What? Has it been a month already? Ha! No! But I figured you've done enough waiting as it is, and why make you wait when I didn't have to. So here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy! And thanks for sticking with me.

The Water is Wide

Chapter 22

A Rose by Any Other Name…

Peter's return was very unusual. Typically, the moment either of us returned from an extensive bout of absence, be it a voyage to the far islands or a hunting trip to the Western Woods, we would meet in his study and confer over a glass of ale. Now he has shut himself in his study and refused to speak to any of us. He spoke with Estelle however, and I should have been in with her for that meeting. There is only one possible reason I could think of that would make Peter desire solitude after having been away for four months. He had failed to find any comforting news regarding Estelle's siblings and he now blamed himself for their loss.

That was madness of course. He was no more at fault than I was or Estelle was. But how could I convince him of that if he refused to speak with me. He kept his guard by his door and they only allowed passage to those Peter allowed in. The one time I caught him leaving his study for a brief moment, he said he would not see me until I had spoken with Estelle. I would have been glad to speak with Estelle; I knew she was upset, but I couldn't find her.

She had disappeared after her meeting with Peter. No one had seen her. She wasn't in her room or in the usual places she liked to sit. I thought perhaps she had rode out to the ledge, but both Brenna and Philip were still at the Cair and neither one had seen her. I was beginning to really worry when I walked by a large window that overlooked the beach and caught sight of something sitting on the sand. She had made herself into a little ball by drawing her knees into her chest. Her hair still hung loose, however, and I knew it was Estelle by the way it danced in the wind. I quickly made my way out to her.

XOXOX

"There you are," I said as I sat on the sand. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I was worried something might have happened, but it turns out you were just enjoying a day at the beach before it turns too cold to do so." I laughed feebly, but when I heard her sniffle I knew humor wasn't going to work this time.

I placed a hand over hers and tried to hold it as it held her legs to her chest. "You can talk to me, Estelle. You can tell me anything you wish. You can yell at me. You can beat me if you're angry. I'll be anything you need me to be. You do know that, right?"

She sniffled again and turned her heard away from me as she laid her cheek on her knees. I could feel her begin to shake as she wept. I moved in closer and tried to wrap her in my arms, but she promptly pulled away and stood with her back to me. I swallowed my own hurt and stood as well.

"Please, Estelle, let me help you."

"Stop," she said weakly. "Please, just stop."

"I won't," I said with a shake of my head. "I won't stop. I love you, and I won't leave you alone to deal with this. Please, Estelle, let me be here for you." This time, when I walked up behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders, she didn't pull away from me. Her body still shook with sobs and her arms were folded across her chest, but she allowed me to gently turn her around. I held her against my chest as she cried. I knew there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say that would take her pain away. So I just held her.

After several minutes of crying she pulled back slightly and rubbed her hands across her eyes. They were red and swollen with tears, and the look they gave me was crushing. I gently cupped her face and kissed her forehead, but it didn't make her smile as it usually did. A few tears leaked out and I brushed them away.

"Edmund, I…I have to tell you something," she whispered. "But when I do, you…you probably won't want to see me again."

"That's ridiculous. I love you, Estelle, nothing…"

"My name's not Estelle."

Silence. My confession was met with silence. A silence so loud it caused deafness. I could see the betrayal taking hold in his eyes. I could feel the distance between us growing. He was slowly stepping away from me. His steps became bigger and then he was running. The beach stretched for miles between us and still he ran. All the while the hum of the silent air grew louder and until it was no longer a soft hum but a clanging bell and I had to close my eyes against its harshness.

"I don't understand," Edmund said.

I opened my eyes. The ringing was gone, but Edmund was not. He had not run; he stood before me.

"What do you mean, your name's not Estelle?" he asked. He sounded confused, not betrayed.

"Estelle was my mother's name, not mine," I answered. "My father's name was Lynn. My siblings are Soffialynn, Ellalynn, Emmalynn, and Heulyn. My name is Aaralynn."

There was more silence, true silence. There were no ringing bells, and no running. Edmund's hands stayed where they were on my arms, but still I could not breathe as I waited for his response.

"Why would you give your mother's name as your own?" he asked the same question his brother had asked. And my response was the same.

