X
you're the color
the movement and the spin
(never)
could it stay with me the whole day long
- The Notwist
X
''Hello America, it's Brittany S. Pierce here once again with yet another special on location episode of Fondue For Two in Pittsburgh. Joining me today is the one and only Brian Kinney...''
Brittany and Brian sat upon the couch in Brian's office in the Kinnetik building. On her side of the couch she sat with her body half turned to the camera and half turned to Brian who looked about ten kinds of uncomfortable.
Earlier in the day she had approached him at the diner about possibly making an appearance on her talk show. While Brittany tried her best to charm him with her smile she had a feeling it was the thinly veiled threats Santana muttered under her breath that really convinced the man to say yes to her invitation.
And that's how they had ended up here in Brian's office. Santana had given her a kiss good luck but stayed behind while Brittany dragged Brian off to start filming.
''I can't believe you talked me into this,'' Brian said, shaking his head at himself for not being able to say no to her for fear that Santana would make good on her promise to hit him so hard he'd feel it in his balls if he didn't agree to the appearance.
''...Brian is the brains behind Kinnetik advertising but I personally know him as the whipped as fuck boyfriend of my cousin Justin Taylor,'' Brittany continued speaking her introduction to the camera set up on a table across from them.
Brian turned and looked straight into the lens to address their imaginary audience. ''For the fucking record-''
''You can't say fucking.''
''But you just said it,'' he huffed.
Brittany gave him a scoffy don't-pull-that-with-me face. ''Yeah but I'm the host. My show, my rules,'' she said, clearly and purposely toying with him.
Brian blinked rapidly in confusion but thought better than to try to combat or make sense of her thinking. He just breathed and accepted it with a resigned sort of calm. ''For the record,'' he started again, refraining from littering his speech with vulgarities, ''I am not whipped thank you very much.''
''If you say so,'' Brittany said wearily. She threw a disbelieving shake of her head at the camera. She'd seen first hand how the rude and offensive Brian turned into a cuddly cupcake around her cousin. The fact that he denied it was more than laughable. Brittany moved on though, pointing her index finger into the air. ''Moving on, as a frequent patron of The Liberty Diner can you tell me what exactly is the special ingredient that makes its signature lemon squares so addictive? Is the key secret ingredient spittle as you so claim?''
''No, no, spittle is only the secret ingredient that Debbie personally adds to my very own meals,'' he joked with a straight face. ''It's an acquired taste but I've come to enjoy it.''
''Good to know,'' she said with a nod and again pushed the conversation with yet another random question. ''So Brian even though you and my cousin Justin now live full time in New York did you get a sense of hometown pride when,'' she held up her finger and from some magical place managed to produce a magazine, ''the Advocate named Pittsburgh number five on its list of The Top Gayest Cities in America?''
''Actually I did, although to be frank I'm a little disappointed that we didn't rank higher considering that Liberty Avenue is the birthplace of yours truly,'' he paused to point to his face and strike a handsome pose, ''I'm seriously considering writing a letter to the editor on the behalf of our community. We should have easily made the top three.''
''Agreed. Liberty Avenue is pretty much made of unicorns. I myself am a bicorn.''
''A bicorn?''
''Mmhm, I'm bisexual.''
''Yeah, Sunshine mentioned that once,'' he said with a stilted little chuckle and pulled a silly face for some reason.
She raised an eyebrow at his flippant reply and manner. ''What?'' she laughed.
''What?''
''You just made a face.''
''Did not.''
''Did too.''
''Oh come on, Kinney, what is it?''
He shook his head, trying to bat away the question. ''Nothing.''
And then it dawned on her. His tone and the funny little perplexing expression that played across his face for a millisecond before disappearing entirely. His sudden and uncharacteristic silence.
She nodded as she realized. ''Oh….oh….okay, let me guess, you're one of those people that doesn't believe in bisexuality?''
''I didn't say say that.''
''Problematic!'' she said, pointing a finger at him but doing so with a smile.
''No, wait, hey,'' he began with a laugh, ''it's not that I don't believe in it. I get loving dicks and I understand loving pussy, I just don't get liking both at the same time.''
Brittany looked into the camera. ''Things are about to get real here viewers,'' she said knowingly. She turned back to him, stunned. ''Are you really saying this?''
''You asked.''
''You know there's a lot more to being bi than just 'loving dicks and pussy' though right?''
''Is there? All I know is I don't particularly understand it,'' Brian continued with a nonchalant shrug.
''So?''
''So, what?''
''So what if you don't understand it,'' she said plainly. ''Like that's too bad but there's a lot of things in this world that people don't understand, but who says you have to understand something in order to respect it?'' she countered keeping her tone firm and even, not for a second losing her cool. ''I mean I don't understand your friend Ted's love of opera-''
''Nobody understands Ted's love of opera.''
''-or why there are no 'B' batteries or why those styrofoam thingys are called peanuts if you're not supposed to eat them or why my cat Lord Tubbington likes to lick Santana's hair when she's asleep - but that's the world we live in. Not everyone will understand everything and that's okay but you gotta respect it.''
