Break Chapter 5, a call the midwife fanfic

The soft morning light streaming into the bedroom through the blinds woke Patsy the next morning. Before she even opened her eyes, she felt as warm and cozy as she ever remembered being, and she was hard pressed to stir and rise from her place under the heavy duvet, but she found the need to use the toilet was growing more urgent with each passing second. She rolled over slightly to her left, and her senses were filled with the scent of lavender, and more warmth next to her. Patsy reached up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before she blinked them open to see Delia sound asleep, laying on her back, snoring softly with her mouth open just slightly. The woman looked so adorable to Patsy. Thoughts from the previous evening rushed to the forefront of her memory and Patsy felt overwhelmed with emotion. She didn't know what to do with herself just then as she looked at the woman who not only forgave her for her abhorrent behavior the previous two weeks, but was mature enough to push it all aside and give their relationship, however she defined it, a fresh start. She had even stumbled upon Patsy's deepest secret, and not only did Delia not feel sorry for her, she refused to let Patsy turn her away from showing her any kindness.

Patsy didn't know what to do. She wanted to reach out and hold the woman next to her, but she didn't want to wake her. More importantly, she didn't know if Delia would have a negative reaction to being held. What right did Patsy have anyway? Anxiety rose within Patsy's chest at the thought of rejection from Delia. Maybe she was just being kind because it was in her nature, like she said. Maybe Patsy shouldn't think that she fancied her. Did she even fancy Delia? This was all so sudden, all so new. There were a myriad of unknowns and risks for Patsy to even consider such a thing, so she closed her eyes and swallowed her feelings for the time being, resolving to just leave it for now.

Still, the urge to connect with Delia somehow after everything that had transpired the night before was overwhelming. Patsy conceded to softly press her forehead against Delia's shoulder for only a moment and breathe in her scent. It was a small touch, a silent thanks, but to Patsy it was the deepest connection to Delia she could think to make that meant something to her, even if Delia wasn't even awake to experience it.

It was probably for the best that she wasn't.

Quietly, Patsy got out of bed and left the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click. As far as she could tell, Delia was still sleeping soundly.

Patsy tiptoed across the hall into the bathroom and used the toilet. As she was washing her hands, she looked down to see her bite marks had faded just the tiniest bit. Usually she would get aggravated and find some excuse to bite and reopen the old wounds before they could heal fully, but she hadn't found herself so stressed out to the urge of biting herself in days. She smiled at the thought again of Delia rubbing lotion over her arms as hands the night before. Her skin still felt soft and smelled of lavender.

As she turned off the water and dried her hands with a flannel, Patsy caught the sight of herself in the mirror. Her eyes didn't have bags under them, as she was accustomed to seeing. Her skin looked healthier, too, noticing she had some color to her cheeks that hadn't been there before.

Patsy put it to the back of her mind as she left the bathroom and found her rucksack in the lounge, pulling on a jumper and some thick socks before she walked around the house opening all the curtains, filling the house with the soft natural light from the early morning sun. Well, as much sun as could get through the grey clouds. Patsy frowned with a sigh, seeing that it was snowing again, and she made a mental note to herself to make sure that Phyllis didn't take any vacation days away from their schedule for being stuck here however many days that was going to be.

Patsy took a moment to crack her neck and stretch again, doing her signature move of reaching for the ceiling, listening to all her joints pleasantly pop and click before her mind wandered to what she was going to do today. She sighed as she stretched her muscles, thinking gloomily that she would be spending more time today outside shoveling the walk given the freshly fallen snow. Her eyes scanned the room and she realized that she had never gotten around to giving the corners a deep clean from their cobwebs. She was surprised she was able to even fall asleep in a house that hadn't been sanitized to her standards! She resolved to skip shoveling in favor of cleaning inside today to give her back a break.

But first, tea.

Patsy headed to the kitchen and poured some water into the kettle, letting it warm on the stove. She found some sliced bread in the freezer and threw a few slices in the toaster before searching the refrigerator for any condiments to go with. She was pleased to see an already opened jar of jam in the door.

As the kettle screamed, Patsy placed two mugs on the counter with the Yorkshire tea that was still wedged in the spice rack and poured the hot water over them. While the tea steeped, she put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at the disorganized spice rack. Before she realized she was doing it, she took out all the spices and other bags of tea that weren't meant to be there, wiped the rack clean with a flannel, and placed all the spices back on the rack in alphabetical order, placing the teas in their rightful cubby above one of the kitchen counter.

Patsy nodded resoundingly at her handiwork and eyed the floor to ceiling pantry, her fingers itching to pull everything out and organize it all so everything was in their proper place and facing forward, but she resolved to drink her tea first and have a bit of breakfast before she lost herself in her cleaning and organizing.

She brought the two mugs to the small table by the window and tried to relax as she sat, looking at the pristine hillside landscape outside as the snow silently fell. It was in this moment that she thought of George and missed him, thinking that the lazy boy warming her lap while she did some newspaper crosswords would be divine right about now. She would need to try and get ahold of Trixie at some point to see if she could extend her visits to George until she and Delia could get out of here.

Patsy was lost in her thoughts as she sipped her tea. She didn't even notice the bedroom door opening and Delia stepping into the kitchen with a yawn. Patsy almost jumped when she felt the smaller woman gently squeeze her shoulder.

'Hey pretty girl,' Delia said with a tired smile, and Patsy turned to look at her with a surprised expression, hear heart thumped in her chest so hard she felt herself propel forward.

'Is that for me?' Delia asked, looking to the second mug of tea on the table.

Patsy could only blink and silently nod, noting Delia's braid had come slightly loose during the night and her brunette hair fell and framed her face in thick tendrils. Patsy thought she looked rather beautiful.

'Thank you,' Delia said softly as she sat in the chair next to Patsy, reaching to take two spoonfuls of sugar from the cup on the table and stir it into her tea.

Patsy didn't register a thing she said as she was still running high on the first thing Delia said when she entered the kitchen.

iPretty girl/i? Patsy thought, She called me ipretty girl/i? iMe/i? That absolutely does not mean she fancies me. She couldn't. She must call all her friends pretty girl, right? I swear I've seen her interact with the other nurses at the clinic and she's called them something similar. Val? Lucille? Certainly I've heard her call them pretty girl. Must have. She wouldn't call me that otherwise. Wait, does she consider me a friend now?

'Pats?'

Patsy blinked, 'Hmm?'

'What on earth are you thinking?'

'Hmm? What?' Patsy said, feeling her face grow hot, 'I'm not thinking anything. What makes you think I'm thinking anything?'

Panicking, Patsy sipped her tea and averted her gaze from Delia and pointedly looked out the window.

Delia raised an eyebrow, bringing her mug to her face to hide her smirk, 'There just seems to be a lot of action going on behind those eyebrows…'

Eyebrows? Patsy thought, her eyes nearly rolling to the back of her head attempting to actually see her eyebrows.

'Oh, they, um… they have a mind of their own,' Patsy said lamely, 'just… pay them no attention.'

Delia shook her head, suppressing a grin. She sipped her tea and Patsy was thankful that she seemed to decide to let Patsy's weirdness go without further comment.

'Did you sleep well?' Delia asked.

'Oh,' Patsy blinked, thinking for a moment, 'actually, now that I think about it, the last two nights I've had some of the deepest, least interrupted sleeps that I can remember.'

'Hmm,' Delia smirked, looking at Patsy with an eyebrow raised, 'you think the lack of alcohol and increase in exercise has anything to do with it?'

Patsy opened her mouth and took in a breath of air, about to protest, when she stopped herself. Now that she thought of it, she hadn't had iany/i alcohol in the past few days. Additionally, she had been moving her body a lot more, working the muscles all over and getting a lot more exercise than she would have just simply walking around the clinic all day. It wasn't any wonder suddenly why she had been so tuckered our recently.

'Huh,' Patsy said, 'I suppose you're right.'

'You would be wise to assume I'm always right, Pats,' Delia said smug as she sipped her tea.

Patsy playfully narrowed her eyes at the brunette but decided not to comment.

Toast sprang out of the toaster noisily and Patsy rose from her seat to prepare it with jam.

'Would you like some?' she asked Delia, and the woman back at the table nodded. Patsy placed more bread in the toaster before sitting back down at the table.

'You can have this if you like,' she said, pushing the toast to Delia, 'I can wait for the next batch.'

