Thank you my lovelies. I hope that when I write my own original story for publication (which I'm going to start soon), that you'll give it a wee read and let me know what you think. All of your feedback has made me feel so confident and it's reflecting in my work here. Thank you for believing in me. You're all very special to me.

Claire bear

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Chapter 22

Damon lay Elena down carefully and stroked her hair away from her face. He wanted so much to hate her, but somehow he couldn't. She looked so vulnerable and lost. He'd felt for her too in the past and she still had the ability to pull at his heart strings, until she'd taken Stefan from him. He knew that he was hardly innocent in it all either. After all, he had technically led Stefan down this path away from her too. They'd both suffered here. At least she had never been an instigator in it, just an innocent party to it all and for that reason he couldn't hate her now.

She opened her eyes with a start and grabbed him to her gasping and he cooed at her softly and reassured her. She realised she was at the boarding house and safe and she began to relax.

"How do you feel?" He tilted her chin and searched her eyes and she paused as she surveyed her body.

"I feel fine." She sighed in relief.

"It actually worked." Damon said in amazement about Elijah's potion. Who'd have thought? She smiled and looked around for Stefan and he sat back and reigned himself in again. They were going to have a reunion now and Damon didn't want to watch.

"He's ok. He's taking Bonnie home. He called." Damon said and she nodded and sat back in relief.

"He was hurt so bad, I thought…" She began to get emotional and Damon squeezed her knee.

"I got him."

She looked to him and they shared a brief moment of discomfort and almost rivalry all in their expressions alone. They looked away from each other in silence. Damon sighed and stood up, pacing slowly as she watched him. They couldn't go on like this.

"Klaus?" She asked.

"Dead."

"Really dead?"

"As a doorknob. Elijah killed him with Bonnie."

"It's finally over." She said relieved and on the verge of tears and he nodded.

"Yeah. Guess it is." He commented and she looked at him again. He was deliberating something but she couldn't tell what.

"What?"

"Guess, it's time for me to go. I said I'd stay till this was sorted." He said avoiding eye contact and she tensed suddenly.

"Wait, you're leaving again? What about Stefan?"

"What about Stefan?" He said sounding annoyed and she sighed as she tried to get her brain working. It's true that she didn't want Damon to be able to interfere in their relationship, but she knew how much Stefan would be hurt and grieved if Damon left like this, without a resolution. She opened her mouth and gave out an unsure, anxious sound instead and he turned to her fully.

"Do you really hate me that much?" He asked honestly and she shook her head in confusion. "You want me to stay here and watch?" He asked incredulously and she realised that that was what she was asking him to do – stay here to keep Stefan happy even though she knew how much it would hurt him. Her conscience threw a pile of bricks onto her shoulders and she physically sagged from it as he awaited her response.

"Damon I…" She choked and began to cry. He tensed but held himself where he was. He couldn't be won over by tears this time. He had to protect himself from now on. "I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth with her hand and he frowned and softened a little. "There's something I have to tell you!"

"It's ok Elena, I know you love him too." He said croakily and she put her head in her hands. That was the last of his strength gone right there, as he went to her an embraced her as she cried.

"No, I don't deserve this Damon. Not with what I did." She pulled away from his chest and he looked at her confused and concerned. She looked down at her fingers as she fidgeted. "I couldn't take it, seeing you two together. I felt like you'd stolen him from me, like you'd made him love you instead and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I couldn't give him my blood and help him like that."

He sighed and put his head in his hands tired by the constant struggle of all of this.

"Did you know that he would love you? Did you know it would happen?" She asked, trying to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice.

"No." He said and looked at her straight.

"Why didn't you stop it? Why did you let him?"

"I…I don't know..."

"You saw it was happening didn't you, before you started to feel something back and you let it happen." He stood up and paced again.

"It wasn't like that, we were having fun…we were in the moment. It just took over!" He defended and she looked down at her hands again.

"I really hated you. I wanted you to feel what it was like, but I never thought I'd feel like this."

"What?" He frowned and stopped pacing. She looked up at him and he clicked. His face straightened and she took a breath. "What did you do?" He whispered and she chewed her lip. "Elena what the hell did you do?" He said louder and she sighed in torment and swallowed.

"I asked Elijah to remind Stefan how much he loved me." She said, her guilt reflected in her voice as he fell silent in astonishment. She looked up to him as he processed it all. She was hoping that she'd see some relief on his face, or anger, anything, but he just stared at her dumbfounded.

"I didn't ask for him not to love you anymore, I just…I just wanted him to remember how much he felt for me too. He chose to break up with you and come back to me."

Damon gave a short clipped laugh, sounding slightly unhinged.

"So that's what it's all about then? This love from a Doppelganger. Nothing's real ever! Everything is manipulation and lies!" He barked and she recoiled in fear. Of course, she'd forgotten about Katherine and everything she had done to them. She'd never made that connection until now and she stood up horrified that he'd cast her as the same.

