able to laugh again, love? It was going to be a very long struggle. And the end of their movie wasn't anywhere in sight. She shook her head and went back to the film. Tossed a few kernels at Jed who laughed lightly, digging back into the bowl.
Just as the credits rolled, the phone rang. Téa and Jedediah flashed a look at each other with certain worry.
When Téa got up to answer, she said words to distract from the immediate tension, "I demand a rematch to this popcorn game."
She picked up the handset. "Popcorn Etcetera," she said brightly, daring the fates.
"Téa?" It was Tim, his voice, weighted. Her eyes moved to Jedediah quickly.
"Yeah, what's up?" She sighed without thought. His voice told her more than she wanted to know.
"Todd's here, at Llanview Emergency. You need to come, Téa ... you need to see him."
Her heart seemed to stop, the blood of the woman in the movie coming into her head, rain water ...
No... no ... no ... gotta get up ... we're survivors ... I will not be caught lying in that rain water ... no, no, no.
"Téa? You there?"
"What happened?" She said, her voice chilled. Jedediah was getting up ... no ... no …
"Brandy brought him in ... he overdosed ... and ... you need to come in. It's bad."
"No, I don't need to come in." Dropping her head, she didn't hear Jedediah come up next to her. "I don't need to be there. I can't do anything for him. Tim, please, Viki will go. Viki will ... she's his sister ..."
No, no, no...
Téa was starting to cry, and Jed was right there so she stopped herself, tried to...
Jedediah pulled the phone away from her, shocking Téa. "Jed!"
"What's going on?" Jed's voice was cool and serious.
"Jed ..."
"This is about my father, right? TELL ME."
"He overdosed and isn't responding to medication to reverse the situation."
"Is he gonna die?"
Téa shut her eyes because she couldn't take the pain flashing across Jedediah's features. He would survive, yes ... absolutely. But would she? No lying down ... no goddamn lying down with that ghoul ... no watching her blood rush away with the rain water. No more ... no more …
"Is he going ... to die?"
Téa instinctively reached to the boy, but he shook her off.
He then heard Tim breathe into the telephone, pausing, before being obviously truthful, "I don't know, kiddo. I wish I had an answer for you. I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry."
You are beautiful when you cry salted streams of pain. You are as beautiful as rain. You are my treasure divine. You are right, Téa, blooded rain is what I see. From here in this place of quiet. Let me stay. Let me breathe this peacefulness in.
Let me ... let me…
But the image of his loved ones faded and what Todd saw was infinitely less comforting: a man on a stretcher with doctors surrounding him, bright lights shining down on him. Machines flanked him, tubes and cords in and out of him, bags of fluids on either side. His feet lay in stirrups, knees up. He couldn't wrap his head around it.
"What are they doing to him?" Todd whispered as he leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the hospital room. He focused on the man's face which he recognized as his own. "What the fuck are they doing to him?"
"They are examining you, Angel, your body ... for damage."
He breathed on the glass and it steamed up, momentarily blocking his view. As soon as his vision cleared, however, he closed his eyes and then turned around to face the spirit. When he let himself see again, he smiled immediately at her crystalline self, at her colored eyes, and at that ever-present woodsy scent which she always brought with her.
"Damage? I feel great. What damage?" Todd asked.
"Someone hurt you."
"Hurt me ..." he chuckled. "I can't be hurt anymore. They should leave me alone."
He shook his head and turned to see again that body on the table, turning just his head.
"What do you think at seeing him, Angel?"
Todd said nothing, returning his gaze to the spirit. He looked downwards and said softly, "Kinda feel sorry for him, I guess."
"You do?"
The spirit drifted close to Todd, wrapping her warmth around him. He sighed and wished the sensation would never go away. He then said, "He's so helpless. He can't even breathe on his own ... can't fight the doctors."
"Does he want to fight? Does he want to breathe?"
Todd looked up and he bit down on his teeth, ground them for a moment. "I don't know. He's trying ... I feel sorry for him."
"Is it his fault that he's lying there now?"
Todd wanted to cry, but he didn't. His fault ... no ... no, it wasn't his fault. That boy on the bed ... no ... he looked too empty, too weak ... too beaten down to be blamed. With a deep breath, he looked around the room and noted its emptiness ... its whiteness. There were no doors, no windows other than the one looking onto the emergency room, no way out.
He walked to the glass again and could see Tim bent over and trying to explain things to him, trying to reassure him. Todd on the bed was fighting a little now, weakly pulling at restraints. He was trying to get away from the tubing stuck down his throat.
