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The Water is Wide

Chapter 15

Ours

My captor began laughing lowly too, and in their sick laughter my thoughts turned to Lucy. Did she know? Was she aware of her brother's dark motives? A horrifying thought came to mind then. Was she a part of it? Had she been in on his plan from the beginning? Was she too merely luring me into a friendship so that her brother might have me?

NO! I decided. Lucy was not a part of this. Lucy could not know. Lucy's smile was too sweet, her laughter too pure, her friendship too sincere to be a ruse. Lucy was as blind to Edmund's darkness as I was. And I refused to believe otherwise about her or the other Narnians.

What happened next, happened so quickly I'll never be certain I got all the events right.

Their laughter stopped abruptly. The blade was removed from my throat and my captor released me; I wasn't free though. He shoved me forward. I would have fallen again had it not been for Edmund who quickly stepped forward and steadied me. He held me by the arms and pulled me towards him. He still held that smile I didn't know, but if I looked close enough I could almost see the Edmund I had known in his eyes. They were silently pleading with me. With his next words, that silent pleading turned into a shout.

"You are Ours."

He gave me one last look; his eyes almost looked sad and ashamed, before turning cold and fierce as he turned his gaze to my captor. Then he was gone. He lunged at my captor, who had his head bowed as he fumbled with his pants. My captor though must have also been a great warrior, for he was not thrown off guard for long. He seemed to know something had changed and his hands halted with his pants. He tilted his head up just as Edmund's hand pulled back for a mighty punch. It landed on the left side of his face, just beneath his eye.

Edmund grabbed my captor by his shirt as he reeled his arms back for another hit. My captor blocked it though and twisted free of Edmund's hold. Edmund did not let up however. He quickly changed tactics and came at him from another angle. They carried on like that for awhile, hitting, dodging, blocking, hitting. Edmund managed to land several hits, but he also took a few. Then my captor seemed to remember that he had a weapon and he pulled the blade back out.

The small knife flashed in the moonlight as my captor lunged at Edmund. A cry echoed through the air. I realized later that it was my own cry. I was only too certain that the knife had tasted flesh as it cut through cloth. If it did, Edmund showed no sign of it as he twisted in my captor's arms and brought his full weight upon the arm which held the knife. The knife fell to the path below and Edmund kicked it out of reach. Then, with an elbow to the head and a swipe at the legs, my captor was lying face down on the ground. Edmund climbed onto his back, his knees digging in just behind my captor's shoulders, and pulled the man's arms back. He made quick work of tying them together with a rope I had not seen on him.

"Sire, you should have let me take him," said a voice from my waist level.

I looked down to see a large black Leopard standing by me ready to pounce. I vaguely recalled his name to be Baldair. I remembered meeting him on my tour of the Splendor. I hadn't seen much of him since we arrived in Redhaven, only glimpses of him following Edmund around. I asked Salinus about it on one of our lunches and he said Baldair was a member of Edmund's personal guard.

"And I told you to make Estelle's safety your top concern," Edmund replied.

I was still looking at the Leopard when he turned his yellow eyes up to me. "She is safe."

Was I? My original captor may have been defeated, but there was still Edmund. I slowly turned my eyes back to him to find him watching me carefully; his eyes were boring into me. The darkness from him was gone. The smile that made my skin crawl was gone. But I still wasn't sure which Edmund stood before me.

"You are Ours," he had said. He had said that once before, while holding my hand. "You and your siblings are Ours…We will find them, and We will take no rest until We do. You are Ours." If I tried, I could still feel his hand in mine. But that look...that laugh...I was so confused.

"Estelle!" Lucy cried, pulling me from my thoughts as she ran up beside me. "I heard a scream and I thought…" Her voice trailed off. "Baldair?" She turned to look at her brother, whose knee was still engrained into my captor's back, and his eyes were still on me. "Edmund, what's going on here?"

"That is precisely what I'd like to know," a man I did not know said as he too joined us on the path. "You sign our peace and then you attack one of my men? Tell me, young King, is this the standard by which Narnia now holds to."

"I am sure my brother had good reason to do as he did, Lord Halan," Lucy quickly defended.

"My good Sir, I came upon this man as he tried to take this young maiden by his vile force," Edmund said as he first pointed to my captor and then to me. "As you well may know, the maiden Estelle is Ours—" he said it again "—and thus it was within my right, indeed my duty as her King, to see to her safety and that her honor remained intact. There is the blade by which he threatened her. See for yourself the mark it left on her."

My hand flew instinctively to my throat and I winced as my fingers touched the still fresh wound. Lucy gasped as she saw it and the Lord Halan walked around me so that he too might see it. I had never been the subject of this kind of attention, and I did not like the feel of it.

"Is it true?" asked the Redhaven Lord of me. "Did this man come upon you?"

I looked first to my captor who still lay on the path, his head now turned to the side as he tried to wrestle free of Edmund's knee. Then my eyes drifted up to meet Edmund's. He was there again. The Edmund I knew. The Edmund that had pulled me from the sea. The Edmund that had searched for my siblings. The Edmund I had danced with. He was there. Had I only imagined the other one?

I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to feel. I remembered his arrival in the garden; his words echoed in my mind. "I thought from my kindness she would fall to me…" I remembered the look he gave me as he caught me in his arms. "You are Ours." I remembered his struggle with my captor. I remembered the blade tearing through cloth and my fear that it had also torn through skin.

"Speak, child," barked the impatient lord. "Did this man attack you?"

