Chapter 16

BPOV

Edward and I held hands as I tried not to fidget under the glaringly bright studio lights or stare out at the who knows how many people sitting beyond the cameras. I was nervous enough sitting one couch away from the ever famous Jane Alec, long time host of Hello America.

"Breathe kiddo," she whispered to me kindly, seconds before a man with a headset on began a count down. "And we're live in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.."

"Hello, America!" Jane smiled at the camera, just as gorgeous and exuberant as I remembered her. "I'm here this Valentine's Day with two people you may or may not have seen and heard of this weekend, though if you haven't: I don't know where you've been because these two have been going Viral since Saturday evening and many are saying that they broke the internet after New York's first annual TubeCon convention for YouTube creators. Please welcome Edward Cullen, and Isabella Swan!"

The crowd clapped and cheered, while I tried to smile, feeling like I was in danger of losing my breakfast at any second.

"Oh, wait!" said Jane once the crowd quieted, starting the line of question we were warned about, just as we were told it would be brought up. "It's Isabella Cullen now, because you two got married at TubeCon am I right?"

"We did," Edward answered easily as we all turned slightly to look behind us at the blown up picture of us kissing after our wedding ceremony on the screen, Edward dipping me dramatically. The crowd 'awwww'ed, as did Jane, and footage of the ceremony started to quietly play.

"Now before we get into all that, you two are YouTubers? What kind?"

"I run a channel where I talk about my animals." Again, it was Edward who answered. "I want to go to school to become a veterinarian and I keep a lot of pets, mostly reptiles and one spider and I talk about how to care for them and so on. Then together, Bella and I have vlog that we update twice a week."

"Now this vlog I've seen, and I've got to say, you two are too cute together. Can we show the clip please?"

"Come here, Baby." Edward's voice sounded out, and on the screen, I moved into his arms and he sighed.

"Much better. Now, did you wanna tell the people why you're waking up with me this morning?"

I was quiet for a while, and he fiddled with my loose hair while I decided what to say. "I had a panic attack. Anxiety attack, whatever you want to call it. I got that text message and then I just… I panicked and I wanted you."

"I was… scared [beep]less at first." Edward said. "I was talking to Emmett and we heard the door handle start jiggling. We thought maybe it was Bree trying to get in, but when he opened the door and you just fell through it, Jesus Christ. Your color was weird, and you were shaking. You were looking right at Emmett and you didn't see him. Then you started choking. I still kind of wanna punch your dad in the [beep]. What did it… what does it feel like?"

"It feels like what I imagine a heart attack to feel like. Your chest hurts. Your actual heart beating is painful. I get hot… feel like I'm suffocating and then I get fuzzy. Everything… everything sounds like when your head's underwater, and someone is standing on the edge of the pool talking to you. You can see them and hear them, but it's not clear. You hear the noise of the water, but the voice is off and far away. Or sometimes it sounds like you're listening to a track and then it slows down until the voice gets super low and then it sounds like that voice on Charlie Brown. Just warped noises. Then you can't breathe, and that makes the panic take off even faster. The worst part is afterwards. The actual anxiety itself is worse afterwards. Plus, you feel emotionally and physically weak, and jittery and embarrassed... Ashamed."

"Okay, that's enough heavy [beep]. Please don't cry, I hate it when you cry."

"Awwww," the crowd cooed again, but this time it was a sadder sound. I sighed.

"Do you have an anxiety disorder, Isabella?"

"A pretty severe one." I finally say something. "It's a little better now, but I would have panic attacks almost daily."

"Generally, or because of specific things."

I squeezed Edward's hand tighter, and he squeezed back reassuringly. I had told them these questions were okay, but they still weren't easy to answer.

"Both? Sometimes it feels like anything that may mildly bother other people would set me off. My brain automatically jumps to the most far-fetched worst case scenario at random times and then I panic and it's debilitating because I can't function at all until it passes."

"Are they all that bad?"

