Chapter 3

Things were weird. Stefan didn't know if he felt it more than Damon as Damon seemed to act as though nothing had happened. Damon was used to acting like that but Stefan was struggling. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about how much he had enjoyed the feeding last night. It had been so simple, so convenient. Damon fed on the human blood he craved and if Stefan fed from him straight afterwards the blood still tasted as good, with the benefit of the fact that Damon wouldn't be permanently harmed by Stefan losing control. It seemed like a win win, except…it was Damon. All that aside, Stefan was finding that Damon's blood alone wasn't enough to keep him going. He still had to feed from mortal blood sources too. The life force in the blood of animals was still more potent than Damon's dead blood, it just didn't taste as good as his. If only he could have both…

He sat looking into the fire as Damon walked in casually and stopped in front of him. He looked up.

"One a day, just like I promised." Damon gave him a small sincere smile as he pulled a blood bag from his pocket. Stefan stared at it hungrily. "Alaric thinks he's found where Isobel might be hiding out. We're going to go check it out. I need you to be on form today and try and find out what this Gilbert device is." Stefan continued to stare at the blood bag and Damon huffed impatiently. "Stefan, are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Stefan blinked and Damon frowned.

"I need you on form. Don't drink it too quickly."

"No, Damon I can't you saw me last night. I can't handle it." Stefan sat back in the sofa. "It's too strong."

"So dilute it then. Mix it with squirrel or rabbit or something." Damon suggested and Stefan thought about that. That could work.

"Maybe. It works when it mixes with your blood." Stefan mumbled as he considered that and Damon blinked at him and tightened his mouth. "I don't know why but I can control the urge better." Stefan explained and avoided Damon's eyes. Why was he telling him this? Did he want to actually ask Damon to let him drink from him instead of from a human source exclusively? He glanced up to Damon's expression and could see that Damon was frowning and trying to figure out what Stefan was intimating. He had to break the silence somehow.

"So Alaric thinks he's found Isobel?"

"Yeah." Damon seemed a little lost in thought as he answered and ran his thumb over the blood bag. He tucked it back in his pocket carefully and gave Stefan a tight smile. "Find out what this device is. We need to know why she wants it." He instructed and left the room as Stefan shook his head at being idiotic enough to keep bringing up the topic of his feeding needs. Damon rattled around for a while and Stefan pulled out his cell and texted Elena. He had to apologise about last night, if she'd let him. She might be done with him by now. As he typed away on the keypad with vamp speed, Damon walked back into the lounge and sat a glass down next to him. Stefan looked up in surprise but Damon simply left, grabbing his jacket as he closed the door and jumped into his car outside.

Stefan lifted the glass and was surprised to feel its warmth. He sniffed it. It was blood but he couldn't tell what kind. He took a tiny sip in curiosity and hummed as he swallowed. He looked over his shoulder to the front door as he realised what it was. Damon had put some of the blood bag into the glass and added some of his own too. He must have poured it straight from his vein because it was warm. Stefan rose to his feet and entered the kitchen. The half empty blood bag had been put back into the fridge and the knife Damon had used to cut his wrist open was in the sink. Stefan let out a sound of amazement. He couldn't believe Damon would do that for him. This bravado act Damon played really was all an act. Stefan had always known but now Damon was letting what was behind show. Perhaps he could start to trust him again. They had a long way to go to build on trust, but this could be a good start.

He returned to his seat in front of the fire and drank the blood gratefully and slowly as it warmed his insides. Elena agreed they needed to talk and he finished up the blood and headed out to meet her. They had lunch at the Grill. She was unsure of him again and he knew he deserved that, except now that he had been able to drink Damon's mix without needing to have more, he actually felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel. She could see this change in him and perked up a little. He could never tell her that he was still drinking Damon's blood though, that would have to remain a secret. She wouldn't understand.