'Or we can share,' Delia said, taking one piece of toast and pushing the plate back to Patsy. The redhead nodded and the two nibbled on their toast together, their gaze turning towards the snow falling out the window.

'So,' Delia started with a sigh, 'what shall we do with ourselves today?'

Patsy shrugged, 'I was going to go out and finish shoveling the driveway but there doesn't seem to be a point until the snow stops, so I'll stay in and clean the house,' Patsy said, her eyes narrowing in on another spider web in the corner of the ceiling, 'I'm surprised I've lasted this long without giving this whole place a good once over.'

Delia followed her gaze to the spiderweb before turning back to Patsy with a smile, 'Spiders are useful, Pats. They eat other bugs.'

Patsy grimaced disapprovingly, 'Well they don't need to do it here where iwe/i eat.'

Delia giggled, 'I've noticed you're quite the tidy person. I bet you live in a spotless flat, don't you?'

More toast noisily popped up from the toaster and Patsy rose from her seat to retrieve it.

'Deels, you better start playing the lotto because every assumption you've had about me so far has been correct,' Patsy said she she walked to the counter and spread more jam on the toast before bringing it and the kettle back to the table. She refilled Delia's mug with more hot water and finished off what was left of it into her own.

Patsy sat down and finally looked to Delia, who was looking back at her with a goofy smile and a faint blush across her cheeks.

'What is it?' Patsy asked with an eyebrow raised. Delia was acting rather peculiar all of a sudden.

'Deels?' Delia said, her dimples showing and Patsy felt her heart flutter in her chest at the sight.

Patsy merely blinked back at her, not having the foggiest.

'You called me Deels,' Delia elaborated, still smiling.

Patsy felt her face grow hot, 'Oh, um, sorry, iDelia/i,' she reiterated wondering where the heck Deels even came from.

'No, it's cute,' Delia said, 'I like it.'

'Oh…' Patsy mumbled, sipping her tea, knowing for sure how that her face was growing more red by the second with Delia gazing warmly at her.

Patsy blinked, 'Um,' she started, desperate to take the attention off her, 'what, um… what did you want to do today?'

Delia finally blinked and looked away, her gaze turning up in thought, 'Oh! Well, I suppose if you're cleaning I could also do something to help out. I know that chicken is in there. That would be a nice hearty meal to make for dinner. Perhaps I could look around and see what else is in the cupboard and see what I can make.'

'You want to make that entire chicken?'

'Why not? It'll feed us for days,' Delia say back in her seat and looked up in thought, 'Plenty of options with the leftovers; more stews, maybe a savory pie,' she shrugged, 'might even be able to whip up some curry.'

Patsy sipped her tea with a small smile, rather impressed with Delia's resourcefulness in the kitchen.

'Well, Delia you cooked yesterday,' Patsy said, 'I can take care of dinner today if you want.'

'I don't want,' Delia said with a smirk, 'besides, do you even like cooking? You mentioned when we first got here that you don't usually cook.'

Patsy shrugged, sipping the last of her tea. The woman had a point.

'Well I love cooking,' Delia continued, 'and baking. I'm not so much into deep cleaning like you seem to be,' she tilted her head and caught Patsy's eye, 'How about you leave the cooking to me and you can get this place smelling lemony fresh?'

Patsy gave in, nodding with a small smile that had the brunette showing off her dimples.

'Just so long as you hold off on cooking until I can organize that damn pantry,' Patsy said, turning around and narrowing her eyes at the floor to ceiling pantry that was bulging at the seams with disorganized and hastily put away food.

'It's really bothering you, isn't it?' Delia said with an amused smirk.

Patsy harrumphed and crossed her arms, 'Don't know how people live like this, just tossing things places.'

Delia hummed as she downed the last of her tea, 'Not everyone can be as fastidious as you, Pats,' she smiled endearingly at her before scooting her chair back, 'Well, if you're going to be in here cleaning, I think I'll treat myself to a nice long bath before committing to making food all day.'

'Sounds like a plan,' Patsy nodded, closing her eyes tight trying to focus on the cupboard and inot/i the image of Delia bathing that popped into her head. Delia rose from her seat and collected their empty mugs and plate before sequestering herself in the bathroom, and Patsy took a deep breath of air and resolved to get to work.

In the hour that passed, Patsy had managed to pull everything from the cupboard, wipe down all the shelves, sweep, and organize everything as she placed the items back on the shelf. She repeated these steps for all the other cupboards, collecting all glasses, mugs, plates, bowls, and silverware. She fit all she could in the dishwasher and ran it, meanwhile filing the sink with soap and hot water to soak anything she found with a thick layer of grime on it from improper cleaning and neglect. She wiped down the inside of the every cupboard and the countertops, swept the floor and got down on her hands and knees to scrub all the skirting boards with an old rag she found. After mopping the floor, she took a quick break for a fag as the floor dried and then got back to work scrubbing away at the dishes in the sink, setting everything aside across all the available counter space and the table top. Soon every available space, save for the floor, was covered with pots and pans and other cookware that didn't make it into the dishwasher.

This was the scene that Delia walked in on after her bath. Patsy turned around to see the woman with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing a jumper, a clean pair of jeans, and a thick pair of socks.

'Whoa,' Delia said at the sight before her.

'I know how it looks, but just give me 10 more minutes.'

Delia held her hands up and slowly backed out of the kitchen, Patsy turning back to her scrubbing with a laugh at her antics.

Just as she said, within ten minutes she had all pots and pans dried and hanging back up on their hooks above the stove, the dishes and silverware from the wash stacked up and put away on their rightful place.

Patsy raked her fingers through her hair with a resounding sigh, taking a step back and looking at her work.

'Alright, Delia,' she called to the house, not knowing where the brunette disappeared to, 'it's safe to come in now!'

Delia soon appeared and walked past Patsy, looking around and marveled at the scene before her, 'Pats, if I didn't know any better I'd say you actually iwanted/i to eat off the floor.'

'Well I wouldn't go that far,' Patsy mumbled.

Delia opened the pantry and gasped, 'Wow!' she exclaimed, her eyes growing wide, 'Patsy! My god, this looks so much better! I can find things now!' she gasped, 'Oh my god! Yeast!' Delia said, excited, pulling out a packet of dried yeast, 'I can make fresh bread for dinner tonight! Oh Pats, I could kiss you!'

Patsy was thankful that Delia was so distracted by her impressive organization skills to notice that she visibly stiffened and blushed at her words.

'Where's the flour? I need to mix this and get it proving right away,' Delia said, her eyes scanning the shelves.

Patsy stepped forward and reached over Delia's head, picking up a bag of white flour from a high self and placed it down on the counter.

'There you go,' she said, turning her attention back to the top shelf. She reached up again and felt around for a moment before retrieving a scale, 'you might need this too if you'll be baking,' she finished, placing the scale down next to the flour.

Patsy turned to Delia and could only blink as the brunette looked back at Patsy with a smile and a faint blush across her cheeks.

'What is it?'

'Hmm?' Delia hummed, blinking and shaking her head slightly, 'Oh, nothing!' she laughed nervously, 'Who needs a step ladder when I have you around, Pats.'

Patsy scratched the back of her head. She found Delia's awkwardness rather endearing, 'Suppose I can be of isome/i use in the kitchen, yeah,' she mumbled shyly.

Delia smiled, 'Well, right now you're in the way,' she teased, 'and there's nothing that irritates me more than two people trying to work in the kitchen at the same time.'

Patsy was shocked when Delia grabbed her by the arms and turned her around, gently pushing her towards the lounge.

'Now out with you,' she gave Patsy a light smack on the behind to emphasize her point before turning and making herself busy in the kitchen.

Patsy felt all the hairs on the back of her neck stand up straight and her shoulders hunch, feeling much like a startled cat as she stumbled into the lounge.

Did Delia really just smack her arse?

Every butterfly known to existence seemed to have settled in Patsy's stomach and she had to slap her hand over her mouth to prevent them from exploding out of her as some kind of maniacal laugh that was on the verge of escaping her throat.

Delia did smack her on her arse! And… and the way she was looking at her when she reached for the flour…

Patsy had a hunch and reached for the ceiling, looking down to see her jumper and top rise exponentially to expose her midriff.

Patsy turned scarlet realizing that Delia was…

No. No. No.

Patsy shook her head, her hair falling into her eyes as she calmed down. She pursed her lips and let out a puff of air to blow her fringe out of her eyes as she looked above herself, eyeing the cobwebs and other grime that had settled in the corners for however long the house had been unoccupied.

