Chapter 11

Stefan squeezed his throat a little in warning for him not to fight back. He was insanely turned on and he had no idea why. Why would fighting with him, wanting to hurt him, turn him on? He should be frightened by this development. This was so unlike him. He liked making love, slowly and tenderly. He wasn't into 'fucking' as Damon so delicately put it at times and he certainly wasn't into holding someone down while he did, but this was Damon. Damon could fight back if he wanted to, he could trust that. Elena couldn't put up resistance against him if she didn't like something and he'd never want to take the chance that he'd hurt her. Damon was such a smug, irritating…yeah he wanted to throw him around and hurt him a little bit, safe in the knowledge he would heal and stop him if he went too far. It was yet another liberating moment as Damon's face turned red from the squeezing. Still, he didn't stop him, instead tilting up into his hand as Stefan continued to tease his erection. He looked frightened but turned on too. Stefan leant down to his ear menacingly.

"I'm the best you've ever had!" He hissed and Damon made a small gasping sound. "Allow me to demonstrate." He released Damon's member and yanked his jeans down abruptly. Damon tried to sit up in shock so Stefan pushed him forcefully back down onto his back.

"Stefan stop!" Damon panted and watched with wary eyes as Stefan unzipped and freed himself. Damon looked down to his erection and inhaled sharply. Stefan pulled his legs forward to nestle between them and Damon growled suddenly and threw himself forward, knocking them both off of the sofa onto the floor. Stefan fell back, with Damon on top of him, stunned for a second as he hit his head on the floor. Now it was Damon who began to punch him and wrestle with his arms.

"Stop!" Stefan shouted, beginning to tire of the assault. His adrenaline was vanishing now. Damon was just too strong, he had much more endurance. Damon seemed to read his change in vigour and held him down by his shoulders as they both gasped for air like dying fish.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Damon shouted angrily, slamming him into the floor. Stefan's face creased in pain for a second as he tried to fight off the impending storm of emotion steadily heading towards him now that the fog of anger was fading. "What do you want?" Damon still shouted but a little less vehemently as he watched Stefan's expression.

"Nothing!" Stefan shouted back, but his face flushed as he felt his chest tighten. Elena and he were over. He wanted to hide from the pain he knew was going to rip him apart. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He wanted to die. He let out a small sob of anger, heartbreak and frustration and Damon calmed a little.

"Stefan…" Damon snarled exasperated and Stefan looked in his eyes.

"Make me forget for a while." He mumbled pleadingly and Damon gave out a huge sigh.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Damon shook his head and Stefan felt his anger renew. He had given Damon what he needed last night.

"No?!" Stefan growled and Damon shook his head and frowned at Stefan's unexpected response. Stefan tried to move to grab him angrily and Damon pushed his body weight down and slammed him into the floor again. "You get to say no after everything you did today?" Stefan barked and Damon's head swam in disbelief. Stefan growled again struggling against him and Damon was forced to slam his fist into his jaw to calm him. Stefan coughed and spat some blood from his mouth and Damon sat up, thinking. Stefan wanted it rough, he needed it. Fine. He could play it his way. He reached down and removed Stefan jeans as Stefan looked up at him in surprise. Damon snarled as he removed them and lifted his legs to pull them off completely.

"This is what you want? You want me to fuck you?!"

"Yes!" Stefan said firmly with anger still evident in his voice. Damon dropped his legs back to the floor as Stefan's breathing picked up.

"Be careful what you wish for Stefan." Damon growled and turned him over onto his front forcefully, holding Stefan down at the back of his neck so he couldn't move. He used his knees to spread Stefan's legs apart and Stefan held still, trying to calm his heart as he waited for what was going to happen next. Damon leaned on top of him, squashing him into the floor as Stefan wheezed from the weight.