He tilted his head, puzzled by a part of her speech while looking like he was considering the other half.
She hadn't actually planned on opening the kind of door to a serious conversation. All of the questions she had thought of on the way to his office space were actually all pretty ridiculous. Her intention was to harmlessly bust his chops and make him squirm in his seat for her own amusement. The plan was to play the segment for laughs, like always.
But with this in her lap now she decided to steer the conversation in another direction.
She liked Brian, she did, but she wasn't going to roll over or be silent on the matter when he so obviously needed enlightening.
''It's like you're a dick around 85% of the time,'' she carried on, ''and not everybody understands that but you still want people to respect you, because that's who you are. Being an asshole is who you are.''
''It is my middle name,'' he reminded her.
''And that's a part of your truth. Just like being gay is another part of your truth, just like being Jewish is a part of my friend Rachel's, or being in a wheelchair is a part of my friend Artie's. Your truth is something about you, your life that no one has any right to judge or like diminish. Some truths are big, some truths are small, but everyone has them. I might not understand all of yours but I'd respect them. And being bi, that's one of my truths.'' She looked at him straight on, challenging him. ''If I respect someone else's truths I think that someone should in turn at least try to respect mine...even if you don't understand it. Because guess what? The world doesn't exist to cater to you, or any one single group or person for that matter.''
Something flashed in Brian's eyes that was both soft and understanding.
He bowed his head into a single nod, accepting all she had to say and digesting it fully and in that moment acknowledging that yes a seventeen year old girl had put him in his place and taught him something.
'' 'I'm queer and to anyone who takes pity or offense I say judge yourself' '' she said.
Brian went slightly slack jawed. ''Where did you hear that?''
''A little birdie once whispered it in my ear. Said they heard some asshole say it once.''
''Sounds like a really smart asshole.''
''Maybe that asshole should take his own words to heart.''
''Maybe he should,'' Brian admitted.
They shared a silent but loaded stare.
She was happy to see his cocky ass was actually receptive to what she was saying.
''I'd ask you how you got to be so smart but then I remember what family you come from,'' he said, softening and taking an affectionate tone. ''Just to be clear though I do you know.''
''Do what?''
''Respect you. And your truths.''
''You do?''
''I'm sorry if I said something disrespectful. You don't deserve that, no one deserves that. My ass, fabulous thing that it is, can sometimes also be ignorant to things. I'm sorry.'' Brian looked sheepish and properly admonished but sounded sincere in his apology. He had a real fondness for her and realized his harsh, thoughtless words would likely put a halt to her fondness for him as a person.
''Well. It's a good thing, otherwise I would have been forced to go all unicorn on your ass.''
''I don't doubt that for a second and anyway I wouldn't want to risk it. Do you have any idea how long it gets me to make my hair look like this?'' He turned to look straight into the camera once again and like the ridiculous asshole he was threw a smoldering glance in its direction.
Amused, Brittany pressed a throw pillow into the side of his face firmly,smushing up his features, ruining his smoldery stare. ''Right. And with that I think we shall conclude this episode of Fondue For Two, until next time America.''
Brittany stood and went to stop the recording while Brian remained seated. ''You're not really gonna use any of this for your internet web whatever show, are you?''
''Why?'' she laughed. ''Afraid to show yourself getting schooled by a teenager?''
''No. I just want you to make sure if you do use this you cut all the footage of my bad angles.''
''I make no promises. I do have journalistic integrity afterall. I can't guarantee to cut the part where it looks like you have a double chin.''
He scrunched up his face. Oh ha ha. ''You're a little shit you know.''
''Yeah that runs in the Pierce-Taylor family too,'' she said as she began to pack her camera into her bag. ''But, you really don't have a problem with me using this? I pretty much made you look like an asshole-''
''I am an asshole.''
''Well yeah but an even bigger asshole.''
''No. You were right to say what you said.''
''Duh.''
''I don't have a problem looking like an ass if I was indeed acting like an ass. I'm a big enough man that I can admit there's probably a bunch of junk I need to unlearn. This was clearly one of them. I needed to hear that and...I think other people out there probably need to hear it too. If you want to use it, use it. I know no one has the right to judge my gay ass, I should fucking learn to stop judging anyone else's.''
''You should.''
''I'll work on that.''
''I'm gonna hold you to it, Kinney.''
X
She didn't fully understand it, or why such a title was unofficially bestowed upon her but within the next several days Santana found herself fully embracing her new sex god status.
Now that she was out, now that she was happy and living her truth in her own time, in her own way the ladies were definitely noticing.
Noticing in a very obvious way that yes at first had been slightly intimidating, but then she had realized there was truly nothing to be intimidated by because as the object of desire, as the one being drooled over and sought she had all the power. Her. With that knowledge she had decided to embrace it.
She was Santana fucking Lopez, she told herself.
And if there was one thing Santana Lopez had learned from all of the comics Michael Novotny had given Brittany it was that with great power came great responsibility. And also? Great perks.