Patsy blinked, and then nodded her head, resolving to get back to her task at hand and try not to think about the woman in the kitchen.

She fished around in her pocket and retrieved a hair tie and pulled back her thick red locks.

'Hey Pats, did you happen to see-,'

Delia walked in and cut herself off as she laid eyes on Patsy, her gaze immediately on the taller woman's midriff. The redhead saw her looking and blushed, quickly finishing up with her hair before addressing Delia.

'Did I happen to see what?' she asked, trying to look casual as she tugged on her jumper to cover herself.

'Hmm?' Delia asked, blinking frantically and looking Patsy in the eye.

Patsy raised an eyebrow, 'Did you need something?'

Delia looked around confused, a smile suddenly spreading across her face as her cheeks turned pink, 'Um, you know what? I forgot what I came in here for, so I'm just going to, um,' Delia pointed her thumb over her shoulder, 'you know,' she began to turn around and almost bonked her head against the door frame before straightening herself and running back to the kitchen without another word.

Patsy blinked, her jaw slack and she absolutely marveled at the sight, her own face feeling hot as she realized Delia iwas/i actually checking her out.

Patsy shook her head, thinking to herself that, no, still never going to happen.

She couldn't help but roll up her sleeves with a smile, though, thinking that the validation was nice. At least there was someone out there who thought she was attractive enough to almost hurt themselves because they found her so distracting.

Patsys smile only grew, thinking that if anyone out there found her attractive, she was glad it was Delia.

Another hour had passed, and Patsy found herself flitting between the bedroom and bathroom in that time. She made herself busy starting from the top of each room and working her way down, creating that bleach solution she was fond of to rid all the corners of those cobwebs, finally, wiping down all the shelves and counters and tables and windowsills. After ridding the two rooms of grime, she happily swept the wood floors throughout the house, creating little piles of dirt and god knows what else to sweep up and toss out in the rubbish bin.

She saved the lounge for last as it was the biggest room, repeating the steps she took from the other two and started from the top down, her arms reaching up to wipe off all the cobwebs and grime, wipe down the windowsills, and she gave special attention to the bookshelves that were placed on either side of the fireplace, taking time to read the spines of the various books and movies that were precariously shoved together. Patsy put down her dirty rags and began rearranging the books, placing them on the top shelves in order by author, naturally, while the movies were organized on the bottom. She wiped the sweat from her brow and began working on the other bookshelf, expecting more movies at the bottom, but instead she found something that made a smile spread across her face.

A record player.

Patsy kneeled down and saw that there were two small speakers on either side of the player, and on the shelf underneath were two crates, stuffed to the brim of 45's from decades past, all spanning a wide variety of genres. Patsy pulled out the crates and put them aside, resolving to spend some time looking through them later.

Just then Delia appeared in the lounge and looked down at Patsy.

'Ooh, what's that you've got there?' she asked, craning her head to look into the crates cautiously.

Patsy smiled and pulled out a record, displaying it to Delia as if it were a gift, 'They're records!'

Delia gave a disheartening, 'Oh.'

'Ok, well, iI'm/i excited to go through these later,' Patsy said, and she couldn't help but giggle at Delia's disappointment that it wasn't something more interesting to her.

Patsy stood to her feet and Delia reached out and plucked at her dusty jumper, 'Lunch is ready. Go and wash up so I can feed you,' she said as she turned and walked back into the kitchen.

'Delia, we've discussed this,' Patsy said to her retreating form, 'I can perfectly well feed myself.'

Her exclamation went unheard as she entered the kitchen to see Delia happily filling a bowl for her of the previous evenings leftovers, pork shoulder stew.

Patsy grabbed her rucksack and walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind her as she changed out of her dirty, dust covered jumper, socks, and tracksuit bottoms, and slipped on a pair of shorts for the time being, resolving to bathe after she had eaten.

Patsy left the bedroom and joined Delia, washing her hands in the kitchen sink while Delia took their food to the table, the brunette giving an appreciative glance at Patsy's new outfit, which did not go unnoticed by the taller woman. The two sat at the table, and for the second time that day they shared a meal together. It was more than Patsy had done in a long time, and she didn't know if it was the thought of that or the delicious, hearty stew that made her feel warm inside. Regardless, she was happy to be sitting at the table once more sharing a meal with Delia.

'I swear this is even more delicious the second time around,' Patsy hummed approvingly as she sipped her lunch.

Delia smiled as she blew on her spoonful of steaming stew, 'I think home cooking suits you, Pats.'

'Suits me?' Patsy asked, confused.

'Yeah,' Delia smiled, 'You're a hard worker. A good, hearty meal is probably just what you need when you come home at the end of the day.'

Patsy smirked, 'You offering?'

'Keep complimenting my cooking and I just might,' Delia swallowed her bite, 'If you ask nicely,' she added with a wink.

Patsy almost dropped her spoon.

Blushing profusely, she dug back into her meal and the two quietly ate before Patsy had the gumption to try and broach another subject.

'I'm looking forward to going through those records later,' she said, 'looks like there's a lot of variety.'

Delia shrugged, disinterested.

'Oh, come on,' Patsy smiled, 'I'm sure we can find something in there that you like.'

Delia rocked her head from side to side, 'Oh, alright,' she conceded, 'just as long as you find something I can dance to, I suppose.'

'I bet I can,' Patsy said with a smile, taking one last bite of her lunch before pushing her empty bowl away, 'but before that, let's take a look at that ankle.'

'Patsy!' Delia exclaimed with a blush, 'I told you it's fine. I've been on it all day with no problem.'

'If it's fine then let me check and you can dance to your heart's content later,' Patsy scooted her chair to face Delia and patted her lap, 'prop it up here. Let's see.'

Delia rolled her eyes and propped her right foot on Patsy's lap as instructed, meanwhile picking her bowl up from off the table and continuing to spoon delicious stew into her mouth. Patsy slowly removed her sock before cradling the heel of her foot in the palm of her hand. The professional side of Patsy merely meant to check for swelling and redness around her ankle, and she carefully took her two fingers and thumb, wrapping them around her ankle to do just that. Patsy noticed that the swelling that was there two days ago had gone, just like Delia said. She took the palm of her hand and pressed it against the pad of her foot, pushing gently.

'Does it hurt when I do this?' she asked, feeling herself blush for some reason.

Delia put her empty bowl down on the table with a clink and crossed her arms, closing her eyes. Patsy noticed that she too was rather pink in the cheeks. Patsy was going to assume it was due to the hot meal they just had.

'No, not at all,' Delia said, keeping her eyes closed. Her brows were furrowed as if she were concentrating on something.

Patsy took both of her hands now and firmly grasped Delia's leg just above her ankle, gently pulling her fingers and thumbs down over the skin, applying a gentle pressure.

'Still alright?'

Delia giggled shyly, still keeping her eyes closed, 'I'll tell you if it hurts.'

Noting that Delia's eyes were closed, Patsy tucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she took the chance to really gaze down at her foot. She returned to cradling her heel in the palm of her right hand while the thumb of her left hand slowly grazed up the arch of her foot. And what an arch it was. There was something about it that attracted Patsy to it. The aesthetics of it, the beautiful curve that drew her eye upwards to the pad of her foot that seemed to have been sculpted. The skin wasn't too hard, or too soft, just tough enough to know that Delia used these feet. Even the oblong shape of her toes seemed absolutely perfect. Patsy suddenly felt her mouth water, overcome with the desire to take that toe into her mouth and pull on it like her thumb and forefinger were doing right this instant.

Patsy blinked.

She did not have a foot fetish.

That was the thought that flashed through her mind in that instant.

No. She had seen dozens, if not hundreds of feet throughout her medical profession and never once had she been so attracted to one damn foot.

'If you're going to do all that you may as well do the other one for good measure,' Delia said with a smile.

Patsy laughed feebly as she was brought back to the moment. One hand gently grasped Delia's leg behind her knee and slowly guided her right foot back down to the ground while she grasped her other leg and foot with the same delicacy, and placed her foot in her lap.

This was a mistake that Patsy immediately regretted. One quick move from Delia and that foot placed so precariously in her lap could very well slide right between her legs, and Patsy was sure she wouldn't do anything to stop it in that moment. She was so turned on that just the thought of Delia touching her there with her foot had her squirming in her seat, but she clenched her teeth and pushed forward as to not arouse (for lack of a better word) any suspicion.