"Don't move." Damon's instructions were crystal clear and venomous. He meant business and Stefan tried to nod in affirmation as he closed his eyes. He was expecting pain. Damon was gentle when he had pushed into him gradually last night but he could tell Damon wasn't in the mood for playing nice just now – not after all of the fighting and pain they'd inflicted upon each other. Suddenly Damon was off of him and walking away towards the kitchen and Stefan looked up in surprise. He wasn't going to leave him here was he?

"Damon?" He called unsure and needy. Damon didn't answer. Stefan listened with his heart in his mouth as Damon fumbled around and smashed a few things. What was he doing? He heard Damon's commanding hard footsteps begin to approach again and he lay his head back down on the floor and closed his eyes, stealing himself. He felt so vulnerable, naked from the waist down and achingly hard. He shifted a little, trying to get some friction from the rug beneath him when Damon slammed him down and held him firmly in place. Stefan inhaled sharply and obeyed, stilling. He counted the seconds as Damon didn't touch him. What was he doing?

"This going to hurt." Damon's voice was cold and Stefan felt a shiver of fear. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He was about to protest and change his mind when Damon parted his buttocks and slid his finger inside of him. Stefan jolted. Damon wasn't being gentle like before but at least he wasn't going to just enter him. That would be painful and make him bleed, he imagined. There was a strange sensation with Damon's fingers. It felt moist and slippery. Damon's fingers seemed to slide in and out with ease as he inserted a second finger roughly and scissored his fingers inside. The sensation was odd and made his stomach clench.

"Hmmm." Stefan groaned in discomfort and confusion. He couldn't figure out if he liked the sensation or not, it was just so alien to him. Damon removed his fingers and Stefan relaxed a little. Damon spread his legs wider and Stefan closed his eyes tight. He could feel Damon hard against his bottom and he shivered a little as he waited. Damon had spent a while preparing him before - this had been only a few seconds. Damon didn't take care or give him warning as he pushed himself inside fully. Stefan's eyes sprang open and he groaned in pain, struggling to breathe. It did hurt. It felt like he was being split open and he panted and tried not to cry out. Tears filled his eyes and he clenched automatically. Damon stilled and didn't move as he breathed. Stefan continued to whimper as his body struggled to adjust. Damon didn't speak. Stefan's entrance throbbed and he began to regret this decision. It would hurt even if Damon pulled out now though. He tightened impulsively around him, his body desperately wanting to squeeze Damon back out. He groaned again in distress and Damon finally moved, leaning over and biting into Stefan's shoulder. Stefan yelped in surprise and panted, fearful Damon was going to move but he didn't. Stefan let out a small sob and Damon drank a little faster trying to relax him. After a few seconds he started to feel the effects and began to relax as his stomach warmed and he felt arousal begin again.

Damon pulled his teeth out and licked around the wound. Stefan sighed feeling more into this idea again as he closed his eyes. Damon moved just a tiny amount, pulling out slightly and Stefan stiffened again in fear. Damon pushed back in slowly and stroked Stefan's back gently. As much as this had hurt, he knew he was safe. This was Damon. Damon might want to hurt him right now but he'd never go too far. If he said no, he knew Damon would stop. Damon slid back in again and although it hurt a little, Stefan had been prepared. He exhaled deeply and tried to relax as Damon began to move. His insides were so sensitive, he felt every push of Damon's flesh inside of him. His entrance felt like it was on fire and he tried to block it out. Damon picked up pace and began to thrust fully in and out now. It was starting to feel good gradually. It felt really different from last time, perhaps because of the pain or maybe because he was on his front. He felt a small tear at his entrance and he winced and groaned a little and to his amazement he felt Damon place his thumb over it and circle gently to calm him. It made him feel much more secure to know that Damon was aware of it and was trying to be gentle even when he was pounding into him heatedly.

Stefan fisted his hands in the rug beneath him as Damon began to moan and pant. He tried to imagine what it would feel like to be on top of Damon, to be this in control. He wanted that badly. Damon didn't like to relinquish control though. As he pondered on that Damon leaned his body forward, on top of him and slung his arm around Stefan's stomach, holding him upwards slightly. The instant he did Stefan felt that shock up his back again and it tingled all the way to his scalp. He gasped and leaned himself upwards further into Damon's movement, eagerly. Damon stroked across his stomach as he thrusted in again circling his hips as Stefan moaned in appreciation. This was more like it!