"He's scared ... he doesn't understand. It's not his fault. He was pushed there." Some tears escaped and Todd shut his eyes tightly. "Am I gonna die?"
"Do you want to?"
"I don't know ... will it hurt?"
"No, you won't feel anything."
"Then I want it."
"YOU will not feel pain, but your loved ones will."
"Not for long. They'll be better off in the end." He lightly punched the glass ... punched it again. It didn't break. It was thick and impenetrable. "Give it up!" He yelled to himself through the window. "Give it up ..."
Dr. Shane Lansing finally finished his examination at which point a nurse took an imprint of the bite and then properly dressed and bandaged it. Todd was then repositioned more comfortably on the bed and covered up with the sheet. A nurse commented that he had a fever, that it had increased since he first came in. The doctor glanced at Tim, moving a little away from the bed.
Tim asked, "Well? What did you find?"
Shane sighed, "No evidence of his being raped or even penetrated. No defense wounds on his hands, palms or knuckles. No DNA under his fingernails. No evidence in his mouth that he bit the guy back." He paused. "But there is scarring."
"A single incident? Probably-"
"No," Shane said quietly, interrupting. "Multiple."
Which confirmed Tim's theory… Todd's abuse history was much more extensive than he shared or believed. One day, that reality was going to rear its head. There was no telling when it would happen or what it would do.
"Thoughts on the bite," Tim asked.
"He had to be undressed when it happened because that bite was not impeded, very direct. There are markings on his neck, from fingernails, but like I said, his own are clean so he didn't do it to himself nor did he fight back that way. So my guess is, it started out sexual, most likely consensual... turned violent."
"Makes sense. And you're sure he wasn't raped?"
"Not that I can see. Tests for DNA will tell us if I'm wrong. I can say this, love, based on my experience with assault cases, if the person who bit him LIKE THIS wanted to rape him, there would've been a hell of lot of damage. Whoever bit him is a violent, brutal guy. He would have done your patient up good. Todd is lucky... to have only gotten that bite."
"Some luck." Tim shook his head. It was painful hearing about the scarring, about what might have happened on those streets. All of it was heartbreaking; Tim put the jacket into the plastic bag with the other clothes. Both Shane and Tim then noticed movement.
Todd drunkenly swatted at the nurse with his hands, the first signs that he might be coming out of his heroin intoxication. A nurse restrained his wrists to the bed, but once he couldn't move his arms, he tried kicking so restraints went on his legs too. Usually, heroin overdoses were quickly stopped but not this time. He'd definitely been exposed to the contaminated heroin.
Trying to calm his patient, Tim said gently, "Todd ... it's me, Tim. You're okay, kiddo ... you're safe ..." Todd struggled silently against the breathing tube, moving his head as if attempting to get away from it. Tim tried explaining it to him even though he knew Todd probably wouldn't be able to process what was being told to him. "You have a plastic tube inside of your mouth and throat; it's to help you breathe because your lungs have fluid, because your body isn't letting you breathe very well on your own. Please don't fight it ... just relax. We'll take it out soon, kiddo ..."
As Tim thought, Todd didn't stop fighting, kept trying to get away from the tube in his mouth. But after a while, he did slow down, then stopped moving completely ... slipping back into a deep slumber. Dr. Lansing noticed it too and got busy looking at all Todd's vitals. A nurse joined him, checking all the connections to verify the readings.
Tim left the room at that, needing air. Once in the hallway, he leaned against the wall.
After some time, the doctor returned to him, "You alright?"
"Not really. I'm trying to separate, Shane, I really am but… damn… I just gotta take a break. I knew this was going to happen. I prepared for it. It's tougher than I thought it would be."
"Well, don't take too long a break," Dr. Lansing said in a bleak tone, putting his hand on his partner's shoulder. "Your patient's in serious trouble. He's in a coma, love. And you know the statistics on this."
"Oh ... God." Yeah, if the Narcan didn't wake them up, chances are, odds favored, no recovery.
Todd Manning was dying.
There was a commotion brewing, however, and when Tim turned around to look down the hall, to see what the fuss was, he saw quite a sight: a distraught Téa and Viki arguing with police officers and a morose Jedediah in handcuffs. Bo Buchanan was there, too, coming towards Tim with a warrant in his hand and determination on his face.
"Dr. Graham," Bo said icily, "I understand you have Todd Manning here. He's wanted for assault with a deadly weapon among other colorful charges. It's our intention to bring him into custody, right along with his son. Quite a pair, wouldn't you say?"
To be continued...