Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek

The rescued officers were dropped off with no issues, grateful to be heading back to Earth for a hopefully peaceful break before they were reassigned. None of the three had any thoughts of resigning their commission – sure, this incident had shaken them up, but they were Starfleet officers. It was all part of the job.

Jim accepted their thanks one more time before the Enterprise departed, heading back towards the Delta Quadrant in the hopes of new discovery.

It was grating on his nerves, to stick to these boundaries. They had an exploratory mission, so why couldn't they explore?

"Starfleet wants the flagship on hand, just in case," was the standard reply he gave out to every officer who asked, attempting to keep his voice and expression neutral so as not to convey his own distaste for the line.

And the officer usually just nodded and walked away, though not without offering up a disappointed look they only sometimes tried to hide.

Carol watched Jim as he let down yet another Science officer wondering why they weren't heading further out. "I'm sure we'll get our chance soon enough," she tried to placate her boyfriend.

Jim just shrugged and turned back to his dinner. "It's not that I don't get it," he replied morosely. "I do. With everything that's happened, Starfleet wants the flagship to stick around, just in case something comes up. The problem is that that's not what we were contracted to do." He took a bite of his pasta and chewed slowly. Swallowing, he continued, "The Enterprise is an exploratory vessel. That's why a lot of us signed on, and that's what our contracts stipulate." He smiled softly at Carol. "Just like you, many other officers are on board because of those very provisos. I wish we could just go, but I still have to answer to the Admirals."

Carol reached out and rested a hand lightly on his arm. "We all do," she commiserated. "We're still exploring, it's just not as new as many would like. But there's plenty to do even within our constraints. I know you don't like to play it safe like this, but I think you're doing a great job of giving us something new and exciting while still keeping to the restrictions the Admiralty has placed."

Jim smiled and leaned forward, giving her a quick kiss before they returned to their meals.

XXX

April bit her lip nervously as she glanced over at where Jim was sprawled out on the floor, half a dozen PADDs arrayed around him. She herself had chosen a slightly more comfortable spot on the couch, as she studied her course books. Leonard was on shift, or he would have been there as well. And like every other time he was on duty and she was not, she missed him.

Ever since they had officially recognized their relationship as exclusive and serious, it was like she couldn't get enough. She loved being with him and Joanna. She loved being a part of a family. That was something she hadn't really had in a long time. Not since Tarsus, honestly. Not since her parents had died; Jim had done a good job of creating a new family for her and the other kids in their group, but then they had all been separated, and hadn't kept in contact with any real regularity.

"Stop thinking so loud," Jim interrupted her thoughts. She started, and looked back at the Captain, but his attention was still focused on the PADD in front of him. "It's distracting," he added without looking up.

April rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him.

Jim felt it land on his back, and pushed it aside as he turned over to face April. His expression showed concern. "Is everything all right? You're way too stressed right now."

April sighed wearily, setting her PADD down. "I guess a lot of things are just catching up to me, you know?"

Jim frowned, standing up and moving over so that he was sitting next to her on the couch. "Are you swamped with your classes? Or has Bones done something that requires me to kill him."

April shoved him playfully. "Leonard's wonderful," she promised. "I really like him, Jim, and Joanna's amazing."

"Yeah, they're pretty all right," Jim agreed easily.

April rolled her eyes. "It's just…" She looked down at her lap, tucking her legs underneath her as one hand began to absentmindedly play with the hem of her shirt. "Do you ever feel like you spend every day spouting one lie after another?"

Jim looked away, his expression clouding over slightly. April started to worry that she had pushed some unknown button, when the Captain spoke. "I'm fine; nothing's wrong; I wouldn't know, nothing bad's ever happened to me…?"

April nodded quickly, reaching over to grasp his arm lightly, not sure if she was reassuring him or her. "I keep trying to pretend it's fine, but I'm not sure how much longer I can do it. And I just…" she swallowed harshly. "How can I be his girlfriend, a mother figure for Joanna, when I'm lying to them? But the thought of telling him…" She shuddered fearfully.

Jim nodded slightly, turning back to the doctor in an attempt to offer her a reassuring smile. It didn't work very well. "I can't…" He looked down, embarrassed. "I mean, I've thought about it, a couple of times. Bones, Carol, even Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura." He bit his lip. "Spock already knows, and I don't know if I'm relieved or confused that in the nearly three years since he found out, he hasn't said anything to anyone – not even me." April made a questioning noise, and Jim sighed. "Part of me wants to. To tell them, to trust them. They're my friends, right? Carol's my girlfriend. Aren't I supposed to be able to trust them?" He swallowed harshly. "But I can't. I just can't convince myself that they would understand, no matter how much I want to."