Mimicking her actions from before, she slowly peeled off Delia's sock to reveal a mirrored foot that was just as perfectly sculpted as the other. The sock was immediately forgotten and fell to the floor.

Patsy grasped Delia's leg with both hands just above her ankle and pulled gently, and Patsy looked up to see Delia's reaction. The woman still had her arms crossed over her chest, eyes closed, her brows furrowed looking as if she was concentrating on something. Patsy couldn't help but notice Delia's cheeks were considerably more red, but otherwise she remained stone faced.

Patsy's attention turned back to the foot in her lap as she once again cradled her heel in her right palm, her left hand coming to firmly pull on the top of Delia's foot, her hand moving around the press her thumb into the arch of her foot and press in and upwards. This motion extracted a strained sigh from Delia and Patsy had to clench her own jaw tight to prevent any kind of noise from escaping her mouth.

Both thumbs now pushed inward and up firmly, her fingers coming to clamp down on and pull gently on each and every one of her toes, each one looking more and more delectable to Patsy as she pulled on them. Patsy wanted to let out a frustrated sigh. Why was she so turned on by this? Why did she want to put Delia's toes in her mouth? Why was the feel of Delia's feet, the shape, hell, even the smell of them, having such an effect on her? She still had no idea, but this needed to end soon or she was going to do something she would regret.

Patsy blinked, knowing enough to realize her desire currently superseded her ability to think coherently.

She took one deep breath, the smell of Delia's feet searing itself into her brain before she cautiously grasped Delia's leg behind her knee and gently guided her foot back down on the floor.

The movement had Delia's eyes opening again.

'Well,' Patsy started, sure as rain that she was the color of a tomato, 'hopefully that makes up for the wonderful massage you gave me last night.'

Patsy clenched her teeth and looked away, mortified and embarrassed that those words even came out of her mouth.

Delia laughed shyly, sitting up in her seat, 'Think that might have been better.'

The two women shared an awkward moment where neither could look the other in the eye.

Suddenly, the two spoke quickly, rising from their seats.

'Well, I'm going to have a bath, then...'

'I'll just tidy up in here...'

'Right.'

The two headed in opposite directions and Patsy didn't exhale until she grabbed her rucksack and locked the bathroom door shut behind her.

She threw down her bag and turned on the water, letting the steam from the hot water fill the small bathroom as she leaned against the door and took deep breaths, her eyes closed as she recounted what had just happened.

Patsy could only think of one thing, the images flashing through her mind in an instant. The shape and look of Delia's feet. The feeling of her skin against her hands. The smell of her.

The smell.

Patsy unconsciously brought her hands up to her face and cupped them over her nose and mouth. She took a deep breath of the scent that lingered there, that smell of lavender lotion and salt that was distinctly Delia's and Patsy felt a painful pulse of desire shoot through her body, her sex throbbed painfully between her legs, and she coudon't resist any longer. Her right hand was beneath the elastic waistband of her shorts in an instant, between her legs and coating her own fingers with the wetness that had gathered there. Patsy clenched her teeth, holding the aching moan in her throat she wanted to let out as she smelled Delia's scent on her left hand, the fingers of her right stroking her hard clit, working skilfully to make herself come quickly. Patsy's mind flashed to those perfect feet again, how they looked so perfect in her hands, the shape of them. She wanted to cradle them in the palm of her hands, bring them to her face, smell them, kiss them, open her mouth and taste them. She wanted to lavish those feet with the attention they deserved, make Delia cry out in pleasure, she wanted to kiss her way up the brunettes leg, tease her with her mouth, through her knickers, smell her, lick her, devour her, make her come with her tongue, make her cry out…

Patsy felt her body tense and come undone, her pussy throbbing, releasing that aching desire in waves that shook her body, had her rolling her hips into her hand as she came. She kept her hand over her mouth to suppress any noise, only allowing herself to sigh as her whole body wanted to let go, release that tension in any way possible. When Patsy's body ceased its quivering, she slowly removed her hand from her shorts, brought her other hand down away from her mouth, and blinked her eyes open. She saw that the mirror had fogged completely from the hot water that was pounding against the wall, blocking her reflection. In a way, she was glad she couldn't see herself in that moment, because it would only intensify the shame she felt for having just done that.

Patsy had taken her time in the shower to really think things over.

There was no possible way it could happen. It couldn't. They were coworkers. She was her superior. She was supposed to be a mentor. Anything inappropriate like that and it would be an HR nightmare. She was ten years older than Delia, for god's sake. The girl might fancy her but she would get over it. She would want to be with people her own age. People who had energy and actually liked going out and dancing and whatever else it was that young people did. Patsy had already lived that life and was not interested in returning to keep up with some young girl. Woman. She was a woman, Patsy chastised herself, and she needed to get into the habit of thinking of her as such.

Regardless, she was still young and off limits. Patsy needed to remember those boundaries and adhere to them.

Patsy blew her hair dry before pulling it back, and she completed her after-shower routine, putting lotion on her face, filing her nails, even brushed her teeth. She didn't see the need to apply makeup so she went without, and dressed in a thermal, jumper, and a clean pair of jeans and socks. She tucked her thermal into her jeans, hoping to prevent anymore sneak peeks at her midriff. If Delia was attracted to her, she could at least try to curb any temptation by keeping herself covered properly.

She left the bathroom after she was fully dressed and collected her dirty clothes, thinking she could continue her desire to clean by running a load of laundry through the wash. Patsy scooped up all her dirty clothes in her arms along with the rags she used to clean and walked them to the kitchen, where she spotted Delia sitting on the floor, sifting through the bottom shelf in the pantry.

Patsy dropped her clothes on the floor and looked over to Delia, who was leaning forward and elbow deep in the pantry scrounging around for something or other.

'I'm going to do the laundry if you want to throw in anything,' Patsy said.

Delia looked over her shoulder to Patsy with a smile, 'Sure, give me a moment and I'll go and get my things.'

Delia turned back to her task and Patsy's eyes unconsciously wandered down Delia's figure, her body precariously positioned to where her shapely bum and thighs were displayed for Patsy to admire through her tight jeans. That painful bolt of desire almost rocked Patsy's body again as thoughts of her earlier fantasies flashed through her mind once more, and Patsy shut her eyes, willing herself to stop thinking about sex and stop objectifying Delia.

Patsy looked down at the very unsexy pile of laundry at her feet and placed a hand on the counter, forcing herself to say something that would distract her.

'What are you looking for?' she asked.

'Well, as I was prepping the chicken,' Delia said, her voice muffled slightly from being so far inside the pantry, 'I realized that I had forgotten all about dessert.'

'Oh?' Patsy asked, 'What are you planning on making?'

Delia grinned and held up two cans of fruit.

'Peach pie!'

Patsy closed her eyes and looked away. Well, she thought resentfully, the idea of inot/i thinking about sex just flew right out the window.

She cleared her throat and blinked her eyes open, Delia now standing and placing the canned fruit on the counter.

'We, um,' Patsy started, desperately trying to think of something to say, 'we have the ingredients for that?'

Delia nodded with a smile, walking through the kitchen to the bedroom. Patsy could hear her list off the ingredients as she asked around.

'Flour, butter, salt, and sugar,' she said as she returned to the kitchen with an armful of her dirty clothes, 'and a bit of water, too,' she kneeled down in front of Patsy and opened the washing machine, tossing her clothes in.

'Oh, I can do that,' Patsy said, and Delia stood to let her throw in the rest of the dirty clothes and cleaning rags. Patsy listened on as she threw in the detergent and started the machine.

'For the filling,' Delia continued, turning and reaching for a mug, 'Peaches, of course, as it was really the only canned fruit I could find that I prefer in a sweet pie,' she said as she placed a teabag in the mug, 'then more butter, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sugar,' she looked to the spice rack above the stove and then looked to Patsy, 'all of which I was able to conveniently find as I see you've marvelously organized the spice rack,' she smiled to Patsy before pouring hot water into the mug.

Patsy shyly shrugged as the washing machine quietly hummed to life next to her, 'It was bothering me that it was all out of sorts…'

'I really am quite impressed with our cleaning skills Pats. Maybe when we get back to London, I could offer you a trade.'

'A trade?'

Delia nodded, 'Your cleaning for my cooking. Goodness knows my flat could use a little love.'

Patsy closed her eyes once more, the word 'flat' triggering something in her brain that made her think inappropriate things all of a sudden, but she couldn't quite figure out why.