A few crazy days went past with Damon acting normally and Stefan trying to figure him out still. Stefan had felt rattled and weary when Isobel had reared her head and brought Elena's world crashing down. Stefan had spent most of his time with her trying to get her through the pain of meeting a mother she'd never known she had, who had turned out in the end to be a heartless cruel specimen of vampire-kind. Damon had sulked and refused to help, making their lives as strained as usual. It seemed that he still didn't trust anyone's intentions.

Stefan didn't know how to figure out Damon's mind. He still made snide comments and seemed to hide things from them as though he was suspicious of him and yet he would let Stefan feed on him if he badly needed to. It just didn't make cogent sense to him. Was Damon's humanity on or off? Perhaps Damon didn't even know anymore. The only factor that kept ringing in Stefan's ears was that Damon felt for Elena. He'd suspected it for some time now but having Isobel of all people blatantly pick up on that, made it all the more real. He'd had to have a word with Damon about that. He came across sounding like a jealous boyfriend and he knew that but he had to say something. Damon was sly and clever in his response and made Stefan feel like he'd been played. How did Damon always manage to do that? Stefan had folded his arms and stared him out as Damon smirked.

"All of this arguing…wow! I'm famished." Damon smiled at him evilly, knowing how much it would piss him off. Stefan clenched his jaw. "Would you rather I eat upstairs? Save you the trauma?"

"Why are you doing this?" Stefan spat. Damon had been helping him with this so why was he throwing it back in his face all of a sudden? He knew just how embarrassed and humiliated Stefan was that he had to lean on him for support so heavily.

"Just trying to lighten your load brother." Damon winked.

"And here I thought you wanted to help me."

"Have I not been helping you? Have I not let you drink half of your body weight from me this week?" Damon gave a short laugh and Stefan tensed.

"Are you trying to lighten my load or throw your weight around to demonstrate how much I need you right now?"

"You're the one giving me a warning Stef. I'm just reminding you how accommodating I've been lately."

"You're loving this."

"Yeeees. I love having to let my brother press me against a wall and feed from me while he gets a hard on over my blood." Damon joked and Stefan gasped and scowled at him indignantly.

"I did not!" He roared angrily and Damon shook his head.

"You did." He said sincerely and Stefan's mouth fell open in horror. Damon's humour seemed to fade as Stefan looked to the ground distressed. "It's normal. Don't worry about it. You've just been feeding from animals for so long you've forgotten."

"This has to stop." Stefan groaned putting his head in his hands.

"Ok." Damon said casually and Stefan looked up at him and frowned.

"What are you up to?"

"What do you mean brother?" Damon smiled.

"Feeding me like you have, letting me drink from your veins…what game are you playing?" Stefan stood up and Damon chuckled in surprise.

"This is the thanks I get?"

"Why would you help me? Unless you want to keep me under your thumb for some reason. Why do you care?" Damon took a step back and frowned.

"I don't care. I just don't want you running around killing the locals. I want to stay here for a while." Damon answered tensing at Stefan's scrutiny.

"I don't believe you. How can I trust anything you say Damon? All you do is lie and plot!" Stefan accused and Damon's expression turned hard.

"The feeling is mutual brother." Damon said with venom. "Enjoy your squirrels." Damon leaned in as he spoke the last part and then smirked and walked away casually as Stefan watched him leave. Damn him. Damon always had a reason for every action, Stefan had learned that about him. This had to be some ruse of some kind to get Stefan to depend on him. Then again, there were certainly easier ways of doing so other than sharing your blood with someone for no rewards. Stefan exhaled and put his face in his hands. They'd been enemies for so long. He wasn't sure if he knew how to trust Damon anymore. He wanted to, but should he let his guard down completely?

He sat sulking in the lounge for the rest of the night. Damon didn't re-emerge from his room. He was going to have to deal with the blood on his own from now on. The next morning brought hunger and confliction. Bonnie had done a spell that had backfired and allowed a lot of ghosts to re-enter the fabric of their existence. The tomb vampires that they had disposed of came back and came back with a vengeance. They wanted everyone dead out of bitterness. Stefan needed to be strong enough to protect everyone and he knew he couldn't be strong enough without human blood. It was a painful fact. He sat in the cellar for a while, looking towards the freezer and trying to pull some strength together to open it. He had to. He had to be strong. He'd brought down some rabbit blood with him so that he could try mixing it, like Damon had done for him, but deep down he had a feeling it wouldn't help. He had to try though.