"A lot are, but they build up to it, and I've been trying to either get myself away from the thing that's making me anxious, or if Edward is close, which he usually is unless we're in class, he helps talk me down if it gets too bad."

"Wow. And to think, you two are high school sweethearts. It took me 2 husbands before I found a man that supportive!"

Everyone chuckled dutifully, and Jane looked directly at the camera again. "It's time for a commercial break, and when we come back we'll show you just how these two broke the internet this weekend, and Bella will grace the stage on Hello, America."

When the red lights on top of the cameras went out, I slumped back against the couch and Edward rubbed the back of my neck while Jane excused herself to get touched up in hair and makeup.

"Why did I talk you into this again?" I asked Edward quietly. I was seriously starting to feel like an idiot for keeping us both up all night searching for and then editing down the perfect song and instrumental to perform and making us spend the beginning of our Valentine's Day on display for the entire continental US instead of being wrapped up in that nice big bed back in our hotel room.

He turned towards me and rubbed his hands down my arms. "Because you miss performing, and now that you don't have to worry about your parents controlling you, you want to see if it holds the same pull it used to."

"Oh. Yeah. I think that was a spur of the moment thought because Jane Freaking Alec approached us at TubeCon."

"Yeah, yeah. Say what you want, but I think you want this."

"I do. I just…"

"Nerves, baby. That's all."

He was right, of course, but after spending the entire weekend blatantly refusing to think about what all would be changing for us after we'd flown to New York and basically got married in front of the entire world, now that I was sitting here on Hello freaking America, those changes were impossible to ignore. Before I could put much thought to it, Jane eased back into her seat and the assistant with the headset counted us back in.

Instead of speaking, they started with footage of the wedding.

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you 'Husband and Wife'. You may kiss the bride."

I'd grinned widely up at Edward and he pulled me closer before dipping me dramatically, my arm hanging straight down and dangling my gorgeous bouquet in a pose almost directly from Esme's old movies while the onlookers catcalled.

The footage slid into a view of me on stage in my dress, gesturing wildly, hair falling down while I belted out the words to Love on Top.

"You looked like you were having fun up there." Jane said as the sound faded down and the audience cheered.

"Oh I was." I agreed. "The entire day was like a dream. It was perfect."

"Now tell me," She leaned towards us. "This is 100% legitimate? It's not just for show?"

"We're 100% legally married." Edward answered, and my nerves started to increase.

"But why now? Why at TubeCon, and why so young? You're 19 and Bella is 17 correct?"

"Yes. Neither Bella or I had the best childhoods when we were small. I was part of a smuggling ring bust, where the FBI infiltrated and arrested a group that was using young orphans as human drug mules."

Another picture appeared on the screen of my dad in his FBI gear but his face blurred out, holding Edward, Alice and Emmett. It was a long, long conversation with home when we'd called and gained permission to us this picture from our family.

"These are my siblings." Edward said, and the picture changed to one Alice had taken over the holidays of Carlisle, Emmett and Edward in their matching pajamas and Esme, Alice and I in our matching onesies with. Bree, as a foster child, wasn't allowed to be in any public pictures so there was one with and without her. "Alice, Emmett and I were adopted together. We were all part of that ring."

"Carlisle and Esme are amazing." I said quietly. "They've kind of unofficially pulled me into the fold too, because my family situation isn't the best."

"I've met you and your mother once before." Jane cut in, and I nodded. "I was here as part of a group of 3 finalists in a competition when I was 11 or 12. My mom was very exacting, always has been. I had to sing what she wanted, when she wanted and how she wanted, and by God I had better win too or her cold indifference changed to cruelty. I wasn't safe living with her, so in this roundabout way, I made my way to the Cullens when I changed schools, but she still tries to force her way into my life and make me do things I'm very uncomfortable doing."

It was a very simple way of putting it, and I left my dad out of it altogether since he was Chief of Police and because there was a possibility that he was sick, suffering from some kind of alcohol abuse problem and I was holding out hope that he would get better and be the father that had come to pick me up from Arizona.

