On the Edge of Wakefulness, Part 2
Chapter 42
Got something precious here. Didn't think it likely, didn't think it possible, but … got something nested, covered with feathers, twigs, with the brush of the crawling wood where I exist, where I live. Wrested his spirit from bloody claws and fangs wet with a killing hunger. Would've eaten that boy alive. That … boy. Got something irreplaceable here … breakable … is that a crack I see? Is that a chip I see? Got somethin' … here.
"Téa?"
"Oh thank god … where are you?! What's going on?! Is Jed with you?!"
"Stop talking and I can get a word in—"
"Where are you?!"
"That you don't need to know … but I have Jed. He's okay I think."
"You need to bring him home."
"We're gon' stay put. Just … uh … need some time …"
"What? No, no, Todd, listen to me—"
"I'm keeping him."
"I'm just off the phone with Bo Buchanan and they're not liking how you disappeared. That doesn't help Jedediah, and you want to help Jed, right?"
"I'm helping him by staying put."
"He's been through a lot, I'm sure… right? And you know, better than most people, that when you go through tough things it's better to be in a stable place? Todd? He needs to be home … come on, amor."
"Amor. I like the sound of that. Floating into me, inside of me."
She's quiet suddenly. So quiet.
"Todd..."
It's more a question than a calling.
"He was locked up, safe, in the most stable place ever, and that motherfucker still got to him—"
"Which is why you have to bring him home!"
"I don't trust anyone, not a soul, not even you, beautiful, perfect you. So … I need time to make sure everything's... cool."
"God damn it!"
"I see the truth, the rightness of it. I see through the illusion. Don't be mad at me."
"Mad?! I'm not MAD! Todd, be reasonable! He's a CHILD, he needs to be looked over—please, dear god, please bring him home..."
Home home home she keeps saying home. I can only whisper-dream the idea of home. Where is… home?
"I can't. Things are… anarchic, Téa, they are chaotic, twisted, corrupted, and yeah, he is a child, a boy, jus' a boy like a bluebird egg, breakable, crushable, so he has to stay, but but I … uh … I love you for what it's worth and love you more for what you do for him, for this, for your 'god damn it' and your 'amor.'"
She breathes the softest 'oh my god' and then it's quiet and I know she's putting her head down, fingers curling on her cell, and she's falling into an angry restrained ball of fury. She's beautiful in her frustration and sadness and worry and mad-as-hell. I can hear city noise. She's walking somewhere and I'm in borrowed rooms on a borrowed phone and funny how I memorized her number like a prayer and I wonder if she's on Sixteenth Street, too, if she's at the fire's border, if she's looking at the flames, and I wonder if she sees hell like I do.
"You can't do this. I hear you. Todd, you are not okay…"
"I'm on my feet and … there's a night sky outside my window about to puke stars all over the place and I think the world's gonna end like that, but I know different. I know the sun's gonna come up in the morning and it's gonna wipe out that starry mess and … uh … I'm taking one breath after the other … and I'm lookin' at Jed sleeping … and he's all in one piece and … not everyone gets out of hell all in one piece … but … he did. He did."
"Please come home."
The phone drops from my fingers into its little nest and I end our talk and I shiver with her righteous plea because it's full of amor, love! I press my cheek against the memory of her delicate, sugared hand of a voice but the pressing doesn't last because I want to lie across my find, my Chantish rare treasure, I want to protect him. I need to protect him.
Just...me.
Two conspiring shadows whispered as they gazed out the window, pointing here and there every other moment. Dusted red light from the street skated along the insides of the small space, round and round, the only light in the darkened room.
Jedediah stared at the whipping red a while, not sure where he was, not sure whether the man and the woman—that much he could tell— were enemies … or friends. A sudden wave of fear overwhelmed him and he curled up under the blankets, finding himself shaking wildly. He almost groaned aloud at how sore he was, all his muscles. He backed up hard, backed into the wall behind him, because he'd need leverage to kick out, to fight, because he wasn't just gonna let this fucker kill him. He just wasn't.
Shit, shit, shit.
