Keeping Holding On

Disclaimer: I don't own the show.

Like to thanks Apinapoikaerkki for helping to write the chapter.

Fear. We face it every day of our lives. Sometimes, fear can be a friend who fights y your side, making your reflexes quicker, senses sharper. Other times, fear is a liar, confusing you until you can't believe your own eyes. But the very worst fear; that's the fear that destroys all hope. And I'm afraid that my worse fear has just come true.

Callie rushed around the corner in a hurry, carrying little Sofia in her arms. On her way down the corridor she received an amused stare from a young nurse checking the shelves on the side of the corridor – a stare that was cut short by her murderous glare. She knew exactly how ridiculous she looked like, wearing a red sweater and gray sweatpants. But it wasn't her fault. She had been lying on her bed, wearing her most sexy lingerie, waiting for her wife to come home when she had received a 911-page from Chief Hunt, asking her to come to the hospital immediately. She hadn't exactly had the time to plan an outfit.

"Callie!"

She looked over her shoulder to see Teddy jogging towards her. She wore a beige coat on top of her shirt. Apparently she had been paged from home, too. "What's going on", she asked as she finally caught Callie up.

"No idea. Hunt paged you too?"

"He called me." Teddy looked at Sofia. "You brought her to work?"

"I had no choice. I was waiting for Arizona when I got the page. Mark wasn't home and he won't answer his phone. I couldn't leave her alone."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I was hauling the contents of my locker home when Owen called me. He fired me."

"What?"

"Long story. I got an offer from MEDCOM but didn't want to abandon Owen and the hospital, so he fired me. But it's okay."

Callie looked at her with round eyes. "Wow. Congratulations, I guess? But… wow!"

"I know. I was fairly surprised to get the call. I mean, first he fires me and the next moment he's asking me to come back?"

"Did he tell you anything?"

"No, but it must be something big. He sounded dreary."

"Well that can't be good", Callie muttered as the women reached the conference room to which Owen had asked them to come. As they entered the room, Callie noticed that a bunch of people were already sitting around the conference room table. Bailey was sitting near the door, looking confused. Next to her sat Richard, dressed in a suit. On the other side of the table sat Jackson and April, both dressed in formal wear. Alex was sitting next to Jackson, his expression rather grumpy. At the head of the table, Owen was sitting quietly, his blue eyes staring at the surface of the table. It was clear that something serious was going on.

"Altman, Torres, please sit down", Owen said without lifting his head. Callie and Teddy exchanged a worried look and walked to the table. On her way Callie stopped beside Bailey and whispered a quiet "What's going on?" Bailey shrugged her shoulders and gave her a silent reply: "He just asked us to sit down. Hasn't spoken a word since."

Callie sat down next to Teddy, an unpleasant feeling of worry moving in his stomach. She noticed that Mark and Arizona were nowhere to be seen, and neither were Grey, Yang, little-Grey and Shepherd. In short, all the Boise-travelers were absent. Where were they?

Owen took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He looked like an animated corpse, as if all life had been drained of him. He started talking, still staring at the surface of the table: "I have summoned you all here tonight, because something has happened, something that you need to know. I will hold a briefing tomorrow morning for the rest of the hospital, but I thought that you have the right to know beforehand."

Callie could see his lips twitch and jaw jerk, as if he was struggling with his words. She waited for him to continue, the uncomfortable feeling still billowing in her gut. Finally he continued, and his words were dismal and bleak, like he had been a robot speaking: "Earlier today, the plane from Seattle to Boise carrying six of our doctors disappeared from the radar. The air traffic control was unable to reach the plane, and by the time this information got to me, they had decided to begin the search. According to them, the plane has most likely gone down somewhere over the Wallowa National Forest. So far there has been no trace of the plane or the people on board."

The room was silent. The silence was bottomless, so deep and dense that it was almost touchable. Time itself had stopped. Everyone was staring at Owen, his words echoing in their minds. The world was on ice, everyone was still, everyone was trying to process his words but the power of sheer disbelief was keeping them from understanding, the power of denial taking over their minds. Callie also felt it. Her mind was trying to understand the situation, but there was a wall in her consciousness, preventing her from dealing with the information. Stop, the voice in her head warned her. You don't want to believe this. You don't want to accept this.

A couple seats away, Bailey was breathing heavily. She was staring at Owen like he had spoken in a foreign language. "No…", she whispered. "No, it's not true. It's not true. It can't be."

Her words broke the spell and people, Callie among them, started to bombard Owen with questions. They were shouting, talking over each other, each wanting answers, an explanation to this. Where were they? What had happened? Were they okay? What were the authorities doing for them? Was someone hurt? Was someone dead? When would they get information?

"I DON'T KNOW!" Owen bawled, finally looking up. His blue eyes were damp and a fiery white flame of anger, worry and fear burned in his eyes. "I don't know anything else! I don't know if anyone's hurt. I don't know if anyone's… As far as I know they could all be… I don't know." He buried his face to his hands.

"This can't be happening", Bailey said, her face warped with desperation. "Tell me it's not true. Tell me it's not… Not again…" She let out a horrible sound of despair and collapsed against Richard's side. He placed his arm around her and comforted her. On the other side of the table, April, Jackson and Alex were looking at each other, in shock. April's eyes were damp.

"Callie?" Teddy's voice echoed from somewhere far away. Callie turned her head and looked at her. Sofia was sitting in her lap, playing with the collar of her sweater. Callie placed her hand on her head and gave her a kiss. "Don't worry, Mommy's okay. Mommy's coming home. Yes. She's fine." She tried to hold back her tears, but when Teddy placed her hand on her shoulder and gave a little squeeze, her defenses came crumbling down. "Where is Arizona?" she asked. "Where is my wife? Where is she?"

As everyone comforted each other and tried to create a rational option of their friends being alive and unharmed, Owen stood up and walked to the window. He stared at the dark night sky, silently praying to every force he knew – to God, to the universe, to destiny and fate – that his friends were okay. That she was okay.

"Please", he whispered to the heavens, "let Cristina be okay."

At the forest, Meredith was screaming. She was screaming because she was frustrated. She was screaming because she was in pain. She was screaming because she had woken up alone, surrounded by nothing but fire, smoke, and bent metal and debris. She was screaming because her sister was dead, crushed to death by the debris. She was screaming because she had lost Lexie, Derek and Arizona were both in pain, and Mark and Cristina were both unconscious, possibly dying as well. She just wanted to scream. She was in so much pain that she just wanted to scream until her lungs and throat would be torn apart.

"How long is she going to do that?" Arizona asked, her face twisted with pain.

"I don't know", Derek replied, looking at his wife with a worried look. He couldn't help her and he couldn't stand watching her suffer, so he turned his head to Mark and Cristina, who were lying beside him next to the dying fire. Mark was ghastly pale and cold. There was a huge dark spot in his chest. It looked malevolent, but no one had any idea what it was. Next to him was Cristina, equally pale. She had a dislocated shoulder and bruises, but otherwise she looked OK. She appeared to be merely sleeping, though Derek knew that it was something much, much worse. What he didn't know was that her mind was full of brightness.

Cristina.

Five more minutes, Owen…

Cristina.

Go away.

Cristina, come to us.

Why?

Because we're waiting for you. Come to us. It's your time to come to us…