Chapter 11

It was still dark when I woke up to the sound of static ridden music, and I wondered why in the hell Bella was listening to the shitty clock radio before I realized I was hearing her sing in the shower. The song was a familiar one, which is why I thought I was hearing the radio, but I couldn't place it.

A quick glance at aforementioned shitty clock radio told me that it was 3am, and I wondered why Bella didn't wake me if she couldn't sleep. Who was I kidding though, I could tell her so, but I doubt she'd do it. She'd just let me sleep while she was bothered by something all night.

Though bothered isn't the word I'd exactly use right now. When I made out the lyrics to the song she was singing, I grinned.

When my days look low
Pull me in close and don't let me go, make love to me
So when the world's at war, let our love heal us all
Right now, baby, make love to me
Me, me, me, me
Oh, make love to me

Hey, I don't know much about guns but I
I've been shot by you, hey!
And I don't know when I'm gon' die but I hope
That I'm gone die by you, hey!

I got up and went to her, standing in the doorway to the bathroom and listening as she sang about us.

I don't know much about fighting but I

I know I will fight for you, hey!

Apparently I wasn't being as incognito as I thought, because the shower curtain slid aside and she held out a hand for me and kept singing.

Just when I ball up my fist I realize

I'm lying right next to you

Baby, we ain't got nothing without love

And darling, you got enough for the both of us

I stepped in the shower with her, the hot water feeling almost as perfect as Bella's arms around my neck as she continued to sing for me.

Ooh, make love to me

When my days look low
Pull me in close and don't let me go,

make love to me

So when the world's at war, let our love heal us all
Help me let down my guard
Make love to me, me, me, me, me

She trailed off and I realized I had been rocking us slowly to the music.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked, picking her up just because I could. Her legs automatically wrapped around my waist and I hugged her close, resting my chin on her shoulder. She shrugged. "Tonight just seems like one of those nights I'm not going to sleep all the way through."

"You're not having nightmares are you?" I asked, stiffening.

"No," She said casually, "I'm just… wired."

"You're supposed to be sleepy after hot sex, Bella." I teased. "Clearly I'm not doing my job well enough." And then I balked a little inside, hearing Emmett's voice in my head taunting me about shitty sex, the fucker.

"I could always work some more of that energy off." I suggested lightly, pulling back and watching for a reaction with held breath.

"Yeah?" And damn if she wasn't as much of a horny fucker as me because she grinned and shut the water off and said simply "Okay."

We dried off, kissing and giggling like two idiots, and Bella pulled me by the hand back into the room and over by the bed.

"Wait, let's try something else this time." I stopped her, then folded the thick hotel blanket up and piled it in the center of the bed, then laid pillows on top of it until it looked like a ramp leading off the side of the bed. I pulled Bella over and said. "Want to try it? It won't be laying flat on your back so… maybe?"

She smiled at me, and leaned back against the pillows without hesitation. I'd piled the so high she was halfway between sitting up and laying down. She bounced back against it, and when it didn't flatten, she crooked her finger at me.

Fucking shit, this woman.

I bent over her, careful not to put any weight down, just in case, and kissed a trail from her lips, to her neck and down, stopping to suck on those perfect nipples of hers for a long while before moving downwards still. I was kneeling, placing opened mouthed kisses just south of her belly button when she started shuddering.

"Tease." She breathed when I looked at her.

I smirked. "Oh, no Baby. I fully intend to follow through." And I did. Twice, just because I was fucking paranoid she wouldn't cum during sex this time either. I rolled on the condom, inside out this time, and had to rip it off and grab another one while Bella giggled. Finally, we were protected and I pushed into her, both of us sighing when I was mostly all the way inside. "Sore?" I asked Bella, moving slowly, just in case.

"Not yet, you can go faster."

"If I do, you'll definitely be sore tomorrow Baby, don't you think?"

"Worth it." She grunted, eyes rolling back in her head when I thrust in deeper this thrust.

"Good?" I slid all the way in again and she gave a high pitched whimper and answered "God, yes."

Thank fuck. "I want to try something." I told her. Something that I'd gotten from my dirty librarian porn, but I was keeping that bit to myself. I reached down and lifted both of her legs over the crook of my arms, but I forgotten to take into account how fucking short she was, and when I straightened, she was pretzeled the tiniest bit. "Too much?" I asked. She shrugged and suggested. "Try it."

