AN: To the person who said "Well that was a whole lot of yawn. This seems to have been written by a teenager"

It's supposed to seem like it was written by a teenager, it's from the perspective of a teenager, and if you're bored and/or don't like it, feel free to NOT READ IT. There's no need to be an ass.

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

Chapter 18

BPOV

Edward got in-school suspension for the rest of the day and after school detention for a week, and I was asked to stay home for the rest of the week if I couldn't stop being such a disruption to the other students.

Meanwhile, Newton didn't get into any trouble, though his comments were racial bullying and he should have been expelled.

We had to leave Edward behind as Esme drove me home and I struggled to keep myself together. When we got home, I apologized for shattering the plate this morning and excused myself up to Edward's room. I downloaded all the footage from New York as well as the edited photos from the photographer, which killed about an hour and a half, and then I started messing with copies of the wedding footage, hoping that editing our wedding video would make me feel better.

It didn't.

I was still tense and shaky, so I set up two of the cameras and the audio recorder, then sat on Edward's couch, wrapped in the heaviest of my weighted blankets with Lola laying next to me, her head in my lap.

"I don't think I've ever filmed any of these with just me." I say to the camera, setting my glasses on the couch and trying to wrap the blanket tighter around me. "Edward does it all the time, but I always felt like nobody wanted to hear what I had to say without him. By the time this goes up, you all will have seen the vlog from TubeCon and the wedding. Some of you might have even seen the Hello America interview where we announced that I was pregnant. I'll see if I can find it and link it in the description box along with the TubeCon videos.

"Um… We just got back yesterday, and if you're wondering why I'm sitting here by myself, looking so terrible… Um. This is my weighted blanket. I use it because I think I have some kind of sensory problem from little to no physical contact as a child, and it grounds me. It also helps on days like this when I feel like I'm about to splinter into a million pieces.

"Yesterday was great for the most part. Edward's parents took us out to dinner and they got us a cake and gave us this absolutely amazing set to cut it with, and the matching glasses. I think the video from that should be in a vlog maybe after this one? We just haven't gotten around to editing them yet so I don't know what order everything is going up in.

Last night, my mother called, threatening me and I tried. I tried so hard not to panic, but I spent all night completely terrified she'd try to hurt us, or take my baby from me. I didn't sleep at all.

"Then today? Today was our first day back at school, and…" I stopped for a moment to take a deep breath. "It was horrible. TubeCon was so much fun. I was able to just be me and talk to people without fear or anxiety and have a good time. I don't… I don't know what it is about this damned school. I can't stop letting them treat me the way they did back in Arizona. Like I was garbage. As soon as I woke up this morning, even Alice just picked and picked about how fat I look. Wh-when I got to school, I gave them a copy of our marriage license so they could change my name, and from the moment that my new name was called in roll, it started.

"They said that Edward only married me because I'm pregnant, and that I can't afford to get any fatter. The said that he had low standards. They said that I was beneath him, not good enough. And I just let them.

"I didn't say anything. I've been fighting tremors all day. My entire body hurts, and I can't take my meds because I'm pregnant and the stupid blanket isn't helping. I could barely hold myself together, and all I wanted was to hug my husband and go home, but I would barely let him touch me because I didn't want him to know and I didn't want anyone else to see how horrible I felt on the inside and how close I was to falling apart. I just sat there because if I told him what was wrong, I was going to start crying and never stop.

"Then we got to biology and Mike leaned right over me like I wasn't even there. He told Edward,"

I stopped again, so angry that I could feel the tic in my cheek when I clenched my jaw shut.

"He asked Edward how he talked Carlisle and Esme off the ledge because his mother would have killed herself if he'd brought home an abomination like a half black baby. A half black baby like ours. And the best part, are you ready for this? He wasn't punished at all, even though the whole class and the teacher heard him say it, and I was told that if the disturbances didn't stop that I was going to be asked not to come back, because, even though I literally had not said one fucking word all day, I got labeled as a disruption. I'm done. I'm just done.

"I'm tired of it. There are some things that I have no control over as far as my anxiety is concerned, but this isn't one of them. Being bullied doesn't make me anxious, it hurts my feelings and pisses pisses me off, and I will not sit in that building for 8 or 9 hours a day and just let people talk shit about me and my husband, and for damn sure not my child."