He opened the lid and peered inside. He'd stolen so many blood bags. He hadn't realised until now. He picked one out of the cooler and stared at it for a while before opening it and pouring it into his already half filled mug. It was cold, not the nice warm temperature he liked, but it would have to do. He didn't want to risk the chance of bumping into Damon in the kitchen and showing such obvious signs of weakness – not when Damon was being an ass. He drank it down, grimacing slightly at its flavour. It wasn't great but it was drinkable. He poured the rest from the blood bag and mixed more rabbit in. It would taste so much better warm. He huffed and listened looking up at the ceiling. This was ridiculous. Why should he feel embarrassed about this? This was his house too. He walked upstairs and into the kitchen defiantly shoving the mug into the microwave and pressing start. He sat down at the table and waited, feeling his jitteriness increase as he waited. Damon thumped down the stairs and came into the kitchen ignoring him as he went to the fridge and pulled out a blood bag. He barely looked in Stefan's direction, he was in such a mood and Stefan felt himself fuelled on in his state of ambivalence too. The microwave pinged and it caught Damon's attention. He smirked as Stefan got up and retrieved his mug.

Neither of them spoke to the other as Stefan sat back down and drank from his mug. The taste wasn't much improved and he couldn't conceal his disappointment. It didn't escape Damon's notice as he sucked the blood from his through the tube and watched him.

"What?" Stefan asked tersely, feeling Damon's eyes on him.

"That smells awful."

"What do you care?"

"Just an observation." Stefan looked at him annoyed. "Do you think Bonnie's spell worked?"

"I guess we'll find out later. I've no reason not to trust her." Stefan answered, drinking more from his cup.

"It seemed a little too easy." Damon mused and Stefan smiled sarcastically and shook his head.

"You can't trust anyone can you? Not even for a minute."

"Why should I?" Damon countered.

"Because you have to give to get brother."

"I trust me and that's enough. I can look out for myself. Always had to."

"Whatever." Stefan huffed and finished his cup, sitting it down on the worktop and exiting the kitchen. He had to put some space between them. How right Damon had been in his warnings when the Gilbert device was used against them that night. Stefan and Elena had been walking around trying to find Jeremy when a searing pain like nothing he had ever felt before pierced his brain. He cried out and fell to the ground while Elena clung to him panicking. Elsewhere Damon had fallen to the floor also and been kicked into unconsciousness by John Gilbert.

Damon awoke groggy and sore to the groans of others around him. His head was killing him and he opened his eyes trying to figure out where he was. Someone was moving around, pouring a liquid around the floor as he tried to focus. He turned his head and saw Anna not far from him. John Gilbert was standing over her. She looked so helpless, begging for her life as he plunged the stake into her chest with no qualms. Damon opened his mouth and tried to call out, to beg for her life too but he couldn't utter a sound. As the liquid was poured around him he caught the smell and realised it was gasoline. He was done for. He tried to sit up but fell back weakly.

"Stefan…" He called, as though the act of uttering his brother's name would reach his ears. He knew he was doomed. This was finally his end. He sat up with effort and tried to stand as flames began around him. He could hardly see or breathe as the fire spread rapidly and he leant against a wooden rafter for support as he coughed. He supposed he deserved this really. He looked around at the bodies of the others burning and thrashing around him and held himself still. He wasn't going to go out like that, he was going to just let it happen and give in to it. What did he really have to live for anyway? Katherine had deserted him, Elena was off limits and in love with Stefan anyway. He was just the third wheel. He hung his head and coughed violently as he sagged against the rafter. Then he heard Stefan's voice. He thought he was imagining it at first but then Stefan appeared, scanning the remains desperately. Damon lifted his head in disbelief and Stefan saw him, dashing forward. He couldn't talk, could barely support his own weight but Stefan didn't seem to care that his trousers were on fire as he struggled to half carry him out of there and up to ground level away from the heat and flames. They fell out of the door onto the street and landed on top of each other with a thud.