He couldn't control the shaking though and he whimpered, a short fast noise but it was enough.
The man turned around to look.
Oh shit…oh no...
Jed's heart raced and so did his breathing as the ghostly image moved closer and closer. He was featureless in the dark of the room, the red lights revealing nothing because it lit him only from behind. The walk was deliberate and threatening. He was so sure it was a Phillip-flunky who approached, put here to make sure Jed wouldn't leave, wouldn't escape. He was so damn scared, wishing he could make it all go away but it wasn't gonna go away, was it? He was breathing hard, tightening his muscles, his hands curled into fists now, because he was going to fight like hell.
A hand pressed against his cheek—not harshly—and Jed shot his fist out and growled, "Don't even think about it. I will fucking kill you." They didn't know what was coming. They were going to be damn sorry.
The person withdrew and exhaled softly as he knelt down, beyond Jed's reach. He wasn't moving away. Just a blackish blob a foot away, obviously staring at Jed. And then… nothing happened. No smacks, no replacing of handcuffs, no intrusion … nothing. Seconds ticked past. Before Jed could make another threat, a soft-voiced comment came from the shadowed man.
"He hurt you …didn't he?"
Jed knew that voice. He moved his fist close to his chest and squinted, trying to see the man's face but it was too dark. Then the red light hit another wall, shifting in position. And this time when the red whipped around, it illuminated the sides of the shadowed man. Holy shit. Jed shook his head, disbelieving the sight in front of him, and couldn't find his voice. It was Todd kneeling right next to his bed, Todd that had been at the window, Todd who put a warm hand on Jed's face.
"You can tell me what he did," he said.
Jed glanced towards the other person in the room, by the window. He returned his gaze to Todd, taking in the terribly worried expression on his face. He rasped, "He hit me, if that's what you mean."
"That all?"
"Isn't that enough?"
"Hell, yeah," Todd said quietly, "tha' motherfucker."
For some reason, the cursing made all the dreaminess go away. Leather-straps of fear slid off and … wow … Jed realized he was safe. Oh God, here he was, tucked away in Todd's own untamed world, high up in the clouds where things looked different, tasted different, behaved against all expectation.
Bony foxes dig in teeth, tear away thick furred skin and expose an ugly, rotting heart. They eat it … savage it.
They didn't say much more as Todd looked Jed over. Studied him. He stood tall and mussed Jed's hair, unsmiling, a strange paternal action. Strange because they didn't have that relationship. Memories shifted into place at that, Jed remembering being someplace dark, wet and cold. Words poured over him like smoke from dry ice, floating, unformed. Where were they from? Who said them?
You just sleep. Think angels and planes and freedom. Dream your dreams. Float like that, live like that. This ain't nothin', it's not real.
It was a real remembering. But hazy. A dream. Just like the voice told him. He remembered the dank smell, the sliminess beneath his skin. Trembling nervously, he pushed the blankets down and noticed unfamiliar clothes that were slightly big on him: a plain black tee and soft, worn sweats. The scent of soap permeated the room and awakened his desire for a hot bath. It sounded so good to him. He wanted to wash Phillip's world off of his body. He remembered all the crazy shit Phillip had been doing. He kinda felt like they'd been done to him. He instinctively rubbed at his arms, at his belly. Shuddered.
Jed looked past Todd, now recognizing Brandy's petite frame. She stared out the window meditatively. The lights from fire engines or cop cars most likely were what swept the plain furnishings occupying the single room. Jed turned and looked at the wall next to his bed. The walls were covered with black curvy writing.
"Where are we? What place is this?" Jed asked, trying to make out the painted words to no avail. A light flipped on next to him and he squinted at its surprising harshness. Todd's glassy eyes met his. He was high. Jed had already heard it in the way he pronounced his words, in the raspy sound of his voice, but … that made Jed feel weirdly safe because, well, this was definitely Todd's world and not Phillip's. Thank the gods for that.
"I thought I was gonna die," Jed confessed under his breath, working not to cry out of sheer relief. God, he felt like such a little kid.