"Do you mean performing, Bella?"

I took a deep breath, holding on to Edward's hand with both of mine now. I'd slept fitfully trying to decide if this was something I wanted to put out this way and Edward had left it completely up to me.

"Part of it is performing, yes. The biggest thing… is that I… we…" I gulped loudly, fighting of the suffocating anxiousness that I could feel creeping up on me. I let go of Edward with one hand to blot my eyes and he held the other up to his chest, silently reminding me to match his breathing.

"We're going to have a baby." Edward said, keeping the fact that it was twins a secret. I didn't see Jane's reaction because my eyes were shut tight, but I heard all of the gasps. "It obviously wasn't something we planned, but we made the decision together to love and take care of the life we created. Later, we found out that my brother's ex poked holes in condoms that were intended for them, but we ended up with."

I guess Edward was still mad at Rosalie because we hadn't planned on letting that little tidbit out.

More gasps, and Jane's shocked "What?"

I felt Edward's nod. "We found out about the holes the same day we found out she was pregnant. There was a loud argument between us and her that the police got involved in, and that's how Bella's family found out, and we were told in no uncertain terms that the pregnancy was to be terminated, no matter what we said, and that her mother had already found a doctor that would perform the abortion whether Bella agreed to it or not."

"Oh my God." Jane's voice was almost a whisper. "Bella, do you think she really would have-"

"Absolutely." I gasped without opening my eyes. Tears squeezed out between my lashes. "I don't fit with her image of… I ruined her life when she got pregnant with me. Her mother disowned her because I'm half black, and it's like she's forever trying to make me live up to the perfect daughter that she was before she had me. As a kid she'd lighten my face with makeup, make me wear blue contacts, dye my hair blonde, put me on very strict diets. To her this is another thing that I'm doing wrong. Another do over that she doesn't get and a reminder of how messed up I am to her." My voice broke and I fought the urge to duck and hide my face as Jane snatched a tissue off the table and pressed it into my hand.

As I tried to blot my face without smudging the eyeliner that had been put on me backstage, Jane leaned forward with tears in her own eyes.

"So you got married to protect your baby."

"That moved the timeline up for sure." My husband agreed. "We were going to get married anyway. If she said yes, I mean. I bought her ring before Christmas and hadn't been able to decide if it would be too corny to propose on Valentine's Day or Graduation Day or if I should just carry the thing everywhere with me and see what felt right. We found out about the pregnancy on… Thursday morning I think it was, and that afternoon is when the argument happened and that evening is when we were told that me, Bella, my parents, none of us had a say and Bella was going to be taken to a doctor to end the pregnancy. We left, just walked right out and that night we were on a plane. Now we'll all have the same last name, which… until I found out I was going to be a Dad, I didn't know that the fact that I have no idea who my birth parents were or why they gave me and Alice up was important. Well that's wrong, it's not important because I wouldn't trade Esme and Carlisle Cullen for anything in this world, but as a kid, I always feared that because Emmett and Alice and I were little terrors and traumatized… I thought that because they weren't blood related, they could just return us if we got too terrible. It was unfounded, and my parents would never, and God, I hope you're not crying Ma, I'm sorry, but I don't want any children of mine to ever have that fear or think that we're not all really a family or that one of us has a different last name because we're waiting to see if we didn't really want to be a part of this family after all."

More tears fell at that, and I squeezed Edward's hand tight. He'd never told me that.

"And as far as Bella and I: we're each other's dependents now instead of dependents of our parents, and nobody can step in and make decisions and override what we want because of either of our ages. We want to have this baby? We're smart, we can afford it on our own, most importantly we want to. This is a part of Bella and a part of me. I could never dream of not wanting or loving any child we made together, but we also have two amazing parents in Carlisle and Esme, the latter of which would probably tackle me if I told her we didn't want or need their help, so we're having this baby. Bella wants to sing again, without the fear of someone controlling her, controlling her money, using her, hurting her, and I want to give her the freedom to do that or whatever else she wants without having to hide the things that are important to her because she's afraid someone will take it away from her."

