A/N: Long wait, sorry! And short author's note, too. I'm going to see my cousins literally as soon as I finish writing this. Had to say something, though. ;)

Hope you like it! R&R!

Only one girl in the neighborhood was thoroughly unaffected by Rolf, and quite appropriately, he had not been invited to the farm as a potential bride. Jimmy was in the middle of a self-pedicure when Rolf's immodest declarations echoed through the cul-de-sac. He only rolled his eyes and reached for the rose lotion.

Not thirty minutes later, he was standing barefoot at Nazz's front door with panic in his eyes. Nazz heard the knocking and ran to her window. Relieved that it was neither Rolf nor Kevin, she waved kindly, which was apparently the only signal Jimmy needed to yank open the door and dash into her house.

"She was there with you, wasn't she?" he said shakily as he stood in the threshold of her bedroom. His bunny nose was glowing and his puppet hands were quivering.

"Little Dude, you were crying! Come here." Nazz sat on the edge of her mattress, and Jimmy came running with such speed that the inertia from the embrace that followed should have crushed her. But luckily, Jimmy had arms like cattails, which Nazz rubbed tenderly as she whispered, "Yes, she was there. But she's not –"

"Gosh, I'm so stupid! Did you know she's four whole months older than me? Can you believe it? But I always forget." Jimmy picked at the drying french tips on his toes. "We're not kids anymore. She's old enough to go running off with some boy. And she will, with any boy who isn't her brother." His voice hitched. "Or me."

Nazz was the only one Jimmy had trusted enough to confide to about his sexual orientation: head-over-heels straight for Sarah. It was now her mission, three years in the making, to take care of him as Sarah usually did. But she didn't possess the nuances of Sarah's overprotectiveness, and as she glanced at the snot edging towards his lip and the coiffed curls drooping over his eyes, she was about to make another mistake.

"I'm just a girl to her, aren't I?" whimpered Jimmy. "But not Rolf. No, he has arms and abs and... and shoulders, and –"

"Shh, Jimmy!" Nazz interrupted. "Stop worrying! Sarah isn't marrying Rolf. I am."

Jimmy's chest stopped spasming. He sat up and eyed her with astonishment. "What?"

Nazz, realizing what she'd done, threw Jimmy off of her so he lay splayed across her bed and stood. She slapped both hands over her mouth, inadvertently digging herself deeper.

Jimmy woozily pointed at her face. "What do you mean you're – are you wearing garlic?"

Nazz cringed. "Um, yes, yes I am," she said through her fingers. "Because I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be–" She let out a sigh. If someone had to be the first to be told, it might as well be Jimmy. It would at the very least cheer him up. " – well, an engagement ring."

Jimmy's inner sorority sister burst forward with guns blazing. "Oh mylanta!" he exclaimed, leaping off the bed and running to her. He took her hand in his, and examined the ring with a grin. "Wow, that's disgusting!" he said. "But at the same time, cute. Ohmigosh, it kind of looks like a heart! See the little dip right here?"

"I know. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Oh, wow, lucky you." Jimmy smiled sadly and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's really too bad you're gonna have to say no."

Nazz's eyes widened and she smacked Jimmy away.

He whimpered.

"Why the hell would I say no? I'll take a gap year for school if I have to, because I love him and I'm going to marry him."

"But you're dating Kevin."

Nazz fell silent.

"You are dating Kevin, aren't you?"

She'd forgotten. Oh God, she'd forgotten that nobody knew about her and Rolf and Kev and their little triangle business. Nobody was ready to know.

"Or wait..." Jimmy gasped.

She wasn't ready to explain.

"Adulteress!"

"Jimmy..."

"You're not denying it, are you?"

"It's not that simple, Jimmy, it's just... people change, and feelings change and..."

"You think you know a girl. But you know what, Nazz? You're just like Sarah. Fickle! Impulsive! Whatever happened to loving one special boy?" Jimmy gesticulated sharply, and perhaps inadvertently, he indicated himself.

Nazz could tell he was about to cry again. But he wasn't really upset with her.