I waved my hand to the side where I would put a picture of me in my old clothes.

"This Bella wore armor to try and make herself beneath notice. She thought if she made herself not 'worth' regarding then no one would. It didn't work. This Bella," I waved a hand at myself. "Is closer. I quit hiding myself, but I still keep my head down and hope people overlook me. It still isn't working. This Bella, though:"

I waved my hand again where I would put a clip from my performance at TubeCon if I could find one.

"This is what I need. When I'm up there, I'm completely me. There's no hiding, no shame, no apprehension. I know what I can do up there and I will stand there time and again and prove that for however long I'm there, that stage and that room are mine and nothing can take that away from me. Offstage I hid that Bella away to protect her when I should have been using her strength. I owe my future children better than to bring them into a world where their mother is a doormat because of her anxiety. My anxiety does not make me weak and I won't be that Bella anymore." I jerked my thumb off to the side. "This one? This one's coming off stage."

I leaned forward to turn the camera off, and pulled the memory card out to edit the footage. I still had some time, and the video was fairly short, so it finished uploading with a release time set for the next morning just as Edward walked into the room. Lola hopped up and danced circles around his legs excitedly. He dipped down to pet her head but he looked angry and tired. His eyes met mine, and I held my arms open.

He shut the door and dropped his book bag to the floor with a thud before he came to me, burying his face in my neck and breathing in deeply.

I pushed his coat off of his shoulders, and when his arms were free, he wrapped them around me and I dug my fingers into his soft hair and scratched lightly at his scalp with my nails. "I'm sorry." I breathed. "I shut down today and that wasn't fair to you."

"It was a rough day." He grunted, nuzzling into my neck, "And correct me if I'm wrong, but you had a rough night too."

"I didn't sleep." I admitted, and he sighed and fingered the slouched cowl neck of my sweater. "I can't feel you with this thing on." Was all he said, so I took it off and his hands slipped under the tank top I wore beneath before he set his head back in the crook of my shoulder. I held him without complaint, happy to have him close as I trailed my fingers through his hair and felt the tension ease out of him little by little.

"My head is killing me." He muttered. My fingers froze. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No. Sitting here in the quiet with you helps."

"Do you want me to get your migraine medicine?"

"Before bed. I need to try and eat first."

So I sat quietly, holding Edward cradled against me and we had almost 20 minutes of peace and tranquility until Hurricane Alice whipped into the room and destroyed it.

"Dinner's ready!" She shrilled as she flung the door open, sending it bouncing off the door stop. Edward flinched at the noise and her eyes narrowed on the hands that were inside the back of my shirt, holding on to bare skin.

"Don't start." I warned her, because she looked to be in the same pissy mood from this morning. "He has a migraine, so" I'd been about to tell her to keep it down when she stomped over to us and grabbed my wrist, flinging it away from him. "Then don't touch his head Bella, Jesus! Edward, are you okay? Do you want me to get your meds?"

I stared at her, dumbfounded. What in the hell was her problem?

"Bella got it." Edward said gruffly. "Leave her the hell alone, Alice. I mean it."

She drew back as if he'd slapped her, and then her expression morphed into one of fury. With a high pitched huff, she left the room, slamming the door behind her.

At dinner, my tolerance was in the negatives. I tried my best to ignore Alice's catty attitude, but she was making it blatantly obvious that she had a problem with me. The backhanded comments were petty and nothing I hadn't heard before, but it was the fact that it was Alice who was deliberately digging at my tender spots that pissed me off.

Conversation was muted and the lights were dimmed, out of respect for the fact that Edward had a headache, but Carlisle had still wanted to know what happened at school today and why Edward had gotten detention.

"The kids at school were relentless." Alice chimed in before Edward or I could say a word. "They said that Edward's slumming it and Chief Swan started drinking because Bella got sent to live with him." I flinched at that, but she kept going. "The general consensus is that Edward only married her because she's pregnant and that the last thing either of them need is for her to get bigger. Wait until they find out it's twins!" She shot me a smirk and leaned back in her seat.

"Alice-" Carlisle started.

"Well I told her not to wear that awful sweater."

"Didn't I buy you a matching sweater?" Esme cut in, giving her daughter a look that meant she had better behave herself, and quick. "And didn't you wear it just a couple days ago?"