She'd had several encounters with the girls around Liberty Avenue and found that with just a smirk and the batting of her lashes most girls were ready and willing to bend over backwards, quite literally in fact. She had no desire to take any of them up on their offers but she saw no harm in using her superpowers to get something out of it all, whether that was shooting a smile at a hostess to get a better table at a restaurant for her Brittany or harmlessly throwing a wink at a gym bunny for a go at one of the better machines, but it was always just that. Just harmless.
What was the use of it if she wasn't going to have just a tad bit of fun with her sudden and inexplicable appeal she seemed to be radiating. Girls were drawn to her like moths to a flame. And really? Wasn't it the kind thing to do, to grace the ladies of Liberty Avenue with her presence and charisma? Honestly, she was pretty sure she deserved an award for bestowing her hotness upon them all.
And Brittany herself had even said she was okay with the longing stares and cheesy pickup lines Santana received because she was confident in them and what they had together. Nothing and no one could ever touch them.
Yes there had been that one bitch who had taken her flirtations way to far and flat out disrespected Brittany but Santana had dealt and made it clear she wasn't interested in random ass snatch. And weirdly that one interaction had given her even more confidence in her sex god superpowers. She could have anyone but would always choose Brittany and Brittany would choose her.
That she knew and wholeheartedly believed - but she wasn't above using her patented dreamy stare to score a free latte off of a starry eyed female barista which is what she found herself doing on one particular afternoon while out for a solitary stroll around the avenue.
Eventually she made a pitstop at the comic shop where the Michael, Hunter as well as a couple of young customers happened to be hanging around. While Michael was in the process of unboxing and stocking the first printing of the special Snix edition of Rage as well as a few other promotional materials Brian had ordered for the store Hunter sat about on the counter looking completely engrossed as the two customers engaged in friendly debate over the new comic they had gotten a sneak peek of.
''...My point is,'' began one teenage boy sporting a Supergirl t-shirt and thick but trendy specks, ''there have been female superheros before who have been coded as queer but it's always been subtext. But this - Snix - isn't ambiguous at all. Her sexuality is a part of her, she calls herself gay multiple times and does so proudly. Not only that, but she has a legit love scene with her love interest. She as a character is groundbreaking.''
''I agree,'' responded a female brunette teenager who sported equally dark rimmed glasses. ''And I think that's important. I'm just saying as much as I'd love it a hot, gorgeous gay super heroine like Snix would never exist in real life. Like if only.''
It was at this moment Santana allowed the front door to close behind her, making the bell attached to it ring in the process and alerting everyone in the shop to her presence. She stood looking every bit like her graphic novel alter ego, sans her eye mask of course. The two teen customers went slack-jawed at her appearance.
Michael waved her over and began introducing her to his two regular customers who dropped what they were doing and in an instant turned all giggly and starstruck as he explained that standing before them was the real life model for his latest superhero. Upon hearing that the two teenagers shifted into fanboy and fangirl mode and each of them bashfully asked if Santana would do them the honor of signing their copies.
''What?'' Santana laughed. ''Like an autograph?''
''Yeah!''
''If you don't mind that is.''
Both teens were adorably nerdy and sweet and Santana would be the first to admit that if she had encountered these two within the halls of McKinley she might have swatted them away with disinterest but here and now as they nodded eagerly at her and they both pushed a copy in front of her nose along with a Sharpie for her use, she didn't exactly have the heart. She looked at Michael questioningly but the comic shop only just shrugged and smiled, encouraging her on and so she did. She took each comic and jotted her name down with a couple of elaborate squiggly flourishes at the end.
''Santana Lopez,'' the young man read her signature on his copy with a sort of awe.
''You're really hot,'' said the girl.
''Yeah I know, '' Santana replied with a good hearted chuckle and smiled kindly in appreciation.
''Are you also...you know...like...'' the girl began slowly but lost her nerve.
''Gay?'' Santana supplied.
From his spot on the checkout counter Hunter spoke up. ''I think she means were you just a model or is Snix based off of you in more ways than one?''
''Oh my ass is completely gay,'' Santana answered with nonchalance, looking both teenagers in the eyes. ''As for anything else about the character you should prob ask my girlfriend that, she's the one who wrote it. In fact if anyone should be signing this it should be her.''
''Oh my god really?''
''Do you think we could meet her?''
''That would be most awesome!''
Santana smiled at the two teens and quietly informed them that if they happened to pop into Babylon come Snix Night she could maybe introduce them to the author, much to their glee. They let out happy little squeals and immediately turned away from her to begin a very hushed but happy conversation with each other. Santana meanwhile made her way over to Hunter.
''So how come no one told me this was going to be a thing?'' Hunter asked her, motioning to his own copy of the comic in his hand. ''What's it like being a superhero?''
''I'm not a superhero.''
''Try telling them that,'' the college student nodded to the teenagers. ''This is really cool though I gotta say. I love page 16 myself. Snix totally bitchslaps Rage across the face, it's hilarious.''