'Uh, sure,' she said softly, blinking her eyes open once again and suddenly saw Delia standing right next to her.

Patsy took a step back, 'Um, is there anything else I can help with?' she asked nervously, looking anywhere but at Delia. With the cleaning done to her standards, and laundry running through the wash, she couldn't really think of anything else that was left to do for the time being.

Delia shook her head, smiling kindly up at Patsy as she handed her the mug of hot tea.

'You've done more than enough today,' Delia said softly, and Patsy felt Delia's hand on the small of her back as she gently ushered her out of the kitchen.

'Go and relax,' Delia continued, 'Do something you enjoy. I know you're probably itching to look through those records.'

Patsy smiled, 'Gosh, I had nearly forgotten about those,' she said as she entered the lounge.

She placed her tea on a nearby end table and sat down in front of the two crates of records, her long fingers skimming through them. Her eyes widened admiringly and her smile grew into a grin as she pulled out an old Fleetwood Mac record. She couldn't wait to play it and hear how it sounded on vinyl.

Patsy was so enchanted at the treasures before we that she barely noticed Delia staring at her, the woman looking down at her with her with a small smile, her hand placed on the frame to the kitchen door.

Patsy blinked up at her.

'What is it?' she asked.

Delia smiled back, her cheeks turning pink slightly as she replied, 'Nothing, I just like seeing you happy.'

Patsys heart suddenly leapt in her throat as she watched Delia slowly turn and walk into the kitchen, leaving her alone in the lounge with the records.

Patsys smile returned fully thinking of Delia's words. Her heart fluttered in her chest, and her whole body was humming with affection.

Delia was right. She was happy. She was the happiest she had been in a long, long time, and the thought of that made Patsy bring her sleeve to her face to wipe away the tears that stung in her eyes and threatened to fall.

The sun had long set for the evening, and Delia and Patsy shared another wonderful hearty dinner of chicken and vegetables with buttered bread, Delia joking when she said they would dine like kings while biting into a meaty drumstick. A freshly baked peach pie cooled off on the counter, waiting for them when their stomachs settled from dinner and they had enough room for the delicious dessert. In the meantime, the two women found themselves in the lounge, the room lit with the soft yellow glow of lamps and the warm fire crackling in the hearth.

Patsy lay on the floor on her back, her ankle crossed over her knee, records scattered around her as she pulled each and every one out of their crate and read the jackets while listening to the sweet sounds of songs from her grandparents era; Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, Dion, The Supremes, Leslie Gore, Buddy Holly, among others. Delia sat content from her spot on the sofa, crossed legged under a thick blanket while she knitted a pair of thick mittens for Patsy, the redhead given specific instructions to not go outside until she had finished. She had brought her knitting gear to keep her occupied during the long trip to Aberdeen, but unfortunately forgot when she threw her things in the boot that first day of their trip.

The soft clicking of Delia's knitting needles accompanying the soft music playing from the record lulled Patsy into a relaxed state. The fire was warm, and her jumper was cozy. She was certain if she didn't move soon she would fall asleep right then and there on the floor.

'You know,' Delia started from her spot on the sofa, and Patsy looked over to her as she continued, 'my phone has been dead for quite some time, and I'm starting to realize I don't miss it.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah…' Delia trailed off, settling her craft in her lap and looking out the window. The view was pitch black save for the few white snowflakes they could see falling, 'It's sort of like a radio silence. Away from social media and all that, seeing what my friends are up to on a moment by moment baiss. I mean, it's nice, but for some reason I just… don't miss it. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, you know,' Delia turned and looked to Patsy with a small smile, 'I feel like I'm more in the moment.'

Patsy could only give a reassuring smile and nod.

Delia gave a small laugh, 'You know, with you sitting there listening to records and me here knitting, I almost feel as if we've stepped back in time,' she turned to Patsy with a raised eyebrow, 'Do you think our grandparents spent their time like this? Like in the 1950's?'

'Oh, no doubt,' Patsy said, turning her head to yawn into her hand.

'Oh, none of that now,' Delia said, putting her knitting aside, 'You promised a dance with me.'

'I did no such thing,' Patsy quipped with a small smile and a blush, 'You said you wanted me to find something iyou/i could dance to.'

'Yes, and I fully expect you to participate,' Delia said, rising from her seat and kneeling to join Patsy on the floor.

'You want me to dance with you?' Patsy asked bemused from her spot on the floor.

Delia looked down at her with a smile. Her long brunette hair fell over her shoulder in thick tendrils and caught Patsy's eye, the woman on the floor momentarily frozen and silent with a lopsided grin on her face from such beauty.

'I insist,' Delia said softly.

Patsy took a deep breath and rose from the floor to a sitting position, looking around her at the dozens of records she had spread around her. She hummed to herself as she searched, wanting to find something rather fast paced to try and resist dancing too close for comfort, anyway.

'Here we go,' she said, picking up a record by Billy Vaughn.

She pulled the vinyl out of its jacket, placing it down on the player and slowly laying the needle to the record.

Patsy rose and took Delia's hand to help her stand, 'I assume you know the twist?' she asked.

Rhythmic brass instruments accompanied by a bass and drums filled the room.

The two woman listened to the music for a moment, finding the beat before shyly rocking and swaying in time with the music, their giggles and shy glances accompanying their initial awkward steps.

'Ooh, I like the sound of this song,' Delia said as she interlocked her hand with Patsy's, 'I imagine many of our relatives were conceived to it in the back of a cadillac,' she said with a sly smirk.

'Oh Deels, no need to be crude,' Patsy winked teasingly with a blush.

Delia raised a challenging eyebrow, 'What's the song called?'

Patsy faltered, smirking slightly, 'Raunchy.'

Delia gave a triumphant 'Um-hmm' before allowing herself to be twirled with a slight giggle.

The two women wiggled their hips for a bit in time with the song, giggling as they grew accustomed to dancing with one another before it ended, and Patsy went to change the record.

'Let's jump a decade, shall we?' Patsy said, kneeling to the floor and sifted through the records on the floor to pick up an old 45 without a jacket. She softly blew a thin layer of dust off the record before walking on her knees over to the player and placing it down.

The record clicked and crackled to life and 'Twist and Shout'' by The Beatles began to play and Delia hopped about excitedly.

'Ooh, I know this one!'

'You better!' Patsy said with a smile.

Patsy stood and Delia took her hand, immediately twirling the redhead around, the two women falling into a fit of giggles and shy smiles as they found their rhythm. The women belted out the lyrics together as they danced, Patsy feeling rather silly as she hadn't done anything like this in such a long time, but she was finding that the more she was around Delia the more she could let her guard down and be herself.

The song ended and the record hissed gently over the speakers. Patsy watched as Delia raked her fingers through her long hair, her face flush with exertion as her wide smile showed off those dimples again that more and more had Patsy swooning each time she saw them.

'I want to do a slow one now,' Delia said, breaking Patsy's spell. The redhead looked away quickly and removed the 45 from the player before she kneeled down at the scattered records on the floor.

'A slow one?' Patsy asked, looking through the records, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously, 'Why a slow one?'

'Variety is the spice of life, Pats,' Delia said with her nose turned up, 'Besides, I want to know what kind of dance moves you learned in all those etiquette classes.'

Patsy smiled and shook her head, 'Those were separate lessons, and I certainly didn't learn to dance to any of this,' she said, picking up a 45 by The Flamingos.

'Well you learned to do something, yes? Waltz, at least?' Delia asked with her hands on her hips.

'Yes, but waltzing is different than slow dancing to doo-wop,' Patsy said as she placed the record down on the player. She placed the needle gently down on the vinyl and turned to face Delia.

'Well show me,' Delia insisted, holding out her hands.

Patsy sighed. She could feel her ears turning red as she grasped Delia's hands, placing Delia's left hand on her shoulder as she grasped her right.

'It's a lot like the slow dancing you probably did at school dances and the like,' Patsy said as the song crackled to life, 'you just kind of sway like this,' she finished and tentatively placed her right hand on Delia's hip.

'Wouldn't know,' Delia said as she rocked in time with Patsy, 'I never really had a chance to go to any dances because I was looking after my brothers.'

Patsy sighed, feeling sad, wondering what else Delia may have missed out on because of her responsibilities at home. Unconsciously, Patsy's grip on Delia's hand tightened and she pulled Delia closer to her with her right hand. Her heart skipped several beats as Delia rested her head against her shoulder, and she closed her eyes, willing herself to softly breath in the subtle scent of Delia's flowery shampoo.

