Hi, so thanks for everything again as usual :) So, the show is confusing, the New York side I don't even know what they're doing. I've been watching for details that I might want to include here but so far I haven't seen many except for whatever is going on in Rachel and Kurt's life but they don't really pertain to Quinntana so you, you know, yeah. Haha, anyway, somethings I'll take from the show and other things I'll leave out and pretend they've never happened, you know like Finn beating up poor Brody and whatnot. Anyway, enjoy! :)
"I cannot believe you just fell up the stairs, oh my god, tripping is understandable but you literally fell! Who even does that?" Quinn was near tears laughing at a very disgruntled Santana who was storming down the hall, wiping off her pants in the process.
"Whoever walks up them behind you I would assume." Santana mumbled as they reached the door and she looked through her purse for the keys. Quinn snorted not knowing if she meant for her to hear that or not.
Santana finally found the keys and moved to unlock the door but Quinn quickly grabbed her wrist, effectively halting her movements, "Before we go in there, I just want to tell you I had a lovely day and apologize for some of the things I said earlier." Quinn said quietly while Santana searched her eyes.
"It's fine, I mean I get it, you're not used to not getting what you want and since it's me that probably makes it about a million times worse." She responded with a smirk that caused Quinn to roll her eyes, "But I had a lovely day too." She added with emphasis on lovely, mocking Quinn.
She tried to shake off Quinn's hand that was still holding her wrist but Quinn's grip tightened, "Wait." She said quickly, stopping Santana again. It's probably now or never, Quinn thought.
Santana sighed and turned to face Quinn again, "What now?" She asked slightly annoyed.
Quinn studied Santana for a moment before she took a breath and closed the distance between them pressing her lips to Santana's and putting her free hand on Santana's waist. She felt Santana stiffen but she didn't push Quinn away and after a moment Santana shook Quinn's hand off her wrist as she started to kiss back and put her arms loosely around Quinn's neck.
Quinn put her now free hand on the other side of Santana's waist and pulled her in a little closer and to her surprise, Santana leaned her body into Quinn's. Quinn didn't expect Santana's response to be like this but she wasn't about to argue with it and continued kissing her. After a moment she felt Santana slowly starting to pull back so she opened her eyes to find Santana's staring back at her but of course containing no emotion or expression of any sort, which Quinn thought was at least better than a scowl or her starting to freak out.
Santana's eyes suddenly flew passed Quinn's head before either of them could say anything as they both heard that familiar voice with several footsteps in tow and Santana quickly stumbled a step backwards. Quinn gathered herself and turned her head with a smile to greet them as they walked to the door beside them. Rachel stood with Brody on one side and Kurt on the other with who she assumed must be Adam.
"We weren't expecting you guys to be back yet!" Rachel exclaimed with a smile.
Santana remained silent as Quinn glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, "Uh, yeah no, we just got back." Quinn said quickly studying the group before her.
She made eye contact with Kurt who was eyeing them curiously before introducing Adam, "Quinn, this is Adam, Adam, Quinn." He said quickly. Quinn smiled and held out her hand and Adam shook it with a warm grin of his own, "So are you going to let us in or are we all just going to stand out here awkwardly all day?" Kurt asked directing his attention to Santana.
Santana cleared her throat and shook her head, "Oh yeah, sorry." She mumbled as she turned to the door to unlock it. She quickly made her way inside, throwing her keys and purse on the table by the door and made her way to the bathroom.
"What's her problem?" Adam asked as he situated himself on the couch beside Kurt who had Rachel on his other side.
Quinn shrugged as she mindlessly watched Brody wander into the kitchen, "She probably just had to go really bad." She said quickly as she sat on the arm of the couch by Rachel and seemed to satisfy his curiosity.
"So you're both still alive, did you have a nice time?" Kurt asked looking up at her.
Quinn turned to face him, "Uh, yeah, we just walked around a bit and went to that park over…somewhere." She said waving her hand to the side trying to explain since she didn't know where it was in relation to where they were.
Kurt nodded skeptically and Rachel smiled, "That's good! I'm glad you guys are working things out after yesterday." She said happily.