"No Damon please, it's not like that, I love him…"

"Huh!" Damon laughed again and held his hips but he was blind angry.

"I love him so much I didn't want to lose him! You would have done the same!" She defended and he looked at her as though he could kill her. She shrank backwards.

"I would never mess with his mind." He said coldly and with hate and she began to sob and pace herself. He held himself tight and tried to breathe. He wanted to kill her, but Stefan wouldn't ever forgive him. His cell phone wrang and he pulled it out of his pocket not even looking at the caller ID.

"What?" He hissed and Stefan answered in surprise.

"Damon? I'm on my way back, where are you? Is Elena ok?" Stefan asked concerned and Damon gritted his teeth together.

"Oh she's fine."

"I'll see you soon." Stefan hung up and Damon slid his cell back into his pocket, not taking his eyes off of her as he did. She held herself.

"What are we going to do?" She asked and he exhaled.

"We aren't going to do anything. You are going to tell him about this." He stated and she nodded anxiously. He stared at her another few minutes before he left the room and went into the kitchen to grab a blood bag from the fridge.

He lay his forehead against the cool metal of the fridge and closed his eyes. Everything made so much sense now. Stefan hadn't just suddenly had a change of heart. He hadn't stopped loving him. Still, he had broken up with him and went back to Elena and he hadn't been compelled to do that. Knowing about the compulsion took the sting out of the equation a little but didn't make everything ok. He sighed and moved away to sit down. Where did he go from here? He began to drink from his blood bag as he heard Stefan's car approach. He sighed and looked down at the table. He wanted to stay and hear this conversation but he didn't want to be involved in it. He wanted to make sure she told him, before he decided whether he was going to leave. He shook his head at himself.

Stefan came in the front door and called out for him. He raised his eyebrows at that, but remained seated.

"Elena." Stefan sighed and went to her, pulling her into his arms as she sighed. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She reassured and swallowed as he checked her eyes for signs of anything spooky and unusual. She blushed feeling nauseated at what she was going to have to do.

"Where's Damon?" He asked and she blinked in surprise.

"Damon?" She called and heard him huff in annoyance from the kitchen. Stefan turned his head in surprise and moved to go see him when she caught his arm. "Stefan, I…I have to tell you something." She blurted and Stefan turned back to her. She released his arm and beckoned to him to come and sit down with her. He cast a look back towards the kitchen in confusion as to why Damon wasn't coming out to join them and he chewed his lip. He needed to talk to him, to tell him how he felt, but Elena needed him right now. He begrudgingly followed her to the sofa and sat down, feeling nervous.

"Stefan, you know how much I love you." She began and he gulped. She took his hands. "I'd do anything for you. When you came tonight to trade places with Jenna…" She paused as she realised. Jenna…She held her breath and tensed and he squeezed her hands in comfort and she shook her head. She'd think about all of that later. She needed to make this right first. "I was so scared of losing you too. I couldn't bare it Stefan. I love you soo much." She began to cry and he embraced her.

"I love you too." He whispered.

"It's because I love you so much that I hated Damon. I hated what happened between you. I still do. I'm sorry." She wept and he released her and kissed her forehead. She took a shaky breath.

"Just because I love him, doesn't mean I don't love you. You're so special to me." He stroked her face gently and she looked into his eyes and frowned a fraction at his use of words. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Elena, everything that's happened has been a real eye opener lately. I don't want this constant danger for you. I want you to have a normal human life – to have school and prom and friends who don't endanger you."

She frowned again and exhaled as he continued.

"Because of us, Caroline is vampire, Jenna is…" He trailed off as she blinked fresh tears down her face. "Klaus is dead. Katherine's probably left by now because her compulsion will have worn off now that he's dead. Technically, you're a Doppelganger but there's no one to use that against you anymore. You and Jeremy can rebuild your lives together and live."

"What are you saying Stefan?" She whispered.

"I don't want any more supernatural interference in your life." She cupped her face gently. "Including me." She gasped and began to cry again. "Elena, I'm not good for you. I don't belong. We're not the same. Damon and I…" He trailed off, gulping at her pain and Damon walked into the lounge gobsmacked at what he was saying. He turned to look at him. Damon looked pale and in shock.

"Damon and I belong together." Stefan said, looking Damon in the eye as Damon reeled and chewed his lip. He turned back to Elena who was now flushed with emotion and fidgeting with her hands.

"There's something you need to know." She whispered. "This wasn't all your choice."

"What?" He asked.

"Elijah compelled you to love me again." She couldn't look in his eyes and he stood up sharply, staring at her as his throat began to close. She looked up at him. "I didn't want to lose you. I asked him to remind you how much you loved me." His mouth hung open in horror and he looked to Damon. Damon was looking down at the ground. He looked back to Elena again as he tried to breathe. There were no words. He didn't know what to say, how to feel. He walked to the fireplace shaking and weak at the knees and leaned against it.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered full of regret.