'What's this song?' Delia asked softly.

'I only have eyes for you,' Patsy said.

'Yes, but what is the song called?'

Patsy furrowed her brows and smiled down at the cheeky girl as she pinched her nose, Delia merely laughing and batting Patsy's hand away.

Patsy noted that Delia's cheeks looked about as red as Patsy's felt in that moment.

'So is this how you woo women?' Delia asked.

Patsy blinked, 'Pinching them when they're being cheeky?' she smiled as she grasped Delia's hand again and swayed.

Delia shook her head, 'No, silly. Dancing. I bet you have ladies falling over themselves to dance with you at the clubs.'

Patsy smiled shyly and shrugged, 'Delia, would it be hard for you to believe that clubs aren't really my thing?'

'Oh, I suppose not. How about a quiet pub then? Or some back alley coffee shop in Soho where pretty girls play guitar and read poetry on stage.'

'I think that's more scene, yeah,' Patsy smiled.

'Would you like to go sometime?' Delia asked, looking up at Patsy.

Patsy looked back down at Delia, her heart thumping in her chest frantically.

'Go?'

'Yeah,' Delia said, her smile widening to show those dimples again, 'when we get back to London we should go out.'

'Go out?' Patsy repeated, blinking. Was Delia asking her out?

Delia laughed, 'Yes, Patsy! Are you having trouble hearing me?' she teased.

Patsy gave a feeble laugh and hoped Delia couldn't feel her breaking out into a cold sweat.

'But… yes,' Delia continued shyly as they swayed, 'I think it would be fun to go out with you.'

'You think it'd be fun?' Patsy teased, starting to feel tense with Delia in her arms, 'You think I'm fun? Me? Of all the people…'

Delia laughed, 'I think you're loads of fun, Pats!' she said smiling, catching Patsy's eye, 'Do you think iI'm/i fun?'

'Yes, but…' Patsy sighed, unsure of how to derail the woman in her arms when she seemed so adamant about this.

'No buts,' Delia interrupted, 'When we get back to London we'll go out. Just the two of us.'

'Delia…' Patsy started again, her heart sinking in her chest.

'Don't overthink it,' Delia said softly, her smile fading, 'just say yes.'

'Delia, I'm…' she paused, sighing, knowing she was overthinking it, 'I'm sorry. I can't go out with you.'

Delia looked up at Patsy, slightly concerned, 'Whyever not?'

Patsy stopped swaying and pulled away from Delia, removing herself from her hold as the song ended. She nervously bit her lip as she struggled to think of the right words to say, her mind thinking back on all the reasons she went over with herself during her shower. She blushed remembering what had transpired even before that and couldn't bare to look Delia in the eye.

'It just can't… it can't happen,' Patsy said, shaking her head as her gaze turned to the floor.

Patsy quickly brushed past Delia to the record player. She removed the record and placed it back in its sleeve. Delia's eyes followed Patsy's movements and Patsy tried to ignore Delia's gaze boring into her with such an intensity it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand.

'Why?' Delia finally asked, placing her hands on her hips.

'Plenty of reasons,' Patsy mumbled, still avoiding Delia's eyes as she placed the record back in the crate.

Delia placed her hands on her hips and shifted from one foot to the other.

'Like?' she asked, challengingly, raising an eyebrow.

'Well…' Patsy started, turning to face Delia, 'We work together. I'm supposed to be your supervisor. It just… it wouldn't be right,' she finished, hoping that would suffice.

'Patsy, I don't care about all that. I'm completely able to separate my personal and professional life. I certainly know you are, too.'

Patsy shook her head, 'Delia there's a power dynamic we'd have to consider…'

'Power dynamic?' Delia repeated, smirking slightly, 'Patsy we both very well know you're too much a stickler for the rules to give me any special privileges, and I'm certainly not one to fuck up a stable job like this by being careless with my relationships.'

Patsy chewed on her nail nervously, looking to the floor.

'Is that all then?' Delia asked, 'Because if it is, it's a pretty lousy excuse.'

'Delia,' Patsy sighed, growing annoyed, 'you're… you don't want to date me. I'm too old for you.'

'Don't tell me what I want,' Delia said, her voice calm but her expression growing serious, 'besides I think the only person here who has ever had a problem with age is you.'

'Delia, 21 is vastly different from 31,' Patsy said, feeling herself grow angry.

'That's ridiculous. I'm sure you would be perfectly fine dating someone in their 40's,' Delia replied flippantly.

'That's different!' Patsy said terse.

'How on earth is that different?'

'You're young, that's why!' Patsy exclaimed, throwing her hands up, 'You have energy. You're at the age where you should be dating varieties of people and staying out until four in the morning getting pissed with your mates, not be tied to someone older who just wants to stay in and listen to records and be introverted or whatever the fuck else it is I do,' Patsy trailed off, beginning to pace. She was feeling rather agitated by having to explain things she thought were pretty self explanatory.

'There you go making assumptions again without actually asking me anything about myself,' Delia seethed, clenching her fists at her sides, 'Pats, I've been having one of the best evenings of my life here with you and all we are doing is spending it together doing something we both enjoy. I don't need clubs. I don't need to get pissed. If this is a glimpse into what a relationship with you is like, then it's what I want!'

Patsy closed her eyes and turned, raking her fingers through her ginger hair as she walked into the kitchen.

'Patsy, please don't walk away from me,' Delia said, following Patsy but giving the woman space.

Patsy walked the length of the kitchen and placed her hands along the brim of the kitchen sink, her shoulders hunched as she closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. She didn't want to fight. She didn't want to raise her voice, not at Delia, not again, ever. There was frustration and anger bubbling within Patsy that she was afraid would spill over and she would say something she would regret. Why did Delia have to push this? Why couldn't she just accept that they couldn't be? Accept that she could do so much better than Patsy.

'Delia, a relationship with me is something you don't want,' Patsy said as calmly as she could, 'You don't want this.'

'So this is about you then?' Delia asked.

'Yes!' Patsy exclaimed, turning to her, 'it's absolutely about me, Delia, because you're fine and I'm inot/i, alright? You know this.'

'What do you mean iI'm fine/i?'

Patsy brought her hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose, 'You know what I mean,' she seethed. She was growing exceptionally annoyed with the woman's stubbornness and it was taking everything within her not to lose her temper and yell.

Patsy remained silent as Delia stared at her, taking deep breaths through her nose as she locked eyes on Patsy's face.

Patsy sighed and continued softly, 'Delia, I don't know if I'm capable of being a good girlfriend to you… or anyone for that matter.'

'That's complete bullshit,' Delia spat, glaring at Patsy.

Patsy looked back at her confused.

'I know what you're capable of, Patsy,' Delia said, taking a step forward, 'you're absolutely someone who is capable of opening up and caring for someone else... Loving them. I know you can do it, because I've been on the receiving end of it.'

Patsy opened her mouth but Delia cut her off before the redhead had a chance to protest.

'No matter how many times I knock you down, you're going to get back on your feet and make sure I'm taken care of? Hmm? That's what you said to me, isn't it? After I fell and sprained my ankle?' Delia asked rhetorically, tears springing to her eyes, 'and then you ifucking/i did it, Patsy, you stayed true to your word and you fucking did it! You can't stand there and tell me that anyone would have just done something like that. You made a promise and you kept it and showed me that I can trust you, and… and,' Delia swallowed hard, her gaze faltering slightly as she searched for words, 'and above all, that needs to be the stronghold in any relationship, doesn't it? Trust?'

Delia looked to Patsy for some kind of validation, but Patsy was frozen in place, unable to move or speak or even think of anything to say, though she knew the woman in front of her was right.

'I trust you, Patsy,' Delia finally said, and Patsy watched the muscles in Delia's jaw clench, the woman looking as if she was trying not to cry, 'and you trust me. I know you do,' she finished, her voice wavering slightly.

'Delia…' Patsy started feebly.

'No, Patsy,' Delia continued, 'You… you told me about yourself. About your past and let me iknow/i you. Let me understand you. Pats, you let me in and… and,' she said, her clenched fists shaking at her sides, 'I imatter/i to you, I know I do. I know you feel the same way I do.'

'Delia!' Patsy shouted, and Delia took a step back, staring intensely at Patsy, her brows furrowed in anger.

Patsy looked down, shame washing over her as she brought her hands to her face, cupping her hands over her mouth.