Damon drew in gasps of air as he tried to clear out his lungs and Stefan held him close, calling his name worriedly. He opened his eyes and Stefan cupped his cheek tenderly.

"Are you ok?"

Damon opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out as his vocal chords tried to heal. He coughed and Stefan frowned concerned. Elena knelt down next to them and looked at Damon too. She cared about him, he knew that, but he still felt a little unprepared for the attention they were giving him.

"Did you find Jeremy?" He heard Bonnie ask and Elena seemed to remember herself as she looked at Stefan in fear.

"I have to find him."

"Go. Damon needs to feed. I'll be right behind you." Stefan advised and she nodded and pulled Bonnie away with her as Damon frowned and tried to sit up. Why wasn't Stefan going with her? He coughed as he tried to ask that question and Stefan stroked his hair back from his face.

"You need to feed." Stefan nodded at him and Damon sighed, giving into his own weakness as Stefan helped him to his feet and walked towards his car. Stefan had been hiding it for a while now but he had an emergency blood bag in the trunk. He just hadn't been able to take the chance he'd lose control and kill someone. He knew he shouldn't carry it around as it was a temptation but right now he was glad of it. As Damon's lungs were healing slowly, he was coughing out puffs of black smoke. It looked frightening and suddenly all of the mistrust and anger he'd been feeling towards Damon faded. Damon sat down in the passenger seat and lay his head back tiredly, while Stefan opened his leather jacket and checked his wounds. He had been burned substantially by the flames and Stefan could tell he was in real pain. He didn't seem to be healing as quickly as usual. Perhaps the device was to blame for that somehow.

"Relax brother." Stefan advised and Damon nodded and closed his eyes while Stefan went to his trunk and opened it nervously. Was he going to be able to stand the smell and sight of the blood as Damon was drinking it? He lifted it and closed the boot. He had no choice in the matter. He came back around and leant against the inside of the door, handing the bag to Damon. Damon stared at it in surprise and looked up at him with a concerned expression. Stefan gave him a nod of encouragement, ignoring the fear that was evident in Damon's expression. Damon didn't agree with Stefan's choice to have this with him. They'd deal with that later probably. Damon opened the bag quickly and put it to his mouth as the veins in his eyes protruded. He closed his eyes again as he drank and his body began to heal. Stefan held himself on the spot and closed his eyes as he listened to Damon's enjoyment. Perhaps if he concentrated on Damon's sounds, he could imagine he was feeding too and it would distract his desire to grab the bag from him. He felt his eyes tingle insistently and he turned himself away to breathe and control his hunger. It was so difficult and his body began to tremble under the strain as he tried to meditate and focus on something else.

He felt Damon squeeze his hand after a few minutes and he turned around to face him again, still breathing deeply and with fangs aching. Damon looked calm, too calm when faced with Stefan hanging by a thread. Damon bit into his wrist and held it out to him. Stefan exhaled and looked at him pained.

"You won't hurt me." Damon encouraged gently and Stefan gave a short nod of understanding and kneeled down and took his wrist, biting in again and drinking urgently. He shouldn't be taking this from Damon when Damon was healing but he couldn't stop. Damon lay his hand gently on top of Stefan's head and Stefan relaxed, drinking until he heard footsteps approaching them. He pulled his teeth out and wiped his mouth on his sleeve as Damon pulled his shirt sleeves back down to hide the evidence. Stefan turned around and stood up again in time to see Elena and Jeremy heading over to them.

"Everyone ok?" Stefan gulped, feeling a slight blush spread over his cheeks as he felt guilt swell in him. Why did he feel guilty? Elena hugged him as Jeremy stood by grumpy and scowling.

"He's lost Anna." She explained and Jeremy came forward tense and ready for confrontation.