Damon held him firm squeezing his stomach and Stefan felt the desire to pee fill him. He didn't have to pee – he was a vampire, so what the hell? It wasn't unpleasant actually, it heightened everything else and he leaned back trusting that Damon knew what he was doing. Damon pulled him and he was propelled to raise onto his hands and knees. Damon held his hips and began to ram into him now and Stefan moaned and shook from every thrust. It was so erotic. He never thought he'd end up in this position! The thought would have horrified him normally but it felt so good.

Damon leaned into his back again and placed a sloppy kiss on his spine. Stefan smiled and gasped. Damon wasn't angry anymore. He flinched in shock as Damon took his manhood in hand and began to stroke him quickly with purpose. It had been so intense last time. This felt even more so because of Damon's weight around his back. He dipped his head down and watched Damon's hand as it tried to relieve his erection. It was so erotic to watch and feel at the same time. Damon's speed increased and Stefan lost his breath as Damon pounded into him now, making their bodies shake. His hold on Stefan's erection squeezed harder and became insistent too and Stefan felt himself losing his mind again.

"Uhhhh!" He cried out and Damon moaned in response. He wanted to melt back down onto the floor, his arms were shaking and Damon seemed to know it somehow. He gave him a gentle push on his back and Stefan slumped forward again, his head and arms on the ground while Damon held his pelvis in the position it had been in. This must look completely obscene. Damon climaxed loudly and let go of Stefan's manhood. Stefan grunted at the movement, feeling unsatisfied and desperate for release as Damon poured his seed inside of him. Stefan could actually feel it going in and it was terrifyingly satisfying. Once Damon had emptied himself, he pulled out in one quick movement and Stefan gasped, his insides contracting. He exhaled, scared Damon was going to leave him wanting. Last time Damon had climaxed he still kept going so Stefan could orgasm too but this time he had pulled out completely. Maybe he was still mad after all. Stefan whimpered and squeezed his eyes closed. Damon sighed satisfied and moved backwards along the floor.

"No…" Stefan pleaded and Damon didn't answer. Stefan began to lower himself into the floor in defeat as he became emotional, when Damon caught his hips and stilled his movement. Stefan stopped in anticipation and Damon leaned forward and licked where he had felt his skin tear. His tongue was so warm and it calmed the fire surrounding his entrance. He bit out a small groan and Damon stroked his behind gently and licked the area, soothing away the fire and pain. Slowly, he turned Stefan over and moved him flat onto his back again. Stefan's eyes were full of unshed tears and emotion and Damon stroked his face tenderly, soothingly for a minute, still not speaking as Stefan calmed and relaxed again.

Damon gave him a half smile and descended to his groin. Stefan held his breath again and Damon took him into his mouth. The wait for release made this all the more intense as Stefan moaned and gyrated into his mouth. He hadn't expected him to do this. He had expected him to use his hands – he'd wanted that so badly but now that Damon was swirling his tongue around him and sucking him, he couldn't believe his luck. Despite the pain, this had been even more intense, better, than last time. He couldn't believe it. They were still a little out of synchrony with each other but that would come with time. Damon didn't know what he liked and he didn't know how to work Damon's body. He'd never given it much thought before. Women were easy to work out. He knew how they liked to be touched or stimulated but Damon was a conundrum of complexity and body parts he knew, but yet didn't know.

He tilted his head back as Damon became more insistent and deepened the connection. Stefan moaned and struggled to hold himself back as he ran his fingers through Damon's hair and pulled. Would Damon let him cum in his mouth? God he so wanted to! Elena never wanted to though, so he always had to warn her and let her pull away. He could feel it approaching and he began to whisper Damon's name in warning. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at him determined and Stefan gasped in disbelief. Was he going to? Stefan's mouth fell open and he tensed for it. Damon held his hips hard and firm, making his intention clear and Stefan arched helplessly and spilled into his throat. It felt so good not to hold back. He couldn't believe Damon was doing it. He looked down to see Damon's eyes closed in concentration.