"You were in hell, tha's for sure, fuckin' hell."
Jed regained control, sniffling, distracting himself from Todd's visual hold of him with the writings which had became clearer in the yellowish light.
They read, Zephaniah, Zephaniah, Zephaniah, evil shall be vanquished, a worm on a hook — writhe my dear, turn, my dear, as you await your punishment, hahahahaha God will prevail! The Lord will prevail as will I.
It continued on that way … on and on … psychotic ramblings, reminding Jed of a creepy movie he once saw. But it was okay. He looked back at Todd and felt better. It's okay, he told himself. Things will be okay.
"And where are we now? What place is this?" he asked again.
Todd cleared his throat having forgotten Jed's original question. Rubbing his chest absently, he gave the room a once-over and muttered, "Belongs to a friend of Brandy's. Too many cops so we buzzed over here but … we're not far … jus' a building over. We needed … um … " He drifted at that. His eyelids dropped a little and he rubbed his lips with the back of his hand. Then he came to a little. Glanced down at Jed.
"You hungry?"
Jed nodded, "Yeah … I guess so." Things had seemed so hopeless. He had pretty much kissed off all hope of surviving Phillip just before the smoke. He had gotten to the point where he had said goodbyes. Todd turned to go, except Jed grabbed him momentarily by the sleeve of his rough sweater.
"You got me out of that place, didn't you? You got me away from him."
Todd sniffed, ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek, "Yeah."
"You're a real superhero," Jed said, "just like Superman."
"Nothin' like that."
As Todd walked away, Jed added in a louder voice, "Yeah you are … and you got the kryptonite and everything."
Todd hesitated. Brandy looked at him and laughed, saying something for the first time, "That's right, baby, you sure do got that kryptonite… never thought of that before."
"Whatever."
Jed shoved the covers off him the rest of the way, sitting a moment to get his bearings. Couldn't stop shaking though. Todd was at the sink and dumped what looked like hard-boiled eggs into a dish. Ran the water over them. He watched the water a while, got lost in the fall.
With some trepidation, Jed said, "I don't care what you say. You saved me. Can't get much more heroic than that."
He listened to Todd peel the shells off the eggs as he ambled to a small dining table. He slid carefully onto the chair, turning towards the kitchenette.
"Eat," Todd grumbled as he placed the dish in front of Jed, pointed to some salt and pepper on the table. Whispered, "Superman, that's me all right."
Jed eyed him."You are."
"You're more fucked-up than I am to be thinkin' that."
"No way, nope. I know the real thing when I see it." He sniffed knowingly, sprinkling the food with the pepper, then the salt. Added in a dead-serious tone, "Two foxes … small things … ripped apart that big old bear. Killed him."
The red flashing lights seemed noisy in comparison to the weighted quiet that settled in around the place. Brandy got up after some time and stood behind Todd, poked her head out from behind him. She said, "That was just a dream, baby boy."
Jed took a bite out of one of the salted eggs. He raised his eyes and looked at both of them, "Right. Just a dream."
"All that shit Phillip gave you - just a fucked-up druggie dream," Todd said.
"So, I guess I better stay in hiding. 'Cause he could come after me … again." He knew he was safe, he felt it, knew he didn't have to hide. There'd been a lot of blood. The bear clawed and growled for his life, except he had no chance against those wild, snarling foxes.
Brandy said softly, "That's right."
"Or are we in hiding to see if the cops are gonna come after you for killing Phillip?" Jed took another bite. And another.
The quiet continued. Todd then said, "Yeah, hiding. I'm not trustin' anyone with you. 'Specially not the cops … or hospitals. None of tha' shit."
"What about Téa? I want to call her … we got kinda close… she needs to know I'm okay."
Brandy's face fell and she shook her head, wandering away. Todd followed Brandy with his eyes and said softly while still watching her, "I talked to her already. She knows you're with me and she knows you're okay."
She sat at the window again and Todd eased himself into a seat next to Jed who munched away on the little food, Jed interrupting the simple meal by drinking milk straight from the carton. He licked his lips and asked, "So … what? We just hang out here?"