"Do you two not get along? I thought Santana got along with everyone." Adam said sarcastically.
"She's just one of those people you have to get used to, right Quinn?" Brody asked making his way into the room with a sandwich in tow as he sat down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table to face everyone.
Quinn nodded with a grin when Santana came out of the bathroom, "I'll be in my room so I don't get sick listening to you all fawn over Fabray before she leaves." She announced as she quickly shuffled into her room not waiting for a response.
"Charming." Kurt said as he continued looking at Quinn, "Can I speak with you for a moment, Quinn?" He asked standing up and walking towards the kitchen. Quinn eyed him curiously before she stood up and followed him, leaving Rachel to try to explain to Adam and Brody that Santana isn't that bad when you get to know her.
"Can I help you?" Quinn asked as she reached Kurt who was leaning against the counter just staring at her, "Okay, I know you haven't seen me in a while but I can't be that fascinating." She stated crossing her arms over her chest when he didn't say anything.
"Oh, well I must disagree, you have a very intriguing classic beauty about yourself," He said and she waved off the compliment waiting for him to get to the point, "Did we interrupt something out there?" He asked quietly as he cocked his head to the side, still studying Quinn.
Quinn feigned confusion, "What are you talking about?"
"You didn't just get back because you were both just standing there, awkwardly might I add." He stated, his expression not changing.
Quinn thought quickly, "Well, I thought you guys were still home so I wanted to tell her thanks for not being a bitch and stuff before we came in here and she started acting like that again. That's all." She stated calmly with a shrug.
"Okay." Kurt said quickly before he quickly made his way into the living room. Quinn eyed him curiously as he stopped at the foot of the coffee table and clapped his hands together to gather everyone's attention, "Santana!" He yelled and Quinn panicked slightly not knowing what he was doing after their conversation.
Santana poked her head out of her curtain a moment later, "What?" She asked, irritated.
"Okay, now that I have everyone's attention, I thought we could all take a cab and accompany Miss Fabray to the metro station and after we see her off, we could all hang out and go to dinner together!" He stated excitedly.
Quinn watched Santana from her spot in the kitchen and saw a flash of what she could only describe as horror flash across her face before she said, "That's all you had to say? Well, I'll have to decline, I've had a long day and would prefer resting, thanks." Santana stated before she snaked her head back and left the conversation.
Kurt stared back at her curtain for a minute before he turned around and clapped his hands again, "Okay, well everyone else?" He asked hopefully.
Brody shrugged at Rachel who nodded her head and Adam of course agreed, "Well, okay, Quinn, you should probably get your stuff together and say bye to grouchy pants!" He added, turning his attention to Quinn.
Quinn cleared her throat, "Uh yeah, I guess." She said giving him a curious look. The remainder of the group chatted amongst themselves as she grabbed her bag and made her way to the bathroom. She grabbed her toothbrush and other various toiletries and threw them in her bag before she picked up the clothes she left on the floor when she took a shower earlier. She sighed as she stood up and gave herself a onceover in the mirror to make sure she still looked okay and made her way out.
She quickly walked by everyone and peeked into Santana's room and saw her lying on her bed but Quinn could tell she was still awake. She slid in the room quietly and put her bag down as she reached around the nightstand and unplugged her cell phone charger. Santana opened her eyes and turned over when she heard Quinn as Quinn glanced over the room to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything.
Once she was sure she had everything, Quinn turned her attention to Santana, "So why don't you wanna go?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest.
Santana studied Quinn for a moment as she sat up and crossed her legs facing Quinn. She put her hands in her lap and the look on her face made her seem innocent just sitting there looking at Quinn but Quinn could tell her looks were about to deceive her as soon as she opened her mouth, "I'm not sure I can go the whole car ride without strangling you, actually."
Quinn scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Why, because you kissed me?"
"I kissed you? Really? I'm pretty sure you're the one who made the move, not me." Santana said with a scowl.
"Don't even pretend you didn't kiss me back, Santana. You could've easily pushed me back or pulled away or even turned your head before it even happened, however, you did the exact opposite." Quinn stated as she shifted her weight from one foot to another, getting irritated.
