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The next morning, Jim, Kevin, and Tom somehow managed to navigate around the bodies inhabiting their living room, sneaking out without anyone waking up, to meet with Archer and Attorney General Marcus Robbins. It wasn't that it was early, but everyone had been up late the night before – or early that morning – so even though it was after ten o'clock, they were all still asleep.

Chris, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, and Scotty had left for their own residences after dinner, but April, Pavel, McCoy, Cory, and Kevin had spent the night, as well as Tom, who would be staying with Jim while he was in town. Joanna was there as well, as McCoy had picked her up from Ensign Conway after dinner, not wanting to make her stay at a friend's house again. He really felt like he had been neglecting his daughter lately, no matter how much she understood why it was necessary to spend so much time away from her father and surrogate family.

All three of them were relieved to see that the press was indeed gone from the area outside of Jim's residence building. The Admirals had relegated them to the quad outside of Cochrane Hall, and from the Security officers Jim could see posted around as he led the other two through the Academy to the out of the way Engineering building where they would meet with the officials, it was obvious that the Admirals were serious about arresting any press that didn't stick to the assigned location.

Normally, this meeting would take place in Cochrane Hall itself, being the administrative building that oversaw most Starfleet-related official business; but with the area around the building so overrun by press, Jon had decided to move this particular meeting somewhere out of view, so that Jim and the others wouldn't have to deal with the hounds.

Jim was grateful; he was already dealing with far more attention from people on campus, just walking down the worn paths this morning. He noticed a significant increase in interest coming his way, and several Cadets kept pointing at him and talking to each other in hushed whispers, but he just shrugged it off and chose to ignore it for now. He kept his attention focused ahead, and led Tom and Kevin into the building, to the 'lift, and down the hall to the meeting room Jon had told him they would be at.

Marcus Robbins was a middle aged man with graying hair, slightly shorter than Jim, with what appeared to be a permanent air of seriousness hovering around him. Jim remembered him from a few years ago, when he had gone to Jon for help getting Bones custody of Joanna. The Attorney General had been happy to assist then, anything for his friend – he and Jon apparently had a history. Given the magnitude and profile of the Kodos trial, it would only make sense for the high ranking man to be the one leading the prosecution.

Robbins greeted Jim warmly, remembering how the young man had been so set on helping his friend regain access to his daughter. It had been a very touching gesture for him to witness, and he had been happy to help back then. He stowed his own private shock and surprise at realizing that one of the most famous Captains in the universe was also apparently one of the few witnesses who could identify Kodos' face. There was no room for personal feelings or emotions in the practice of law. At least, not in this case; it didn't matter what Jim's reputation was in Starfleet and the Federation, all that mattered was that he could identify a murderer.

Jon gestured for everyone to sit. "We've been able to contact three of the other six witnesses," he informed them as they settled into position, Jon and Robbins on one side of the table, Jim, Tom, and Kevin on the other. "They'll be arriving in the next couple days, and the trial's set to begin next week."

Robbins nodded briskly, setting a PADD down on the table. "We're attempting to speed the process along, due to the high profile of this case. We're not trying to cut corners, but we don't want to drag this out. I understand that the Enterprise is also nearly ready to ship out again, and we don't want to hold you back from your mission, Captain Kirk." Jim nodded slightly, but didn't respond, and Robbins sighed. "I've got a team working with me on the prep, but I wanted this meeting to be more informal. From a legal standpoint, we need to go over your testimony before the trial, to make sure there are no surprises. Do you mind if I record this? I guarantee no one outside my team will hear it; I just want to make sure there's a record, and I might want to reference some of it later when I prepare my arguments."

Jim glanced over at Tom and Kevin, and when they nodded, he turned back to the Attorney General. "That's fine."

Robbins smiled slightly. "Thank you." He pulled out a small device, roughly one quarter the size of a PADD. "This is a closed circuit recorder. Most standard devices are linked to the stellnet, and could be hackable. This one is not connected at all, so the only way someone could access the recording would be if they physically stole it from me."