"I don't know. I was scared. My mother was strong. I thought I could be strong too if I used her name. I'm sorry. I didn't intend to hurt you. I gave the name before I knew who you were and then I was too scared to take it back. And I…I understand if you…w—want me to leave…" I babbled as my tears returned.

Again there was silence, apart from my own crying. Edmund said nothing. I knew; I just knew my fears were being realized. The past four months with Edmund were amazing, but they were coming to an end now. Every moment I'd spent with him only seemed to get better, but now there would be no more moments. I marveled at the feel of his lips every time we kissed, but there would be no more kisses after this.

My tears were back in full force and I could not stop them, neither did I want Edmund to witness them. I stepped back and made to quickly walk around him. If he could not run from me, I would run from him. Once I was around him though, I found I could go no further; he still held me by the hand, and he refused to let go. I tried to pull my hand from his, but his grip would not loosen.

"Why would I want you to leave?" I was amazed by his question, so amazed I stopped crying.

"I lied to you Edmund. For months I've lied to you. I've made you believe I'm someone I'm not. Why would you want me to stay?"

"You have not lied to me."

"My name's not Estelle…"

"You gave a false name, yes I know. I understand. You were scared and you gave a false name. A name does not make you who you are. I do not love you because of what your name is. 'A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.'"

"What?"

"I've read that somewhere before, I think, a Narnian poet must have wrote it long ago. You are still the same person I fell in love with, regardless of what your name happens to be. I love you, Aaralynn."

Suddenly I began to cry again. Three words I heard him say to me a hundred times already, suddenly became sweeter than they ever were before. I never thought I'd love the way he said those three words any more than how I loved them at that moment.

"Say it again please," I barely whispered.

"Say what? A rose by…"

"No. The other thing." I didn't need to elaborate. He smiled and stepped in closer.

"I love you, Aaralynn." He kissed my cheek and repeated those same words again. And again. With each time he repeated them he came closer to me and closer to my lips. And I never felt more loved by him, or more love for him.

I sat wearily on Peter's couch. I'd finally been allowed admittance into his study. Estelle…Aaralynn had gone to search for Lucy and Susan; she felt much braver in telling them the truth now that she had told me. I leaned forward and braced my arms on my knees while resting my head in my hands. While she felt brave, I felt drained. Peter sat next to me with his bottle and two cups.

"So you've spoken with Estelle at last." It was not a question.

"You mean 'Aaralynn.'" I sighed. "Yes, I found her down on the beach." Peter said nothing, but he handed me a glass half full with ale. I stared at the amber liquid for a moment before downing it at once. From the corner of my eye I saw that Peter was nursing his a bit more.

"Why didn't you tell me, Pete?"

"Because you know as well as I that she needed to tell you."

"She was so frightened. She was shaking with fear. She thought I was going to leave her."

There was a moment of pause before Peter said anything. "Wait, are you more upset because she gave you a false name, or because she was scared to tell you the truth?"

I gave him a look which said the answer should be obvious.

"Your feelings for her must be stronger than I thought then. I had reasoned you would be more upset with the deception."

"I love her, Peter. It doesn't matter what her name is; it doesn't change who she is. I love her."

"So I am beginning to see."

"It stings; I won't lie. It stings to know that for the last seven months she's been living under a false name. And I was upset when she first told me, but when I saw what my pain was doing to her, I decided I cared more about her pain than mine. I decided it didn't matter, because I love her."

Suddenly I laughed and leaned back into the couch as I realized just how much I loved her. Peter seemed to realize it too.

"I have a feeling this drink is no longer a drink of comfort but one of celebration?"

I nodded my head. "I love her, Pete. I love her, and I wish to marry her. Will you give us your blessing?"

"Ed," Peter clapped a hand on my back as he filled my cup. "You have always had my blessing to be happy, and if Aaralynn makes you such, how can I say no? But first, tell me this. Was she completely honest with you?"

"She told me everything, Peter. And it doesn't matter."

"Then my blessing you shall have." Peter raised his cup and we drank together. "Now, how are you going to tell our sisters?"

"Our sisters? How am I going to ask Aaralynn?"