She cackled at the sight of her dark broody alter ego slapping the crap out of Brian's equally dark broody alter ego. ''I'm getting this page framed.''
Hunter's excitement made it clear he too was already a fan. ''By the way I totes ship Snix with her love interest Bethany. They're like my newest OTP.'' Hunter turned to another page and swung the comic around so Santana could see Snix standing with the tall adorable blue-eyed Bethany as they shared a charged and flirtatious moment. ''Even if Snix likes to play it cold and aloof most of the time it's totally obv that she only has eyes for Bethany who's like the only one in this universe who gets that there's more to Snix than meets the eye. They have this whole yin-yang, push-pull thing going, that's the stuff ships are made of. It's kind of bullshit though that it's left open ended,'' like the teenage boy he was Hunter huffed. ''Like yeah, Snix and Bethany totally get it on but does Bethany ever find out Snix's real identity, does Rage ever team up with Snix again, will JT and Bethany ever cross paths, and more importantly will Snix and Bethany show up again to help the citizens of Gayopolis defeat homophobic Mayor Swine once and for all?!'' Hunter's voice went up in volume and pitch as he went on, eventually leaving him in a state of frustration with all of his unanswered questions. Santana blinked at him and his intense little rant. ''What?! I take my stories seriously Santana, I have a lot of feelings okay. All I am saying is there better be a continuation of this, or Snix should get her own spin-off at least.''
A nearby Michael smiled at his son's fanboying. ''It isn't exactly a done deal yet but if the buzz Brian has stirred and created online for it is anything to go by, you just might see Snix kicking more ass in the near future. Check this out.''
Michael then pulled out a large promotional cardboard window display. There before them all was a perfectly drawn out life sized Snix in all of her graphic novel glory.
''You know...every great superhero has an origin story and not that you need to hear it and not that it means anything but I'm really glad to play a supporting character in yours here on Liberty Ave Santana,'' Michael said with that ever annoying Berry-esque enthusiasm.
Santana smiled. ''I swear to god, Novotny, if you hug me I will fucking punch you.''
''I'm glad to have made a friend in you too,'' he said brightly, not taking her harsh words to heart and feeling the affection behind her harsh words.
X
''Brittany told me you did her show earlier today...'' laughed Justin.
It was late evening and Brian and Justin had just had dinner and were strolling around the avenue. Neither of them were in a rush to locate their car and head off to anywhere in particular, they were simply content to walk the streets and take in the sights and the noises together. Their arms linked as they did so.
''Ah that,'' Brian chuckled and shrugged, playing it casual like. ''Well, I thought I'd do the girl a favor.''
''Oh so you did her a favor huh?''
''Of course. She was in need of a guest and I simply did the polite thing and filled the slot.''
Justin crinkled his eyes. ''And it had nothing to do with Santana threatening you with bodily harm if you didn't agree?'' he snickered.
''That was a factor, yes,'' Brian said in an attempt to retain a bit of of his dignity. ''She threatened to shove lemon squares up my ass if I said no and made Brittany cry, but you know even if she hadn't forced me I still would have done it.''
''Shoved lemon squares up your ass?'' Justin teased. ''Gross.''
Brian bumped into his side. ''I mean go on Brittany's show. Your cousin is...''
''Adorable...innocent...whimsical...?''
''She's all of those things yes, but I was going to say smart.''
''She's brilliant,'' Justin stated matter of factly. This was something he had always known himself.
''I know everyone keeps going on about how you and she are so alike and I hate to sound like a broken record but the more time I spend with her, the truer it becomes. She's intelligent in a way you don't see very often, in a way that reminds me of you. She called me out on something today, and she didn't do it to make me feel badly or cast me as some villain, she pointed out the way in which I was wrong and made me understand why what I was putting out there was problematic. I'll be the first to admit the task of teaching my ass anything takes a great deal of patience. Other than her...you're kind of the only one who's ever had the same kind of patience with me. Your cousin is very special.''
Brian spoke was an almost uncharacteristic like warmth in his voice, usually only reserved for Justin.
''I know,'' Justin said. ''I think Santana's really lucky to have her. Actually I think they're really lucky to have each other. I love watching them together. Santana's all smirk and hard edges to most but then with Brittany, she's just so tender...so gentle. Not to mention the singing.'' Justin sighed and absentmindedly veered off on a tangent as his eyes looked skywards in some dreamy daze, looking so very happy for his cousin and her happiness. ''I'm sure Britt fell for her for a plethora of reasons, but I'm betting that voice of Santana's has to be one of them. It's enough to make anyone swoon.''
Brian made a small noncommittal noise.
''All that talk the other night about how a person basically exposes the most intimate parts of themselves when they sing,'' Justin continued. ''I wasn't too sure about it at first, but after watching the way Santana sings to Brittany, and the way Brittany watches her while she's up there - I get it. There's something about sharing that moment with another person that's...magical. Like it's a really profound gesture from the heart.'' He took a deep breath and laughed off his moment of reflection but it was so very clear to Brian. He could see the slight longing in the blonde man's eyes, to have that kind of affection and attention bestowed upon him.