Jim nodded again, looking thankful.

Marcus set the recorder down and pressed a button. "Like I said, I want this meeting to be relatively informal. You don't have to talk about anything you're really not comfortable with; however, at the same time, we need to know your stories to adequately prepare. I'm not anticipating much opposition, but even someone like Kodos is legally entitled to have a defense. No matter his lawyer's personal feelings on the matter, he or she will be obligated to provide the former Governor the best council possible. That will include whatever skeletons or dirt can be found to discredit you."

Jim clenched his jaw grimly. "I understand. Let's just get this over with."

XXX

They spent most of the rest of the day talking. Jon sat back and let Robbins take charge; this was his arena, so to speak. He had lunch brought in so that they could continue uninterrupted, since this meeting would likely take a while.

On the other side, Jim did most of the talking. He had the most understanding of events, and the largest overall picture of what had transpired.

Neither Robbins nor Archer seemed inclined to interrupt as Jim gave them an overview of the group of children he had looked after; how they had hidden themselves in a cave and stolen from whatever source they could find to keep themselves fed and in relatively decent health. They listened to him talk about the months of uncertainty and fear, the guards that they had to fight, the pain of losing friends and family.

But Jon still knew that something was being left out. "How did you escape the massacre, Jim?" he asked curiously when there was a lull in the younger man's story.

Jim looked away, distinctly uncomfortable. It wasn't until Tom pressed a hand lightly against his shoulder that he turned back to the group. "Jim, now's not the time to hold back." Jim grimaced, and Tom gave him what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

Jim sighed and slumped down in his seat. One hand clenched tightly in his lap as the other drummed out a distracted pattern on the table. "I met Kodos for the first time pretty soon after I arrived," he admitted softly. "He had heard about me. I guess they didn't get a lot of newcomers to the colony, and then I had been placed years ahead of my age level in school, so he was curious. He offered me the chance to learn about government and politics, and I was intrigued, so I took him up on it." He let out a pained snort. "I learned enough to know I never want to be a politician."

Jon smiled slightly, though his eyes were filled with sorrow for the pain his younger friend was going through, just remembering these events. He could see how much it hurt Jim to talk about it.

Jim swallowed harshly. "It was about a year and a half later that things started to get… bad." He glanced at Tom, and on the scientist's nod, he let out a deep breath and continued, "Tom and I were running an… experiment, I guess you could call it. Studying the local plants while working on a thesis of our own. That's when we found the fungus."

Jon blinked, surprised, and Robbins sat back in his seat, startled. "You found it?"

Jim grimaced and shrugged, looking down at the table. "We knew we had to tell someone, so I brought it to Kodos. I thought he would fix it."

There was more to it than that, Jon knew, but he didn't have the heart to demand more explanations. He was still reeling from the knowledge that Jim hadn't just been a passive observer in the massacre. Sure, he had known before now that Jim had had something to do with saving a lot of innocent kids, and maybe something to do with the information that had gotten into Starfleet's hands before someone had destroyed all the servers in the colony and corrupted any useful information they may have otherwise retrieved. But he hadn't realized just how far it had gone. Jim hadn't just seen Kodos' face because he had been captured and held captive – Jon deliberately refused to let his mind wander to what that capture had meant for the young teenager; he had read the medical files for the kid JT, and it made him want to weep when he correlated that injured child with the vibrant young man he counted himself lucky to know.

No, it went far beyond being held captive; from the sound of it, Jim had trusted Kodos, had looked up to him and admired him. They had had some sort of personal relationship before everything had gone to hell. Even through the pain, Jon could hear the loss and sorrow when Jim spoke of learning from the Governor.

Jon forced himself out of his morose thoughts, and refocused on what Jim was saying.

"I told him," the Captain growled lowly, hand clenching even tighter as his fingernails threatened to break the skin. "Six weeks. He had six weeks to fix things, and he did nothing."

Robbins sat up straighter. "You mean he was aware of the problem before it happened?"