"I," Alice drawled the word as she picked up her water glass. "Am not fat."

Edward slammed his fork into the table. Literally into the table, the force of it sending the opposite end bouncing up off of the floor, and Bree giggled in delight when her plate leapt in front of her. When he let go, the fork stood upright, tines buried into the wood.

"Well," I said, wiping my mouth with my paper towel and tossing it down onto my barely touched food. "Since my fashion sense is so inappropriate, I'll gladly send the things I bought you back to New York, or use them for a giveaway. Esme, if you want when you're done eating, I'm going to be in the basement. I finished editing the wedding videos, and the photographer emailed us the pictures today. I also have some early birthday gifts for you, unless you don't trust my taste either, then I'll just keep them."

I managed not to break anything this time as I picked up the garment bag that was hanging over the back of my chair and headed down into the basement. "Alice, take your plate up to your room." I heard Carlisle order.

"But Daddy!"

"Now."

I stuck the thumb drive I'd pre-loaded into the USB port on the back of the TV, then curled up on the couch with the remote and the throw blanket. Just as I was turning the television on, everyone else trooped down the stairs, carrying plates and cups. Esme gently set my plate in my lap and placed a gentle kiss to my forehead before sitting next to me. Edward set on my other side, done eating, and laid down with his head on the couch beside my thigh.

"Have you looked at the pictures yet?" He asked, and I shook my head. "I loaded them onto the video but I didn't really look. I was waiting for you."

Carlisle cut the lights off after he settled Bree on the other end of the sectional with her Elsa blanket and her plate and I hit play on the remote.

Esme gasped, when she realized she was looking at the proposal. I don't think either Edward or I had mentioned that it had been caught on camera. The videographer had edited it beautifully, capturing a stunning shot of the snow covered park as the horse drawn carriage pulled up, and Edward helped me out of it.

"Ooooooh." Bree breathed. "A princess carriage!"

On the screen, Edward pulled me over to a spot he later told me the videographer had told him about, and behind us, the sun was setting behind the snow covered trees, turning the cloud crowded sky purples, pinks and golds that reflected off of the snow.

"God, I hope there's a picture of that." I whispered and settled my left hand into Edward's hair again.

"What's all this?" The me on the video asked, and then gasped when Edward got down on one knee in the snow.

"Bella, I…" He took the small wooden box from his pocket. I found myself watching with tears in my eyes, both amused and somewhat appalled by how dramatic I was laughing and crying at the same time with my hands over my mouth.

"I didn't care about much of anything, I just went to school and the shelter, biding my time until graduation but seeing you gave me something to look forward to. I'm happier now than I ever was before you, and I don't want to be without you in my life ever again."

"Awwwww," Emmett teased, throwing a pillow at his brother's legs. Edward ignored him, but his ears were bright red.

"Isabella… Will you marry me?"

And because I wasn't done with the theatrics apparently, I tackled him in the snow. Our entire family laughed at us. "Yes, Edward. Yes! God, you live to make me cry, don't you?" And then I punched him in the arm before I hugged him again.

"I live to make you happy." He said, and on screen I cried harder, as next to me, Esme wiped her tears away. A laughing Edward took his gloves off to wipe my wet face. "Don't you want your ring, Baby?" He teased, picking the box up and then standing us both up out of the snow.

"In a minute." I'd cried and covered my face again.

Edward had simply grabbed my hand, and slid the ring on my finger and kissed me, the video faded out, and I spliced the edited video of us getting ready and the wedding right behind it. While soft piano played in the background, the video showed bits and pieces of me trying on my dress and getting my hair and makeup done with very little of the audio being left in. There were also clips of Edward getting ready by himself in the bathroom thrown in, and trying on his suit before he gave the camera a thumbs up and started to put his street clothes back on. The next shot was vlog footage that Miranda had taken of us holding hands and walking towards the convention center, Edward holding our garment bags over one shoulder. He brought our joint hands up to his lips and kissed my fingers before the footage faded out again and into the view of Edward standing at the head of the aisle by himself.

Since this was our video, I edited out the parts where he spoke to the audience and about the panel, and just started it right after the officiate joined him on the stairs. Quiet music started to play, and he called softly "Bella, you can come out now, Baby."