"I dunno."
"How long can you stay in hiding? I mean …" He sighed, his eyes drawn instinctively the sleeves of the sweater, "you're still using. You're totally on right now. I can see it. I can hear it. You're gonna have to go coppin', right? No way you have a month's supply of shit here. Can't do that without getting caught I think 'cause they might be looking for you. Because of me. I mean … at what point is it gonna be another kidnapping?"
Todd didn't answer, glancing over at Brandy instead. She shook her head, straightened up. Waved her hands as if giving up on some unspoken argument. Todd shrugged, "I dunno."
"Kryptonite," Jed murmured, chewing. "You saved my life and that means something pretty great. But… you're all… fucked-up."
Todd almost laughed. And he rubbed his face with a hand to cover it up. God, his kid was something. Jed… was still JED. And that meant that… nobody crushed him. That his mind, soul, and body, were basically intact. Resuming a sharp-as-he-could-possibly-make-it gaze on Jed, Todd said, "It means... he didn't have a right to do what he did."
"Okay. Just saying you … uh … could've stayed at Brandy's and … uh… forgotten about me. Just coulda stayed and gotten high instead of swooping in and rescuing me. That tells me that the drugs … they're not everything to you."
Oh the look on that boy's face. It ran straight into Todd's gut. He glanced down and could swear to god, he was bleeding like a stuck pig. The shame and truth of things bubbled up and oozed outta the hole Jed had made in him. This kid…
"Shut up, Jed," he said softly. "Can we talk about drugs later? I think you're more addicted than I am."
"I want to talk, " he answered, barely sounding it out. He had his hands in his lap. "I need to talk."
Todd bit down on his teeth and his features pinched in indecision. He shrugged, started to talk but pulled back. He finally looked directly at Jed, at those terribly accusing hazel eyes, same color as his, same shape, but oh-so-innocent. Still. "I'm sorry," he said at last. "It's my fault you got into juvie. My fault. I know that. I wish I could take it back … what happened that day, I wish I could take back my whole fuckin' life." He smiled sadly and reached out and caressed his boy's hair, thanking god the kid didn't flinch, that he wasn't scared of Todd. "You didn't ask for any of this. Not to lose a mother, not to be raised by people who didn't give a damn about you. Wasn't fair for you to find out that I'm … uh …um..."
"A drug-addicted, psychotic, ex-con, ex-rapist with a temper from fuckin' hell who treats every person he's ever loved and who's ever loved him... like shit?"
Todd nodded, a devastatingly sad smile on his face, and said softly, "Yeah. You didn't ask for me."
"Damn right I didn't. But there's nothing you can do about who you are… unless you want to do something... about things you CAN change."
The room hushed and Brandy said, "Looks like they're clearing out another place …"
"What's going on?" Jed asked, eyes not really leaving Todd.
"A huge fire, baby boy," she answered. "People is running scared …but it's proper."
"I want a bath."
Todd glanced over at the bathroom and hesitatingly eyed Jed, saying, "I got somethin' in there."
"I won't touch anything. Besides, I'm too …" He put his head down on folded arms and felt Todd placed a hand on his shoulder.
"He really is gone, Jed. He's not ever comin' back and he's never gonna hurt you … never again."
All Jed could do was nod his head, understanding exactly what Todd was admitting. Finally. Jesus, it had been no dream. The pictures might have remained in a fog, but their message was plain as the brightest day: Phillip Manning had been killed, brutally and righteously.
"Superman," Jed choked, Todd not letting him go, Todd holding onto the boy's arm. Taking a breath, though, Jed pulled away and wandered to the bathroom, taking one last look at Todd before shutting the door.
Recognizing the leap of faith Todd was taking, he roved the countertop, spotting the goods all laid out. A couple of crisp bags of dope, a couple of syringes, one used, a streak of blood on the floor. Jed turned the water on in the tub and sat on the covered toilet. Spread his legs and bent to clean the blood up with a tissue. Careless. He lifted himself up and dropped the tissue into the water before sitting back down again. Not sure what he was going to do now. Run again? Stay with Todd, hide out with him? Maybe get closer to this virtual stranger. At least Téa … and he hoped, Summer, too, at least they knew he was okay. At least, he hoped they did. He hoped Todd hadn't lied.