Justin of course made no comment or request, never one to push the less naturally confident and often reactionary Brian towards something he wasn't ready or willing to do.
But Brian could see it all over his boyfriend's face, and it saddened him that he had still yet to muster up the nerve to shed his fear and hesitance and give Justin what Santana was so able and eager to give Brittany: a song.
It stung him, that Michael could so easily sing to Ben, that Melanie could belt it out for Lindsay, that so many of his friends and family could stand up and sing for no other reason than they wanted to. Not only for their partners but for themselves.
If anyone else had put him on the spot and called him out on his fear he more than likely would have laughed it off and told them to go fuck themselves, but that night when Santana had followed him out and told him that despite all of her help maybe he just didn't have the guts to sing - well. There was something about it coming from her that made it sting more than it would have if it had been someone else.
It was a kick in the balls.
He needed to do this. He had to do this. Yes for Justin but also for himself. He wanted to jump on stage let go off his fear and pride and lay it all out on the line because Brian Kinney never did anything half assed, what he wanted to give to the man he loved was a ridiculously romantic declaration through song.
Yes, Brian thought as he and Justin continued to walk along arm in arm in a comforting silence, if it was the last thing he did in this miserable stinking world, he was going to sing to his Sunshine. He was going to prove to everyone he could do it. He was going to prove to Santana that he had it in him.
He was going to prove to himself that he had it in him.
And with that thought he brought Justin's hand up to his lips and kissed it tenderly as they turned a street corner together.
X
A few blocks away in Babylon Santana was laughing and scrunching up her nose and weakly attempting to swat Brittany's hand away when the blonde tried to boop her with a drink umbrella.
They were taking a breather from the dance floor which they had been thoroughly tearing up for the past couple of hours, or rather Brittany had been tearing it up and Santana had been doing her best to keep up with her, holding onto the blonde's hips, feeling the rhythm in them as they swayed.
She really could dance with Brittany forever but this evening she was eager to call it a night so they could head back to the loft and continue their dance, between the sheets that is. Brittany however wasn't quite ready.
''One more dance,'' Brittany pleaded.
''Mmmmmm, but you said that five dances ago,'' Santana whimpered as Brittany gave her a tiny peck against her neck. A tiny peck that quickly turned into a seductive lick across her tan skin. And god fucking damn it, the things Santana would do for that pink little tongue.
''I know but I mean it this time, one more dance.''
''One more dance and then I can take you home?''
''One more dance and you can do whatever you want to me. Or better yet I can do whatever you want me to do to you.'' Brittany suggested and then just to sweeten the deal and tempt Santana even further, she turned her body around so that her ass bumped against Santana's front teasingly.
Santana let out a noise that sounded like a ''guhhhh'' in response. She couldn't say no to that sweet pout. Or let's be real, that ass. ''Fine. One more dance and then you're mine.''
''I'm always yours.''
With a tug of her hand Brittany led her back to the dance floor where confetti rained down upon everyone under the mirrorball.
They began to move together to the beat. Some deep smooth sexy club tune that Brittany tried to lose herself in.
Santana however was much too caught up in Brittany. It couldn't be helped with their bodies moving in sync, sliding against each other. Hands in hair, on shoulders and hips, grazing and teasing, itching to trail and dance across more skin. Her hands could never get enough, never feel enough.
Santana was shamelessly getting her grope on.
Not that Brittany seemed perturbed by it at all when Santana's hands snaked down and around to deliver a few firm caresses to that perfect ass. Or when Santana leaned forward to lay a warm lingering kiss behind her ear. Or how Santana slowly stroked Brittany's forearm with a fingertip in a way that she knew would send shivers down the blonde's spine.
With Brittany it never really felt like just a dance. It felt like a silent profound form of communication when they gave themselves over to the thumpa thumpa. That unstoppable thrumming that vibrated through the building and their limbs as they quickened their movements. It was a way for their bodies to speak to each other. Dance, for them at least, also worked as a sort of foreplay Santana thought, sometimes it was even a game of sorts to see who could make the other break first.
Inevitably it was always, always Santana. That she could admit to herself.
But tonight, Santana felt the need to lead, to control that delicate yet intense push-pull of that dance towards sexual satisfaction. She was ready to take that dance off the floor and into the bed.
''I know what you're doing,'' Brittany whisper-shouted over the music, reveling in Santana's hands all over her.
''Oh?'' Santana played coy.
''You're trying to rile me up.''
''Am I?''
''You are.''
''And is it working?''
''It's working alright.''
They didn't so much finish their last dance as they did stagger off the floor, only coming to stop in a nice dark corner of the club where Santana nudged Brittany's back against a wall. She ran kisses along a pale neck and eventually travelled down to Brittany's exposed shoulder blade. She savored and relished the taste of her smooth skin.
''I love it you know,'' Brittany said breathlessly.
''Love what?''
