AN
Jack's wearing a helmet, shits hitting the fan. And I know nothing about cars, is there even such a thing as an accelerator? I don't drive yet so I don't know. I used another fanfiction where someone mentioned the character driving a car as a reference.
Enjoy laughing, i found this chapter funny.
Ok, so with driving something you should know is that my car is extremely sensitive and that if we hadn't been taking a million and one people to the mall then I'd have driven Old Rick since that car was easy to drive. But no, we had a million and one people to drive so we had to take my hummer.
"Oh dear God, un!" shouted Deidara as I made yet another turn that only a Duncan could pull off without crashing and killing everyone within the vehicle.
"Ok, Itami, now go a little slower so that you don't get caught by a cop!" yelled Jack as he tightened the helmet he had pulled on when we entered the car.
"Stop back seat driving!" I barked back as I looked to the accelerator. I was already going twenty above the speed limit; I suppose that was because my cars accelerator was very fragile. I only thought about touching it and here I was speeding over the speed limit.
"There's the mall exit!" called Jack, pointing between Konan and I to point out a large sign that clearly stated I had to take the next right. I remembered to put on the turn signal as I once again turned a sharp turn.
"We're so dead!" squeaked Konan in a very un-Konan-like voice that almost made me turn to look at her. However I kept my eyes on the road as I made a final turn into the mall parking lot, I was sad to see it was full of cars. I finally found a parking spot and stopped, by the time I had gotten out the Akatsuki were kissing the ground.
"You're going to have to ride in it on the way back." I pointed out, a few Akatsuki members turned a shade paler.
"Now, let's go shop." I mentally hoped no one I knew saw me.
First we went to my store, Hot Topic. In there, I made everyone pick out shirts. I found that Deidara, Tobi, and Sasori were roughly the same size so I told them to pick out a few shirts a size bigger so it could fit them all. I also took advantage of sales.
In the end, we had some good clothes. Of course Kakuzu and Kisame were large brutes so we had to get them larger sizes.
"Itami?"
"Fuck, my, life." I groaned. Deidara, Sasori, Konan, Itachi, Hidan, and Pein, who had been my group to watch, all turned when my name had been called. Jack had gone with Kakuzu to find larger sizes; I was left with the rest basically.
"It is you Itami!" squealed Sky as she glomped me. Josh sighed behind her, making a face that told me to ignore her.
"I haven't seen you since the beginning of break; I can't wait until school starts next week so I can see you often again." Ah shit, I forgot about school. Now I get to leave my morons home alone all day. Speaking of my morons.
"Oi, bitch, who's she?" I lightly threw Sky of me before I turned around and gave Hidan a nice kick to the balls. He went down and I threw him a nasty look before turning to Sky.
"You have more friends? I demand you introduce us!" laughed Sky.
"Deidara, Konan, Pein, Hidan, Sasori, and Itachi." I listed, pointing to each, "And Jack went with Kakuzu to find a larger size in a jacket he wanted since Kakuzu is a beast." Hidan laughed at my statement even though he was still on the ground in pain.
"Those are weird names," commented Sky, "Where have I heard them before?" Luckily, Sky didn't watch Naruto so she didn't know who they were. However even though she didn't know Naruto, it didn't stop her from knowing their names somewhat.
"That's like calling my name weird, my names Japanese, so is there's." I deadpanned. Sky blinked.
"Oops, sorry Itami." she replied with a shrug.
"So you're actually out shopping? Heh, if they can get you out then I have to learn their secrets!" Sky pushed past me to talk to the Akatsuki. I turned to Sky.
'Leave, they're not friendly.' I mouthed to Josh who understood the code for 'They're not nice people and they may maul Sky'.
"Sky, didn't your parents want you back soon? We should get going!" called Josh.
"Fine, but I want to hang with your friends some more Itami. Ciao!" Sky laughed and walked away. I scowled after them.
Sky had more or less become a serious bitch. Ever since her hair had gotten longer she was noticed more around school. So the preps had her join cheerleading, and now she was girly. Instead of her old colorful things, now she usually wore her hair down, makeup, a skirt, heels or flats, and she had made her glasses into contacts.
"That's your friend?" asked Sasori in slight disbelief.