For all his Superman-ness… Jed didn't trust him as far as he could throw him.
He heard a knock and grunted, "Come in."
Brandy smiled from the cracked door, "There anything you want special to eat? I'm sure those eggs weren't nothing…"
"Nah, they were fine. It's cool …"
"There's some soap in the cupboard for ya'. And a couple of towels."
"Thanks," he said, smiling weakly. The door clicked gently. He grabbed the soap and got undressed. He looked down at his body and saw a lot of bruising. No wonder he was sore. He slipped into the hot water, the drug paraphernalia still within sight, like a sign of the future. Phillip was an easy kill in comparison to Todd's massive junk habit. He sunk lower into the water, tentatively relaxing. He kinda understood though. Jed had his own habits. He ran and he smoked pot. Those things … they were his addictions and they had him bad. Even now … even with all this safety and all what running got him … he had serious thoughts of opening the front door and hitting the goddamn road.
He breathed in the steamy air, but found he was still too nervous to let go of everything. He was afraid of what was outside the door even though he knew Todd was there. He didn't like that he couldn't hear what was going on out there. The scum of captivity sticks to a person like sap, tar, but the bath helped, being here, helped. The syringe caught the light of the overhead bulb and inspired him to guess the order of events. Maybe … Todd saved Jed, came here, dumped Jed into the bed and then shot up? Or maybe he shot up then rescued him from the grip of Satan. Or maybe … he shot up, killed Phillip, rescued Jed, and shot up again when he got here. All in a day's work.
Shaking his head at the absurdity, at its obvious truth, he said in a soft voice the bottom line of this whole nightmare, "Holeeeee fuck, Batman, I got away. Ha!" Soapy, glistening bubbles reached his lips and he puffed at them. "Got away from that fuckin' asshole. I'm invincible! HAHA!"
He shot his hands up in mock victory and made the raspy sound of a cheering crowd …
"Nah … WE'RE invincible," he whispered.
The thick smoke got lost in the night sky, a brilliant blaze beneath that danced to its own music before a captivated, powerless audience. The last of 2300 Sixteenth Street moaned and groaned in agony as the water rained down in an attempt to end the fiery cabaret. It was mesmerizing. It was hopeless.
Téa watched from a balcony seat, from the rooftop of the stories-tall mission. She was tired. Numb. She was quietly terrified for Jedediah, for Todd. Jed's okay, he said, I'm on my feet, he said. But he was as sick as ever. He was obviously high, half his mind talking to her, half in a dream. She could hear it in his crazy words, and scratchy voice.
My god.
She let Bo know, Vik, too. They're okay, she said. And then flew into lawyer mode, instinctively assuring them Todd was in hiding, in a secure place, too afraid for Jedediah's safety after the ineptness of Llanview PD to keep that boy safe, and she could not disagree with that assessment.
She made herself sick. What the hell was she thinking?
Jesus CHRIST.
Returning her gaze to the dazzling show, she felt an odd kinship with the disintegrating building, certain connections, concerns, hopes … seemed to have wafted away from her. Drifting away.
Kevin Buchanan at the Banner had been the first person Téa sought out because she knew the Llanview P.D. would be useless as information providers. The cops were too busy and honestly, they didn't care about some wayward bastard son of Todd Manning's. Didn't care about Todd either or his "hooker girlfriend," as she heard someone snigger in the department.
No denying, newspaper men have ways of getting information fast and furiously and she wasn't disappointed. Kevin had a guy with an ear to the ground and he let Téa and Viki know right away that the building had no known occupants left, that its few residents had been evacuated along with the residents of the rest of the block. The fire department then had the tough job of getting the blaze put out before it lit up the entire Sixteenth Avenue district, a very real risk.
Then she'd heard directly from Todd and passed on the information and everyone seemed to breathe easier. But the fire took on a different light, the cops now viewed it, 'suspicious.'