"Uhhhh, god…." Stefan moaned, almost as a sob of relief and gratitude and Damon let him slip out of his mouth again, soft and relieved. He expected Damon to get up now but instead he spread Stefan's legs wider. Stefan lifted his head with effort to look at him as he panted and tried to recover, when Damon bit into the artery at the top of his groin and began to snack. The enormity of his climax was still lingering in his body and with Damon's suckling to add to it he mewled and lost control of his limbs again, melting into the floor completely as he gave in and sobbed in rapture and acceptance. Damon took only a little before pulling up and watching him. Stefan closed his eyes as he continued to sob and Damon leaned on top of him and held him, pulling him up into a sitting position, hugging him as Stefan calmed. Damon rocked him slightly and Stefan leaned his face into Damon's shoulder as recovered. It felt so nice to be held like this, so securely and tightly.

He brought his hand up to the side of Damon's head and pulled back to search his face. Damon captured his mouth as he did so and they kissed gently for a few minutes, Damon still rocking him and holding him around his bottom soothingly, circling his thumb around the tear which had now healed completely. Damon eventually pulled back and held Stefan's face between his hands.

"I'm going to get her for you Stefan. I promise." He whispered and Stefan nodded.

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They quickly had to formulate their plan to trap Katherine. She was too much of a danger to them all, especially Elena and they had to kill her. After Stefan had slept off the mind blowing angry sex he'd had with Damon he felt much calmer and collected. No wonder Damon was addicted to sex, used it as a coping mechanism – it was so cathartic. His body hurt a little though, more than it had after their first time. Damon felt a little bad afterwards at how much it had hurt him, but he didn't actually apologise – Damon never apologised for anything, but still, Stefan could tell he felt bad.

It had taken a couple of days of hunting and feeding on deer before the pains went away completely. He thought of Elena throughout but the pain didn't cripple him as much as he thought it might. Even if they couldn't be together he could still be here to protect her, to make sure she got to live her life without fear. It made him feel happy that he could do that, that no matter how long she lived, he'd always be able to ensure that she was protected. It was the only advantage of being a vampire that he finally felt thankful for. With eternal youth came eternal strength, speed, agility and ingenuity. He'd be a young man in his prime forever and able to jump at a moment's notice of any trouble or pain that might be inflicted upon her.

Damon was changed too since everything. His temper was much abated and he was actually slightly more affectionate towards Stefan, less of his characteristic asshole self. He was feeling. He cared. Stefan knew he cared about him, he'd demonstrated it in so many ways over the past while – saving him from the sun, nursing him, feeding him without reward and now, being here for him physically without expectation. It seemed like a perfect contract between them both. It was nice to know that he wouldn't come home to any frat girls or have to listen to Damon pleasuring someone down the hall when he was trying to write or sleep. With the absence of a relationship, Stefan had offered himself to Damon if he needed him and Damon had agreed. It was mutually beneficial.

The stress of planning a coup against Katherine had rendered them both full of adrenaline and Stefan looked to him as everyone left the boarding house to prepare for the masked ball that evening. Elena was being kept out of the loop on this occasion and everyone was agreed that that was for the best. Damon closed the door behind them all as they left and leaned back against it exhaling.

"This is going to work." He said daydreaming and Stefan smiled and offered him a glass of bourbon.

"At this hour?" Damon asked mockingly and Stefan shrugged as he came to the sofa and accepted the glass from him. Stefan poured himself a glass too and Damon eyed him in amazement. "Who are you and what have you done with my sensible, boring evening-only drinker brother?"

"He's learning from his big brother that sometimes it's ok to have fun." Stefan jested back and took a sip. Damon chuckled.

"You're finally learning. I've only been telling you that for 145 years."

