AN-
Enjoy
Things that I hated a lot.
Being sick.
Being surprised when I was supposed to be prepared.
Losing.
Really annoying morons.
But you knew those things already.
But I also hated it when I didn't have enough time to think of a plan. Usually, I was quick in coming up with a plan. However, you try thinking of a plan to hide nine naked men and a naked woman in your living room with only a few seconds.
"Itami, we're back!" The door slammed open and I froze, along with the Akatsuki. We stood still as Jack and Chris entered. It was probably comical to see us, the Akatsuki and I frozen, and the faces that Jack and Chris made were hysterical. Jack stopped mid yell and his mouth hung there while his eyes darted between everyone. Chris's eyes were wide and his mouth slightly open, however not as wide as Jack's.
"I can explain." I stated immediately.
"Can you?" asked Jack, crossing his arms. I nodded in a sagely way.
"Of course, I can definitely explain why there are nine naked men and a naked woman who resemble our cats and fictional criminals." I nodded again. I heard someone face palm behind me, I assumed it to be Sasori or Kakuzu.
"Then explain." Jack replied calmly.
"Well, I decided to bathe one of the cats as punishment, however when it touched the water I soon was facing a naked man, so I screamed and ran away and soon I had nine naked men and a naked woman." I answered.
"Itami, I think we should have gotten you that mental help." Chris muttered after a moment.
"Want proof?" I questioned, grabbing Deidara's arm.
"Proof!" And I threw his arm up showing them his palm. From their pale faces I could assume that they saw the hand mouth, which was impossible to fake in real life. You could fake a Zetsu costume, fake stitches, fake anything like looks. But you couldn't fake your hand having a mouth that has a moving tongue in it.
"…." Chris and Jack stayed silent until Jack spoke.
"Ok…. I believe you, now my question is, why the hell didn't these fictional criminals kill you?" inquired Jack.
"We would never hurt Itami-chan!" replied Tobi, I heard a loud bang and assumed someone had injured Tobi for saying something stupid.
"Itami-chan?" questioned Chris.
"How do they know your name, from the looks of it they're still soaked, so it hasn't been long since they went from cat to human." added Jack. I looked at the Akatsuki.
"Well, do you want the long or abridged version?" I asked.
"Long." demanded Chris.
"Well, I've decided to call this adventure of mine Insomnia, because that's what I've decided on calling the condition I had. Basically, it all started when we had that car accident…."
And so, I told my brothers, the story of my adventures with the Akatsuki. Of course, it told them less detailed parts of my torture, and I left out a few parts with Deidara, but all in all, they got the full truth.
And the best part?
They knew I wasn't lying, because they knew me. They knew when I lied, and I wasn't lying.
Of course, then came the awkward part. Getting clothes. I sent Jack and Chris on a hunt in their room for clothes that would hopefully fit Tobi, Deidara, Pein, Sasori, Hidan and Itachi. However Kisame, Kakuzu and Zetsu proved to be difficult.
"Huh, I might have some extra extra large stuff in my closet." I mumbled.
"Why would you have that?" questioned Konan as I led her and the three giants up to my room.
"I like sleeping in really big shirts, so my friend bought me really big shirts as a joke." I answered as I opened my closet, cautiously peeking in to make sure no weapons were going to impale me.
"Hm." I opened it wider when nothing tried impaling me. I pulled out a ton of Naruto things, posters, drawings, plushies, clothing; I pulled it all out and threw it behind me.
"Um, is this me?" I heard Konan ask as she held a plushy.
"Probably, if not its Kisame." I replied as I pulled a large box out from the depths of my closet. I ripped the tape off and pulled out a few shirts that would most likely be able to fit three of me in it.
"Take it." I threw a black one at Kisame, and a dark green one at Kakuzu. I looked at Zetsu and raised an eyebrow.
"Just give us a large coat." he informed me. I shrugged and pulled out an old raincoat that used to be my uncles.
"Take it." I repeated. Then I ushered them from the room after telling them to find Jack and Chris for pants. I turned to Konan.
"Hm…. I'm afraid that y shirts may be a bit big on you because your chest isn't classified as two watermelons." I muttered, going through my drawers and handing her an avenged sevenfold tank top, a gothic style skirt I wear on picture day, and gray leggings. Then I gave her a piece of paper she made into a rose.