April snuggled into his side, sighing contentedly when Jim lifted his arm so that she would fit better. She could always rely on him for comfort, even if it was just a shoulder to lean on. "I don't know if you're right about all of that," she admitted. "But I keep telling myself that it's better not to risk it. What if I tell him and he leaves? I don't know if I could handle that." She sniffed weakly. "So much loss already," she murmured sleepily, feeling her eyelids drooping.

Jim squeezed his arm briefly, in a facsimile of a hug. "I can't tell you what to do, April," he pointed out. "I know how I feel, and the thought of Bones finding out terrifies me. But if you want him to know your story, that's your prerogative. I can't make the choice for you."

April nodded slightly. "I know," she replied. "I just don't want him to look at me differently."

Jim sighed, leaning back into the cushions slightly. "Me either," he commiserated. When April yawned, he chuckled, pulling her down even further while his free hand reached for one of the PADDs still lying on the floor. "Get some sleep," he admonished. "I'll wake you up later."

April thought about protesting, but she was too comfortable; so with another yawn, she obediently closed her eyes and drifted off.

XXX

Neither April nor Jim mentioned the conversation again. Both were pretty good at avoiding issues, so it was enough for them to know what the other was thinking, and then move on and set it aside without actually addressing the real problem.

Time passed quickly on board a starship traveling at warp speed. It had been nearly two years since they had last set foot on Earth, just about three since their graduation and the beginning of their five-year mission. Jim wasn't sure if they would be back before the end of their assignment, and it was hard to make any predictions now; given the parameters the Admirals had set, they hadn't ventured so far out that they couldn't return easily enough for upgrades or the like. It was entirely possible that Komack could recall them if he so chose, but the odds were just as good that they would go the next two years, finish up their mission, and then return to Earth for a few months of shore leave and upgrades, before those who signed on for another mission would ship back out again. Jim didn't expect many officers to leave at the end of their assignment; his crew was all pretty young, so there were not many people close to retirement, and he had fielded no complaints serious enough to worry about anyone wanting to leave.

But that was still two years away. No one was making any decisions right now, and there was plenty of time to think about the future later.

Jim was contemplating the probabilities of Komack being an ass enough to call them back to Earth again before the end of their mission, when the Admiral himself chose to butt in.

Uhura quickly punched a few buttons and turned around in her seat. "Captain, Admiral Komack is calling with a mission brief."

Jim shook himself off to clear his head of errant thoughts, and nodded. "On screen, Lieutenant," he ordered, straightening in his seat, subconsciously noting everyone else doing the same thing, attempting to show the Admiral nothing less than a professional crew.

The view of the stars blurred briefly, before clearing to show Komack seated in his desk chair at the Academy. Distance did nothing to hide the scowl on the man's face as he observed the Enterprise's Captain.

"Captain Kirk, I trust by your lack of communication lately that the Enterprise is currently unoccupied?"

Jim nodded slightly, hiding a grimace. "Yes, sir. Do you have an assignment for us?"

Komack inclined his head, typing out a sequence on the console in front of him. "You should recieve the brief soon. We have been receiving reports lately of activity on the deserted planet of Tarsus IV. As you may recall, the planet was abandoned after the incident nearly fifteen years ago. It was deemed unsuitable for habitation, due to the fungus that wiped out all edible plant life. However, with these reports, Starfleet has become interested in the possibility of re-colonization."

Jim felt like he was hearing words flung at him from the end of a tunnel. Some part of him understood what the Admiral was saying, but there was a loud buzzing sound in his head that seemed to be blocking out most of it.

"What is it you want us to do?" he forced his mouth to move, but he wasn't entirely sure the correct words came out.

It seemed to be right enough, because Komack replied, "The Enterprise is to travel to Tarsus IV and determine whether or not there is any truth to these rumors. Take samples of the plant life and observe any unusual activity. I will be waiting for your report."

He signed off without waiting for a reply. Just as well, because Jim wasn't entirely sure he could speak anymore.

He knew Sulu was waiting for orders, and Uhura was waiting for him to tell her to prepare the mission brief for the rest of the crew, but he couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't think. All he could seem to do was stare blankly ahead while gripping his armrest so tightly he wouldn't be surprised to find imprints of his fingers when he managed to tear his hands away.

