AN
Enjoy
When we got back to the house, I was still in a somewhat emotional mood. That all left me when my phone beeped and I checked it to see Violet had sent me a video of the entire fight. So I had an entire video of me kicking Sky's ass.
Lovely.
I proceeded to show Pein, whose lecture I had tuned out on the way back.
"You should not be proud," he scolded, but then, a rare smirk made its way onto his face, "However you kicked her ass." I was proud I was praised by Pein, until he decided to wallop me on the back of the head, "That's for not listening to me as I was scolding you."
Next, my morons all crowded the living room as I replayed the video for them multiple times.
"Good job bitch, you make me proud." Hidan praised, receiving a Gibbs smack from Kakuzu, similar to the smack Pein had given me previously.
"Don't encourage her behavior... However it was a very good kick you did in the end." Kakuzu stated before he went back to counting money he most likely found and stole from our wallets and various hiding places. Deidara grinned at me. Truthfully, I had been ignoring Deidara. I had no idea what I felt for him, and I still wanted an explanation on why I was told he was dead, when he was standing right in front of me.
"That, was awesome, yeah." he complimented. I nodded in response as Sasori looked to me.
"Your fighting abilities are far superior to others in this world than in ours." Sasori observed, I took it as a compliment. I felt my heart warm, I loved praise truthfully. No one ever praised me because no one either liked me or had the balls to do it.
Praise whore.
No, she just likes compliments, she doesn't get them often.
Ah shit, it's my mind fucking with me again. I'm like Zetsu at times, only with three instead of two, and it's all in my head.
'Fucking hell, I thought I got rid of you two.' I thought back angrily, only to receive laughs from them.
You can't get rid of me!
It's near impossible to get rid of one's own mind….
I sighed and rubbed my temple, almost missing the praise Kisame gave me.
"Thanks." I mumbled back to the blue man before I told everyone I had a migraine and that I was going to rest upstairs. So I trouped up to my room, and sat in the darkest corner of my room where I stared at the wall and I went into my head.
Tenshi had her arms crossed and a large smirk on her face as Akuma looked ready to murder. From a few previous visits I had into my subconscious, I learned that this was quite normal because when I sent them there, they enjoyed fucking around and insulting each other. It's easy to do, they're absolute opposites. Thus why they were named Akuma and Tenshi.
"You're a moron." huffed Akuma, pointing at me.
"She isn't a moron, just not as intelligent as we are." Tenshi defended, "Besides we're a part of her."
"Both of you shut up and go hide in my sub-conscious or whatever, I don't need to speak with you two." I barked. Tenshi pouted in my direction and Akuma scowled.
"It's not good to bottle your feelings." Tenshi informed me.
"Yeah, you'll kill someone eventually if you do." added Akuma, both ignoring me.
"I'm not bottling my feelings; I'm just choosing to deal with them later than now." I growled.
"Well, you're not going to be able to handle it soon." Tenshi chirped.
"Yeah, so I suggest you go cry like a fucking baby in the shower so the morons don't hear you, then you can take your anger out on the Jashinist or your punching bag." advised Akuma.
"The shower?" I questioned Akuma. She smirked.
"You've got your tough little façade going, they'll hear you without background noise, besides while in the shower they can't disturb you unless they want to be called perverts." she explained.
"That's actually a very good idea, I'm proud of you." Tenshi commented to Akuma, "What is it Itami calls you? Akuma? I'm proud of you Akuma."
"Shut your trap, Tenshi." huffed Akuma as she walked off into the darkness of my mind.
"Hey, wait for me!" cried Tenshi, running off after Akuma.
"Morons!" I muttered to the darkness as I faded from my mind and found myself back in my room. I stood after a moment and headed into my bathroom where I closed the door. I turned my shower on and plugged the drain. I stripped and sat down in the middle of my tub where I just, stared at the wall.
Then, I felt them.
The tears that cascaded down my cheeks, the tears I had held in for years. I couldn't stop them, despite not really feeling sad. Soon though I felt myself sobbing, and I was glad that Akuma had suggested the shower.