"She used to be more down to earth, but while I was in my…coma…. she changed. I wish I could change it but she's happy." I replied, pulling out my phone and showing them an old picture of Josh, Sky, and I.
"That's the same girl?" asked Itachi in a monotone, although he sounded like he didn't believe me.
"Yeah, I was surprised too the first time I saw her when I got out of my coma I was shocked." I answered as I turned back when I heard Jack yelling for us.
"Hey, Itami, look who I found!" I groaned. Behind him trailed two more of my friends, Violet and Kirai. Violet's purple eyes landed on me.
"Hey, It's Itami!' she said to Kirai, Kirai squinted her red-pink eyes at me.
"Damn my eye sight." she grumbled as they approached.
"Sup." I greeted, shooting glances at the Akatsuki.
Violet? Major Naruto fan, like me. She would figure this out easily, and she had an open mind. I was hoping I could pass them off as my group of morons from therapy. Violet doesn't know I don't take therapy, I had told her I was considering it awhile back though so it was a plausible excuse.
"Woah, did you pull them out of Naruto or something?" asked Violet, immediately looking at my morons.
"No. They're my group of morons from therapy." I lied.
"Bullshit." snapped Violet, "Don't fucking lie to me, I know when you do!"
"Ah, give it a rest, you just can't stop your obsession can you?" sighed Kirai.
"You can't stop obsessing over Inuyasha." pointed out Violet.
"Inuyasha is different! Besides Sesshomaru is sooooooooo hot. At least, from what I can see." growled Kirai.
"You can see? I thought you were a bat." replied Violet dryly. They were like water and oil; they fought a lot and didn't mix. However they were best friends nonetheless, "Besides, isn't he the bad guy? That's like me saying that Orochi-moo-moo is hot."
"Orochi-moo-moo?" asked Sasori, clearly amused.
"Orochi-moo-moo, you know, the pedo-snake from Naruto?" clarified Violet. Sasori would no doubt never forget this moment.
"That's why Inuyasha is better, there are no creepy ass characters." retorted Kirai.
"Oh, and I suppose all the he-she's are better." snorted Violet.
"He-she's? Naruto has way more she-males than Inuyasha does!" snapped Kirai. I turned to Hidan.
"Pray for me, I'm going in." Hidan smirked in response as I walke up to the two older girls.
"Get it together, we all know that the Akatsuki beats most of the characters from Inuyasha, however Sesshomaru beats the rest of Naruto in the ground." I snapped, taking their heads and bashing them together.
"Itai, you bitch!" shouted Violet, rubbing her forehead.
"Deal with it, you little shit." I snapped. I loved being taller than Violet, she was tall sure, but none of my female morons surpassed my height.
"Lies, Miroku is hot, so is Inuyasha, and Naraku is evil but I love his eyes…" trailed Kirai.
"Give me a break, Naraku's ugly." commented Jack who admittedly watched Inuyasha.
"Let's escape." I whispered to the Akatsuki and I slowly began backing away. The Akatsuki followed me as I pulled them with me and we hid in this store that my mall had. I believe it was called Himesama, somewhat Japanese and it was just in this mall. However my definition of it was a pit of doom. It was dark in there, however they had some cool shit.
"Look around and if Violet or Kirai enter, hide." I ordered. Hiding was easy in Himesama, it was pitch black. Of course while I watched my morons they had to cause trouble. Deidara, found clay in the multipurpose store. I had to drag him away by his hair. Then he found lighters that were horribly placed next to fireworks. I proceeded to drag him away from it again. I then left him with Kakuzu and Hidan, I orered Kakuzu to babysit Deidara too.
Konan, Pein, and Itachi were much safer. The only problem with them was they were in the book section. In the book section they had manga. In the book section they had the editions that helped out the least.
Itachi and Sasuke arc, mainly Itachi's death and Madara/Tobi talking to Sasuke. Pein's death in the Invasion of Pain arc. And then they had the editions where Madara/Tobi murdered Konan.
"Bad morons!" I shouted as I noticed Konan flip open the book that had her death in it. Sadly, manga for some reason is printed backwards and that meant you opened it to the end. And for some reason I only found actual manga that was printed weird in this store. So when Konan opened it, she opened to the end.
Where she was dead.
"Drop the book!" I proceeded to throw a book and it hit the one in her hand, making it fall. She looked pale and I walked up to it.