I switched camera angles to show me splitting the curtains and stepping out onto the makeshift aisle in my pink dress, the crystals catching the light and adding to the soft, almost hazy effect the lighting gave the rest of the room. I'd left in each and every amazing moment, juggling camera angles to catch his stunned look and soft "whoa", my surprised face when Kate handed me my gorgeous bouquet and Edward's answering wink. I'd left in our soft whispers to each other when he came to meet me at the base of the stairs, and added a bokeh effect behind us to add to the magic I'd felt as we said our vows. When we were pronounced husband and wife, and Edward dipped me backwards, grinning before he kissed me, Emmett coughed loudly. "Cornball!"

"It was romantic!" Esme defended as Edward whipped the pillow Emmett had tossed earlier at his brother's head. I knew he was teasing, so I just laughed, still playing with Edward's hair as the past version of us stood and clung to each other before the video faded to black and the pictures started.

"That's a good one." Carlisle pointed out as we all looked at the image of Edward kneeling in the snow, holding my hand.

I handed Edward the remote so he could cycle through the pictures and I could eat without taking my hand off of his head. The next image caught me crying as he held the ring out, and after that, me socking him in the arm, and the next caught me tackling him. It was a pretty cool action shot with snow flying all over the place and me mid-air, right before I landed on him.

There were pictures of him helping me out of the horse drawn carriage, which I really liked, and of Edward finally sliding the ring onto my finger.

After that were pictures from the ceremony. Edward's face, I think when he caught sight of me for the first time, a close up of our linked hands, Edward wiping my tears during our vows, the dip both before and during our kiss, and when we stood there afterwards, holding each other. Then came my favorite pictures in front of the fountain. It was sunset again, and I'd been as cold as I'd ever been in my life, but it was worth it for the shots we got. There was one of me lying on the marble bench, the train of my dress draping down onto the ground that looked like it could have come out of a fashion magazine. There were two of Edward standing in front of the fountain, holding his tux jacket over one shoulder by a single finger of his left hand, ring glinting in the light, his other hand in his pocket. In one he was smiling, in one he wasn't, and I don't know which one I liked better. All of the rest of the pictures had us together. The photographer had him dip me backwards again in front of the fountain and hold it until he moved my arm to hang straight down, my bouquet dangling just so, so that the rhinestones and pearls dangled in perfect little arcs. In another, Edward stood behind me, his chin resting on top of my hair, and in another of my favorites, Edward stood with his back to the camera and you could only see me from the bridge of my nose up as I looked over his shoulder, and my left hand and ring as it rested on the back of his shoulder blade. My right hand was tangled in his hair,

"Did you have to pick her up for that one?" Emmett was practically beside himself.

"I stood on a box." I rolled my eyes and chucked another pillow at him.

"I want copies of those!" Esme demanded when we'd cycled through all of the pictures. Finished eating, I stood and pulled the thumb drive free and handed it to Esme. "These are your copies."

Esme pocketed it happily, then motioned for the garment bag. "Is your dress in there? Let me see, let me see!"

Obediently, because she looked like she was going to bounce herself right into space if I didn't move it, I carefully pulled the gown out of the bag and made a kind of seat out of my arms so it wouldn't drag on the floor.

"Oh Bella, where did you find it?"

"From this custom shop in the city somewhere. I have her card upstairs. She makes each one herself and refuses to do similar designs, so this is the only one like it in any color." I was quite happy about that. I didn't want anyone wearing a duplicate of the dress I'd married Edward in.

"I got really lucky, this was for another woman who asked for nothing but Swarovski crystals and then disappeared when it was time to pay for it, so I got it a bit discounted, and if that woman ever comes back for it, she's S.O.L because Carmen said she isn't making another one like it for anyone else."

"It's heavy to look so light and airy." Esme marveled when I handed it off to her. I grinned, "But don't you want to see what I got you?" I went back for the garment bag, pulling out several hangers and trying to hold them up so that Esme could see all of the dresses I'd found in her size at the vintage shop. There were several woolen crepe dresses from the 40s, but long and short sleeved for regular wear, and two tea length gowns with petticoats, and one black one that looked a little odd because it's missing the underskirts. I grabbed the black coat dress and held it up.

"I almost didn't get this one because it was missing the petticoat things, but I'm pretty sure you have some, and it looked like something you would wear." I handed it to her then looked around at the pile of clothes on the back of the couch. I ignored the two mod sheath dresses that had been for Alice and asked Edward "What happened to the two coats?" If I'd forgotten them in New York I was going to cry. They had cost more than all of the dresses together.