I didn't notice that I was bleeding until I noticed the red in the water that was filling up the tub around me. I felt my face and found that when I had let Sky scratch me, she managed to get really deep. No one had noticed until now though because I had my bang on that side of my face.
The water stung the cut, but I didn't really notice. I just stared at my hand, watching the crimson get washed off. When it was gone, I smashed my fist into the wall and I felt new tears begin to drizzle down my face. I couldn't stop them.
"I hate this." I whispered, pulling my knees to my chest so I could rest my face in them to avoid getting my face soaked, "I hate feeling so…." I couldn't think of what to describe my feelings. I suppose, emotionless would do, but then again I was being very depressing. Then, my random bursts of anger and sadness weren't helping either.
I suppose I stayed there, battling my emotions for quite a while because after some time I heard a knock on my door. I ignored it until they began banging on my door.
"Who is it?" I called back, composing myself so that my voice wouldn't crack.
"It's me, Konan." replied the only female Akatsuki, "Can I come in?" It really didn't matter to me, we went in hot springs together, and I'm sure when she had to heal me she had to change me.
"Whatever." I answered. The door opened and shut behind the familiar blue haired woman. She came over to where I was sitting in the tub and she knelt next to it.
"Are you ok?" she asked. I nodded my head.
Liar.
It's not polite to lie.
'Shut up!' I cried in my head, but I didn't show any emotion on my face.
"Answer me truthfully, Itami, and I'm not talking physically. You seem lost." I shrugged.
"I suppose… I never thought I would see you guys again. And last I checked, Deidara was dead." Konan blinked at me a few times, then looked like she wanted to face palm. Instead of face palming, she gave me a sheepish look.
"I suppose we forgot to tell you because of the shock of coming here. But Deidara never died, he used a clay clone. But the clone added onto the fight took so much of his chakra; Zetsu couldn't locate him and figured he was dead. By the time he got back, your body was just a shell. No mind, no breathing, you looked dead. We even buried your body. Deidara was very depressing for days after. It was very… gloomy in the base without you. And the food wasn't as good." admitted Konan. I blinked. Then blinked again.
"So you mean to tell me, that after being depressed, thinking Deidara was dead, he was actually alive and Zetsu just messed up?" I asked incredulously. Konan threw me another sheepish look.
"Zetsu didn't tell us anything, we assume that is what happened and from Deidara's account of what happened." Konan informed me. I shrugged in response.
"So Itami, how long are you going to sit in here?" questioned Konan. I shrugged again.
"How long have I been in here?"
"An hour." she replied with a blank look. I snorted.
"Longest shower I've ever taken. I'll be out in like ten minutes." I decided. Konan left after a moment and I spent the next ten minutes just staring at the wall, thinking.
When I got out I was wrinkled and I pulled on my underwear, black sweatpants, and a tank top. I then pulled my red hoodie on and decided to lie on my bed. I pulled out my IPod and just listened to music. I managed to get through 'Somewhat I Belong' by Linkin Park before one of my morons decided they wanted to annoy me.
As the lyrics of 'In the End' came on a familiar silver-haired Jashinist came up to my room. He silently sat next to me and stole one of my earphones so he could listen.
"You're being surprisingly quiet." I murmured.
"You look like you want to fucking die." Hidan informed me. I sighed.
"I don't, at least not now, but, I'm not really feeling to my usual. I suppose the counselor brought out my depressing side." I muttered.
"Well bitch, you should get back to normal because it's fucking beyond depressing. Your brothers aren't here to be fucking funny and we don't have a shit of an idea on what half your crap does." Hidan snapped. I scowled at him.
"If you came up here to bitch to me, go back downstairs." I snarled. Hidan shook his head.
"I didn't come up here to be an asshole, this fucking time, but you better stop being so damn depressing before Dei-chan decides to come up here with Tobi shooting rainbows out of his ass." I chuckled slightly at that visual image.
"Yes, because Tobi would shoot fucking rainbows out of his ass." I replied sarcastically.