"It's a miracle, don't you think?"
She recognized the voice, the soothing, thoughtful voice of Kyle and it made her smile albeit sadly. "Tell me the miracle," she asked.
"Nobody killed or hurt so far. That's a pretty nasty fire."
Turning around, she studied Kyle's features, and remembered where this man had come from, recalled his rough upbringing in a series of unfortunate foster homes. She wondered if the abuse he endured rivaled what Todd went through and realized what an antithesis his life was to Todd's, how opposite his had turned out despite the similarities of their childhoods. He added, "Pretty amazing you heard from your ex-husband with Jedediah in tow. But then it's not a surprise is it? The kid's sort of … scrappy, isn't that right?"
"A little like you, I suppose."
"Maybe."
"… but when it comes to evil … even scrappy, tough-skinned things have a hard time surviving."
He took a place next to Téa and watched the wild popping flames for a while. "You love that boy," he said, "How wonderful for you, and him."
"He grew on me. But don't think I didn't fight it. I have a way of getting attached to Todd's children." She paused. "Children from other women, needless to say. What's that about? Why am I always getting left with his abandoned kids? With the wake he leaves as he rips through his crazy life. I'm worth more than that, Kyle!"
Kyle said beneath his breath, "Of course you are."
"Then give me a 'why.'"
"Providence."
"It does seem that way. But for what end?" Something in the way he said it, caught Téa between two currents of thought. If an event is or series of events are predestined, what part of it is predestined? The fighting of it or your acceptance? Is her role to turn away, to turn off the path seemingly laid in front of her, or to proceed onwards?
"That's the fun part," he smiled gently, "figuring out the puzzle of God's plans. I believe, though, that you shouldn't really question what you've been given. I mean, in your situation, you've received a gift. That of two children in your life. And I believe a person should embrace those kinds of gifts … no matter the route to you."
Jedediah had indeed been a gift, as Starr had been. It had been so long since she saw that little girl, that face which was such a blend of Blair and Todd. How her name fit her. How she shined with such energy and and curiosity. Téa wondered how she fared without her father around … wondered how Blair was handling the situation, then she sighed and watched the fires again. She had been cut-off from Starr, Blair's insecurities cut her off. A part of the building fell in, sending an incredible burst of sparks into the air visible even from this distance. A gift of total beauty in the midst of total destruction.
She suddenly thought of the gifts Todd had given her, the gifts that kept her hanging on to hope for him. Like his ironic and understanding of who she was, something she'd sought her whole life. She thought of the moments of connection they'd shared recently, and understood those moments were the beginning of real love. Crazy, nonsensical, illogical, love. The hospital room had given them a space to let it actually grow.
Even as far away as he was now … she could feel him pleased at her battle with him, on the phone earlier. She thought of herself on a cliff, grasping to a disintegrating rope, saw him dangling beneath her, a weight that she needed to release to save her own life … but she couldn't cut the rope. What kept her straining against the forces of wind, banging against a rocky cliff, never able to do it? The way he looked at her, his hope that with a little time, they'd both make it to safety…?
Can you feel the pull of life and death, Téa? The cutting wind that takes your breath away, can't breath in all the way, can't breathe out, the stretching of your muscles as you hang on, the scraping of your palms against the ropes. Memories pass through you as you contemplate your end, practical fancy as you wonder what you will focus on during the fall. Will it be your fear while heading toward earth or the spectacular view from this amazing height?
Reality hit her and she held onto that. Got logical. Presented Todd to Kyle as if she was normal … routine. Average.
"All Todd has wanted since I've known him was to be free from pain. I thought I could be his drug of choice. I thought my love could save him. I thought I could ease all his hurt. Instead, he brought to me a hurt that never existed before. Such a raw deal."
"Don't forget his children, those gifts."
"I don't …"
"But for him, you never would have known those kids. Your life would be less without them."
"Maybe I'd have my own."
"Providence, Téa."
She laughed … and it felt sort of good. "Kyle … have you ever been in love?"