Fine, smartass.

I thrust experimentally and groaned. She was tighter this way, and I waited for her to tell me if I was hurting her, but she just said told me "Harder."

I thrust, hips jerking a little harder than I meant to and she moaned with me this time. "Like that." She writhed, eyes wide. "Shit. Just like that."

Fucking yes, she was going to cum this time if it killed us both. I pounded into her, gripping her hips when her ass started to sink back down towards the bed. God she was making me hornier, even while I was already inside of her, letting out these short breathy screams every time I pumped into her. Already we were both covered in sweat and it didn't take long at all before her screams grew louder. "I'm- gonna- come!" She squealed between her pants and screams, fists gripping the sheets tightly.

I laughed breathlessly, fucking triumphant. "Hell yes you are!" I grunted, feeling her pussy quaking around me. "Oh, God. So fucking tight. Jesus." I dropped her right leg to dangle, lifting the left one higher. Her legs were too short to drape over my shoulder at this angle, so braced it against my chest, holding on to it with one hand, her ankle by my ear while I braced the other hand on the bed beside her, leaning over her and pounding furiously.

Fucking shit, the scream she let out.

"Oooooooooooh, Edwaaaaaaaard!" She wailed in a higher register than I was used to from her lower voice. It was fucking glorious.

I continued to hammer my hips, watching beads of sweat run down her breasts that I couldn't reach to lick just yet, when I felt my balls tighten violently and so suddenly that I hadn't known it was coming.

No, damn it! I slid my hand down her sweat dampened body and roughly squeezed her clit. With my other hand I squeezed her right breast, rolling her nipple between my fingers.

She screamed bloody murder as her orgasm hit and her pussy clamped down like a vise just as I came hard as fuck. I felt a small squirt of wetness just above my dick and stared down, stunned, even as I continued to pump into Bella, who was still falling apart. I was watching when the second wave came, and I started grinning. Couldn't help it. When she was finally finished, I stood there, still grinning and feeling like the manliest of men to ever fuck.

"You look awful proud of yourself." Bella panted, squinting at me and still trying to catch her breath.

I turned my head and kissed her calf before I let her leg down, crawled over her, and kissed her forehead, nose, and neck since she still couldn't breathe. "You fucking squirted." I told her giddily. She stared at me, wrinkling her nose. "I what now?"

"Squirted." I repeated. "Ejaculated."

"I did not!" she protested. Like it was a bad thing. "Oh yes you did, Baby." I motioned to the space a couple inches above the base of my dick where the evidence lay. "I watched you do it."

"Jesus." She put a hand over her face and stared up at the ceiling.

"Do not be embarrassed." I ordered. Because that would work, right? "It's hot as fuck, and means you came your brains out."

"I did cum my brains out." She said, looking up above the bed. I was about to crawl into bed with her when we heard the faint sounds of wall thumping and moaning coming from the other side of the wall. Apparently we'd inspired the neighbors.

We stared at each other for a moment before we both collapsed into laughter. "Oh God, do I sound like that?" She choked out.

I pulled her to her feet so we could go shower the sweat off and give them time to, ahem finish. I think that was the dude moaning all high like that though. Or maybe it was two dudes, I don't know.

"You sound like every great fantasy ever when you scream." When she was on her feet I lifted her up and kissed her briefly. "I kind of live for it now."

I'm quite proud to say that when we got back in bed, Bella dropped like a fucking rock. She was in a stone cold coma and snoring softly before we finished saying "I love you."

And she never snored.

Who's got shitty sex now Emmett, you bitch?

Nobody could tell me a thing right now as I lay on my back, one arm folded behind my head and the other holding my baby close. I felt a brief twinge of regret as I thought about how rough we were, and how sore she might be tomorrow. I thought about drawing her a bath in the morning and taking one with her, but I didn't really trust hotel germs. We might both catch the Clap if we sat in that tub.

Maybe I could buy some candles when she wasn't looking and set up a bath for her once we got home. If we didn't get lectured to within an inch of our lives first. Mom kind of knew we were leaving though, so it's not like we snuck out. But we did turn off our phones and stay out all night. Whatever, they knew I would never let anything happen to her so we'd be safe, wherever we went.