"It's the best I could think of to get a fucking chuckle out of you, stone hearted bitch." muttered Hidan. I surmised that Hidan was even the one to have this conversation with me. Usually he just argued with me for amusement. This was new.
"Don't' forget that we fucking care about you bitch, so don't go all suicidal on us." Hidan warned me before he stood and left. I blinked, slightly shocked from his odd behavior.
"That, was fucking weird." I decided aloud as I stood. I decided that in my depression I could at least be productive. So I started on school work I had neglected.
I got through two questions before I discarded my book back into my bag and I went back to just staring at my ceiling and listening to music. 'A Demon's Fate' by Within Temptation came on and I felt my mind wander to depressing thoughts once again.
After quite a lot of thinking, I finally realized what I felt like. I finally found a word for what I wanted to say to myself in the shower.
"I hate feeling so….dead."
3RD PERSON
"I'm worried about Itami." murmured Konan as the Akatsuki sat on all the chairs and couches in the Duncan's living room.
"It's depressing with Itami being so…. well depressing." muttered Kisame.
"Do you think someone should go up and talk to her?" questioned Sasori.
"I'll go, un!" offered Deidara.
"No, you shouldn't fucking go, the last thing she heard about you was you died after you said you'd be back." growled Hidan.
"No, I said I'd try to be back, I didn't try to get her hopes up, yeah!" argued Deidara.
"Fuck that, I'll go up and talk to the bitch." snarled Hidan, getting up and storming out. His stomps quieted as he climbed the stairs to Itami's room.
"Do you think that was wise?" questioned Kakuzu, thinking of his idiotic partner.
"I think it was a rather good decision." Itachi spoke up.
"I don't. What if he riles her up?" replied Kisame, giving his partner a curious look.
"Hidan is actually rather attune to Itami." Pein pointed out, immediately getting everyone's attention.
"What do you mean by that, Leader-sama?" inquired Kakuzu respectfully.
"Hidan seems to know how Itami is feeling; I've seen it in his actions. They both don't realize it, but I believe they are closer than they think. They're much like siblings." Pein replied. Deidara felt himself let out the breath he had been holding when Pein had said that Itami and Hidan were close.
'Why am I so worked up over this?' wondered Deidara, although he didn't let his thoughts show on his face.
"They do bicker often, and fight." mused Sasori.
"It's annoying. I think it's nice that they're close like that. I think it's annoying how they're both so loud." Zetsu bickered with himself. After a moment through, they stopped because Hidan walked back into the room.
"The bitch is so out of her usual self it's fucking depressing." Hidan reported before taking his spot on a beanbag chair they had dragged from Jack's room.
"What do you think is making her so depressed?" questioned Konan.
"I think it's the shock of her leaving us so abruptly when she learned to live with us, she believed that Deidara was dead along with it. Now, us showing up when she had tried to go back to living normally has set her off." Pein decided.
"It's also the fact that a lot happened to her with us. She was tortured by Orochimaru, almost killed repeatedly, that is a lot for someone who isn't a ninja to take it. Even ninja won't always take it in well." Itachi explained.
"So what can we do to help Itami, yeah?" inquired Deidara.
"We just have to support her and make sure she doesn't get hurt anymore." announced Konan.
They all agreed.
AN
So, I got the new Naruto game. Two words. FUCKING. EPIC. I also got the new Sim games, Sim City likes fucking with me, and I only played it once because the servers have been down. WTF?
Q-What's your favorite videogame? If you don't have one, what's one you want to play? Why?
A-One thing? I suppose troll them. But I would do a ton of shit. Like hug Tobi, fuck with Hidan (No not in that sense, you need mind soap), I loved Iotwt's idea of taking Hidan to church. Yes, I abbreviated your name. I'm lazy. I would take him to my church and set him onto the Confirmation prep lady, I didn't do any of my homework or masses yet this year. They're due next month. And the lady knows who I am, me, out of all like 200 teenagers, she knows me. Because I haven't done shit yet. FML.
Sayonara.