There was that damned 'Awwww' from the crowd again, and embarrassingly, my quiet tears turned to loud sobs.

"Well there you have it!" Jane announced as Edward chuckled and tossed his free arm over my shoulder. "We'll be right back and next up? Bella will take the stage in front of our live audience!"

Someone must have given some cue that it was okay to get up because Edward stood with me, and shuffled me off the short stage and off to the side where it was considerably darker and cooler and hugged me tight. Only then did I realize I was trembling. "You did so good Mush Monster."

"Me? You!" I sobbed. "I didn't know you were going to say all that."

"Me either." He shrugged, resting his head on the top of mine, further enveloping me, rocking us and the trembling started to ease. I deeply regret not bringing my weighted blanket with us to New York. "It just kind of came out. Are you mad?"

"No way."

"5 minutes!" Someone called out, and a body approached us from the side. "The sugar and caffeine might help with the nerves." A soft voice said, and Edward took whatever she offered. Edward let go of me to hand me the Coke can, and I chugged as much of it as I dared before he held me again, squeezing tight until the assistant came back to get us, taking my half empty soda, fitting me with the ear pieces we'd tried out this morning and ushering us to our spots.

Edward was standing right up front, with the audience who'd moved to the second stage just left of the one we'd used previously, empty except for lights, a mic stand, Jane and I. When we were counted back in, she, considerable taller than me, grinned down at me and then at the camera.

"Welcome back to Hello America, and if you are just joining us or channel flipping, don't you dare touch that dial. Put down the remote because you are in for a treat! I have with me Isabella Cullen, a YouTuber who, with her husband, 'broke the internet' when they surprised everyone during their panel at TubeCon by getting married, looking, completely stunning might I add, and it. Went. Viral. The video was almost as popular as the footage of girlfriend singing the house down and we have her here today and I promise you the voice coming out of this quiet and soft spoken young lady will floor you. Here she is, Bella with Drown in My Own Tears."

The lights dimmed, a spotlight hit me, blocking out everything, even Edward as Jane hurried away from me and the piano and organ started in my ears.

It brings a tear,
Into my eyes,

The earpieces muffled too much and I hurriedly tugged one out before I hit a sour note and sounded like someone singing with headphones up too loud. Like an audition, they'd given me exactly a minute and 40 seconds, and of this particular song, that meant every single second had to be impactful and solid.

When I begin,
To realize,

I've cried so much,

Since you've been gone,

I guess I'm drowning

I'll drown in my own tears

I almost winced when I flubbed the tenses of the lyrics, but I didn't have time to focus on it because the intensity of the song was already ramping up.

Well if you don't think

If you don't think that you'll be coming home soon

'Don't think about it Bella' I told myself. 'Just GO!'

I believe I'm gonna drown this morning,

Yeah, I'm gonna drown

Drown

I put every single bit of me into those notes. Every bit. I was an audition piece from a couple years ago and I gave it even more now than I did then.

Drown

Drown

In my own tears

My tears

Tears

Oh I don't want to drown in my own tears

It was almost like I was in a trance, and when I came out of it, even Edward's face was stunned and people were screaming.

It felt good. Better than good; it felt amazing. It was a heady feeling and I was almost drunk on it as Jane reappeared and pulled me into a one-armed hug.

"What did I tell you!" She cheered. "Who would have expected this to come out of this tiny thing that was just crying on my couch? That is all the time we have for this morning, everyone, you can find Edward and Bella online at all of these places showing on your television screen, and make sure you keep an eye out because I know amazing things are coming!"

In the cab on the way home, Edward had handed me my glasses, which I hadn't been able to wear because of all the lighting, shown me the footage he'd taken of me singing on the talk show stage, and I saw things I hadn't noticed I'd been doing, like bodily getting into the song. There wasn't a second I wasn't moving some or all of me. I looked different, confident after having just fallen apart not ten minutes before.