"They're in the bag with my tux, remember?" Edward said. "You thought your dress might fade on- Holy shit Ma! Jesus!"

Esme had shrieked, scaring the crap out of all of us. I turned to see her holding the black coat dress, shaking it at me. "Do you know what this is?" She squealed, looking like she might faint. "Do you?"

I peeked at the tag, on which some of the letters were missing.

"Guh-something-chee? I have zero clue, I just thought it looked nice."

"Givenchy." She said, pronouncing it with a heavy French accent. "Givenchy Bella."

"What's Givenchy?" Alice appeared halfway down the stairs, looking sheepish. "This!" Esme shrieked again and waved the dress around. She started looking at the tags on the other dresses. "Bella, all of this stuff is designer. Vintage designer."

"Oh." I said simply, because I hadn't known that. I'd simply gone into the vintage store to kill time and there had been a sale, and the lady had seen us on Hello America and told me that I could go through the rack of stuff that wasn't sorted and have everything for the basic label price if I plugged her stuff on our channel. I'd paid what was still expensive as hell to me, but apparently I'd gotten a bigger deal than I'd thought.

"Oh?" Esme repeated, her voice raising an octave. "Oh?!"

"Ooookay," Edward stood, squinting. "I'm going to bed."

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry." She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "I forgot about your headache."

"It's okay." He hugged her tightly, picking her up off her feet. "I'm glad you like your early birthday presents."

I grabbed my dress and the garment bag, following Edward up the stairs and promising that I'd be back with the rest of Esme's stuff. I didn't acknowledge Alice at all, but cracked the window in my room as Edward stripped down to his boxers and climbed into my bed, since the cool air made his head feel better and dashed across the hall to his room for his meds and the other garment bag.

He grabbed me before I could pull away and kissed my lips sweetly, lingering. "Give Ma her coats, and take a camera because she's gonna freak the fuck out, then come back and lay with me."

I kissed him again because I'd barely spent any time with him today, and even though we'd spent almost every waking moment from Thursday to Monday together, I missed him. "Do you think I should give Alice hers?"

He sighed. "Up to you, Baby. I wouldn't give her shit when she's acting like that. Especially something so expensive. It would serve her right if you gave it away."

I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say or do. Alice was my sister and I loved her, but she was also trying to deliberately hurt me and I didn't know why. It brought back that weak and uncertain feeling that I'd sworn, just hours ago, that I wasn't going to deal with anymore.

"Okay." I stood. "I'll hurry back."

"Can you bring me something out of the kitchen with caffeine in it?"

"Of course." I kissed him again, took Edward's tux out of the garment bag and carried it, the camera and Alice's two dresses down the stairs.

When I got to the basement, I turned the camera on, fumbling to hold on to it and the heavy bag before handing it to Emmett. He accepted it wordlessly and turned it on Esme. Alice was sitting by her Dad looking pitiful, and because I was milk toast, I tossed the two dresses into her lap.

"You don't deserve it." I told her when she looked up at me in shock. "And if you don't quit treating me like crap, I'll get Esme's heavy sewing scissors, sneak into your room and cut them into a billion pieces."

She jumped up and hugged me, squishing Esme's coats between us and kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry, Bella. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I left her there, hugging the dresses to her and turned back to Esme, who was still holding on to her Givenchy. Giggling, motioned for her to put the thing down. "It's not going to run away from you Esme." I unzipped the garment bag and pulled the ivory coat out first. "You gotta put it down to come get this one."

I held the hanger up high so she could see the heavy coat. It was wool, I think, and cut slim, tucked in at the waist and then close fitted like a pencil skirt. It was double breasted, went to about knee length and had a plush fur collar. And by plush, I meant ginormous.

"Ooooooh," Esme said softly, reaching but not touching. "Carlisle, look at it."

"I see it Esme." He chuckled.

"We found this at Vintage At Heart." I told her, "Well, Edward picked this one out while Valerie helped me with all of your dresses."

"It's pristine!" She exclaimed, finally reaching for it.

"Do you like it?"