Jim nodded grimly, his eyes flashing with anger. "I told him what we had found six weeks before everything went to shit. Plants died, the food stores were compromised. He could have done something. He didn't even attempt to contact Starfleet for help."

There was a beat of silence while Jim appeared to make a solid effort to get himself under control.

"What happened next?" Robbins asked, hoping his voice sounded relatively neutral.

Jim shook his head slightly and sat back, seeming to lose some of his anger – or maybe just deliberately hiding it for the moment. "I got tired of waiting, so one day I snuck into the Governor's Palace. I wanted to know what was going on. I hacked into Kodos' files. That's when I found the lists."

There was another moment of silence. "The lists?" Robbins asked with dread.

Jim grit his teeth. "Two of them. There was a lot of other information there too, but I didn't have time to waste going over all of it in detail. I saw what his next plans were, and I knew I had to move quickly." His eyes glazed over slightly, remembering the past, the horror and fear, running faster and faster, knowing he would be too late but still running in the hopes that he was wrong. "My aunt and uncle were already dead, but I found my cousins hiding in a closet. I didn't want to wait around, so I grabbed a few things – blankets, clothes, some food that the guards hadn't already taken – and took them to a cave that Tom and I had discovered a while back."

He was almost proud of how level he kept his voice, talking about the deaths of the two closest things to parents he had ever known. Until Chris, at least, but he was still slightly uncomfortable thinking of the older man as a father most of the time, so he usually didn't.

"I made sure they'd stay there, and I went back. I wanted to see if I could find any of my friends."

Tom leaned forward slightly. "I was hiding in the fields when Jim found me. We searched for a while, and found a few more, before the smoke started to get bad."

"Smoke?" Jon asked, confused.

Jim nodded, eyes pained. "They were burning houses, the fields, anything that would go up, really. We had to retreat or be found, so I took them all back to the cave. Then Tom and I went into the city." He bit his lip and looked down. "I needed to know what was going on, and Tom wouldn't let me go alone. We snuck in through a side entrance. It was small, so not very well guarded. We heard the proclamation, and that's when people started to panic. The guards were firing into the crowd, people running and screaming…" He sighed gustily. "We tried to get some kids out. As many as we could before we had to leave or be killed." He glanced over at the youngest of the group and attempted a smile. "Kevin was the last one I grabbed before we left."

Kevin returned the smile gratefully. He knew that he was a witness who could identify Kodos' face, but when it came to everything that actually happened on that planet, he really didn't have anything to add. He had only been five when everything had gone to hell, six by the time Starfleet showed up. He hadn't been a leader in anything, he had just been a kid lucky enough to be near the exit when Jim and Tom had been running out.

That wasn't entirely fair, he knew, but it was still the truth. He had nothing to add to this trial. But he would stick with his friends through it just the same; he might not be able to add any useful information, but he could offer whatever support he was able.

Jim lapsed into silence for a moment, hesitating as he tried to find words to describe the months of terror. He had no idea what he could say to accurately portray the dread, the fear of not making it to see the next morning, not knowing where the next threat might come from. Finally, he sighed. "Things were… difficult. We had no way of knowing what was really going on, we didn't know if our hideout would be found, we didn't know if Starfleet would realize there was anything wrong or if anyone would be coming to help." He coughed lightly, clearing his throat. "Before it all happened, I had gotten to know Hoshi Sato." He smiled minutely, remembering the fierce woman he had come to count as a good friend, despite the large age difference, and then sobered as he recalled her death. "Before she was killed, she gave me a communicator. Told me to get help. I should have used it immediately, but I waited a day and decided to go find out what Kodos was up to instead."

"What happened wasn't your fault," Tom rolled his eyes. "Stop blaming yourself for everything."

Jim glared at him but there was no real heat to it. "I know," he shot back. "But I still shouldn't have waited. Anyway," he turned back to Robbins and Jon, "it didn't work. After we settled into the cave, I tried to send a message out. Nothing would go through. I spent a lot of time over the next five months trying to figure out what was wrong. I must have rebuilt it three times. But nothing ever worked." He bit his lip and looked down. "It took me five months to realize that the problem wasn't with the communicator, it was the planet. Kodos had put up a jamming signal to stop anyone from sending for help."