He squinted his eyes in thought and looked at the fire a while. Then nodded, "Yes." Smiled, "Don't laugh, now."
"That sounds like an invitation. Spill it."
"A nun."
Téa laughed as she'd been invited to do, asking, "Do tell, my dear friend!"
"Oh Téa … she had beautiful golden hair that fell in her eyes … spun gold … she worked to keep it beneath the modified habit. She'd blow at those errant locks during mass to get them off her face, like an angel, lips pouting as she puffed the sweetest breath … she was so NOT meant for service and I loved her for it. I ached to touch her …"
"What happened?"
"I broke tons of rules … I'm still trying to make up for it. She came for confession one afternoon, face-to-face, and right in the middle of it, I kissed her. What a mess." He rolled his eyes, still bearing the traces of the memory on his lips … the smallest of grins.
"Oh, I'm sure a broken heart too."
"Oh yeah, scandalous. She was wonderful, though. She promptly left the Church for good. I'm sure she's doing all kinds of delicious living, with a husband, kids … or maybe backpacking through Europe wearing a backwards baseball cap. Seeing everything the world has to offer. Tasting it all."
"What did you do?"
"I knew where I'd always be. Right here … doing good works … loving my God."
"Providence, huh?"
"Providence."
The flames died down after some time, after much conversation between Kyle and Téa about life, about the future, about the past. She stood at last and stretched her arms, studying the night sky. "Puking stars," she sighed before turning to her friend. "I'll be at the needle exchange tomorrow afternoon. I've got court in the morning. I'm going there, not to escape … but to just work."
"You feel better about things, then?"
"I'm infinitely glad that Jedediah is away from Phillip Manning, for now, and despite where he is, I can breathe."
"It's nice to see you living, Ms. Delgado-Manning."
"Thank you, Mr. Kyle-Sir."
"I'll look for you in the afternoon."
"Indeed."
She quickly headed down the stairwell and finished her descent using the mission's beat-up elevator. When she hit the streets, she breathed in deeply the cool night air and could smell the smoke from the destroyed building. She made her way to her car and climbed in. She sat for some moments and realized that while she might not have cut off the dangling weight that Todd had been to her, she felt a new ability to take in the dazzling view of the horizon, felt an ability to appreciate the gilded cage she lived in for him … the prettiness of the unlatched hook, the security of knowing the limits in her life.
When she got to the Penthouse, she removed the extra key that Todd had placed beneath the mat. Because while she might open the door for him, he'd at least have to knock first, he'd have to warn her before tearing into her life again and that was 'okay.'
Early the next morning, her slumber got interrupted by her cell phone, the rings too loud, too invasive. Bo Buchanan responded to her groggy, "Hello?"
"Téa… sorry to bother you, but I thought you'd want to know … human remains have been found in the wreckage of the burned-out Sixteenth Avenue building and based on circumstantial evidence, we believe they belong to Phillip Manning. Dental records are being shipped to us …"
She was almost speechless. "Christ, that was fast," she finally blurted.
"We had some ideas that maybe … Todd had something to do with the fire because of where'd he'd last been seen. We have a reliable witness. Anyways, we figured we'd find something. Didn't waste any time getting into the place."
"So what are you saying?"
"Not anything concrete at the moment, we're not sure it's a homicide … but … if there was a fire, I have to wonder, why? If this was some kind of self-defense … why cover up with a fire?"
"Thanks for letting me know."
"Well, I wanted to give you the heads-up. I'm sorry about the tension with Manning - but …"
"Don't worry … I understand. Do what you have to."
I'm on my feet and … there's a night sky outside my window about to puke stars all over the place and I think the world's gonna end like that, but I know different. I know the sun's gonna come up in the morning and it's gonna wipe out that starry mess and … uh … I'm taking one breath after the other … and I'm lookin' at Jed sleeping … and he's all in one piece and … not everyone gets out of hell all in one piece … but … he did. He did.
Tossing the cell phone aside, Téa collapsed back onto the pillows, checking the time. She had to be in court no later than nine a.m., at the needle exchange by three … at least she'd been forewarned.
To be continued...