She went to put it on, and Carlisle stepped up to hold it as she shrugged into it, then she wrapped the front around herself and caressed the fur on the lapels. "Like it? Child, I'm never taking this off! It's gorgeous!"

"That'll work until, say April or May." Carlisle teased, turning her so he could see the front. When she turned back around, she had tears in her eyes. "One more." I promised, and grabbed the second coat.

"This is the style you wear the most often." I told her, removing it from the bag without showing it to her before I was ready. "Valerie picked it out when I showed her a couple pictures of you. If I can get it out of the stupid- Carlisle, help!" Laughing, he came to hold the garment bag up so I could free the skirt on the coat. "She said you looked like a Lilli Ann kind of woman."

This time both she and Alice started screaming before I even had the thing all of the way out. This one hadn't been on the new, unsorted rack, but had been in a display case. It had been just over 3 grand, and I'd almost talked myself out of the one I'd bought for myself, but Edward had said it should be fine. After the way our channel was going nuts, especially after he'd uploaded the footage of me singing at TubeCon, we were definitely going to make back all of the money we spent in New York and then some. Which was good, because between my wedding dress and shoes, and Esme's gifts, I'd about ran through all of the money I'd intended to save.

The coat was cream colored, a bit darker than the other, and fit on the top, but the bottom flared out like a huge skirt, trimmed along the bottom edge with fur that faded cream to brown from top to bottom.

"I saw this one!" Esme was full on bawling, and to be honest, it was making me nervous. "Well I saw one just like it but it was brown, and it had a damaged seam and a tear in the elbow and they wanted ten thousand dollars for it."

"Uh… this one wasn't um… quite that many thousands." I said.

She pulled me into a tight hug. "You beautiful, beautiful child you." She kissed me all over my face and squeezed me again. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you!" She pulled the other coat off, laying it carefully on the couch and slid the Lilli Ann on, buttoning it up. Thank Christ we were the same size, it fit her perfectly.

Esme twirled like a small child, sending the skirt flaring and giggled. "I have a Lilli Ann." She said breathlessly. "Jesus. Bella this is too much."

"It is not!" I argued, catching myself before I stomped my foot. "If it wasn't for you and Carlisle, I'd be in Arizona right now, if I was even still alive." The room sobered at that. "Dad could have wrapped me around a tree right along with him, or he could have let Renee take me back. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have the money anyway so just… plus Edward went halfsies, and it was supposed to be a birthday present but we had nowhere to hide all of this stuff until March 1st, and-and-" My hand clamped over my mouth to muffle the noise when I broke into tears.

Shed of her new coat, Esme pulled me back into her arms. I pressed my forehead to her shoulder and tried to stop blubbering like a ninny. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "I can blame this on the babies, right?"

Esme laughed loudly. "You can absolutely blame this on the babies."

When I thought I didn't look like I'd been crying anymore, I grabbed a can of coke from the fridge and met Edward upstairs.

He wasn't fully asleep yet, but he was close. I turned the lights up as low as possible just long enough to find my night shirt before I shut the window and crawled into bed with Edward, who chugged about half of his soda and laid down, holding my body close to his.

"I heard Mom screaming from up here." He chuckled.

"She really, really liked the Lilli Ann coat." I snort, tucking my head underneath his chin.

"You should wear yours tomorrow. She'll get a kick out of it."

"Yeah, probably. How's your headache?"

"Better."

"Good. Goodnight, Babe. Love you."

"Love you too, wife."

The next morning, I woke up well before the alarms, wide awake though I hadn't slept properly in days. I rubbed a hand over my belly and grumbled "I hope this isn't going to be a habit, guys." I sat up and shoved all of my hair out of my face and took a second to get my bearings. Sitting up made me a little dizzy, and I could only guess that was because of the babies.

Babies.

Twins.

Two little identical boys or girls that would be here in 7 months, give or take, and Edward and I hadn't talked about it at all yet. We were focused, first, on protecting them but now that I was feeling the physical effects of being pregnant, it was turning into more than just an abstract thought. There were two people growing inside of me.

Shaking that thought off for the time being, I grabbed the first coat I came across, which was Edward's, and took Lola out back, dancing in place on the frigid concrete deck because I hadn't put shoes on. Thankfully, she hated the cold and did her business quickly, dashing ahead of me to get back in her nice toasty bed in my room. I followed much slower and turned the lights on their lowest setting to avoid waking Edward and picked out clothes for the day, gathering them and my body wash and towels to go shower in Edward's bathroom.