"150 years I seem to recall." Stefan pointed out and Damon paused counting. "You tried to get me to raid father's wine cellar for whisky when I was barely a teenager, don't you remember?" He chuckled and Damon grinned and gave him a silent cheers with his glass.

"You've always tried to corrupt me." Stefan teased and Damon choked. "I'm glad I let you this time."

Damon coughed a little and recovered himself as Stefan laughed.

"Glad to hear it." He said.

"Do you think we would ever have had this? If we hadn't spent so many years fighting each other?" Stefan asked and Damon fell silent as he thought on it before shaking his head.

"No. I wanted to kill you."

"And you don't anymore?"

"No." Damon gave him a weak smile.

"What about when we were human?" Stefan added and Damon sighed and looked him in the eye.

"What are you really asking Stef?" Stefan blushed and looked into his glass. What was he asking?

"Would you have wanted our arrangement back then?"

"No." Damon sighed again.

"Why?"

"Because…you were…we were…" Damon stumbled becoming uncomfortable and Stefan instantly regretted asking. Why was it so important to him that he knew if Damon had wanted him back then, if he had had any thoughts like this? "You were just a kid Stefan and…so was I. You were my baby brother. It would've been…" Damon frowned and Stefan was sure he saw a flash of disgust fill his expression that made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

"I'm still your brother."

"It's different now. We're not those people anymore."

"When you feel turned on, is it because of me or is it something else?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Is it me? Do you feel something for me?" Stefan blushed, he was in very deep water. Damon huffed and sat back closing his eyes.

"The sooner we kill Katherine the better." Damon mumbled almost inaudibly and Stefan frowned.

"So I can go back to Elena?" He surmised and Damon huffed again. "I feel something for you." He stated, his heart in his mouth as Damon opened his eyes to look at him quizzically. He suddenly felt very nervous and exposed. "I…I trust you. I let you inside of me because I know you won't hurt me. I can be myself because I know you'll take care of me."

A look of relief passed over Damon's features as he spoke and Stefan bit his lip. He wanted to say more – that he didn't know how he felt, that he wanted to pleasure Damon too because he felt something more. He wouldn't call it love necessarily – he knew he loved Elena but there was something nagging him about being with Damon. He wanted to explore it and he wanted Damon to let him, to help him explore it.

"Do you not want to do this anymore?" Damon asked and Stefan's mouth fell open.

"No!"

"I'm not in love with you Stefan." Damon said calmly and Stefan blushed and nodded in acceptance of that. "It's just sex."

"Amazing sex." Stefan added, trying to keep emotion out of his voice and make light of it all. Damon smirked happily.

"Everything will be ok. You'll get Elena back and get back on your diet fully."

"What about you? You need this too." Stefan pointed out and Damon shrugged.

"Plenty of frat girls brother."

"There always have been and yet…"

"I can't be as rough with them as I can with you. I'll just have to turn it down a notch to vigorous, not mind blowing." Damon flashed him a toothy grin and drank more bourbon.

"No throwing around and biting?"

"Maybe not so much throwing around." Damon smirked and Stefan felt his groin heat up at the thought.

"You've never thrown me around really. You said sex with you was exercise." Damon eyed him suspiciously and Stefan raised his eyebrows and took a sip of bourbon, challenging him with his eyes.

"You're a few hours away from getting your girlfriend back Stefan."

"And I still haven't experienced the Damon sex-a-thon I've heard so much about. Maybe you were just blowing your own trumpet." Damon chuckled in disbelief and shook his head.

"You really want to?"

"We've got some time to kill." Stefan said, his growing erection making his feelings on the topic clear. Damon looked to his groin and bit his lip considering it.

"How much do you hurt?"

"I'm fine. I hunted earlier." Stefan said a little breathless. Damon put his glass down and stood up.

"My room." Damon instructed and Stefan nodded, putting his glass down and heading upstairs as butterflies were let loose inside of his stomach. If this was the last time, he wanted all of it.