Robbins nearly bolted out of his seat, before he forced himself to calm down. "That man actively stopped Starfleet from knowing what was happening."

Jim nodded, his jaw set in a firm line. "I'm not saying you would have gotten the message earlier, but he definitely stopped anyone from trying."

Jon shifted slightly. "But we did get a distress signal," he reminded Jim. "It was a repeating call, and we couldn't respond. The Seymour was the closest ship, but it still took a couple weeks to arrive."

Jim nodded again, his expression filled with sorrow; he still couldn't make himself actually look at the older men, his gaze remaining fixed on the table. On his left, Tom grasped his arm tightly, the motion hidden from view by the two sitting opposite them.

"We had to take the signal down before we could call for help." Jim swallowed harshly. "So I took it down."

Jon drew in a shuddering breath, forcing himself to remain calm. This story wasn't over yet, and he needed to stay calm.

Once he had collected himself slightly, Jim continued, "Tom wouldn't let me go alone, so we went to the Palace together. I left the communicator with my cousin Cory, told him how to send out a signal and to give us a couple hours then set it to go out every five minutes. By that time, the communicator would only send outgoing messages, so there was no way for anyone to respond to the call. Tom stayed outside the Palace, while I went in through an air vent. I made it to Kodos' personal study, took the signal down, and then sent out all of his files to download to the nearest Starfleet vessel."

Jon smiled grimly. They had suspected that the mysterious JT had been the one to send them the files, but it was nice to have confirmation. "Smart," he complemented. "Must have taken some skill."

Jim sighed softly as his shoulders slumped. "Not too much. For me, at least. I know my way around a computer. I just had to make sure it would only download to a server that had Starfleet coding." He grimaced. "Unfortunately, it took some time to do it." He bit his lip. "They stunned me before I could get out. I woke up in a cell."

Another silence descended, which was only broken when Tom coughed, drawing attention to him. "They found me too. Shot me when I tried to run." He touched the eye patch that covered nearly half his face with a resigned grimace. "It was probably sheer luck that it missed anything vital. Got a nasty infection though, by the time we were rescued."

Robbins winced sympathetically. He had read through Doctor Leighton's medical records and knew just how serious that injury had been. "What happened next?"

Jim faltered slightly, not wanting to discuss what Kodos had done to him. "He wanted information. About the other rebel groups out there, where the rest of our group was. He almost let out a smile. "We had made things pretty disruptive for him and the security guards. Stealing from food stores, attacking a few that were trying to bring in some of the other escapees."

"Escapees?" Robbins asked for clarification.

Jim nodded. "We weren't the only ones who escaped when we were supposed to die. There were other groups out there, hiding. We came across a few from time to time, sometimes when they were being dragged in by guards. We helped a few out, when we could." He stopped and collected himself, taking a deep breath. "I was told it was a couple weeks between when we went in, and when Starfleet showed up. I kind of lost track of time. I know that at some point they brought in Kevin and Lisa, my youngest cousin." He grimaced and tried not to let any tears escape as he recalled her last moments in vivid detail.

Kevin pressed into his side, his own breathing growing ragged as he also remembered being caught. He remembered seeing Jim looking so helpless, not completely understanding what was going on but wanting him to make it all better, the way he always had. "We were scared," he admitted quietly, and they all turned to look at him. "Lisa and I, we wanted to help so badly. JT and Tom didn't come back, and no one knew what was going on. Cory just kept sending out that distress signal, April was trying to lead but she was still so scared. No one knew where they were, and we wanted to be useful. We should never have left the cave. We wandered away from the safety of the group, and got caught."