"And?" Santana asked with a shrug.
"And? Santana, you just acted like you were pissed at me for kissing you in the first place and now you're completely ignoring the fact that I'm not the only guilty party here." Quinn said with a sigh.
"Why does it even matter, it's not changing anything." Santana stated simply.
Quinn rolled her eyes with a scoff, "Okay, so you're telling me when you wrapped your arms around my neck and leaned yourself into me, that right there didn't make you feel anything that might make you change your mind?"
Santana shrugged as she shook her head, "The only thing it made me feel was déjà vu from the first time we kissed and I was shocked at what an awesome kisser you are."
Quinn smirked slightly despite her frustration and Santana scowled, "Don't think you're making progress with whatever plan you have formulating in that blonde head of yours' okay, the only thing that that would've changed is the fact that I definitely wouldn't mind having a physical relationship with you," Quinn cocked her head as Santana continued, "And you know why that doesn't benefit you? Because you can't put your feelings aside and live with having me but not really having me, I on the other hand even if I did have feelings for you, could control myself and since I don't I'm very much capable of keeping any that might form at bay, trust me, I've done it millions of times."
Quinn slowly nodded her head, she could work with this, "What if I told you that'd I'd be okay with that?" She asked lowly as she sat on the edge of the bed, propping her leg up so she can face Santana.
Santana chuckled, "Well you could tell me whatever you want, that doesn't mean I should or will believe you."
"That is your problem, Santana, you don't trust anyone. Ever," Quinn said rolling her eyes, "The most honest person in the world could tell you something that is proven to be true and you'd still doubt them."
"Is that really such a bad thing, Quinn? I'm not naïve like Berry or always see the good in people like either of you do and how many times have I been disappointed or hurt compared to you two because of it?" Santana asked, getting serious now.
"And how often are you happy with where you are and what you're doing with yourself because of it? At least in the meantime Rachel and I are happy with what we're doing when it's happening and not always being worried about the possibility of whatever it is not working out or that we're constantly being lied to or that everyone is set out to hurt us. Do you know how hard it was for me to trust anyone again after my own father kicked me out of the house, practically out of the family? It took me years before I could even trust my mother again, Santana, but I got over it… After my accident I realized that I need to stop being such a selfish bitch and pushing people away all the time before it's too late for me to apologize or make up for it."
She paused to study Santana's face for a moment, her brow was furrowed slightly and she looked like she was listening intently. She continued with a sigh, "What I'm trying to say is, I get it okay? Your trust has been broken by your abuela, your best friend slash girlfriend, etcetera, the same has happened to me before but that accident made me realize that your life can be cut short just like that," She emphasized with a snap of her fingers, "You shouldn't spend it miserable and pushing everyone else that cares about you away because you're afraid they might hurt you when in reality, at least for the time being, which is what really matters, they could make you the happiest person in the world." Quinn finished, trying to keep her tears at bay.
Santana's eyes were flickering quickly back and forth between Quinn's watery ones, "I'm not strong like you, Q, okay, you and I both know I'm not the hard ass I pretend to be. I know I'm practically numb to other people's feelings, hell even my own but that doesn't change the fact that I hate when they get hurt. It makes me feel like shit, like sure I could ignore the fact that I was in love with Brittany for the longest time, that wasn't the hard part, the hard part was the fact that when I actually opened up and expressed those feelings, she shot me down for fucking Artie of all people. I can keep them to myself and everything can be okay, it's just when they're out there and someone stomps all over them, that's when I feel like fucking shit and I hate it so much. It hurts."
"Do you think no one else feels that way? Oh, if I keep it to myself I can't get hurt. No one likes getting their feelings hurt, Santana, it's just something you have to deal with every now and then." Quinn said softly.
"I don't give a shit about anyone else trying to hurt me okay, it's the people I'm closest to, it's like no matter what I do they all end up hurting me somehow anyway. People close to you aren't supposed to do that, they're supposed to love you and make sure no one else does it."