"Ignore it!" I hissed in her ear as I picked it up and put it back on the shelf.
"No manga books for you, you can get books but nothing that can cause problems!" I am very glad Konan only saw herself dead rather than Madara/Tobi murdering her.
That sounds cold.
"I suppose this is the thing that you said we are from?" asked Itachi, I nodded and went to respond only to find yet another problem on my hands.
"Itami?"
FUCKING HELL! Where are these people coming from!? Why do all the people who know me have to go to the mall on the only day I go to the mall!
I sidestepped to avoid being glomped and a brown haired girl fell onto the ground next to me.
"Kayan." I sighed. Kayan stuck to me like glue ever since I was shot. She blamed herself. And then I noticed how lifeless she was getting. I tried letting her stay near me, but that always caused problems. Like last week, she accidentally stabbed me with a palette knife. The week before that she dropped a very heavy object on my food. It was moments like that I was glad I briefly knew how to use what chakra I had gained from insomnia. I managed to avoid getting my entire foot flattened.
"I can't believe you're at the mall, I can show you all my favorite stores and stuff!" Kayan was a bit like a child. She liked toys, and simple things. So I had to decline this offer or else I'd be stuck looking like a pissed off mom following her around.
"Sorry Kayan, but I'm here with my friends." I gestured towards Konan, Itachi, and Pein. Kayan stared at Pein. I knew what was coming.
"He's like a clone of you!" she shouted, gaining the attention of the rest of my morons.
"Itami, who's this? Another friend, un?" teased Deidara. I gave him a death glare.
"Kayan, we're here for Konan's birthday so we're a bit pressed for time." I tried. Kayan isn't the most intelligent so I was hoping that this would get her off my back.
"Ooh, can I come? The more the merrier!" cheered Kayan.
"Konan's very shy," I kicked Konan who hid behind Pein, "So I think that's a bad idea." Kayan gave me a look like I had just killed her puppy.
"Please. I promise I'll act normal!" Kayan threw herself at my feet.
"I need new friends." I sighed before kicking her somewhat gently in the head as she hugged my feet.
"No. Now get off the ground." I snapped.
"Please!?" she looked ready to cry. I sighed and looked to Itachi.
"Any words of wisdom?" I asked. Itachi gave Kayan a look.
"Itami is short tempered, I suggest that you choose to leave her alone as she is already stressed. Another person will only make her even more temperamental." I gave Itachi a death glare.
"See, yeah? She looks ready to kill!" Deidara pointed to me. Kayan deflated.
"Oh…. ok…. see ya Itami." She dragged herself away slowly. When she disappeared into the blackness of the pit of doom, I turned around and hit my head into the nearest person. Sasori blinked down at me.
"Why are you smashing your head into me?" he questioned.
"You're a puppet, if I smashed my head into anyone else the effect wouldn't last." I replied, smashing my head into his chest again.
"I think she's stressed." commented Deidara.
"We should leave now before another one of your friends find us." decided Pein.
"Best suggestion I've heard all day." I led them to the counter where I paid for a pew things my morons wanted. Then we left and as we were walking out, you guessed it, more trouble. However this trouble cam ein the form of an annoying jock named Kenji who was fucking obsessed over me.
What pissed me off?
He was an asshole! And he was a fucking stalker, I swear he pays my neighbor so he can use a camera to take pictures of me changing in my room through the window!... I'm such a hypocrite, I try to convince myself no one can see me even though I'm almost positive that Kenji can from my neighbors window.
Did you know this guy had a picture of me on his phone? In the picture, I was in my room.
Proof enough?
I thought so.
Back to life.
"Itami, I didn't know you liked malls!" he came up to me, and then invaded my fucking bubble. I like my bubble, especially if I don't like tyou.
"Get out of my bubble before I punch you!" I snapped. Kenjhi gave me a smile and threw an arm around my shoulder.
"I love it when you're feisty."
Let us add to things I hate.
Oblivious morons who have peanuts for a brain, or better yet, NO BRAIN.
"And I hate you." I turned to the Akatsuki giving them pleading looks; however Hidan was smirking at me. Pein and Konan were watching me, wondering what I would do and Kakuzu was trying to pull Deidara in on a bet on what I would do.