And that was the last thought I was going to give that. Bella was cuddled up to me naked and safe, and snoring peacefully, despite having had to see her mother again, and that let me know that I'd made the right decision in offering to get her the fuck out of there. She'd even sang to me, which, coming from her, was just as fucking huge as having sex. I would have zero regrets about the way we'd finished off our Christmas. None, whatsoever.

What felt like only couple hours later, the stupid alarm clock blared, waking me from the deepest sleep I'd had in a long ass time. Startled, Bella's head shot up, and then she groaned.

"Do we have to?" She moaned, stretching against me like she always did when we woke together, but it was a hell of a lot more fun when she was naked. "Not if you keep rubbing against my dick like that." I said, voice thick with sleep as her ass brushed against my morning wood.

"Well, in that case." She rubbed against me again, this time deliberately pressing so thoroughly that I could feel how fucking hot her pussy was. "Bellaaaa." I pleaded, easing a hand down her front to feel with my fingers.

Fucking soaked.

Jesus.

"You're sore." I said, trying to be reasonable, though my damned fingers had a mind of their own and teased her clit. "And we have to check out of here in an hour."

"You can make me cum before then, can't you?" She breathed, manipulating my hand with both of hers. Who was this and what the hell had she done with my girlfriend who blushed when I kissed her?

God her morning voice was sexy.

When she eased two of my fingers inside her and rode them, I knew I wasn't going to be able to talk myself out of here without fucking her again, especially after she said "Nope, not that sore. Please Edward?"

Well… God knows when we'd get a chance after this.

I threw the blanket off of us and started piling it up. "Why are you so hot first thing in the morning? That shit's just not fucking fair." I stood by the edge of the bed and grabbed her by both ankles. "Get your sexy ass over here."

I fucking knew I should have told the hornball 'no' this morning. As I parked the truck in the Capitol Mall parking lot, I watched her face contort in pain when she slid out of the thing before I could help her. I sighed, frustrated with myself for giving in.

"You're hurting." I pointed out blandly, coming around to her side, petting Lola behind the ears as she tried to launch from Bella's arms to me. "We can go home Baby; Olympia isn't going anywhere."

I swear to Christ, she pouted. Actually pouted. "I just want a Cinnabon, and then we can go."

"Bella."

"Please?"

I sighed again, and fished the keys out of my coat pocket and handed them to her. "Get in the truck and turn the heat on. I'll get your cinnamon bun and be right back." She squealed, way more excited than I think a cinnamon thing warranted, but I decided not to rain on her parade when she yanked my head down and kissed the shit out of me. Her free non-puppy filled hand snuck under my coat and shirt and rubbed a path from my sternum to the waist of my pants. We both moaned.

I glanced around to make sure no nosy fuck was watching before I quickly slipped my hand down the front of her sweats and shorts and palmed her pussy, purposefully sliding a finger through her folds as I removed my hand. She whimpered a little, and I kissed her forehead before opening the door for her. "Okay, Hornball." I gave her a boost. "In you go. I'll be right back."

I hadn't though to ask if she wanted a plain one, because apparently they had ones with pecans in them, so I got a 6 pack of each and hightailed it the fuck out of there.

When I got back to the truck, Bella was listening to the radio and singing again, but the best part was Lola who sat at her side, howling along. I climbed in and handed Bella the bag, she stared at me, wide eyed as she took it. "You're seriously the best boyfriend ever." She said, and then we were off.

The ride back to Forks went entirely too fast, but it that wasn't the only reason the two trips were like night and day. Bella was… a fuck ton giddier than I'd seen her yet. Maybe she finally believed me when I told her I wasn't going back to let her be sent back to Arizona, and she was a lot freer. She sang the whole way home, where as before she never even hummed around the house, happily tearing into a cinnamon roll and making sex noises. "God, so good." She moaned, tearing a hunk off and feeding it to me before I could gripe at her about making me horny when I was driving.

Shit though, these things were good. We shared one of the plain ones and one of the pecan ones as we flirted, and snarked and joked, with her hand feeding me pieces, and me licking the frosting off of her fingers. It was like a road trip, and way more fun than riding with Alice who always went to sleep and left me with no one to keep me company.