Spock immediately stood up, taking over seamlessly as he moved gracefully to stand behind the Captain's chair. His sharp gaze focused on the pilot and navigator at the helm. Sulu was watching Jim in confusion, while Chekov was staring wide-eyed and with a hint of what Jim would catalogue as fear, though Spock wasn't adept enough to recognize specific emotions the way his Captain did.

"Lieutenant Sulu, Ensign Chekov, plot a course for the planet."

The two quickly complied, while everyone else watched in confusion, wondering why Spock was the one giving orders, and why Jim hadn't moved since Komack had signed off.

It was a full thirty seconds later, after Sulu informed them of their estimated arrival time, and just long enough for the command crew to get worried, that Jim shuddered slightly and forced himself back to the present. Any and all emotions he might be feeling were pushed back behind a wall so thick not a trace of fear or trepidation could be seen in his bright blue gaze.

Standing up without looking anyone in the eye, he muttered a quiet, "Take the con," before beating a hasty retreat to the 'lift and disappearing from sight before anyone had a chance to try and stop him.

They all stared at the closed 'lift doors for another few seconds before Spock cut in. "Return to your duties," he said in a clipped tone as he sat down in the Captain's chair. He would not allow himself to give in to his own worry right now. His instincts were telling him to go find Jim, to assure himself that the Captain was well, but he had his orders.

"What was that about?" Sulu muttered, glancing over at Chekov in confusion.

Pavel shrugged slightly, not answering the question. He really wanted to request a break so that he could go find Jim, but he didn't want to draw any more attention, to himself or the Captain. So instead, he just focused on his console and rechecked the trajectories.

XXX

Jim was halfway to Medbay before he remembered that going in there would mean telling Bones what was wrong, and he couldn't.

So instead he headed to his quarters, sending out messages to April and Kevin on his comm., telling them to meet him there immediately.

The two arrived five minutes later, Kevin panting slightly from exertion, indicating he had run all the way from the Navigations department on the other side of the ship.

April scrutinized him carefully as she stepped inside. "Leonard says that if you're bleeding out, you better damn well get your ass to Medbay."

Jim didn't even smile, further heightening April's concern. What the hell was going on?

The Captain led the two to the sitting room, gesturing for them to take seats, though he remained standing himself, his hands clenched around his upper arms in a gesture that clearly showed his discomfort.

"Jim, you're really worrying me here," the doctor said after nearly a minute of silence. "What's going on?"

On her left, Kevin looked equally disquieted.

Taking a deep breath and forcing himself to relax a little, Jim collapsed into an empty chair, and informed them of their latest assignment.

Just hearing the name of that cursed planet caused April to freeze, emotions running from shock, to horror, to terror. She had never thought she'd have to go back. She thought she was free of that place. It had only been last month that she and Jim had discussed the very subject of telling others about what had happened on that planet, and both had decided against it. Why the hell did this have to happen now?

Kevin was drawn out of his own nightmare-induced thoughts when Jim dropped down next to him, threading an arm around his shoulders and drawing him into a light hug. That's when he realized that he couldn't breathe, and the loud gasping sound was actually coming from him.

"Kev, just calm down, all right? I need you to take in one breath, that's it, just hold that for me. Now release it," Jim quietly instructed, nodding in encouragement as the Ensign followed his commands shakily.

Once it seemed like Kevin was under control, the Captain turned to April. She was still staring off into space, her expression vacant and her mind likely filled with the nightmares of the past.

"April?"

With a violent shudder, the doctor came out of her thoughts, and turned to face her Captain. "I'm all right," she assured him softly, though she didn't think he believed her. She didn't believe her. "You?"

Jim shrugged, his eyes carefully guarded. "I'll be fine," he promised.

April shook her head slightly, but didn't call his lie. She hated how he always tried to downplay his own feelings, and she knew that no matter what false platitudes came out of his mouth, he was taking this much harder than she or Kevin were. She had lost her best friend, her family, and spent months starving and terrified; but she had had someone to look to for guidance. Jim had been their leader. He had born all of their fears, struggles, and trials, as well as his own. He had been in charge of nearly two-dozen children and teenagers, from April all the way down to little Rose and Jenny, who had just barely learned how to walk and talk. He had been tasked with making sure as many of them as possible survived, and he had felt each death, Anya, Lisa, as if he himself had died. And when he had figured out why no help was coming, he had taken it on himself to fix it. He had offered himself up as a sacrifice, so that everyone else could get out.