When we got back to the room, we stripped and collapsed into the bed, because we'd been up until 2 and had a 4am start to get there and get everything ready on time. We set an alarm and passed out instantaneously. I woke up after only an hour and sat up, staring down at my absolutely gorgeous husband who was still out cold with one tattooed arm thrown over his face.

He'd been so completely perfect this weekend, with the proposal, the wedding, the surprise bouquet, and then cheering me on, and surrendering what half of our first Valentine's day together that wasn't going to be spent traveling to go onto a talk show instead because I'd wanted to do it. When Jane had approached us in the lobby of the civic center, I'd pettily wanted to show off, to get on that show for a second time, this time not as part of a group, but just Edward and I, and show Renee that she couldn't touch me anymore. I was married, I was having these babies, and I wasn't going to allow her to run my life any longer. We walked around and shopped a little on Sunday afternoon while I went back and forth over the issue, trying to puzzle it out in my head. By the time we made it back to the hotel room with gifts for Esme and Alice in tow, I'd made up my mind.

Edward had been surprised that I'd wanted to do the show, but agreed easily. 'Whatever you want, Bella' he'd said and set to help me pick and choose over the list of interview questions we'd been emailed and how we would answer them.

He was perfect, he was amazing, and he was irrevocably mine.

I settled down onto my side and backed into him until he rolled, spooning me from behind with arm around my waist. Impatiently, and a little awkwardly, but not as much as I imagined, (maybe since he was still asleep, and if he wasn't, he couldn't see my face), I tucked myself back against his lap, pressing until I felt an erection stirring. Grasping the hand that was wrapped around my middle, I slid it upwards until he was palming by breast.

"Please tell me you're awake." His voice was groggy and thick as his grip tightened and he rolled my nipple between his fingers.

"I'm awake." I said, breathless. He slid his other hand down between our bodies until his fingers brushed against the slick dampness growing between my legs. Two fingers slid inside, filling me, and I moaned, arching back to meet them when they slid out and into me again and again and again, driving me wild.

"Slide up." He grunted finally, easing his fingers free when I could feel myself edging towards that precipice. He tugged my hips until I was where he wanted me, there was a second of prodding as he fumbled for my entrance, and then every hot and hard inch of him slid inside of me.

We both moaned, and he set a slow and steady pace, meeting my hips with his gently, hands cradling both of my breasts, fingers rolling the nipples.

"Edward." I whined, because while slow felt amazing, I wanted more. Laughing, he knew it, and grabbing my hips, he rolled us until I was on my hands and knees and he slid even deeper. The sound I let out was deep, guttural and loud.

"I know, Baby. Fuck." Gripping my hips, he pulled back and slammed forward again. "Yes!" I cried out, because nothing had ever felt so good. My arms wobbled and I went down, hips still in Edward's hands but my chest was resting on the mattress. It changed the angle drastically, and I turned my head to bury my scream in the bedding.

Edward moaned long and drawn out, even as his hips snapped, meeting mine rapidly, the sound of flesh smacking flesh adding to the fervor. "Ed-ward!" I gasped, feeling my oncoming orgasm tighten my back and thighs. "God! Shit! Fuck!" I cried, out each word as it felt like he bottomed me out, hitting as deep as would ever be possible. I knew I was being loud again, but I was too far gone, too lost to the feelings that completely consumed me. I don't know how long we went like that, but it felt like hours, days, weeks, certainly longer than we'd ever gone before and twice, Edward had pulled out of me with a curse, letting the fires cool for a bit before he sank back inside.

Finally, when I thought I would either pass out or break apart from the prolonged pleasure, one hand released my hip and snaked around until he could roll and pinch my clit and my body locked as wave after wave of unending white hot release crashed through me again and again. I knew nothing, barely registered my own wailing or Edward stiffening behind me as he came next. When I finally came down, I reached down to grab his hand and wrench it away from my sensitive flesh, squeezing his wet fingers as I panted, unable to speak yet.