Patsy sighed once more. She was coming to realize that she liked the woman a lot more than she wanted to let on. That she wanted to pour her heart out to her and completely and unabashedly love her without reservations, but she couldn't. There were so many doubts that suddenly piled into the forefront of Patsy's mind in that moment. She wanted to be open with Delia but she didn't want to scare her off. What if she liked Delia more than Delia liked her? What if she did or said something that took everything one step too far and Delia turned her away? Rejected her?

Reject her. Of course she would reject her, Patsy thought bitterly. Most of Patsy's life had been spent with her heart being broken over and over again. She had been warped into something that she was led to believe was undesirable. Unlovable. Surely there was no way anyone could grow to love Patsy, especially someone like Delia. Delia was mistaken in thinking Patsy was worth anything. Anything at all. Her attention, her affections. It was all being wasted on her, someone undeserving. She would never be worthy. Never feel worthy. And Patsy couldn't bare the thought of having her heart broken again.

'Delia,' Patsy started gently, hoping her change in tone would help relieve some of the tension in the tiny kitchen. She looked down, her lips turning to a thin line in a scowl, her chest feeling like a hollow shell, 'you can do so much better than me…'

'Pats, don't say that…,' Delia said, looking to Patsy pleadingly.

'Delia, you're just…' Patsy shook her head before finally meeting Delia's eye, 'you're too good for me, alright? I don't deserve you, and above all else, I don't want you to get hurt,' Patsy said, 'and I'll never again be able to live with myself if I'm the cause of it, if I ever again inflict any suffering on you. I don't want to take that risk.'

Delia sighed exasperatedly, 'Pats, that's the point of living life!' she shouted, flailing her arms, 'You have to be brave enough to take that risk if it means in the end you'll be with someone you love, and who loves you!'

Patsy remained silent, unsure of what to say. Her jaw clenched, holding back tears, telling herself that it wouldn't be possible. Loving someone was always a painful experience. She didn't need to go through the heartache again when things inevitably ended with Delia.

Delia shook her head, frustrated, 'So what, we just shouldn't take any chances?'

'Not when the chances aren't good,' Patsy replied.

'How can you say that? How can you even know?' Delia asked, looking to Patsy pleadingly.

'Because I'm ifucked up/i that's why!' Patsy snapped, finally having enough of trying to explain, having enough of trying to tell Delia 'no' and the younger woman not listening. Patsy didn't deserve her. She didn't deserve someone like her. She didn't deserve anyone.

'I'm not iwell/i, Delia! You know this! You've seen it!' Patsy shouted, raising her arms, 'I'm trying to save you from this! From me! You don't want this,' Patsy finished, gesturing to herself, 'You don't want to deal with this! With me! I'm not worth it!'

'Yes you are, Patsy!' Delia shouted, her volume matching Patsy's, 'You don't think I know what it takes?! You don't think I know what it means to make a icommitment/i to someone? My whole life has been nothing but constant commitment for the people I love, Patsy!'

'You idon't/i love me!' Patsy yelled back.

'I could if you gave me the chance!' Delia shouted, seemingly at her wits end.

Something snapped in Patsy. The anger and frustration that had been building up inside her boiled over and her body was suddenly full of adrenaline and energy. She was starting to feel like a cornered animal with Delia standing on the other side of her, glaring at her, yelling at her, saying things she needed to hear but was too stubborn to accept.

Patsy lost control of her temper and lashed out. Growling in frustration and anger, she grabbed a chair from under the kitchen table and threw it across the room. It clamored noisily against the hardwood flooring before sliding to a halt against the wall.

Delia turned her head away and stepped back, but once the noise abided she looked back to Patsy with fierce eyes.

'There's no way you'll ever scare me with one of these temper tantrums, Pats.'

Patch clutched her head, her eyes squeezed shut, her heart beating frantically, panicking. She needed a way to escape this. She needed a release. She needed to calm herself the only way she knew how but there was no way in hell she was going to do it in front of Delia.

Patsy opened her eyes and took quick strides across the kitchen, heading to the bathroom, the only room in the house she knew had a lock on the door. She wasn't expecting Delia to leap forward and block her path.

'No you don't!' Delia yelled as she grabbed Patsy's shoulders, halting the taller woman in place, 'You're not doing it Patsy! I won't let you hurt yourself!'

'Delia, let go of me!' Patsy pulled back, struggling to free herself.

'No!'

Patsy heaved all her weight against Delia and pushed her away, striding past her, but Delia grabbed Patsy by the arm, pulling her back.

In one swift motion, Delia pushed up the sleeve of Patsy's jumper to her elbow, brought her arm to her mouth, and sank her teeth into Patsy's arm.

Patsys eyes shut tight as she released a strained cry, her knees giving way to the pain as she knelt to the floor, feeling weak, all the adrenaline seeping out of her body as Delia clenched tight. Only when Patsy was sitting on the floor with tears streaming down her face did Delia let go. She released Patsy's arm from her grip and fell to the floor on her knees next to Patsy.

Delia placed both hands to the floor in front of her and bowed her head, her brown hair falling over her shoulders as she caught her breath.

'If you need pain to release stress, fine,' Delia said softly, looking back up at Patsy as heavy tears rolled down her cheeks and dropped off her chin, 'but it'll only be by me. By imy/i hands. You need to come to ime/i first if you feel this way, and ask for my permission,' she demanded, her voice fierce even though it was shaking.

Patsy looked back at Delia, stunned. Her jaw hung slack as she caught her breath, her energy returning to her slowly as tears silently streamed down her face. She looked down at the fresh bite mark on her arm. It was throbbing in pain, and Patsy could feel herself relax a little more with each pulse, feel herself calm, the raging storm inside her settling.

Patsy felt conflicted. Let iDelia/i do this to her? How could she possibly keep a promise like that? How could she possibly keep herself from biting when Delia wasn't around? She didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep. She didn't want to do anything more to hurt Delia so long as she could help it.

Though, Patsy thought, it would hurt Delia even more if she continued on like this. Doing this to herself. And she didn't want that. She had earned Delia's trust and she wanted to keep it. Patsy had said that this was one of the few things in her life that she had felt like she had control over, but she was willing to give it up. To hand it over to Delia, to give her that control.

For all she knew, if she placed this responsibility on Delia, it might break her of the habit once and for all.

'Ok,' Patsy breathed, swallowing a heavy lump in her throat as she nodded, 'Ok.'

Patsy blinked through her tears and looked Delia in her eyes, which were that gorgeous crystal blue that only appeared when she cried. Patsy hated herself for it, for making her cry yet again, and was drawn to reach out and comfort Delia. To do something, anything that could convey her feelings without having to say anything. She didn't have the words anyway.

Patsy reached up slowly, her hands shaking slightly as she tenderly wiped Delia's tears from her cheeks.

'I'm sorry,' Patsy said, scooting closer to Delia and leaning forward, pulling her into a tight hug.

Delia wrapped her arms around Patsy's shoulders and held her just as tight, tucking her head into the crook of her neck. She sniffed and wiped her tears against Patsy's jumper.

'I'm sorry,' Patsy said again, finally feeling her breathing steady, her whole body calm as she held the smaller woman in her arms. Her fingers found their way through her soft hair and lovingly ran their way through the long strands, tucking thick locks behind her small ears.

The two remained on the kitchen floor in a tight embrace for several moments, Patsy gently comforting Delia by running her hand over her back or through her hair while the smaller woman sniffed and hiccuped her tears away while her face was buried in Patsys neck, nuzzling against her as she wiped any rogue tears away on Patsy's jumper.

Soon, Delia's grip on Patsy loosened and the two women slowly pulled away from one another.

Patsys hand came to rest on Delia's cheek again, her thumb gently wiping away another stray tear as she sighed.

'Delia, I'm sorry I lost my temper,' she said softly.

'Pats,' Delia started, resting her hand over Patsy's as she leaned into her touch, 'it's alright,' she said softly, 'it's alright.'

Patsy gave Delia a thankful glance before she stood and helped Delia to her feet.

Still feeling rather drained from the loss of adrenaline, she concentrated on her breathing while walking over and picking up the chair she had thrown during their argument, placing it back in its rightful place under the kitchen table.

Patsy raked her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before turning to face Delia again.

Delia was looking back at her with sad eyes, looking as if she was going to cry again. Patsy tucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she walked over to her, the feeling to comfort Delia became overwhelming and she fought her urge to second guess herself and decided to just once and for all take the leap and reach out to Delia.