He had been tortured. She didn't know everything about his time on that planet, but Anya had told her about how the governor had been teaching Jim the ins and outs of government. Which meant Jim had known and at least somewhat trusted Kodos, and had been betrayed by the former governor. He had nearly died at the hands of that madman, simply because he wouldn't betray his friends.

April quickly moved over so that she was sitting next to Jim, and gave him a hug, her arms folding awkwardly around him and Kevin, who was still in Jim's arms.

She could practically feel the tension rolling off of Jim; he was almost shaking in an effort not to break down. She wasn't like Tom, who had always been willing to call Jim on his self-sacrificial lies. She wasn't like Leonard, who used threats and hyposprays to take care of his wayward best friend, ignoring any of Jim's attempts at pretending he was unhurt until he himself had verified it as truth. She stepped back; when Jim said he was fine, when he pushed his own feelings and emotions aside to take care of everyone else, she capitulated. He was and had always been her commanding officer – now as an official Captain, and back on that planet when he had led them all with nothing more than a gentle hand, a weak smile, and the promise that things would get better.

She would always follow his lead, whether it was taking care of a group of kids in a failed colony being run by a sadistic mass murderer, or not questioning him when he spouted such ridiculous lies. He wasn't fine. He hadn't been fine in nearly fifteen years. Maybe even longer, if what she suspected about his childhood was even the slightest bit true.

Jim had led her through certain death, and they had come out on the other side – well, not quite whole, but alive – so if he had to pretend that he wasn't effected right now, if he had to wait until he was alone to break down, she would honor that. She would wish that he could let himself lean on her the way she did him, but she understood the need, as a leader, to be seen as whole and strong, no matter what his subordinates might think or wish. He couldn't let himself be seen as weak, and showing how broken he was inside – even to his friends – just wasn't something he could let himself do. She didn't like it, and she knew Leonard hated it, both the action and why the man felt it was necessary, but it was what it was, and Jim had spent too long believing that leaning on others in times of strife constituted weakness – or perhaps too long being taught through experience that that was truth – to adjust his views easily.

They stayed on the couch in silence for several minutes, before Jim gave a regretful sigh and shifted slightly. "I should probably call Chris," he said softly, though he made no effort to stand up.

April placed the name quickly, though she knew him as Admiral Pike, of course. The first time she had met him, after the Narada incident and after she had accepted a position at Starfleet Medical, she had been startled to recognize the man as the same Lieutenant Commander who had been so great about getting them into Medbay to see Jim and Tom on the Seymour all those years ago. She wasn't sure if he had remembered her – he hadn't said anything either way – but she would never forget that caring and concerned gaze from all those years ago. The first officer they had met who hadn't looked at them with any kind of pity, just a quiet understanding.

"Do you want us to leave?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, almost as if she couldn't make herself speak louder.

Jim bit his lip, considering. "Why don't you go change into something more comfortable, and come back. Shift'll be over soon anyway, I'll clear it with your supervisors."

April and Kevin nodded, and headed for the door, while Jim went to his private comm. in the next room, typing in Chris' number with a nearly steady hand.

When the call connected, Chris appeared to be in the middle of a meeting with Jon and Richard. He smiled into the screen, glad to hear from Jim, though he did wonder what this was about, since the Captain should be on duty, and therefore not making personal calls right now. Unless this was a professional call; in which case, why did it look like he was in his private quarters?

"Jim, what can I do –"

"Did you know?" Jim's question cut through the Admiral's greeting, and Chris stopped talking, blinking in confusion.

"Know what?"

Jim grimaced, swallowing harshly as his gaze narrowed. "Our next assignment."

Chris frowned, still unclear as to what the hell was going on. "Komack hasn't told us anything, no. As far as I was aware, the Enterprise is between missions at the moment."

Jim glanced away, unable to take the concern the trio of Admirals were leveling at him.

"Jim?" Chris leaned forward slightly, his initial worry skyrocketing. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

Jon and Richard looked at each other, wondering if they should leave and let these two talk alone.

But before they could make the offer, Jim wilted slightly and typed a few commands on his computer. "We're going back," he murmured quietly, defeat coloring his tone.

Chris was still confused, but he obediently opened up the file Jim had sent him, reading the mission brief in growing alarm. He looked up sharply, his expression filling with fury. "I'll kill him," he growled. "What the hell? Why didn't he inform anyone before tasking the Enterprise?"

Jon and Richard leaned over and read the brief, wanting to know what this was all about.