"I can't believe this," Jimmy blubbered. He collapsed onto Nazz's bed and started fanning his peeling toenails with his hands.

Nazz sat down next to him. He would hate her forever if she touched his clothes with garlic, so she slipped off her ring and placed it gently on the foot of the bed before reaching for his shaking hands. "Jimmy," she begged softly, "can I please say something?" She would explain herself. Anything to calm his neuroses.

Jimmy sniffled for a few moments. "Fine," he said with teeth clenched as he propped himself up on his elbows. "But don't try to feed me any bullpoop, or I'll give you such a pinch!"

Poor kid. Even at his most distraught, he couldn't swear. "Okay," Nazz began. "Rolf and I..."

She tried to look him right in the eye, but her gaze kept returning to his twitching little bunny nose glowing bright red. He was just so freaking young.

"Rolf and I wanted to know – would you like to be my wedding planner?"

Jimmy glared silently for several seconds, but then his mood changed violently. "Boy howdy, would I!" he exclaimed, grabbing onto Nazz's shoulders in glee.

Nazz grinned in relief and squeezed him tight. She could feel the motion of thousands of campy ideas already being born inside his little head, and she thought to herself, Crisis averted. This would keep him happily distracted, enough so that he wouldn't ask any more questions. For a second she wondered if she'd made a terrible mistake – Jimmy had enough hormones in him to stun a rooster, and that might get dangerous. But she shook it off. This was to her benefit, after all. The wedding was going to be fabulous.

Now all she had to do was confirm that the wedding was hers.

Nazz roller-skated to school the next morning with a heavy garbage bag clutched protectively against her stomach. She had a very special delivery to make. Unfortunately, she hadn't calculated the physics behind it – her arms gave out two blocks away from the school, taking the bag and the rest of her body with them.

From several blocks behind her, a voice shouted, "Hey, Nazz!" She hadn't begun inspecting her person for scrapes or tears before she found Kevin leaning down next to her with his bike parked up against the fence. "You okay, babe?"

Nazz nodded and looked around at the spilled contents of her bag. Nothing was lost except for the tomato – her only tomato – which was squished all over the sidewalk and her baby-doll-blue jacket. Damn. She really needed to wash that jacket.

"That's a lot of vegetables." Kevin knelt down and began gathering the produce in his arms. "You never told me you were in the cooking class," he said facetiously as he took the bag from her to put them back inside.

"Yes, that's what they're for," said Nazz quickly. "I just joined Cooking. We're making a vegetable... um, salad." She shook out her aching arms and picked up as much as she could before Kevin could touch them.

Kevin ultimately picked up the final item, however. Nazz's stomach flipped upside down when she saw the tiny thing he was turning around in his hand – her ring. Now of all times was not when she wanted to tell him. Her hope that he would never find out disappeared before her eyes, until Kevin, having no reason to be suspicious of a bulb of garlic, shrugged and tossed it into the bag.

"Hey, I missed you this morning," he said as they both stood. "In a hurry, are ya?"

"No." Nazz looked at the ground as she brushed herself off. "I just like to skate alone sometimes."

"Oh. Sure." Kevin got the message quickly and, with a look of dejection, grabbed onto the handle of his bike. "I'll see you in English, cool?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'd offer to carry that bag for you, but you know," he said as he straddled the bike. "She doesn't really have space for something that big." He leaned over to kiss her, then winked and rode off down the sidewalk, shouting, "You know I love you, babe!" behind him.

Nazz sighed. He always said that: you know I love you. It was like he knew how bad he was at showing it.

Once Kevin was out of sight, she hoisted up the bag and started to move, more slowly this time. She imagined Rolf as he had appeared the afternoon before – proud, rugged, and impassioned, with practically every trait of his that she adored turned up two-hundred percent (except for the body hair, which she prayed would grow back quickly). Mentally, she inhaled deeply and prepared herself for the same sight in a more domestic setting.