Quinn watched Santana for a moment, she could see the hurt in her eyes, "Why did you date Brittany then?" She asked quietly and Santana gave her a confused angry look so she elaborated, "I mean, she only started dating you after she broke up with him right? But she didn't break up with him for you almost like she felt obligated to be with you after what you told her, so why did you go with it? You didn't doubt her or anything." She said quietly hoping she didn't cross any sort of line.
Santana thought for a moment before she let out a humorless laugh that ended up sounding just sad, "You're right, but it's Brittany I mean who would doubt her or question the trust you can put in her? She's as sweet and innocent as they come," She said quietly thinking for another moment, "But I mean the past is the past and the trust I put in her is probably half the reason I am right now the way I am. I'm definitely not the same person I was then."
"You don't have to be like that though, Santana. You treated Rachel and Kurt horribly throughout high school yet they still let you into their lives, into their home and accepted you as a part of their family. Do you think it was an easy decision for them to do that for you and what you've done to them?" Quinn said, sounding tired, she was done with the arguing and trying to convince Santana that this won't be a bad decision, "You haven't exactly been an angel to me before either yet here I am trying my hardest to convince you to give us a chance, do you think if I legitimately thought this was a bad idea that I would even be sitting here?"
Santana sighed, "I get what you're saying, Q, I just…I don't know okay?"
Quinn nodded slowly and looked down as she started pulling on a loose string on her skirt, "Will you at least promise me you'll think about what I said?"
"Which part?" Santana asked. Quinn could feel her staring at her.
"When I brought up my accident…You know that your life could be taken from you so suddenly that if you had the chance to look back on everything you did, you'd end up regretting not going for the girl or being a bitch to this person all the time and not working things out with someone else you had a falling out with like…that part?"
"The doing things that you know will make you happy and not worrying about how it'll turn out part?" She said, more of a statement than an actual question but Quinn nodded her response, "Yeah, I will."
Quinn stood up with a nod and a small smile, "I should probably get out there so we can go." She said slowly as she turned around to face Santana who was scooting across the bed to stand up in front of her.
"Yeah, I guess," She said quietly as she stood, "Lemme know when you get there, 'kay? And be careful."
Quinn nodded and hesitated for a moment before she took a step forward and pulled Santana in for a hug, who quickly responded hugging her back, "I'm gonna miss you." Quinn mumbled into Santana's shoulder.
Santana pulled back but didn't step out of Quinn's embrace, "Don't get all sappy now, Fabray, I told you I'll come see you soon." She said with a stern but soft voice.
Quinn grinned but hesitated again. There were three words she really wanted to say but didn't know in what context she meant or how Santana would take it. After a moment of looking at each other Santana finally asked, "What?"
Quinn shook those words out of her head, "I-Nothing I just," Quinn stuttered a bit as Santana leant her head forward urging her to finish her sentence, "I just…think…you're really beautiful." She ended in a whispered tone. She wanted to slap herself because that probably wasn't the best thing to say right now, but she couldn't help it.
Santana sucked in a quick breath and closed her eyes for a moment and Quinn thought she was about to get another rant. To her surprise when Santana opened her eyes she just took a step back out of Quinn's arms and gave her a small smile, "Thank you." She said just loud enough Quinn could hear as she leaned down and grabbed Quinn's bag to hand to her.
Quinn let out a sigh of relief as she put the strap over her should and walked towards the curtain, she turned around before she walked out, "Bye." She said with a small wave.
Santana returned the wave, "Bye." She said quietly and Quinn turned around and walked out of the room.
She took a deep breath to gather herself and in the process ran into a yelling Kurt, "The cab-," He reached out and steadied Quinn with a giggle and lowered his voice, "Is here…sorry." He said and she playfully swatted him on the arm as she walked by him and towards the door. She grabbed her purse and coat and turned around to make sure everyone was following suit.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked, standing in front of her with Brody by her side ready to go.
Quinn glanced by them back to Adam and Kurt who gave her a seemingly sad smile before she turned her attention back to Rachel, "Yeah, let's go." She said quietly with a small grin and she turned around and made her way out the door.