Seeing the words in black and white on the screen, they understood immediately. Komack should have informed the other Admirals before contacting the Enterprise. While technically not strictly necessary to share the details of the assignment – as Komack was the Enterprise's commanding officer it was his right to assign a mission as he saw fit – given the history of the planet in question, it would have been the courteous thing to do, to share the details with the rest of the Admiralty.

"We can pull you off," Jon offered. "We'll delegate the mission to another ship. I think the Endeavor is nearby."

Jim shook his head immediately. "If you do that, they'll want to know why. And officially, I was never there."

Ruefully, they realized he was right. Jim was a good hacker, and he had spent a lot of time erasing his presence from that planet, from the manifests documenting his arrival, right down to the videofeeds at Starfleet Medical. It wasn't in any of the classified reports. At one point, his name had appeared on the manifest of the transport to Tarsus eighteen months before the massacre, but Jim had erased that shortly after his return to Earth. And every reference to him on the planet had either been as James Spaulding, or as the child JT, the hero who had alerted Starfleet and personally saved twenty odd kids from death. But no one knew who JT was, or had been, and no one had equated James Spaulding with James Kirk. It would be nearly impossible unless someone was deliberately looking for it and realized that Winona Kirk had at one point had a sister named Marie, who had married a Terry Spaulding and moved to Tarsus. And then they'd have to do a direct comparison to realize that James Spaulding and James Kirk were the same person.

"How're you doing?" Chris asked gently, hoping for an honest answer.

The look Jim gave him in return said it all.

Chris winced, knowing that was a stupid thing to ask. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

Jim shrugged again, slumping down in his seat as he absentmindedly drew a pattern with his finger on the table. "Is there a longer brief than the one we received? I'd like to know if Komack's playing with me by only giving me half the story."

Jon immediately got to work, searching for the assignment that Komack would have had to file officially before handing it out to the Enterprise. Finding it, he quickly sent it to the distant Captain. "You should receive it soon," he assured Jim.

A nod was all Jim could muster to thank the Admiral, but Jon understood.

"Is he doing this as a way to screw with us?" Richard asked curiously. When they all looked at him, he grimaced. "I know we don't like to talk about it, but if he's doing this deliberately, we need to combat that."

"I think It'd be easier if he was," Chris commented idly. "But he doesn't know. He can't. Jim's name isn't anywhere in any of the files. He wouldn't have any reason to suspect, unless he already had the information."

Jim nodded in agreement, still not looking any of the Admirals in the eye; the slight motion was the only sign they had that he was still paying attention. "I changed the video surveillance too," he added quietly, still not looking directly at the comm.

Chris inclined his head, smiling slightly. "I noticed that," he commented idly. "It was an impressive show of skill, even if it was illegal." Chris had been intrigued to watch the footage shortly after Jim had escaped the hospital, and see a shorter, brown haired, brown eyed kid instead of the gangly blond teen. It was more impressive that he hadn't been able to tell that the footage had been altered, even after running an analysis. Even the computer thought the footage was authentic.

Chris sighed wearily. "It's possible Komack just thinks that the Enterprise would be best to handle this, because of the history and the fact that it's the flagship."

The young Admiral glanced up, meeting Jon's concerned gaze, and with a small head jerk, gestured for the other two Admirals to give him some privacy. They understood immediately, and quickly left the office.

Once he was alone, Chris turned back to the computer. "Have you thought about telling anyone else?" he asked cautiously, hoping he wouldn't just be shut down.

Jim swallowed harshly, and shook his head. "There's no point," he countered resolutely. "It's not like anyone can change the past."

Chris winced sympathetically. "They're your friends, Jim. They might not be able to change the past, but they can be there for you now. They won't look at you differently."

Jim didn't counter, but his look clearly stated that he didn't agree.

Chris sighed. "Sooner or later, you're going to have to learn how to trust again."

Jim rolled his eyes. "I trust you, don't I?"

Chris smiled, attempting to hide the feeling of pride and joy that rose up when he heard those words. "And that's a good start, but I'm not there, Jim. I wish I was, but I'm light years away. I can't help you the way I want to." He observed the Captain seriously. "You've known your command crew for years. It's been what, over a decade you've known Lieutenant Sulu and Ensign Chekov? What about McCoy? That man would move heaven and earth for you. And Spock, Uhura, Scott? They've been your friends for years. Do you really think this will change anything?"

When Jim didn't answer, the Admiral nodded knowingly. "I think you're more afraid that it won't. You're scared of relying on anyone too much, and I get it, Jim, I do. You've had to take care of yourself for pretty much your entire life. You didn't have anyone else to rely on, and you're afraid that they'll let you down if you let them in. But if you don't give them the chance, then you'll never know." Chris bit his lip. "If you're always looking for reasons not to, you're always going to find them."

