The Water is Wide

Chapter 8

Mermaid's Song

"You tried; that's all I can ask for."

Estelle looked up from the map and her eyes met with mine. I was trapped in her hazel gaze once more and again I found I had no strength and no desire to look away. Again I felt the sudden urge to promise her things it would be unwise to promise. I knew it would be best to look away before such promises broke forth, but I did not have the strength or courage to do so.

Fortunately Mr. Tumnus entered at that moment with our food and Estelle turned to look at him. She moved to help the Faun, who had come alone with a good deal of food, while I immediately rolled up the map and began stacking the papers to move. When I looked back up, Lucy was staring at me with a curious grin.

"What?" I asked, fearing the answer. My younger sister was quite observant.

Lucy's grin grew deeper as she leaned across the table to whisper, "Someone's smitten. And by 'someone' I obviously mean you."

I rolled my eyes and moved away with the stack of papers. "Don't be ridiculous, Lu. I only just met the girl."

"You didn't just 'meet' her, Edmund," Lucy said following after me. "You rescued her. You were her knight in shining armor…without the armor…at the time."

"You're being ridiculous."

"You care for her," she countered.

"Of course I care," I said a bit hastily. Lucy looked victorious until I added, "I'm a King. I care for all my subjects, however far from the Cair they may live."

"Ha!" Lucy laughed. "Now who's being ridiculous? I have no doubt that you do earnestly care for all your subjects, as do I, but I bet you don't desire to personally promise your protection to all of your subjects."

I nearly gapped. How did she know?

"I'm your sister, Edmund. I know these things," Lucy said as though reading my thoughts.

"You're being ridiculous, Lucy. Estelle is just a girl we happened upon at sea. I care for her happiness and well being simply because I am her King, and I took an oath before Aslan to protect those I serve. I would care for any Narnian just the same if they were in her predicament. Do not read more than what there is."

"Believe what you must, dear Brother of mine, but, when you do acknowledge your true desires, do not fault me if I should say 'I informed you thusly.'"

"Lucy, breakfast is here. Are you not hungry?" Estelle asked.

"I'm famished!" Lucy exclaimed ardently as she joined Estelle at the table as though we were not just talking about her.

I found I had no desire to stay and dine with them for fear I would become trapped in those hazel eyes once more. Not wanting to be rude and just leave, I took a bit of fruit and excused myself, claiming I had forgotten to mention something to the Captain that could not wait. Estelle seemed none the wiser to my true intentions, but Lucy gave me a knowing smile. I left without further delay. That night I was invited to dine with them, but I declined. Also that night, however, I regained control of my quarters. Lucy and Estelle had decided that the bed in Lucy's cabin was big enough for two, and so Lucy had moved back in.

Over the next few days I fell into a routine. I would rise early and make my way up to the high deck and watch the sunrise. Just as the sun made its final stretch over the horizon, I would hear the Mermaid's song. Each morning she would sing the same beautiful song. I had yet to spot her, but Mermaids, like nymphs, could remain hidden if they so desired. I only knew it was a Mermaid by the purity of the voice; I had never heard such purity from any other creature. I could not understand the words, but that did not diminish their beauty. The Mermaid's song would ignite a fire within me which would give me the strength to endure each day. And each day I felt I needed that extra strength because it became a part of my routine to avoid Lucy and Estelle and decline their invitations to dine.

Just over a week into my new routine, I found it interrupted. I arose a bit earlier than I had been and decided to take a walk around the main deck before heading up to watch the sunrise. The eastern horizon had a thin gleam of morning light, while the western sky was still spotted with stars. Some of the oil lamps still burned, but many had been extinguished already. Between the starlight, the remaining lamp light, and the early morning light, there was still plenty of light to see by. I had made a round over the deck and was about to begin my trek to the high deck when I noticed something peculiar. It was a knot on one of the aft hitches. The hitch had caught my attention simply because I knew it to be one that had given us some problem over the last few days; it had not wanted to stay tied for one reason or another. The thing that stood out at the time, was the type of knot that had most recently been used to secure it. It was not a knot I was familiar with. I walked over to examine it more closely.

"Good morning, King Edmund." I had been so intrigued by the knot that I did not notice anyone approaching.

"Estelle," I said, turning towards the voice. "Good morning, and just 'Edmund' will be fine; you do not need to add the king unless you so desire. 'Ed' works too, but never 'Eddie.'"

"You've heard of my foolishness then?"