In reality, when she found him feeding Victor at the bike rack, he hardly looked different than he had two days before. He wasn't even carrying his new staff. He was just Rolf, the Rolf who still got confused by American idioms, the Rolf who stood out awkwardly as both the tallest and the darkest. The Rolf who, despite all of that, was self-assured as hell. This was the boy Nazz had fallen in love with.

She picked up speed, rolling as fast as she could until she was right in front of him. He didn't notice until she put a hand on Victor's back to steady herself. "Nazz-girl!" he said with slight surprise and a tiny smile.

She shoved the garbage bag into his arms. The feed in his hand clattered to the ground, and Victor bleated angrily.

"Shh! Victor, do not forget, you are a bicycle." Rolf smacked Victor on the bottom, which only made the animal bleat more loudly. Every day, he risked detention or worse for tethering his goat to the bike rack, but all the consequences in the world could not stop him. It was tradition. It was what he did.

"I don't know what your custom is for this, so I brought every vegetable I could," said Nazz breathlessly. "Just tell me when you find the right one."

Rolf raised an eyebrow and sat down cross-legged next to the bag with Victor as his headrest. "Ah... yes, the Moldy Potato of Boredom," he muttered as he sifted through the bag's contents. "The Cucumber of Fear... the Hollowed Gourd of Go Fuck Yourself..."

Nazz blushed. "Oh God. Just ignore those... I didn't know..."

"Rolf is only yanking on your baby toe, Nazz-girl! These particular foods are absolutely meaningless." He laughed as he rifled through the bag, but suddenly, his face fell. "Except for this. You are not returning this to Rolf, are you?"

"I was keeping it in there so I wouldn't lose it." Nazz reached down to take the ring back but forgot about her skates. She leaned too far and collapsed on top of him. He caught her by the shoulders, and besides having spooked Victor, they were both fine. Blushing even harder, she looked up and caught his gaze. "I'm keeping it, Rolf," she whispered. "Because I know what it means. I don't know what else I need to give you, though, so just tell me and I'll get it to you right away."

Rolf gently rolled Nazz onto the ground next to him. He looked at the cloudy sky and chuckled. "Unlearned Nazz-girl! Rolf needs only to see you wear the Bulb of Asking and to hear you say yes." He shifted onto his knees and helped Nazz do the same, holding the garlic dearly in his left hand.

Nazz couldn't feel her arms or her legs, her head or her heart. They were up floating among the dramatic November clouds, busy living out a dream that had never been had. As much as she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Rolf, she had never been able to imagine it, sure that, like a coward, she would one day agree to a reluctant, boring marriage with Kevin. In the mere second it took to glimpse Rolf holding out that ring, that fear lifted off her shoulders.

She wanted this. She had no doubts. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the handlebar of Kevin's bike, positioned so it seemed it was coming right out of the goat's head, and she felt no guilt. That four-year-long mistake was over.

The school bell shrieked, but she didn't hear it. Her focus was on Rolf as he grabbed her by the wrist and held the garlic and twine halfway between their noses. "Nazz-girl wishes to see Rolf enter into manhood, does she not?"

"I totally do."

"Let Rolf see for sure, then. Nazz-girl," he said, "will you marry Rolf?"

Nazz jumped, surprised even though she had expected it fully. With tears in her eyes, she answered. "Oh my God, yes!"

Rolf grinned. "Once you complete your eighteenth year, we shall marry, yes?"

She let him guide her ring finger into the twine. When he finished, she immediately threw her arms around his neck and leaned forward to kiss him. Her lips had barely grazed his when he pushed her away.

"Please, Nazz-girl, be decent," he whispered. "We are simply betrothed. No intimacy is allowed before the wedding." He patted her cheek apologetically and started to make his way towards the school, but not before proudly revealing that he'd somehow hidden his enormous new staff underneath Victor's belly. It struck the seat of Kevin's bike as he hoisted it above his shoulder.

Nazz watched him go with confusion. That stupid rule had come out of absolutely nowhere – they were "intimate" all the time before now. But she couldn't let that bother her. That was her fiancee. Officially.

She was getting married.