It was just after 2:30 when we made it back to Forks, and as I drove Emmett's truck up through the back gate, I held Bella's hand in mine and said to her. "Best Christmas Ever, right?"

"Best Christmas Ever." She agreed.

"You're happy, so that's all I care about. Forget whatever bullshit anybody else has to say. As long as you and I are happy in all things concerning you and I, we're good, right?"

"Right." She said, still grinning that happy smile as she leaned over and pecked me on the corner of my mouth. "Thank you for keeping your promise. It means a lot to me to know that I can get away from her if need be. That I have options. That I have you. It's such a huge load off."

"Of course I kept my promise. And any time you say the word, we'll go. Just that easy." I parked the truck and drew her into my arms before we went in to face the music. "I love you, Bella."

"Love you too, Edward."

And of course there was music to face, but not as bad as we were expecting. We walked into the back door hand in hand, and my parents were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for us.

"Thank God. I thought you were coming back yesterday!" Ma rushed up from the table and squeezed the hell out of us both. Then she snatched my beanie off my head and walloped us both on the ass with it. "Don't scare me like that again!"

Bella was brave and hugged the crazy woman, but I kept my distance. "I'm sorry Esme. I asked Edward to go. I thought I was going to be able to deal with her, but I just couldn't."

Ma, who was dressed in pajamas with pin up girls all over it, pulled us both into another hug. "It's okay. At least I knew you were leaving. Next time though, text me and let me know if you aren't coming back!"

After we groveled sufficiently for worrying my mother, she sat us down and fed us the Christmas Dinner she'd put aside for us. My parents continued to sit with us though, and while Dad still hadn't said a word, Ma was watching us as if she was considering and appraising us. I didn't bother to get too comfortable, I knew they weren't done with us yet.

"You know, your brother was even more worried than we were." Mom said slowly after a while.

"Emmett? Why? He knew we were leaving, we switched cars."

"Which I'm assuming you did because Emmett's truck is old and there wasn't a GPS in it for me to hack?" Dad said, leaning back in his chair and looking put out. "You didn't use any your debit card or any of your emergency credit cards and you disabled your phones. I had no way of knowing where you were or if you were okay?"

I stared at Dad for a second, unsure what to say. "I didn't think you would be that worried, I'm sorry Dad. I only disabled the phones because they wouldn't stop ringing and those were the only chargers I forgot to bring because I leave one in my car and I didn't think about the fact that we took Emmett's. I wanted to have some battery left in case there was an emergency."

"Fair enough." He nodded. "I saw your chargers in your rooms. Next time though, send your old man a text and let me know you're alive eh? Even if I had pinged your location, I wouldn't have tracked you down. You told your mother you were coming back and I believed you, but we just need to know you're okay."

"Okay," I agreed. Feeling only slightly guilty, but still not regretting our decision to go. "I'm sorry."

"Quit apologizing," Ma leaned over and ruffled my hair. "I'm just glad you're both safe. Just text us next time, okay?"

We both nodded silently, and Dad turned his bright blue gaze on Bella. "And how are you, Dear? Charlie took Renee to the airport this morning, so she should be back in Arizona by now."

We could see the last little bit of tension drain right out of her, as if she had been expecting Renee to pop up at the house again and make a scene at any second. "I'm good," She smiled, and I was glad to see it was the same happy smile from this morning.

"It was important to me, knowing I could leave a situation where I couldn't help being around her. It really helped a lot. But I am sorry I worried everyone and that we missed the end of Christmas."

Carlisle stood and stretched, holding a hand out for Esme. "No hard feelings, eh? It clearly did you some good, so I can't be too upset. Come, love. I think we both need a nap."

And without anymore fuss, they left us. Bella exhaled a deep breath. "That wasn't as bad as I was expecting." She said, grinning sheepishly at me. I smirked, and leaned over to whisper in her ear "That's because they don't know what I spent half the night and morning doing to you-OOF!" I laughed, taking the fist she'd whacked into my stomach and kissing her fingers. "Love you too, Baby."