"Milord!" Lucy sounded outraged. "It is clear to see she is shaken from these events. That alone should be proof enough that my brother speaks the truth."

"Silence may be evidence enough in your court, but not in ours. I will not ask again, child. Did this man attack you?"

"Y-y-yes," I said, my voice quivering. "He came upon me from the shadows. I—I couldn't get around him. E—Edmund saved me."

Edmund bowed his head at my confession and removed his knee at last from my captor's back. The Redhaven lord, too, seemed very solemn at my words.

"Lucy, please return Estelle to her rooms and see that she seen to," Edmund said.

"Of course. Come on, Estelle, let's go." Lucy gently grabbed my arm and began pulling towards the garden's exit. I followed her pull numbly.

It was late. I knew it was, late enough for the ball to have ended. But I had to see her. I had to see for myself that she was well. I had already spoken with Lucy; she said she was shaken, which is to be expected, but that she was fine. I would have left Lucy's sooner, but I had to calm her down first. She was furious that someone would try something like this. Though, I think she may have been more upset with herself. Apparently she was supposed to walk with Estelle, and her guilt of leaving her to finish a dance was tearing at her. I did my best to assure her that it wasn't her fault and then left her with Mr. Tumnus. I knew he would comfort her. I had to see Estelle.

I only hoped she would see me.

I hesitated for one brief moment before knocking on the door. There was silence, and then a whispered, "It's King Edmund," followed by more silence. I could tell by the faint feline purr in the voice that it was Balnair, a younger sister of Baldair, which had spoken. Lucy must have taken the initiative to assign a guard to Estelle; I would have to remember to give her my thanks later. Why hadn't I thought of that before? All of this could have been avoided if I had.

I was about to speak and implore Estelle for just a moment of her time, when the door opened. It was only a crack, as though she only opened it to see what I wanted and had no intention of letting me in. Estelle stood in the crack, her night robe pulled tight around her, her feet bare. Her hair was loose and damp; she had bathed. I opened my mouth to speak, but then I saw the mark on her neck. The horrific scene flashed before my eyes again. He had hurt her. He had left a lasting mark on her. Never before had I wished so hard for Lucy's cordial. I knew the mark would fade in time, but the very sight of it made my blood boil. How dare he!

How dare he? How dare I. I should have followed her faster. I should have arrived there before he even had the chance to make his move. I should have never let him get as close to her as he did. Estelle shifted uncomfortably and combed her fingers through her hair so that it hid her neck and the mark it contained. I shook the images and thoughts from my mind.

"I was hoping to have a word with you," I said rather lamely. Estelle did not respond; she only shifted uncomfortably again. "Please, it will only take a moment. No more."

Slowly, Estelle nodded her consent. "Over there," she whispered softly as she nodded to a small bench that sat in an alcove down the hall. Her message was clear; she didn't trust me enough to invite me in.

I nodded and stepped aside, allowing her to precede me. She walked silently and sat at one end of the bench. She kept her back stiff and straight. She pulled her robe even tighter around her. She stared straight ahead; her eyes avoiding me as best they could. I took my cues from her, and I sat at the other end keeping nearly two feet of empty space between us.

"I must apologize for my words and actions in the garden tonight. I said things I wish you had not heard. Things that were most unbecoming of a man. I frightened you. I made you doubt my character. Worst of all, I did not act with enough haste to prevent any harm from befalling you. For that I am most regretful. I hope, in time, I can regain the trust I betrayed and that in your heart you may find forgiveness for my shortcomings. I am sorry, Estelle."

I watched her carefully as I spoke. She still refused to look at me, but slowly I saw the trepidation of being so near me vanish. Her head sunk lower and lower until it was bowed. At the end of my apology, her eyes were closed as a few tears pushed their way through. My hand ached to reach out and brush them away, but I restrained myself.

"It was a lie?" she said at last, her eyes still shut. "Everything you said in the garden…When you said you wanted…It was all a lie?"

"No, not a lie." Her eyes flashed up to mine, but I did not see fear in them, only confusion.

"I don't understand. If it wasn't a lie then what was it?"

"I took what I thought to be the best course of action, one that would release you as quickly as possible and result in as little harm to you as possible. My behavior was…a diversion."

"A diversion? So you don't desire to…" she looked away quickly as her cheeks began to turn red. I too felt my cheeks grow warmer at the implication of her words.

"Oh, well ah…umm…" I rubbed nervously at the back of my neck. "Well, I…I knew I could not demand your release, or the damage would have been greater. I had to get you away from him first."

"Then your kindness wasn't a ruse?"

"No, it was most certainly not a ruse. Everything I have said or done for you has been in earnest. Please, if you believe nothing else, believe that."

It felt to me like several minutes had passed before she responded. "I do." She reached out hesitantly, and softly placed her hand over mine. "I do believe that, Edmund."

At her touch, I felt my worries dissipate. My shoulders relaxed and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I didn't think I would gain her forgiveness so easily. It seemed too good to be true and it part it was. Her hand was only on mine for a second before she withdrew it.

"I want to, that is," she corrected; my stomach left me and my…heart fell to my feet. "I want to, Edmund, I do, but I…Please, I just need a little time to…reconcile the two Edmunds. Will you be patient with me?" she asked softly. Her eyes were full of doubt and fear that I would reject her.

"Of course," I replied. "I understand, Estelle. You may take all the time you need. I'll be here waiting in the end." And I knew I would be.

Next up: Narnia!