''How you want it all the time. How you want me all the time.''
Santana wordlessly responded by rocking her form against Brittany's slightly taller frame and pressing herself up against her firmly, eliciting a little aroused squeak at the less than innocent contact.
''Let's get a cab so we can go back to the loft and you can help me get out of this dress.''
Santana shook her head as a certain wicked thought crossed her mind. ''I have a better idea.''
''And that is?''
''I have you here...in Babylon.''
''Like last time upstairs in the corner?''
Santana shook her head once more.
''Alone in the VIP room?''
And again Santana shook her head in the negative and watched as Brittany tried to connect the dots in her head until it finally came to her...
Their eyes locked and together they both cast a glance to a dark doorway several feet to their right where a couple of young giggling women entered just then.
The backroom, or rather the backroom Brian had set aside and dedicated to the female patrons of Babylon who wished ''to get their sin on'' like some of the male club goers did in their own backroom. It was a place specifically designated for hooking up, either with your partner or a stranger you happened upon on the dance floor.
Brian had seemed absolutely tickled when he had explained it to them. Melanie however had referred to the rooms as dens of debauchery.
With surprise in her tone Brittany blinked rapidly. ''Really? The backroom?''
''Why not?''
''I didn't think you were that into the idea.''
It was true Santana hadn't been as openly keen as Brittany had been when they were all discussing it that one night, but she had been quietly curious. And fueled by her own arousal on this evening her simple curiosity had turned more eager, more hungry. She wanted Brittany but she was too far gone to flag down a cab and suffer the fifteen minute drive back to the loft to have her. Hell, even the thought of having to agonize through the five minutes it would take to climb the stairs and lock themselves alone in the VIP room seemed like torture. But...if they took a few short strides to their side they could slip into that doorway, find a flat surface or a wall, and tear into each other like she so desperately wanted.
''Of fucking you? Trust me I'm always into that idea.''
''I mean I didn't think you were keen on checking out the backrooms,'' laughed Brittany. ''You sounded like you were sorta on the fence about it when everyone was talking about it the other night.''
Santana shrugged. ''Well I've decided differently. What's the harm right and anyway we're here and if I don't get inside of you in the next five seconds my head might explode.''
''That would be tragic.''
''Besides don't you want to do a little exploring.''
''Only with you. I mean if we're together...and if you wanted to…?''
''And I'm saying I want to,'' Santana affirmed smoothly. ''So what do you say you and me take a little trip back there and see what it's all about.''
''Lead the way,'' Brittany whispered.
Santana swallowed her nerves and did just that and began guiding them towards that doorway.
Truthfully Santana wasn't entirely sure what they'd come across on the other side of it but she walked confidently, weaving them both through a few clusters of people mingling about in front of it.
Hand in hand they entered, and just like that the air around them changed.
At first it was hard to make anything out. The backroom was darker than the main floor of the club. Everything here was cast in dim orange and blue hues, making silhouettes of people. The dance beat that pulsed throughout the club sounded slightly dulled within the backroom, with the most obvious, most significant sounds coming from its many occupants. All around them were the faint sounds of breathy little moans and pants; couples and pairs adorned couches and corners and small, slim corridors.
Girls were all over each other, Santana noted to herself.
Her pulse quickening slightly in thrill.
The entire room felt and sounded like sex. It was both intimidating and intriguing.
Santana felt Brittany squeeze her hand and noticed the blonde take in the same sights and sounds. The girl looked... for just a moment...briefly conflicted.
''We don't have to be here,'' Santana quietly reminded her.
Brittany shook her head, blinking hard and away from the scene before them to focus on Santana. ''No. I want to...with you. I want you.''
As if to prove her point Brittany started to tug them along, past other couples, through the invisible fog of aroused groans and whimpers, until they were tucked away in a corner that afforded them the tiniest bit of privacy, which wasn't much in a place like this. And it was there they resumed their positions.
Brittany pressed herself up against a wall and Santana happily and eagerly went to stand before her.
''You're so unbelievable,'' Santana husked deeply. ''I want you so bad right now, Britt. You were so amazing on that dance floor. The way you move...the way you look...the way you everything, I want it all, I want everything.''
As those words travelled through her ears Brittany felt her entire body come alive, delicious tingles bubbled up her spine. She felt Santana everywhere and all at once, overwhelming her already and they had barely even begun.
They made eye contact silently, their heavy hot breath was the only thing between them, and with a blink Brittany gave her permission and with sure hands Santana reached below to shimmy Brittany's short dress up a couple of inches, just enough so she could get at the tiny bit of fabric, string really, that was Brittany's already wet underwear. She hooked a finger inside and pulled at them. So flimsy and thin she was able to do away with them without even having to get Brittany to step out of them.
Once that barrier was gone she pulled one of the girl's legs to the side, curling it around her hip with one hand and sliding the other down between them.
Santana was drunk on arousal and could only think of being inside of Brittany, of being inside of that warmth and heat. Everything else, the dull thumping of music, the moaning of strangers, the dark seductive lighting, the strange room, all of that fell away when she moved a hand between them and made contact.