"There we go, now lets check on the morons." Konan laughed and followed me as I trouped downstairs to find Deidara lounging on the couch with his hair in its usual ponytail. He had a blue tee shirt that I recognized as Chris's and a pair of jeans. Sasori was looking at something over on the shelf; he was wearing a black Metallica shirt that went along with the song Master of Puppets. I found that clever, he also had a pair of sweatpants as opposed to Chris's jeans. Itachi was messing around with the books on the table. His hair was also in its usual style, and he had a dark red shirt that I knew was Chris's, and he also had jeans. Pein was sitting on the arm chair observing everything. He had a shirt from my dad's drawer and a pair of pants too.
"Huh, we're still going to have to go to the store sadly." I shook my head. Luckily, I had a part time job that I saved a ton of money up in. Jack and Chris had savings set aside for emergencies.
"We can't find pants for Kisame, but we found a pair for Kakuzu." announced Jack as said Akatsuki followed him.
"Ok, so everyone has clothes?" I asked. Moments later, Hidan and Tobi were herded in by Chris. Hidan had a shirt I recognized as Jack's, I knew it was Jack's because Chris wouldn't wear a shirt that had rips in it and said 'Fuck You' across the chest.
"At least he's wearing a shirt." commented Kakuzu to me as Hidan scowled at him.
"Oi, fuck you." replied Hidan as he sat down. I frowned at Tobi. How did he manage to keep his mask?
"Well Tobi, I must say that you look good." I complimented. He had a black shirt with the Akatsuki cloud on it, surprisingly that shirt was mine. I turned around to scowl at my siblings when I saw it was my shirt.
"Hey! It's a guy's shirt, you just wanted the shirt so bad you didn't care, and it ended up in my room so I gave it to him!" defended Jack.
"Asshole, you get to fend for yourself for dinner tonight." I snapped. I turned around again.
"Ok, so here's the problem, I don't know your sizes so I need you guys to come with me to the store. Kisame however has no pants, and you all need to look more….modern is a good word."I pointed at a few people.
"Deidara, Itachi, Kakuzu, your hair is too long, I'll have to give you hats. Tobi…. you can't come because you have a mask but you look to be the same size as Jack so we'll estimate you around there. Kisame…. you're blue, and missing pants, so give me your sizes. Pein…. eh, you're fine; I walk around with piercings so I see no reason for you not to. However your eyes may draw some attention, if anyone asks they're contacts. Konan, say you died your hair and have contacts in. Kakuzu, contact excuse for you. Hidan, people do have purple eyes, say you bleached your hair. Zetsu, you can stay here with Tobi and Kisame, and Chris." I looked around and nodded to myself.
"That's only if people ask because some people in this stupid place just have to be curious and ask you annoying questions." Jack laughed at me.
"You're only pissed because whenever you go to the mall someone comments on your piercings, hair, and eyes. Or your boobs." My face turned red.
"Jack! Don't think I won't hurt you!" I shouted, pointing a finger at him.
"Bring it." challenged Jack, not thinking I would do anything. I ran forward, did a flying leap over a table and two chairs, and I tackled Jack to the ground. I proceeded to flip him over and make him scream for mercy.
"Insult a girl again and you'll get worse." I warned as I turned around to face the Akatsuki who seemed to be amused for the most part.
"Now, rules, Hidan no killing, no Jashin references, no self harm, no intense swearing unless you hear me doing it." I ordered.
"Fuck you, I'll sacrifice if I fucking want to, bitch." Seconds later a knife found its way into his face.
"It's a present from my boot." I stated as I turned to Kakuzu.
"I'm trusting you to be his baby sitter." Kakuzu nodded and glared at Hidan who was pulling the knife from his face. I turned to Deidara.
"Gloves are necessary, also no clay for you and no explosions. Try and keep your accent down too." I ordered.
"I'll try un." his hands went to his mouth and I turned to my next victim.
"No puppets." I stated, pointing at Sasori. I suspected he'd be no trouble at all, but that didn't mean I shouldn't warn him. All I got was a nod from him. next I turned to Itachi.
"No Sharingan, no fire, nothing." Itachi nodded to my terms. I turned to Konan and Pein.