Patsy stood close to Delia while the smaller woman reached up and brushed away a tear from Patsy's own cheek, Patsy catching Delia's hand with her own before Delia had a chance to pull away. Patsy closed her eyes and breathed deeply, feeling the soft, yet firm skin of Delia's hand against her cheek, leaning into it before she kissed the palm of her hand. Her nose slowly grazed along the sensitive skin of her wrist before she kissed her there, too. Her heart fluttered in her chest when she heard Delia give a shaky sigh.

Patsy only barely opened her eyes so she could see Delia's reaction, the brunette looking back at Patsy with half lidded eyes, her cheeks pink, her lips parted slightly. Patsy thought they looked rather inviting.

'Delia,' Patsy said softly, 'I do like you.'

Delia smiled and wrapped her arms around Patsy's shoulders, the taller womans hands instinctively resting on Delia's waist.

'You know, this morning when I woke up, I wanted to reach out and hold you,' Patsy said, one of her hands coming to gently bush the fringe out of Delia's eyes, heer fingers tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears again.

'Why didn't you?' Delia asked, her eyes searching Patsy's.

Patsy took a deep breath, 'I was scared… that you would wouldn't want me to. That you would turn me away.'

'I wouldn't have,' she whispered, 'I won't, Patsy. I won't ever turn you away. I want you to hold me,' Delia emphasized her statement by tightening her grip around Patsy's neck, pulling her down for a tight embrace. Patsy's arms wrapped firm around Delia, her hands gently stroking the smaller woman's back as they held each other or several moments, standing there in the kitchen of that little house.

Patsy breathed in deep and the smell of Delia's lavender shampoo filled her senses and had her feeling quite relaxed. Delia's body pressed against and wrapped up tight around hers had Patsy feeling warm, and safe. The close proximity to Delia had every nerve ending in Patsy's body come alive and awake and it seemed as though Delia's body was responding in kind.

Patsy closed her eyes and willed herself to turn off her brain, to stop doubting herself. It seemed so right in the moment to do so and give in just a little, to not overthink things and let her body guide her instead.

A sigh from the woman in her arms while fingers intertwined in Patsy's ginger hair only encouraged her to gently nuzzle her nose against the length of Delia's neck, her lips grazing over the shell of her ear before kissing her softly there. Delia sighed again and tilted her head slightly to give Patsy more access. The taller woman breathed in deep again, lightly grazing her nose over Delia's temple, placing soft kisses along the length of her eyebrow and on the bridge of her nose.

Patsy opened her eyes only slightly so she didn't miss when she finally pressed her lips against Delia's. Tentatively at first, growing accustomed to kissing someone again as it had been a long time for Patsy. She pulled away and pressed her lips to Delia's again, more firm this time, waves of relief washing over her as Delia seemed very receptive to all of this, to her touches, her kissing. Patsy didn't know it was possible, but she felt Delia press her body even more against her, becoming flush with her. She felt the smaller woman stand on her toes to push her mouth even more firm against Patsy's, and Patsy held her tight so she wouldn't stumble.

Patsy sighed when she felt Delia gently pull on her bottom lip, urging Patsy's mouth open. Patsy relented and both women let out a soft moan as Delia's tongue pressed against hers, the sensation leaving Patsy feeling a bit weak in the knees.

Patsy pulled away slightly, catching her breath. This unfortunately seemed to break whatever spell Delia was under and the brunette opened her eyes, looking up at Patsy concerned.

'Everything alright?' Delia asked, gently placing a hand over Patsy's heart.

Patsy breathed, giving a lopsided smile, 'It's… everything is fine, I promise,' she leaned down and gave Delia another sweet kiss, cuping Delia's head in her hand as her lips sought Delia's cheeks and eyelids, pulling her closer as she placed kisses along her jaw and ear, extracting happy giggles from Delia.

'It's just… this is all so unbelievable. I feel like I have to sit down,' Patsy said.

Delia gave a laugh, reaching up to cup Patsy's face in her hands and tuck her hair behind her ear.

'Believe it, Patsy, please…' she said softly, smiling, 'There is nothing more I want in this moment than to be kissing you right now.'

'I'm sorry for being difficult,' Patsy said, looking to Delia pleadingly, hoping her expression would convey she was being genuine.

'Hush,' Delia said, stepping away and clasping her hands with Patsy's. She brought them to her mouth and placed soft kisses on her knuckles.

'I want to kiss you all night,' Patsy blurted out, feeling free to finally speak her mind.

'I certainly wouldn't say no to that,' Delia said, grasping a handful of Patsy's jumper and pulling her down for another kiss. The two women giggled in each others arms when they pulled away.

'Do you still want to go out on a date with me?' Patsy asked.

'Absolutely,' Delia said, licking her lips, 'and you know, I don't think we need to wait till we get back to London to have a proper date.'

'No?'

Delia shook her head, 'We've already had dinner and dancing this evening,' she looked over to the stove where the peach pie she had made earlier was sitting, certainly cooled of enough to devour by now, 'I think it's time for some dessert, and a movie, if you like?'

'You want to watch a movie with me?' Patsy asked, her heart fluttering as their hands interlocked between them.

'Well,' Delia began, looking rather mischievous, 'what I really want is to be wrapped up in a blanket with you in my arms while I feed you pie and kiss you all night long. I hardly think I'll give whatever movie we choose any attention, honestly,' she said, wrapping her hands around Patsy's waist as she looked up at her, 'I just find you much too distracting, Patsy.'

Patsy felt her ears turn red at Delia's words.

'Really?' she asked, giving a rather silly lopsided smile.

'Absolutely,' Delia grinned, showing off those dimples that made Patsy's heart flutter, 'If I'm not kissing you then I'm certainly thinking about kissing you. It's been driving me mad all day, honestly,' Delia whispered, and Patsy watched as a blush feathered across her cheeks.

Patsy bit her lip, feeling so happy.

'Can I tell you something?' she asked.

'What's that?'

'You have had me similarly frustrated these past two days,' Patsy said, her eyes looking to the ceiling, trying not to think of how Delia's hips and bum looked in her tight jeans, and failing miserably. She felt her face grow hot, but smiled when Delia shyly tucked her head into her chest, the two falling into a fit of giggles as they wrapped their arms around each other gave gave one another a sweet, tight embrace before Delia finally released Patsy and took a step back.

'Come on,' she said softly, moving to grab one fork out of the drawer while Patsy walked to the counter and took the entire pie in her hands.

The two walked back to the lounge and settled in on the sofa after deciding to forego movie watching as they wouldn't give it the slightest attention anyway. Patsy wrapped the two of them in the throw blanket as Delia insisted Patsy lay against her. So, Patsy shyly settled in against Delia, the brunettes legs on either side of her just as they were the day before in the igloo. Patsy could barely believe her evening ended up this way, her snuggling against Delia as she was spoon fed delicious peach pie, the brunette happily chatting on about home and the mittens she was making for Patsy and whatever else came to mind. Patsy didn't care what she talked about so long as it was making her happy.

As dessert was set aside the two women settled in more on the sofa. Patsy turned her body slightly so that she could wrap her arms around Delia and rest her head against her chest, her ear pressed against Delia's heart. Patsy closed her eyes and happily breathed in Delia's scent, listening to the smaller woman's heartbeat as she embraced her.

Delia lazily placed sweet kisses on the top of Patsy's head as her fingers stroked her red hair, tucking strands behind her ear, the sensation sending pleasant shivers down Patsy's spine. The two fell into a comfortable silence, the only noise in the room being the crackling and pops of the dying fire in the hearth across the room. Patsy sleepily gazed at it as she hugged Delia tighter, not wanting to let her go, not wanting this evening to end.

Patsy could feel herself being lulled to sleep, and just before she closed her eyes, she felt Delia gently grab her arm, bringing it to her mouth so she could place a soft kiss on the spot where she had bitten Patsy earlier.

Patsy looked at her arm, the bite still a red, half moon shape in her forearm that had only just stopped hurting.

The two women shared a look, a silent acknowledgement of understanding that the mark on Patsy's body by Delia was done as a service from Delia to Patsy, the mark left behind clear evidence of that fact.

Patsy took a deep breath as Delia let go of her arm, the redhead securely wrapping it back around Delia's body as she nuzzled her head against her chest once more, thinking that the mark looked as if it was already starting to heal.