Fitting himself over my back, Edward rolled us roughly until we hit the bed, spooning once again, my body still cradling his semi hardened flesh inside of mine. Breathing just as rapidly as I was, he placed a peck on my shoulder and covered us both with the heavy duvet once again.

"Love you." I murmured, then yawned sleepily.

"Love you, too."

Even after we had to run down to the hotel gift shop and buy two ridiculously expensive hard shell carry-on suitcases and one bigger one to pack up all of the stuff we accumulated, we still made it to the airport and through security with an hour to spare until boarding. So we grabbed pizza from Artichoke. Edward wasn't feeling very adventurous, but I got the Artichoke slice, and the thing was the size of the paper plate. I finished it all, and leaned back in my seat, sipping a water, happily rubbing my stomach.

"Liked that one, did they?" Edward laughed, placing his hand on top of mine. "Loved it." I agreed. After that, it was a 20-minute wait until the boarding started, and Edward texted his parents to let them know our flight information and I jogged to the gift shop to grab a throw blanket. After we were seated on the plane, and I'd taken my coat off, I threw the blanket over Edward and I both, leaned against the window and was out of it before the passengers even finished loading.

The next thing I knew, I was coming awake with a start, shaking wildly as my stomach protested.

"It's turbulence." Edward said, grabbing my arm as I jumped. We'll be in Seattle in about 5-… you okay? You're a little green."

My stomach protested the rough air by threatening to send back the rich pizza I'd eaten hours before. I groaned and took deep breaths through my nose, trying desperately not to vomit on the plane. If wasn't in very real danger of doing so, Edward's panicked face as he reached for the puke bags tucked into the back of the seat would have been hilarious.

He snapped it open and passed it to me. I held it open on my lap, just in case, but though my stomach roiled uncomfortably, luckily it held onto it's last meal through the jarring landing and the wait to get off the plane, but not much longer. The flight attendant helpfully pointed out that there was a restroom across from this gate and I handed Edward my blanket and sprinted up the corridor, surprising my family, who were waiting for us with a large sign that said 'Congratulations'. I let go of my suitcase at Alice's feet, waving and covering my mouth with my other hand as I tore across the terminal, Emmett's laughter following me as I ran past the line of ladies and rushed into the handicapped stall one was just existing, gagging the whole while until I lost what little of my lunch hadn't digested into the still churning water, barely managing to catch my glasses before they fell into the bowl. Gross.

"Bella?" I heard Esme's voice as she entered the bathroom a little while after. "I'm sorry, she's pregnant. The flight didn't sit well." She said to someone before coming into the stall with me and locking the door I hadn't bothered to shut behind me. I felt her cool hands on my neck before she drew my ponytail out of the way and grabbed my glasses from my hand as I grunted, my stomach heaving painfully for the little bit that it was releasing. After several minutes, I stood up thinking I was done, only to heave again and lose just a little bit more.

"Poor thing." A woman in the next stall called. "This her first?"

"My first grandbabies." Esme answered proudly. "Twins."

"Oh, how exciting!"

"I think I'm done." I groaned when I'd stood another wave didn't appear to be forthcoming. Esme ushered me backwards and flushed the toilet with the toe of her boot then unlocked the door. When I didn't move, she took a look at my face and tucked me under her arm. The line of women we walked past all gave me sympathetic looks as I washed my hands and Esme led me out of the bathroom.

"I think I need to sit down for a minute." I felt way more weak than vomiting had ever made me feel before and for some stupid reason, there were tears in my eyes. Everyone was waiting for us along the wall and Esme took my suitcase from Emmett, laid it flat against the wall, and I sat down gratefully. Carlisle handed me a water bottle and Edward squatted down beside me as Esme ran off somewhere.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. The Artichoke Pizza probably was a bad idea." Frustrated, and wondering if this is how morning sickness was going to be, I saw all of my plans for artichoke pizza recipes go flying out of the window. I thought cravings and morning sickness were supposed to be separate. I wiped my face, still crying and I had no idea why. "It was so good though."