I turned to the intelligent ones.
I gave Itachi and Sasori an obvious look that stated, 'HELP ME!'. Itachi just stared and turned to Kakuzu.
"I bet that someone will help her before she pounds his face in." I gave Itachi a death glare as Sasori sighed.
"Hands off my girlfriend."
Fucking hell. This was SO NOT MY DAY.
That was the worst excuse Sasori could have made. The worst. Kenji, being a jock, would talk about this encounter. Word would spread I have a boyfriend, and then, there goes my steel reputation of being heartless. And then, I wouldn't be left alone. People would request to see him, and then what then? Grimly would be all over my ass at school.
Oh, yes, him. You're probably wondering why I didn't throw his ass in jail.
He was already in jail when I was in my coma however his rich fatass dad paid the fine to get him out. When jack and Chris heard after I got out, I almost laughed because they almost went on a rampage. Keyword almost, I told them to brush it off and that if he tried shooting me again then I'd pull out my own gun.
It's scary how that reassured them. They didn't care that their little sixteen almost seventeen year old sister was carrying around a dangerous weapon? My brothers are weird.
Anyway, back to life once more.
"You have a boyfriend?" asked Kenji in an accusing tone. Well, the only response I can have is a yes now.
"Yup." I lied. Kenji let me go and Sasori, with a fucking stoic face merely put an arm around my shoulder. I shot a look at my morons as Kenji fumed and thought of something to say.
Kakuzu was glaring at me, telling me through his look to knock Kenji out so he could win. Itachi, Konan, and Pein were watching, Konan looked very amused. Hidan was laughing loudly and teasing Deidara who looked murderous.
Why?
Well, I think he may be jealous.
"Then prove it." Kenji finally stated. I gave him a blank stare. Kenji smirked and made a kissy face.
"Hell no." was my response. Deidara came up next to me on my other side.
"We'd appreciate it if you stopped harassing our friend, hm." snapped Deidara. Kenji made a funny face.
"You're getting lower Itami, this guy's hair is longer than yours! And he has a weird accent that makes no sense!" Kenji turned.
"I'll get that proof later." He stormed off and I sighed.
"Ah hell, my life sucks." I decided.
And it was true. Because I believe that my usual catchprahse was fuck my life. And so, I repeat.
Fuck my life.
AN
This was long.
I suppose it was inspiration.
With the poll, I am fucking happy Deidara is winning. I put it up because some people(I am not naming names) were like "Itami would look soooo much better with Sasori", "I love how Sasori and Itami talk to each other(When do they talk, like chapter two of Insomnia and that's it…. and the One Tail arc somewhat)" and "Deidara is like, using Itami." So I put up the poll. And I added Itachi. Oh Jashin, if Itachi somehow goes from two votes to over Deidara's eight votes, I may die from panic. I'm bad at writing Itachi! And I like my other option with 'Itami should just go die in a hole!' No one voted for it yet, but I'm waiting so I can write a long entry about it in an authors note.
On another note, i drew a four panel manga with Itami hiding in Jack's room. I might put it on on my Deviantart, but i'm too lazy. :)
Anyway, today my dad decided that I was being a baby while I slowly pulling the bandage off my arm. In reality, I want to know why the blood work place had to tape the bandage cotton thing over it instead of a normal band aid. Anyway, my dad came up to me and I, knowing he was going for my tape, tried to flee. However I was cornered in our kitchen, so I sank to the cold, hard tile floor and curled u trying to protect my arm. My dad defeated me in an embarrassing way. He tickled me before grabbing my tape and pulling it. HARD. The worst part? it only came off half way, I got to pull off the second half. It's been over two hours. There's still glue on my arm from the tape, it still stings, and I can't bend my arm or else.
Oh, and my favorite snack food ever. GUSHERS! I love gushers, I love the red ones that my school sells for the snack. I made my dad buy me four boxes today, however I decided to try the multicolor ones, bleh. Not as good. I like red best.
Q-What's your favorite anime? If it's Naruto, what's your second? Who's your favorite character in this anime?
A-I believe I told both my stories for this, the one in class where I almost murdered some kid for dissing Naruto, and then where I made my fellow art nerds piss their pants from me breathing fire at them when they insulted anime. I mood swinged on them.
Sayonara