The next week and a half of winter vacation was pure perfection. It was nothing but lounge clothes, Netflix marathons and pre-recording a shit ton of videos for our channel. Bella even played piano and sang in about 6 videos she'd recorded by herself. She was nervous about them though, so we scheduled them to start uploading a couple weeks out so she had time to change her mind. I thought she should leave them though. I even suggested she start her own channel to post just singing on, but she said this felt like she was contributing more to ours, since we split the next AdSense check equally as well. I didn't fight her on it, because I kind of liked having a couple's channel that sometimes we both posted our individual ideas on.

We enjoyed those near two weeks of vegetable bliss, and then it was time to go back to school.

Fucking yay. Not.

BPOV- February

I may as well say I lived with the Cullens now. I didn't hear from Dad, and he didn't come to see me either. It hurt in that I was disappointed I didn't get a relationship with him since the one with my mom was so bad, but Esme and Carlisle more than made up for it.

Right at this moment, I was grateful for it, since it was Esme who sat with me while I nervously fiddled with my phone while we waited for me to be called back to see the doctor. I knew it wasn't going to vibrate any time soon though. Edward was mad at me.

I'd had a bit of an… incident this morning.

Everyone was getting ready for school when Esme came up to bring Alice a box of tampons I supposed she'd asked for. She then stuck her head in the doorway to my room and asked me I needed any. With a frown, I realized that I hadn't had a period since I'd been in forks, and I went into an instant panic. Esme had had to catch me and pull me away from the dresser because I'd almost given myself concussion number 3.

When Edward heard the commotion, he came running, like he always did, but I'd pulled away from him and asked him to please go. I couldn't look at him, and worse still, I couldn't stand the weight of his concerned gaze on me. I felt so… dirty. Tarnished and embarrassed.

The look on his face was horrible. I'd hurt his feelings, and it was all over his expression. But how much worse would that look turn if I was pregnant with that sick creep's baby?

Dear God, please no.

Esme, thinking maybe I was pregnant with his baby, had pursed her lips and asked him to go to school, she would talk to him later. The garage door had slammed behind him.

After twenty minutes of trying to help me calm down and catch my breath (Esme wouldn't let me have my Ativan) I was pseudo calm enough to tell her that Edward and I had had protected sex, only not since Christmas. But then I had to explain to her about the… the assault and my skipped periods.

"Bella." She tried to assure me. "Surely you would have gotten some other symptom by now, been vomiting, gaining weight."

"Maybe I'm one of those people who don't get sick the whole time!" And then I added, in a horrified wail. "I have been gaining weight!"

"Isabella, shhh." She sat on the floor with me, rocking me and trying to console me, but I was well past consolable, and I was petrified. "You've been eating better, Sweetheart. It could be that simple. Maybe we should just get you checked out, just in case, okay?"

So she'd pulled some strings and got me squeezed in today, and here I sat, miserable and terrified and embarrassed.

Please, God, no. I prayed again.

The doctor had said she didn't think my hymen was broken, but what if she'd been wrong? Or what if it was partially broken? Could that happen? And I don't know how long he was actually… inside, because I had been unconscious and I wouldn't let anyone talk to me about it afterwards.

Stupid, Bella.

I felt sick, and judging by the disapproving looks I was getting from the older women in the waiting room, I'm sure I looked as crappy as I felt, and they probably thought I was pregnant.

Maybe I was.

I wanted Edward.

I thought about texting him, but what would I even say? Nothing I could say in a text would be good enough, and this wasn't exactly something I wanted to explain via text anyways. But I needed to hear anything from him, even if it was in anger, so I sent just two words.

Me

I'm sorry

"He's going to hate me." I whispered, another tear falling before I could wipe it away. Esme put her arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "Oh Honey, he won't hate you. He'll understand Bella. We're going to pray it's not true, but if it is, Edward will know, just like I do, that's its not your fault."

My phone vibrated in my hand, and I stared at it, nauseated, before I was brave enough to open the message.

Edward

Are you okay?

I debated on what to answer with, and then settled on the truth.

Me

No

Edward's responses were practically instantaneous after that.

Edward

Baby…

(…typing)

I'm coming home.

Me

Don't. Not there, went to the doctor.

Edward FaceTimed me, and in a moment of panic, I hit Decline.

Shit. Why did I tell him that?

Edward

You're scaring the shit out of me, pick up!

I declined another video call.

(…typing)

Damn it, Bella please!