Emmett snickered and Edward reached out to punch his brother in the thigh. "It was probably the turbulence, Babe. You were fine until then."

"You think so?"

He accepted the handkerchief from Carlisle and passed it to me. "I'm pretty sure."

That made me feel infinitely better, and Esme reappeared with a little box of something that she was ripping open. Shaking a fat tablet into her hand, she passed it to me. "This will settle your stomach, just let it dissolve under your tongue."

It fizzed, like sweet tasting Alka Seltzer in my mouth, and I winced, trying not to gag, but after a few deep breaths it was completely gone and I washed the taste down with the water Carlisle had given me. A few very uncomfortable minutes passed where everyone just watched me, but my stomach did feel better, so I stood and was immediately hugged around the waist by Bree. "Bella, you're back!" She squealed, and the rest of the family descended.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"We came to to take you out to di-" Alice started, and then winced. "Sorry. You probably don't want to eat right now, huh?"

I smiled sheepishly as she came forward to hug me. "Actually, I'm kind of hungry."

Laughing, Esme handed me my glasses back and I shoved them back on before bending to right my suitcase, which Emmett took from me.

"Did you guys check anything?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, just one." Edward answered, so we headed to baggage claim with our family chattering a mile a minute.

"When were you going to tell us you were getting married?" Esme asked, whacking Edward upside the head. "You both looked so gorgeous, my babies." She said before he could answer. "Please tell me you got footage, we couldn't find any good shots of the whole thing. Oh! I recorded the interview this morning. Did you watch it yet?"

"Just the song." I answered, giggling at Edward's face as his mother started rivaling Alice for most run-on questions and statements.

"You got a set of lungs on you girl!" Emmett dropped a ginormous arm over my shoulder. "I can't believe all that noise came out of little quiet Bella." We came to those stupid conveyor belt things and I hung back, choosing to walk on the floor next to it after the way my stomach had just behaved. Emmett walked with me, and pulled me back a bit, slowing our pace dramatically.

"Wait a sec shortcake, I wanted to talk to you for a bit."

Surprised, I craned my head to look up at him. "What's up Em?"

"I um, haven't seen you since the whole Rose hole-poking debacle and I wanted to apologize."

"Emmett, don't."

"No, Bella. If I hadn't given Edward those condoms…"

I pulled away to face him and cocked a hand on my hip, eyebrow raised. "Are you going to tell your nieces or nephews that you're sorry they exist?"

Em gaped down at me. "Nieces or Nephews. Plural?"

"Twins." I grinned. "Identical, according to the doctor."

"Oh God," covering his face, Emmett squatted down, and I saw someone so overcome by guilt that he couldn't stand under the weight of it.

"Emmett, stop it." I punched him in the arm. "Get up." And punched again. "UP, Em." And again, until he stood.

"My parents have done nothing but make me feel like a mistake that they regret. Edward and I aren't making these kids feel that way, and don't you fucking do it either. Were they planned? Of course not, but saying you're sorry is saying you're sorry that they exist, and I'm not. They're here now, and yeah, my life is gonna be changed, but it will not be ruined. I punched that heifer in the face and got it out of my system, but I was more-so angry because she was being a manipulative bitch and tried to do something you didn't want. Edward and I are fine. We're happy."

He stared at me for a long moment. "You're seriously not mad at me? Your dad…"

"Something is wrong with him. Alcohol or something, I don't know, so if it hadn't been this, it would have been something else. I was never mad at you for a second. I was scared because I thought it might be the kid of the person who assaulted me before I moved here, and then scared because I thought I would be a shitty parent, but Edward and I… I think we got this. And if you still feel guilty, you can pick up diaper duty."

I was swept up into a bear hug and I kissed Emmett on his forehead before he put me back on my feet.

"Identical twins huh?" He draped his arm across my shoulders again and we started watching to catch up with everyone who was waiting for us at the end of the hall. "So I can teach them to pretend to be each other and confuse everyone all the time?"

"Do it and you're dead to me."