"I suspect you two will behave but no Jutsu basically, act like civilians. Got it, everyone? Civilians!" I announced. A few Akatsuki groaned but accepted. I turned to Pein.
"Enforce the rule so I know I won't have to find a way to turn you back to cats and neuter someone." I offered, more like ordered.
"Listen to Itami, her word is as good as mine." No one opposed Pein's order.
"Great, now it's time for us to go to the mall. Chris, you stay here and make sure the house doesn't burn down, oh and keep all characters away from my things, my things can cause trouble should they be seen." I snapped. Chris nodded. I grabbed some car keys from a hook by the door.
"You're all lucky; my friend gave me her dads old hummer, you all get to experience my driving practice." Jack snickered.
"Duncan's are great drivers." he added.
"What's a hummer?" asked Sasori. I opened the door and they all gazed out in wonder.
"That," I pointed to my large black truck, "Is a hummer. It's a vehicle, car." I led the Akatsuki over to it. It took a commotion to get a few in, in the end the seating went like this. Konan and I in the front, Jack, Sasori, and Itachi squished in the middle. Hidan, Kakuzu, and Pein squished in the back.
"Ok Itami, so you know how to drive a truck, right?" questioned Jack. I shrugged.
"All I've driven is Old Rick." We named Jack and Chris's car, Old Rick. it was old and rickety, the perfect name for the old death trap. Of course my first suggestion had been the deathtrap.
"Well, let's hope we live." muttered Jack, pulling a helmet from under a seat.
"Now you know how I feel with you and Chris driving." I retorted, putting the car in drive.
This, was going to be very interesting. And it was probably going to give me a migraine.
Lovely.
AN
IMPORTANT NEWS! Ok, so on my page there is an important poll to Wide Awake, go do the poll. It takes like a minute to do it.
Ok, so other than that important news, school today was interesting. First period I was in math, half asleep, when this kid says to our teacher "Have you ever heard of Naruto?" So of course I perk up and the first thing that goes through my mind is "Naruto? Did he fucking say Naruto?" So I listen and when my teacher says no the kid explains Naruto as "A story about a ninja who wears a lot of orange and says believe it a lot and has a bratty emo teammate named Sasuke and his girlfriend, who he like but she doesn't like him." Then, this kid decides to yell "Naruto's for five year olds!" Now, I'm about to explode and tackle this kid, which would be a shock to everyone since I'm so cool and collected and quiet in class, most of the time. Then, to argue the boy who was describing Naruto says "No! Naruto is too complicated for kids, plus it has blood, gore, swearing, and nudity!" So my teacher brings out the boy on the nudity, to which he replies that it was just anime. So the period goes by, and in the end I go up to the boy. I hold out my Leaf symbol necklace and ask "Does this look family?" He stares at it and is like "Hey it's the Naruto Leaf village symbol!" Turns out, he wasn't mocking Naruto, he likes the show! So I talked to him and boasted about my Naruto stuff and Lexi gave me a WTF look in the hall since I was talking to a 'cool' kid.
That is my story. So now, I know I'm not forever alone in my class. The bad news? Now I have about 95% of my class since they agreed Naruto was for kids, the only people don't hate are the timid shy girl who you can't hate, the boy who sits in front of me since I count him as a friend/acquaintance, and the boy who watches Naruto. Lovely.
Does anyone else notice that Itami is slowly changing? She's opening up more, and she's going more insane. :D Its all a part of my plan... lies i have no plot yet, just random tid bits that somehow are going to tie together.
Q-Any instances where you're at work or school or college and you hear something about anime or Naruto?
A-Uhhhh, well first my dad would say I couldn't keep them. Then I'd flip out, bring them inside, and test out all Akatsuki theories if they were Akatsuki colored. if they poofed out…. well… I'd have Itachi Genjutsu my dad, hopefully, and my mom, and then we'd do whatever. And, actually, I'd probably be more wary than that. Criminals, in my house. After verifying that no, I am not going to be murdered, then that would happen.
I also apologize to last chapter's reviewers who I didn't respond to, I usually PM back but I was busy and after awhile I got so many PM conversation messages I got confuse don who I PMed back a review answer
So sayonara, and don't forget the poll!