With closed eyes she entered Brittany and was transported to some other place. A beautiful place. That place was Brittany.
Because when she was in Brittany that was all that existed, the two off them. In her eyes it was as if the entire world paused for them when their bodies met this way. All of her focus, all of her passion was in them, in their connecting, in their push and pull, in their want.
And oh the want.
Santana's breath was hot against Brittany's neck as she began to keep a rhythm, thrusting into the girl with a mad need to have her shudder against her.
Brittany meanwhile was trying to give herself over to the moment, to Santana, but for the first time since they had started sleeping together she found herself having a hard time doing so. She wanted Santana, she wanted this, she wanted them, but her head kept getting distracted.
She wasn't sure why...except no, that was a lie.
She knew why.
They were in a dark room full of people. Full of strangers. And while they were no strangers themselves to occasional public sex, to sneaking off for a quickie in a deserted hall or a bathroom, this somehow felt very different.
And not, Brittany thought, in a good way.
Which was weird she thought, because she had always thought herself to be pretty sexually open and liberated and she had even been the one to float the idea of a fieldtrip to the lady loving backroom up when they had first learned about them from Brian and the others. She had been the one to open that door between her and Santana, because it had sounded like another wild dirty adventure for she and Santana. At the time anyway.
But here and now inside of it, the initial appeal of it was becoming...a lot less seductive.
Every time she tried to close her eyes and focus on Santana moving against her and inside of her, the sounds would bring her out of it. There were girls all around them moaning and groaning in a totally un-PG-13 like way. There was a constant stream of breathy feminine ''yes'', ''right there'', ''fuck me's'' floating throughout the room and while she would usually think those sounds were pretty hot...there was something about it now that simply...wasn't.
It just felt strange. It just felt empty. It just felt hollow.
They were strangers, strangers getting their rocks off right in front of her.
She blinked her eyes open, thinking if she could just see Santana everything else would disappear, but instead she found her gaze roving over the room. To the other young women partially undressing, to hands being snaked under another's clothes. There were at least six other pairs of girls furiously making out within a few feet of them, and a few of those pairs were doing a lot more than making out.
She blinked again, and again, trying to feel Santana, trying to feel that spark that always ignited between them when they touched. That fire and that heat that was so uniquely theirs. She couldn't find it and she couldn't feel it.
At least not here, not in this moment, not when she sensed so many eyes on them.
Or rather so many eyes on Santana who was still hotly panting against her neck, giving and taking and whispering her name over and over again as she slowly and purposely pumped her fingers into Brittany.
It felt good, because Santana always felt good but Brittany couldn't give herself over to it like she wanted. Not when there were so many girls, so many moans, so many bodies, so many stares. So many and so much and all of them, she felt, were looking and staring and wanting what she had, who she had.
Even though Santana was still in her short dress and the only skin on display was her arms and legs, Brittany couldn't get the idea out of her head: they're all looking at Santana because they all want Santana.
The girl standing in the corner, the girl on the other side of the hall, the girl making out with another young woman with open eyes, kissing her partner while casting an intrigued glance at Santana's back as she thrusted into Brittany.
Brittany swallowed and tried to shake her head to regain herself, to shake those thoughts from her head but she couldn't.
All she could see were flashes, of other girls, of hands and legs and thighs and lips and eyes. Eyes on her, eyes on Santana, eyes she couldn't escape.
And because of that for whatever reason, she couldn't let go, she couldn't find release even when she wanted it, even when she knew Santana was doing everything right, everything good to take her body there, to take both of them there.
Brittany shuddered...and not in the way she usually did at Santana's touch.
''Baby,'' she whispered into her ear softly and ran a hand over dark locks.
''God you feel so good,'' Santana said, still overcome with her own desire and blind to Brittany's moment of unease.
''Baby...San...hey,'' Brittany started. She pulled Santana's head back gently so they could look each other in the eyes. ''I don't think...I mean I...it's...''
At the first sign of obvious discomfort Santana stopped immediately, returning to her overly attentive self. ''Ev-everything okay?''
''Yeah, yeah,'' Brittany nodded, playing it all down, smirking it away so as to not worry her. ''I just think...I've kind of had enough of here. It's been...something alright but I think I'd rather go home.''
''Home?''
''Yeah, I just, I want you in bed on top of me. I want us that way,'' Brittany quietly requested.
And without another word or needing to be convinced Santana gave her a single nod and a kiss.
She helped Brittany cover her lower section back up by smoothing out her dress and then led them back out, out of the crowds and the club and down the avenue.
When they got back to the loft they undressed quickly and fell into bed, and Brittany felt immensely more confident and comfortable now that they were alone with each other. She felt hypnotized watching as Santana slowly rocked against her, her perfect bronze body on full display above an equally nude Brittany. Their fronts meeting again and again and again, creating galaxies. Brittany gave her body up, ready to let go, to be had, to fall apart in those arms.
