Sorry for the last few chapters ending in a cliff hanger. This one does not...however...you may not like it all that much still.

The Water is Wide

Chapter 24

A Confession

I awoke slowly, wearily. A steady brush of air touched my face. There were quiet murmurs around me, but my head was filled with a booming laugh and a golden beard. Three words danced around in my mind, coming ever closer. Though they were indistinguishable, I knew they were not words I wanted to hear. And yet they continued to dance; closer and closer they came, until they became clear at last.

"Aaralynn! My wife!"

I shot up suddenly as my eyes flew open. The quiet murmurs that were around me ceased; the booming laughter was gone. A dream? Oh please let it all have been a dream. I looked around me. I was not in my rooms, but in a small parlor near the throne room lying on a couch. Salinus and Balnair were with me. Lucy was there as well, and when I searched her face I saw a look I had not seen before. Pain. There was a deep pain carved in her eyes along with a good portion of confusion and just a hint of anger.

I had not been dreaming.

"Edmund," I whispered. "I need to find Edmund."

"You need to rest," Salinus said as he tried to gently push me back down on the couch.

"No. No I need to find Edmund." I pushed Salinus' hand away and made an effort to stand. "Lucy, where is Edmund?"

Lucy did not reply.

"As court physician, I must insist…"

"Let her go," Lucy interrupted Salinus in a cold tone I had never heard from her before. "My brother is in his study. Come. I will take you to him."

Lucy said nothing more before walking out, and she said nothing on our way. She moved swiftly and with a purpose. I could not process that at the moment, however. I was too concerned about Edmund. What had he heard? What had he believed? If Lucy's anger was any indication, he had heard and believed it all. How could I have let this happen? Why didn't I just tell him everything when I had the chance?

In hardly any time at all, we arrived at Edmund's study. Edmund was there, just as Lucy claimed, as was his brother Peter. Edmund could not see me where I stood behind Lucy, but I could see just enough of him. He was deeply troubled. I could not tell if he was troubled more with anger or grief though. He had been pacing but when we entered he stopped abruptly and turned towards us.

"You have a visitor," Lucy said coldly as she stepped aside to reveal my presence. All at once Edmund's gaze landed on me, and I saw anger beyond any I had seen before. I thought Peter's anger had been paralyzing when he called me into his office alone; that anger was nothing compared to what Edmund held now.

There was a brief moment of silence before Peter spoke. "We will leave you alone." He began walking towards Lucy to escort her out, when Edmund stopped him.

"No. What she has to explain, she must explain to us all."

"I…I don't know where to begin," I mumbled almost incoherently.

"You can start by telling us how long you've been married," Edmund replied fiercely.

"No. No, I'm not married," I said, shaking my head. I walked towards him hesitantly at first and then with conviction.

Edmund seemed surprised for a moment, but not relieved. "He called you his wife! Or are you suggesting that he's the liar now?"

I winced at his harsh retort. "I'm not married," I said again. "I'm betrothed."

"Is that supposed to make the betrayal hurt any less? Because it doesn't."

"Betrothed to a man I had not met until this hour!" I was beginning to get upset as well, so I took a deep breath before continuing.

"I told you Papa was ill. In truth, he was beyond ill. Papa was dying, Edmund. Life on the Islands is very different than it is here, especially for a girl. Your sisters are queens who need no husbands to care for them. But, on the Islands, a girl is nothing without a man's name.

"Papa was dying. Liam had no means to care for us, and Heulyn, he was only eight; he could not care for four sisters alone. So the duty fell to me to find a husband who could also secure the well-being of my siblings. Lord Silas was such a man. I do not know how Papa knew him or how he got him to agree, but he did. Lord Silas agreed to take me as his wife and to take my siblings into his household, until my sisters found husbands of their own or until Heulyn could take their responsibility upon himself."

I took a steadying breath to control the tears that wanted to fall.