Jim looked away, his expression unreadable, and Chris sighed. "I can't make your decisions for you. Please comm. me if you need anything, and I'll see if I can find out anything about this mission that doesn't line up with the brief you received. If there are any hidden agendas, I'll find them."

He signed off, and Jim groaned wearily, burying his head in his hands as he furiously scrubbed at his face to get rid of the burning sensation in his eyes.

"He's got a point, you know," April interrupted, and Jim looked up sharply, noting that she and Kevin had returned, both wearing casual clothes as they hovered in the doorway.

Jim rolled his eyes, but didn't respond.

April sighed and leaned against the wall, watching Jim carefully. Kevin kept looking between the two, content to wait in silence.

"Jim, I think we just lost the element of choice. We need to tell them what's going on. Or do you really think you can hide it through all this? I can't."

She shuddered lightly, and Jim was immediately at her side, reassuring her. April felt herself smile almost against her will; no matter what else he had going on, he would always shove it aside to be there for his friends.

After another minute, the Captain let out a deep breath and nodded resignedly and held out a PADD for the doctor to take. "Jon sent me the full mission detail; go take a seat, I'll be there in a moment."

April studied his expression closely for a few seconds, searching for something. She seemed to find it, because she nodded and took the PADD, gesturing for Kevin to join her as she made her way to the living room.

Jim waited until they had disappeared from view, before he turned back to his computer and sent a brief message to his command crew, minus the Security Chief Giotto, with whom he was friendly, but not quite friends with, and Carol, asking them to meet in his quarters once Alpha shift ended in an hour.

That done, he made a quick stop in his bedroom to throw on a pair of jeans and a Starfleet Academy Athletics sweatshirt, and went to join the other two, as they spent the remaining time going over the mission, reading all the details that Komack hadn't deemed necessary to share.

There really wasn't a lot there, mainly reports that the planet had seen activity on an intermittent basis over the last decade or so, increasing significantly within the last couple of years – after Nero, if they wanted to read into the situation in that way; but no actual confirmation. As the planet had been classified as deserted ever since Starfleet had removed the survivors of the massacre, it was an anomaly. But it did get Starfleet scientists curious about the ability of the planet to sustain life once more, and whether or not re-colonization was an option.

From what Jim could tell from the information Jon had sent, Komack's orders had nothing to do with any vindictive pleasures, which left the Admiral's own agenda, or just one hell of a coincidence. Was it really simple happenstance, or did Komack just want to be the one to revitalize a deserted planet? Was the Admiral deluded enough to think that people would actually be willing to live on a planet that had seen one of the greatest failures in Federation history? It wasn't just that so many had died, because to be perfectly honest, there had been worse genocides in Earth's history alone, let alone all the other planets in the Federation. It was the insanity of a man appointed by the Federation and Starfleet itself, the complete failure of a colony with absolutely no prior warning or reports of trouble.

They were startled out of their reading by the sound of a chime filling the room. Jim went to answer the door, and let in the entire group from the Bridge. He kept the door open as he saw McCoy and Scotty heading in his direction as well.

Once they were all inside, he gestured for them to move to the living room.

Spock stopped him before he could follow, and his expression showed nothing but concern for the Captain. After a brief moment of hesitation, Spock quietly queried after his superior's health, choosing to converse in Vulcan, as Uhura was the only one other than them who spoke the language, and she was already out of earshot. "Captain, I do not believe I am well equipped to provide any sort of emotional support, but I wish to ensure your positive health."

Jim snorted softly. "Is that your way of asking if I'm all right?" he replied amusedly. When Spock just raised an eyebrow in answer, the Captain sobered and shrugged with one shoulder. "I'm fine, Spock," he said tiredly. Spock didn't appear to believe him, but Jim chose to ignore his doubt. "I'll be fine. We should get in there though, before Bones decides to send out a search party." He followed his own advice and headed into the living room, Spock half a step behind.

April and Kevin were still sitting on the couch, while Pavel had joined them, and Uhura and Carol had taken seats in the two chairs that occupied the room. McCoy, Scotty, and Sulu were standing, and the entire group watched like hawks as Jim chose to lean against one armrest of the couch, the end closest to Kevin.

Spock came to a parade rest just behind his Captain's right shoulder, and waited patiently.

Steeling himself for what was to come, Jim opened his mouth and forced himself to speak.

Small cliffie.

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