Jim rubbed his back soothingly. "It wasn't your fault," he promised. Looking back at the two older men, he sighed and shook his head. "Lisa was killed. Probably a few days before the Seymour arrived. Like I said, I lost track of time; the days kind of blurred together. I do know that after a while, he lost interest in gathering information. By the end it was more about breaking me. I think he wanted to completely break me down and rebuild, like he could torture me into becoming his perfect soldier." Jim shrugged and looked away. "I was pretty out of it when Starfleet did show up."

Kevin leaned forward, choosing not to address that last piece of information. He had been too young to really understand back then, and he didn't want to think about it now. It was easy to see how horrified Admiral Archer and Attorney General Robbins were by the words, though. "I remember. None of the guards had shown up in a while, but then I started hearing noises coming from down the hall. There were four people in uniform. They didn't look like the uniforms the guards wore, but I didn't know who they were. I had lived in that colony my entire life, I had never seen a Starfleet officer before."

Tom shifted. "I was pretty out of it, too," he admitted. "But I vaguely remember someone crouching next to me. I think I told him to find JT, before I passed out."

Kevin offered the older man a small smile. "We got taken outside first, but a couple of the guys continued down the hall. Tom went to the ship's Medbay immediately, but all I had was a broken arm, so they put me in the med-tent they had set up in a field outside the city."

Jim nodded minutely. "I have a vague memory of giving some guy in a yellow shirt a set of coordinates – the location of the cave where the others were hiding. Filling in the blanks after the fact, I'm pretty sure that was Chris."

Jon nodded. "He was the one who found you. I remember reading his report. Didn't sound too pretty."

Jim rolled his eyes. "I'm sure."

Jon winced, realizing how callous that sounded, but Robbins didn't give him time to get an apology in.

"Thank you for sharing your story with us, Captain Kirk, Doctor Leighton, Ensign Riley. I understand how difficult all of this must be."

Even though he didn't explicitly say it, they knew it was an apology for everything: having to share their story, that the universe either already knew or would likely know soon that they had been there, and that they hadn't been able to actually end this all those years ago. Lying to the universe and pretending that Kodos had been killed. There was so much that Starfleet had done wrong with this situation, going even beyond the aftermath but also by allowing such a psychopath to govern a Federation colony.

Robbins sucked in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "I don't want you to have to share anything close to what you told us today, at the trial. You will need to confirm Kodos' crimes, but you shouldn't have to go into too much detail. However, just in case, it's good for me to know the whole story. Captain Kirk, Doctor Leighton, you witnessed the proclamation and the massacre. We have a recording, as it was included in the files you were able to liberate, but you're the only witnesses we have to the actual event."

Jim offhandedly wondered if calling it an 'event' made it seem less horrendous in the Attorney General's mind.

Robbins picked up the recorder and shut it off. "The trial will be closed," he assured them. "Judge, attorneys, and a panel of Admirals. No onlookers. For witnesses, we've got those who can identify the former Governor – you three, and three others – along with a few Starfleet officials who played key roles in the aftermath."

"How long will the trial last?" Jim asked.

Robbins smiled slightly. "A few days most likely. There's no way to tell definitively, but it shouldn't be too long. I don't believe there will be much in the way of cross examination; but like I said, even Kodos is entitled to a competent defense."

After a beat of silence, Jon stood up, gesturing for them to follow. "I think we're done for the day," he said. "We'll keep you updated on the trial, but you should go try and relax." His tone of voice said clearly that he didn't think they would, but he didn't want to push the issue.

Jim nodded, and led Tom and Kevin outside. It was nearly time for dinner, but a quick discussion had them all agreeing that they'd rather have quiet than food. If they attempted to go to the cafeteria, he had no doubt they would be stared at, or swarmed, and none of them wanted to deal with that. So instead, they headed back to Jim's apartment.

XXX

That was clearly the right call, as they discovered that not only was the apartment full of all their friends, but they had already taken care of the food aspect. Dinner was ready and waiting, laid out on the coffee table.

As everyone descended on the takeout containers, Scotty handed Jim a beer, which he accepted gratefully. "How're things going up there?" the Captain asked curiously. He wished he could be on the Enterprise himself, but with everything going on right now, he just couldn't take the time. He hoped the trial wrapped quickly so he could get back to doing his job.