"We were sailing for Terebinthia for the union," I continued. "Few knew of the arrangement, only myself, Silas, Papa, and Liam. My siblings did not know of the union; they didn't even know of the severity of Papa's failing health. We hadn't the heart to tell them that their father would be dead before the cold air was upon us and that they would have to make life in a foreign land.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I thought…I don't even know Silas. I'd never seen his face or heard him speak until today. I was marrying a stranger out of duty and not of love. And I thought the storm's destruction gave me a way out. Papa was dead, and I believed Liam to be dead too. My siblings did not know. No one else knew. Lord Silas did not know me; he would not come looking for me. He would live the rest of his days believing me to be dead, and he'd be no worse for it. And you…You were so set on finding my siblings. I did not think you would turn them away once you found them. With them here we would start a new life together. I would care for them as I should. I don't know how exactly, but I would have thought of something."

"Why didn't you tell us your arrangement with Lord Silas when you told us your true name? Why not confess it all then? Why did you continue to withhold the truth, when you knew what damage had already been done?" Lucy asked in a much softer tone than she had used before.

I looked towards Lucy to answer her question. "Because I knew I had already hurt you in withholding my name. I didn't want to hurt you any further." I turned back to Edmund. "I love you, Edmund, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain. And I did not think I would ever be faced with meeting Silas."

"I told you a week ago Silas was coming. You had your chance to tell me then." Edmund's voice was low and cold as he spoke.

"I know. I…I'm sorry. I…I thought I could avoid him. I did not think Liam would be here to tell…"

"Do not put this blame on Liam," he said severely. "He is not at fault here, Aaralynn. You are." Edmund turned and walked a few paces away from me. "You had the opportunities to tell me and you neglected to do so. And, by the Lion's mane, I cannot figure out why you chose to keep me uniformed on this matter!"

"I told you why," I pleaded.

"Yes, but a problem still lies between us, Aaralynn." Edmund turned back towards me suddenly. "I hear your words, but I can no longer discern the truth from lies. I asked you if you knew of Lord Silas and you lied to me." He began walking towards me slowly. "You did not simply conceal the truth, you lied. Do you remember your exact words when I asked? I do; do you? Do you, Aaralynn?"

I bit my lip and nodded nervously.

"You said, 'I am but the daughter of a poor fisher. Why would I know of a Terebinthian Lord?' Why would you know of a Terebinthian Lord, unless you were set to marry him? You have lied to me before, Aaralynn. How do I know you have not done so again or will do so again if the occasion should arise?"

"I swear to you, Edmund, I have not lied again. All I have told you today is truth. Please, you must believe me." I grabbed his hand and kissed it. "I love you, and I never wanted you to find out like this. I love you, Edmund." I kissed his hand again.

There was a brief pause as though he was considering my words. "You swear it? You swear what you speak is true?"

"Yes. Yes, I swear it, Edmund."

Edmund stepped in closer to me. "Therein lays another problem. Your oath means very little to me."

"Edmund!" Lucy gasped in horror.

"No, Sister. It is true. Your oath means little to me Aaralynn, because I cannot trust it. A relationship can only stand if it is built on trust. And ours was built on lies and concealment from the beginning. And I'll have no more of it. I'll have no more of you." Edmund pulled his hand roughly from mine and a sudden coldness swept over me.

"I told you once that I loved you," he continued. "That is not so. I do not love you… I cannot love you. How can you love what you don't know?" He walked by me and the wind from his swift retreat left me shivering.

"Edmund! Edmund! You don't mean that! Edmund!" Lucy called after her brother, but he did not stop his departure. "Peter?"

"I'll talk to him," Peter replied wearily.

Lucy came quickly to my side as her oldest brother left the room. "Aaralynn? He doesn't mean it, Aaralynn. He doesn't. He loves you; I know he does. He doesn't mean what he said. He can't. Aaralynn? Aaralynn?"

I knew Lucy was talking, but I could no longer hear her words. I felt the air escaping me and not returning. I couldn't breathe. My world was crashing around me and everything was turning to black despair. Edmund was gone. He had denounced his love of me and left. He was gone. And it was all my doing.

A couple of chapters ago, one of my reviewers commented on the fact that Edmund wasn't as upset as they thought he'd be in finding out that Estelle's name wasn't Estelle but Aaralynn. Well...is Edmund angry enough for you now? (Not that that comment had any influence on this chapter. This was coming all along, you just didn't know it until now.)

Have no fear though, the story is not over yet. There is still more to come, after all, Aaralynn must be reunited with her siblings and Aslan has yet to make His appearance.