I called him back, sans video, because I didn't want him to see all the vagina anatomy and baby posters, and he picked up before my end had completed one ring.

"Bella! Are you okay?"

"Um-"

"You're crying, I can fucking tell. Are you in the hospital? Did you pass out? Did you hit your head? I'm coming up there."

"No, don't. I'm not hurt."

"Then what happened?"

"I don't- I can't… Can we talk about it when I get home?"

"You swear you're not hurt?"

"I promise."

"And you're not sick?"

"I don't know? I mean, I don't think so."

"Baby… are you sure you don't want me to come up there?"

"Isabella Swan?" A nurse called my name from the doorway. Oh, Hell.

"No, stay in class. I'll see you after school. I have to go now though; they're calling me back."

"…okay." He definitely didn't sound happy about it. "Bye. I love you, Bella."

"Love you too. Bye."

As soon as I hung up my phone, Esme's started ringing, and I could hear her behind me while the nurse led me to an exam room.

"Edward, she's fine, I promise… Because she's upset… Yes. Edward, I told you she's not hurt! We'll see you at home."

All the while, I sat.

God, I wished the doctor would hurry up. My anxiety was getting worse the longer I sat closed up in this room, but just thinking about an actual exam made it worse too.

Jesus.

Finally, an older lady with salt and pepper hair walked in and shook our hands, very perfunctory and to the point, while the nurse hovered in the corner. "I'm Dr. Denali, but you can call me Carmen. What can I help you with today, Isabella?"

"Bella, please. And I… um, I." Fuck, my chest was starting to hurt.

"Breathe Bella," Esme rubbed the back of my shoulders and addressed the doctor while I concentrated on taking deep breaths.

"Bella was sexually assaulted in October. She hasn't had a period since then, so she's concerned."

Try freaking the fuck out.

They stared, and I realized I'd said that out loud. Esme raised an eyebrow at me and muttered something about spending too much time with Edward.

Dr. Denali questioned me about my anxiety, since my pulse, according to the nurse was 102, and then asked me a bunch of questions about my periods, and I had otherwise been sexually active. Then came my favorite part… they needed blood.

I turned my head as far as I could without moving my arm for the nurse. "Scared of needles?" She asked me. "No. The poke is perfectly fine, but if I see the blood, I'll pass out."

"Ah, got it."

Thankfully she was flawless, and when she'd told me I was all done, there wasn't a drop of blood to be seen anywhere.

Then she and the doctor stepped out and I had to put on a paper gown, which only ate up 2 minutes of the 21 that it was going to take to get the test results.

As I sat, bare butt on the paper covering the table with the stupid gown on and a thin sheet covering me, my hands started to shake and I couldn't help but to stare at the clock.

"Stop that." Esme came and sat next to me. "Whatever it is, Bella, if anything, it'll be okay. None of us are going anywhere."

"He's going to be so mad." I whispered, crying again. I was getting really damned tired of crying.

"Not at you Sweetheart."

"He'll be hurt too."

"Maybe, but it's not going to change the way he feels about you. And that's if there's anything to worry about in the first place."

We waited another 24 minutes past the 21 we were initially told it would take, and finally the nurse, Tanya walked back in…

…wheeling a big machine with a screen on it that looked suspiciously like a damned ultrasound machine.

Esme's hand flew to her mouth and I whimpered.

Oh God.

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

I stared at the machine, horrified, even as the image of it warped and wobbled.

Dr. Denali's voice sounded far away, even as I watched her distorted form walk into the room beside that damned swimming machine. "Tanya, I told you to wait for me!"

I shook my head and tried to clear it, but that just made everything worse. The sound of rushing water filled my ears, and just like clockwork, the airless, breathless feeling started, and the feeling like I was swimming in jello. The voices became even more warped, like my ears were full of it.

I couldn't breathe.

Can't breathe. God, I can't breathe. Can't breathe.

Someone hugged me, squeezing me tight, and then something bit me on the arm and blackness engulfed me.

AN: I'm sorry for the wait guys. My grandmother had to be moved to hospice a couple weeks ago, and then she passed in the midst of Hurricane Harvey and everything has just been…. Horrible. I wanted to change some of the things I wrote, but I also wanted to upload since these chapters were already done and I don't feel much like writing at the moment.