"Not foolishness, Estelle. How could you have known? I find it humbling. But I am curious. How do you suppose a King or Queen should act?"

"I…I don't know. I've never met one before. But the very name of the Empress strikes fear in my heart."

"It is the same in mine. You need not fear her anymore. Jadis is dead and she can plaque this land no more. That is enough talk of her though. You're up early. Trouble sleeping?" Estelle nodded slowly. "Has Lucy been kicking in her sleep again? I should have warned about that tendency."

Estelle laughed softly. "Yes, you should have. I think she left a bruise on me the other morning. Do not tell her I told you that though."

"Mum's the word," I replied.

"That is not what wakes me today, though." Her voice was suddenly glum.

"What is it?"

She looked out to sea. "There are some images I'd rather forget, but I'm finding it hard to do so."

I knew at once what she meant as sudden images of fallen Narnians who were under my command floated before my eyes. I quickly shook them away, knowing Estelle was seeing something vastly different.

"Is everything all right?" she asked suddenly. I looked up to find her watching me, all traces of her haunting images gone from her eyes. "You were examining that knot rather closely. Is something wrong?"

"No, not exactly. Everything seems to be in order, it's just…I'm not familiar with this particular knot."

"It's an island twist. Papa taught it to me years ago. It was a bit difficult to do with such a thick rope, but I managed it after awhile. It should hold now."

"You tied this?" I asked. I had been trying to teach Lucy to tie a proper sailing knot for years now, but she could not seem to grasp it. I was amazed that Estelle seemed quite capable of it.

"I saw that it was undone when I came over here, and I've noticed the sailors tying it many times before. I thought the island twist would hold better. I hope it was all right to do so."

"That's…that's…no…I mean, yes. That's fine. I have no problem with it, in fact I thank you. You must forgive me. I'm just…surprised. I've been trying to teach Lucy to tie a knot, but she just can't grasp it."

"Well, perhaps she is not to blame."

I was astounded. Had she just insulted my teaching abilities?

"That was not meant against you," she quickly added. "I only mean to say that Lucy is a girl; as am I. I think there may be some things that boys are just better at, and tying sailing knots may be one of them. I know my knots are good, but Papa's were always better. Even Heulyn's knots sometimes bested mine."

"Well, Lucy is certainly better at tying bows than I am."

Estelle laughed, and I was caught off guard by how musical and enchanting it sounded. Musical. I suddenly looked to the east. The sun had nearly fully risen; if I didn't hurry I might miss the Mermaid's song.

"Estelle, have you ever heard a Mermaid sing?"

"No, I haven't. Why do you ask?"

"There has been one following us the past week, and every morning at sunrise she sings the most…enchanting song I've ever heard. Will you join me on the high deck and listen with me?"

"Oh…all right," she said a bit hesitantly. But then she smiled warmly and her eyes lit up. I returned her smile before leading the way up to the poop deck and then climbing the ladder to the high deck above. I offered her my hand and helped her rise to her feet, and then I led her to the rail where we could look out over the sea together.

"So, what is this song the Mermaid sings?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "I don't understand the words. I think it's in a different language even. If I could find her, I would ask her the meaning."

"You mean, you haven't actually seen the Mermaid singing?"

"No, but Mermaids are a form of water nymph and like their cousin the Naiad, they can hide easily in the water. The sun is almost up, she should begin soon."

I watched the sun finish its ascent and waited, but there was no song. Where was the Mermaid? Had she stopped following us at last? Would I never hear the song or the voice which sang it again? I waited a bit longer, but when it become evident that she would not sing I opened my eyes to find Estelle waiting expectantly. I had promised her the most beautiful song, and I failed her…again.

"I'm sorry, Estelle. The Mermaid, she…she must have left us in the night. Perhaps we've sailed too far for her now. They don't much like venturing out of their areas of comfort."

"Please, Edmund, tell me. Did the song…did it sound a little like this?"

Estelle bit her lip nervously, and then she sang. She sang with a voice so clear, and so pure I thought I'd never heard the likes of it before. But then I realized, as the words I could not understand flowed through me, I had heard the likes of her voice. For it was the voice and the song I so longed to hear. It was the very reason I strived to rise early every morning since I first discovered the beauty of the song. She sang the song in its entirety without faltering or hardly pausing for breath. And as she sang I felt that familiar fire, only this time the simple flame was like furnace, bright and strong, consuming me completely and wholly.