Scotty grimaced. "She'll be ready to fly on schedule, Jim," he promised. "But I don't think much got done today." He shook his head and sighed. "My communicator's been blowing up with requests for interviews, and I know a lot of my department's the same. Most of 'em turned the comms off after it got to be too much, but I need to be reachable, y'know?"

Jim nodded slightly, apologetic. "I'm sorry, Scotty. I know it's disruptive and inconvenient."

Scotty immediately frowned. "Not your fault, Jim. It's just annoying, but I don't blame you or anything."

Jim frowned, and glanced around at the rest of his command crew, who were all clustered nearby, eating. "Is it that bad for all of you?"

They all shared a significant look, before Uhura nodded ruefully. "I've received several messages from my crew, asking for advice on how to handle it."

Chekov grinned, his amusement clear on his youthful face. "I've gotten a few messages from people in my department telling me that they told the reporters where they could stuff their rumors."

Sulu nodded slightly. "Me, too," he admitted.

Spock took a half step forward. "Your crew stands one hundred percent behind you, Captain. They will not speak to any reporters without your express approval."

Uhura beamed, taking her boyfriend's hand and squeezing tightly. "I know you sometimes have trouble understanding this, Jim, but we believe in you. We care about you. Jim, you made this crew a family. And as family, we protect each other."

Jim actually felt himself blush a little, before he managed to get his emotions under control. He muttered out an embarrassed thank you, before crossing the room to turn on the vidscreen, tuning it to the news station.

McCoy tried to protest, but Jim just turned tired eyes to face the doctor. "I need to know what they're saying," he said simply, returning to his spot on the far wall and digging into his loaded plate with apathy, not really caring about what it was he was eating. "Information is power, and all that crap."

Nobody looked particularly happy, but they didn't argue any further, and the news stayed on, on low volume, as they all settled down and ate dinner.

Most had finished and were just relaxing, when the jingle that preceded a special news update broke through the few smaller conversations that were happening around the room. As if waiting for that cue, everyone fell silent and turned to the screen to hear what the reporters had to say.

Jim listened dispassionately as the woman on the screen spoke, telling her audience about the police report they had uncovered, where Jim had apparently driven a car off a cliff; the timing indicated it had happened shortly before the famous Captain's relocation to Tarsus, and the reporter wondered aloud whether or not proper counseling had been initiated.

The reporter completed the update with questions as to why the twelve-year-old had been trying to end his own life, possible allegations of abuse at the hands of his now deceased stepfather, and whether Winona had been aware of her husband and son's actions while she was off planet.

Jim shook his head slightly, his expression resigned and annoyed.

Uhura bit her lip tentatively as she tore her gaze away from the screen. "Is that true?" she asked cautiously. She knew, after that one ill-fated trip to Riverside several years ago, that there was a strong probability that her friend had suffered abuse in his childhood, but she had never asked, not wanting to upset him and not seeing why it would matter; Jim was her friend. If his stepfather had hurt him, well, the bastard was lucky he was already dead, or she'd have killed him herself, and made it painful. But it didn't change her opinion of the vibrant young man, so she had put the information aside and gone about her life. But it terrified her to think about the idea that someone as intelligent and effervescent as Jim had at one point been so upset and tired that he had been prepared to end his own life.

Jim huffed and rolled his eyes. "I wasn't actually trying to kill myself," he protested, but knew it sounded weak.

Carol gripped his arm tightly, her gaze worried. "But you don't deny driving a car off a cliff."

Jim shrugged and looked away, a muscle in his jaw ticking slightly. "It was my dad's car. Frank decided to ignore that." He glanced back and sighed. "I jumped out before it went over."

A shocked and horror-filled silence met his claim, as they all imagined the scenario. McCoy knew the story already, but it was no less terrifying to imagine how close his best friend had come to death on that dusty road, years before they had the chance to meet him.