It was a chore to shower without getting my hair wet, and I made a mental note to get some shower caps if I was going to be wearing my hair straight any more after this. All while I showered I thought about the situation at school and how I was best going to tackle it. I had a very, very tentative plan by the time I got out, and I set the tripod up by the counter so I could talk while I attempted to do my makeup.

"So I'm up early, again. It's about an hour before the time I would usually get up, but I popped up wide awake and decided to try and get my mind right today. I'm still a little… pissed off about how everything went. I mean, I suppose I should have expected it, but I was really enjoying the peace of being in New York. Which is not a thing I think I've heard anyone say ever, but compared to here it was peaceful because there was no negativity. Everyone was just having fun. I think I've decided- Good Lord, where is the sponge thing for this foundation. Okay, new plan: no foundation. I think I can use powder without wearing foundation. That's a thing, right? Didn't Danny tell me that? Jesus Christ, I don't know what I'm doing. And how in the hell am I supposed to do this without my glasses? Okay, new, new plan."

I propped my phone up on the counter and loaded Danny's channel, loading a tutorial for light every day makeup and played it on low.

"There. That's better. What was I saying? Oh, right. So I think I've decided to take one of the cameras with me to school today." I found the appropriate brush and started putting my foundation on, mimicking Danny's tutorial. "I'm not going to say anything, I'm just going to- I might borrow Edward's bag, the one he uses when we go somewhere. It has this window on one of the straps for cellphones, so you can see if someone calls, or reply to texts or something without taking the phone out, I don't know. I'm going to stick the camera in there and just walk through the halls so people can see the level of crap I deal with every day."

I double checked my face in the mirror against the video on my phone and reached for the next product, feeling incredibly stupid with stripes painted on my skin. I focused on blending them in, wetting the sponge as instructed, because I did not want it to be obvious that I had all of these colors on my face when I went outside. It must have been 5 minutes before I remembered that I was supposed to be talking.

"Oops. Anyway. This crap has overshadowed literally everything else. Edward didn't feel good when he got home last night, so we haven't worked out this whole separate room thing, or talked about the baby at all, past trying to protect him. Or her. Now that I'm starting to get sick, it's not that I didn't get it before, but now it's 100% real. There's life in here." I pointed to my stomach with the beauty blender. "That scares the hell out of me. I'm going to be somebody's mom! My own mother is borderline sociopathic and that's in my blood, you know?"

I referenced the video again and noticed that Danny was halfway through applying eye shadow. "Damn it!"

I continued to keep up a verbal stream of consciousness while I applied my makeup, and I was fooling with my hair when Edward knocked. "Bella?"

"Yeah? Come in."

He stepped into the bathroom in jeans and socks, noticed my face and tilted my chin up so he could see better. "It looks good."

"Yeah? Because I'm doing this without my glasses, so don't lie. Tell me if it looks crazy."

"It doesn't." He shut the door behind him. "Did you get up early?"

"Couldn't sleep, so I'm just…chatting."

"You're recording?" He looked over my head at the camera. "In your towel?"

"You can't see anything." I defended, but he sighed. "I wish you hadn't done your makeup yet."

"What?" I frowned. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Absolutely nothing." He reached over me and shut the camera off. As soon as the shutters whirred shut, he yanked my towel free. His arm snaked around my back and he pressed my body into his, eyes flashing. "It just might get a little messed up."

AN: Sorry about the waiting! I did finish the story and I'm deciding, based on the sequel, how much of this content needs to be edited or redone. I don't have a beta so it's just me, and it's hard uploading a Work in Progress because unless I want to constantly be taking chapters down to add or edit details, I need to be sure of every little thing when I write, and for me, it doesn't work that way. So I give it a little lag just in case I want to change something before I upload it. ALSO, yes I know Edward and Bella's children will not be 'half black'. Mike is an idiot. I get a lot of corrections in the comments, but guys... again, just because *I* know something it doesn't mean my characters know it. They are teenagers and don't know everything. That is allowed, you know. Thanks for reading and sticking with me! This story started years ago so it's hard to finish and edit something when I'm not in the same mindset I was when I started it but I'm determined to post the entire story because I do so love my Edward and Bella.