Damon felt awkward and unsure of what he should here. He propelled himself forward and went to Stefan's side. Stefan closed his eyes. He squeezed his shoulder but didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry." Stefan whispered and Damon looked back to Elena. "Damon." Stefan added and looked at him. Damon looked surprised and taken aback. Stefan turned towards him and held him at his arms as Damon swallowed and looked at him unsure.

Elena rose from the sofa, wiping her eyes and holding herself.

"We've all been through a lot today. Maybe we should get some rest." Damon suggested nervously and both Stefan and Elena looked to him. Damon gave Stefan a tight lipped smile and squeezed his arms back, pulling away from him and leaving to go up to his room. Stefan watched him go.

"I love him Elena." Stefan said quietly. "I thought what we had was better, more sensible. I wanted it to work. Even when we tried this again, I still couldn't stop thinking about him. Whatever Elijah did wasn't enough." He said pointedly and she nodded and held herself tighter. "I have no idea how to feel about this. None, but I do know that I want you to leave." He said calmly and she choked and nodded again.

"Please forgive me Stefan. I'm not Katherine. I just wanted to love you." She croaked and he exhaled.

"I know that, but this is too much Elena." He sighed. "Please go." She nodded and walked away slowly, hoping he'd call her back as she went but he didn't. She closed the door behind her and left. He lingered in the lounge for a while, unsure of what to do next as he paced. Would Damon forgive him for leaving him? He couldn't tell. Should he rest before trying to get him back? He did feel exhausted, but he doubted he'd be able to.

He ascended the stairs and knocked on Damon's door. Damon didn't answer. He went in anyway. He needed to say something now, he couldn't wait. Damon was looking out of his window with his back turned and didn't turn around when he entered. Stefan closed the door behind him and lay back resting against it.

"Funny how things never work out the way you'd think." Damon pondered out loud and Stefan kept silent. "I expected shouting and hysterics."

"That could still happen." Stefan said.

"She's gone." Damon pointed out and Stefan chewed his lip.

"Doesn't mean I won't get hysterical."

"Yeah." Damon gave a clipped chuckle. "Everything's fucked."

"It doesn't have to stay that way. Damon, I meant everything I said down there." Stefan willed him to turn around. Damon tightened but still didn't turn around. "Damon. I love you."

"You've said that before. Everybody says that."

"Forgive me please." Stefan pleaded. "I don't deserve it but I need it." Damon turned around finally but his expression gave nothing away.

"How can I trust you? Why the hell should I?"

"Because you love me too and you know that I know this is my last chance." Stefan said and Damon narrowed his eyes. "You know that I'll do anything to get you back, that I'll gladly tear out my own heart and give it to you, because it's yours. It belongs to you. It has all along, despite the compulsion I wanted you."

"Then why did you leave me?" Damon said through his teeth and scowled at him.

"Because I thought she was the most sensible choice. I was trying to hide from myself again, like I always do. I've been doing it for so long, it's hard to shake the habit."

"Well I've hated you for a long time and that's a hard habit to shake too!" Damon hissed at him and Stefan swallowed painfully.

"I know." Stefan agreed as Damon became irritated. "We don't have to be ruled by anything anymore. We can choose."

"We did choose and then you changed your mind."

"I will never leave you again." Stefan said slowly and concisely and Damon huffed and folded his arms. "You know what? I'm not going to get hysterical. It's a waste of energy because it won't change anything. I don't want you to make your decision based on that." Stefan said calmly. He'd never felt so calm actually. Everything felt clear, as clear as day. Damon squinted at him.

"I love you brother." Stefan said and got down onto his knees as Damon's eyes widened in amazement. He looked up at him waiting as Damon opened his mouth to speak and let out a puff of air.

"Get up Stefan."

"Not until you take me back." Stefan said and Damon frowned.

"Stand up for god sake." Damon huffed and Stefan just looked up at him. Damon walked over and pulled him to his feet and Stefan searched his eyes in longing. "You are such a fucking idiot brother."

"I'm your fucking idiot." Stefan whispered and Damon sighed and chewed his lip. Stefan reached up and ran his finger through Damon's hair. Damon closed his eyes.

"I'm leaving Stefan, really leaving this time. I don't want to be here anymore. There's too much baggage, too much history." Damon opened his eyes again and Stefan clenched his jaw.

"Then I'm coming with you."

"Stefan…" Damon grunted and Stefan cupped his face in both hands.

"I'm coming with you."

"I don't want you to."

"I don't care." Stefan said and Damon huffed in surprise. "I'm a selfish bastard that wants you. I've always been selfish and now I'm finally realising it. I don't deserve you, but I don't care. I'll follow you wherever you go until I can prove to you I'll never hurt you again." Damon listened with his heart in his throat as Stefan smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

Damon took a breath and closed his eyes, removing Stefan's hands and stepping back. Stefan let him digest it all and Damon walked out of the room. Stefan followed him silently as he walked down the stairs.

"I need to think." Damon said and blurred out of the door into the woods. Stefan sat down calmly and waited. He'd sit here all day if he had to until Damon came back.