The silence was filled by the newscaster's report continuing, as the woman now mentioned speculations that the abuse dealt out by the deceased Frank Miller had crossed the line to sexual, as well as physical.

Most of those in the room weren't able to hide their increased horror, but Jim just snorted indignantly. "OK, now they're just making things up."

Everyone looked relieved at his outright dispute of the claim, but McCoy knew his friend well enough to see a flash of… something, probably fear, in his blue eyes, before he managed to cover it up. Though Jim was saying these reports were false, McCoy couldn't help but wonder.

Jim sighed and leaned back. "I should probably answer this somehow, right?"

Spock inclined his head. "I will contact Starfleet Public Relations for you, Jim. They will likely wish to meet with you to prepare a statement."

Jim nodded in response. "That'd be great, Spock, thanks. Let me know what they say."

It wasn't that late, but no one had gotten much sleep the night before, so after helping Carol clean up the remains of dinner, they all said their goodbyes and filtered out, heading for their own respective homes. After a few minutes, it was just Jim, Carol, McCoy, and Tom left. Tom, after a moment of awkward silence, headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

McCoy waited until the door had closed, before he turned back to Jim with a pointed look. "How much of that was actually true?" he asked, his tone stating quite clearly that he knew the younger man was hiding something.

Jim thought about lying, but couldn't quite force himself to do it. McCoy was his best friend, Carol his girlfriend. Surely they deserved more than false assurances.

Carol disappeared into the kitchen briefly, returning with a few beers, which she handed out, receiving grateful nods in return.

Jim opened his against the coffee table as he took a seat on the couch, downing half the bottle in one sip. "Look, Bones, Frank liked to knock me around, I won't dispute that. He was an ass." He sighed wearily, and slumped back into the cushions, relaxing minutely at the comfort. "Despite what those idiots are reporting, I promise it never got sexual." He grimaced and looked away, not quite willing to meet the concerned gazes he could feel being leveled at him. "Probably because I never let it. There were a few times he made me uncomfortable, just the way he'd look at me. But the car incident happened, and Winona sent me to Tarsus, and he never had a chance to do anything."

The relief was easy to see in Leonard and Carol's expressions, but the doctor managed to keep his voice steady as he spoke. "You know I'm around, if you need anything, Jim. All you have to do is ask." He stood up, draining his beer and setting it down on the coffee table. "And accept that people around you care, you idiot."

Jim let out a weak chuckle and nodded. "Thanks, Bones. I know what I am, and I know I don't always admit when I need help."

He ignored McCoy's cough that sounded suspiciously like "ever," and continued.

"So thanks for forcing your way in. It means a lot, even if I don't always say it."

Leonard forcibly stamped down the blush that threatened to appear, and nodded stoically. "You're my best friend, Jim. I want to be there, and nothing you do or say will force me away. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

He waited for Jim's responding nod, and left.

Jim turned back to his girlfriend as the door closed, and wrapped her in a tight hug. "That goes for you as well," he murmured softly. "I'm incredibly horrible at letting other people in, and you didn't have to keep pushing. I know I don't say it enough, or show it enough, but I want this, us. Like I said, I'm really bad at accepting help, or asking for it. So please know that even if I don't say it, it means a lot to me that you're here, and you're not letting me push you away."

Carol smiled through the tears that gathered in her eyes, as they pulled apart; she kept a grip on his arm, refusing to move too far away. "I'm here, Jim. No matter what. So is the rest of your crew, but I want to make sure you know that we're steady. Whatever happened back then, I don't care. I mean, I do," shook her head slightly, "but it doesn't change how I see you. I love you, Jim, and I will always love you, no matter what you tell me about your past."

Jim smiled softly, the expression more relaxed and real than anything he had showed all day. "I love you, too," he replied, leaning down to give her a kiss.

Carol busied herself for a few moments, pulling out the sheets and pillows that Tom would use on the couch, while Jim cleaned up the last few pieces of trash from dinner. Those acts done, they headed into the bedroom. It had been a long day.

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