"Have you seen her? They took her away and I haven't been able to find her." Damon sighed and everyone looked to him as he looked to Jeremy with remorse. Jeremy swallowed bile and his eyes widened as Damon looked at him silently.

"No…" He choked.

"I'm sorry. I know you cared about her. I tried to help her but…I couldn't." Damon said sadly and Jeremy's eyes filled with tears as he backed away.

"Jer!" Elena called as Jeremy took off running. Stefan rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Give him some time." Stefan advised and she folded into his embrace again as she closed her eyes in torment. She opened her eyes and noticed Damon's clothing burnt and damaged.

"Are you ok?" She asked him and he gave a weak smile. Stefan turned to look at him too.

"I'm going to get Damon home. Check on Jeremy. Call me if you need me." Stefan stroked her cheeks and she nodded and kissed him softly before following in Jeremy's direction.

"What are you doing? Go after her Stefan. I'm fine." Damon grumbled and Stefan closed the door locking Damon inside and stepped around to climb in. He didn't want to argue, he just wanted some space from anyone human. They drove back in silence and Stefan was so glad. The silence was a comforting buffer from reality. He helped Damon back inside of the house, with Damon trying to manage on his own defiantly.

"I'll get you another blood bag." Stefan offered as Damon sat on the sofa. Before Damon could argue Stefan was gone and back again. Stefan handed it to him.

"Do you want me to heat it up for you?" He offered and Damon squinted at him suspiciously. "It's better warm."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Stefan asked confused.

"Are you hungry?" Damon ripped the top of the bag open as he spoke and Stefan's stomach rumbled automatically.

"I'm ok. You need to heal." Damon sighed and began to drink. Stefan moved to the fireplace and put some logs on to give himself some distraction.

"It really helps you doesn't it?" Damon asked quietly and Stefan turned to look at him in question. "Drinking from me instead." Damon added and Stefan bit his lip nervously. Damon nodded.

"You could have died tonight, blundering down there to get me. What were you thinking?"

"You're my brother." Stefan frowned.

"I've tried to ruin your life for decades. Familial obligations don't cut it anymore."

"They do for me." Stefan defended.

"Is it because you want to feed on me?" Damon asked and Stefan stood up, hurt by the insinuation.

"For god sake!" Stefan huffed annoyed and Damon eyed him carefully.

"Once a day."

"Huh?" Stefan's nerves were fried and Damon was making no sense today.

"Feed on me once a day then. It'll make you stronger and I won't have to worry about you spiralling."

"I thought you didn't want me to feed on you." Stefan folded his arms.

"Not if that's all you care about Stefan." Damon explained and Stefan softened a little and sat down next to him.

"I used to trust you above everyone else. I want that back. I can't do this if you're going to use it against me." Stefan said seriously. "Will you? I can't understand why else you would do this for me." Damon thought for a long minute on how to answer as Stefan waited patiently.

"You're all I've got." Damon said, looking at him sincerely and Stefan relaxed his body. "Now just swallow your pride and take what you need brother." Damon tilted his neck in invitation and Stefan didn't need to be told twice as he leaned into him and bit down. The blood was so warm and healing that he let himself get carried along with it. Damon's heartbeat helped surge the liquid towards his lips and Stefan held him closer to catch it all. This was the epitome of pleasure as a vampire and he'd denied himself so long. If he could have this regularly he could be so much happier and stronger, ready to face whatever came their way here. He hummed as Damon became less resistant to his embrace. Damon let out a small sound of pleasure and Stefan swallowed and pulled up. He had to be careful. Blood sharing was still very intimate. As long as they didn't start sharing each others, it wasn't really weird or wrong.

"Thank you." He sighed and Damon gave a small smile and yawned. "Thank you for being my brother." Stefan added, full of emotion. His protective big brother was still in there, just below the surface.

"I advise not telling Elena about this. She wouldn't get it." Damon said and Stefan nodded in full agreement. It wasn't that they had anything to hide, it was just that she wouldn't understand. "Good night brother." Damon got up tiredly and headed to bed as Stefan sat back and smiled to himself content.