And oh how she did. Several times in fact. Santana seemed to want to go on forever, overcome with passion as if unable to stop until they were both spent and sated.
Their limbs tangled and entwined against wet messy sheets for the next couple of hours until finally Santana's hips went wild against Brittany, who was splayed open and wide as her girlfriend rolled against her.
They both saw white flash behind their closed eyes.
And then breathing heavily they both came back to earth.
Santana hummed as she opened her eyes. ''God damn,'' she said and looked down at where their bodies met and at the mess they had made together. The sheets were covered in them absolutely everywhere. ''Britt...you...were...incredible,'' she said between gasps for air, a lusty and proud grin spreading across her face.
Santana flopped down on top of Brittany, giving one of her exposed breasts a tender kiss before placing several more across her collarbone, neck and cheek, eventually her lips travelled up to give her the sweetest of kisses upon her mouth.
With a happy sexy little whimper Brittany kissed back, loving the attention and the weight of the other girl's body atop of her own. ''I was?''
Santana rolled off of her with a chuckle. ''You act like this is brand new information, babe.''
Brittany turned on her side, placed an elbow down and propped her head up with her palm. ''Well, you were pretty incredible yourself. I can't even count how many times I came.''
''Five,'' Santana stated with a wiggle of her brows. She looked quite proud of that feat.
''You kept count?''
''Of course. Tonight has to go in our Top 5 Fucks without a doubt,'' Santana cracked up, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. ''I can't believe what we did tonight. I mean, the backroom. That was...was...it was...''
Brittany was about to open her mouth and offer up a few words of her own. Strange, uncomfortable, hollow. It was all of those things amplified but before she could say any of that out loud Santana leapt back into speech.
''It was exciting,'' Santana continued with a laugh. Her eyes were glazed over, looking a little stunned at their dirty excursion. ''Right? I mean yeah it was kind of intimidating but I've never seen a place like that in my entire life. Like never in my wildest fantasies would I ever be in a scene like that, but I was, we were and...it was different and a little scary but with you...it was hot, Britt.''
Santana moved her hand over to Brittany's mouth and placed her thumb against her lips, stroking them lovingly.
''Do you really mean that?''
''Would I lie to you?'' Santana asked flippantly, thinking absolutely nothing of it and gave her temple a peck.
Brittany didn't answer, instead she watched Santana fall into a deep contented slumber which allowed Brittany to trace fingertips across her stomach and chest. Every once and awhile she let her hand wander up to touch the tips of her long dark hair before sliding back down and opening her hand up fully to glide her palm along the expanse of skin.
And in the dark Brittany blinked, and she ached as that certain tiny ball of worry and wonder in her gut began to grow. Not only did it grow from within her, it also began to gnaw at her insides, at her heart.
It was supposed to be a game, an adventure, a dirty little fieldtrip and more than anything as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, Brittany wished Brian and his stupid big mouth had never brought it up or told them about it. That she had never joked about wanting to take a peek inside. That she had said no when Santana opened that door for them tonight.
She didn't like the feeling it gave of her, she didn't like seeing all of those eyes on Santana, she didn't like seeing girls openly lust after the person s he loved, and though she'd never say it out loud it hurt her heart just to witness it, to see desire burning in their eyes for what was hers...but more than that, more than any of it, it hurt to know that while she had found it all so empty and unappealing, Santana had found the scene exciting and seductive.
Brittany didn't want to think about what that meant. She didn't want to know what it meant. Because if it meant what she thought it meant, she knew something inside of her would surely break.
X
A/N: I'm still here. This chapter was a pain in the butt. The trickiest scene for me was Brittany and Brian during the Fondue For Two segment because I wasn't sure how to play it. At first I envisioned the scene as a silly filler moment but it was surprisingly hard to come up with funny questions for her to make him squirm. But then I thought what else can I try with this scene, why is it here, what could be it's purpose and I remembered a scene with those two that I cut from a previous chapter.
Basically we all know how Glee sucked at representing bisexuality, well QAF was no different, if anything it was way worse. QAF fans will be the first to admit it had some major problematic elements. It severely lacked diversity. However for it's time (it began in the year 2000 which was a very landscape than today) it was generally considered groundbreaking. Groundbreaking doesn't mean it was perfect though.
A fan once tweeted Randy Harrison (Justin) 'I wonder what Queer as Folk would have been in the Obama era' and Randy replied 'more colorful, more trans, more gender variant, less patriarchal and more queer'.
One moment that always rubbed me the wrong way is a rather crappy remark Brian makes in S4 about bisexuality. I had previously written a scene where Brittany challenges Brian in conversation about the matter, and since I had some space I thought I could maybe incorporate bits and pieces of that into their interview segment.
I'm afraid it perhaps comes off as preachy, but I just wanted that scene to happen because I wanted Brian to be smacked in the face with common sense, and I think Brittany was just the person to do it. In my head that scene is sort of righting a wrong from the series, if you will.
As for what I'm doing with Brittany, well, you'll see though I'm curious if anyone has it figured out. Hmmm….