"Look at you, Bettykins!" Veronica enthused, "And those legs! I am already a little more gay than the day I met you."
Betty smiles and shakes her head at her newest friend. She couldn't believe she was really standing there in a River Vixen's uniform, especially after last year's humiliating experience. She's still not quite sure why Veronica kissed her if not for the mere shock value of it but it doesn't matter, cheerleading will look good on her transcripts and she'd have kissed the great red devil herself if she thought it'd get her out of Riverdale for college.
"So, Betty dear, do you want to talk about what Cheryl said about your sister?" Veronica asks her, leading her by the hand out of the locker room.
"I'm not sure what there is to talk about. I was gone for the summer and when I came home, Polly was gone, Jason Blossom is missing, and no one is talking. My parents won't say a word, Polly's phone is disconnected, I can't find anything to give me an idea of where she, or they, went."
"Do you think she might have left with one half of the heirs to the throne of the Maple Syrup Mafia?"
"Maple Syrup Mafia?" Betty laughs out. "What?"
"Betty Boo, my girl, maple syrup is just not interesting enough for Cheryl to be that elitist while also probably trying to contain all of her evil with a layer of red lipstick. It's a good cover though if you think about it, who expects the uncomfortably red Blossom family to be deeper than the trees they're tapping?"
"Have you been conspiracy theorizing with Jughead?" Betty questions, "Because I have to say, this sounds very Jugheadian."
"No, no. Jughead wants conspiracies to justify his paranoia of his fellow man so he doesn't have to admit he's mostly an introverted socially awkward penguin-"
"Owl," Betty interrupts, "he'd be an owl if we're going to pick a bird. Nocturnal, observant, solitary."
"Huh, true. Either way, someone that observant usually knows things the rest of us overlook. Have you talked to him about any of this? Does Archie know anything helpful?"
"Jughead, yes. He and I are trying to figure it out, we're going to be nosing around while my mom is out of town this weekend. Archie? Not so much. I know he'd help but he's got football and music and it's really not his thing. If he knew anything he would have already told me."
Veronica looks contemplative as they exit the school and asks, "What do you think happened?"
"I'm not sure. I do know if Polly were truly missing, my parents would have every cop in the state looking for her, it'd be all over the Register, there would be no resting if my mom didn't have some idea of where she is. Which is why she's suspect number one," Betty tells her as they exit the school.
"And Jason Blossom?"
"As far as I know they were dating. There was a couple of bad fights, a breakup or two, but by the time I left for my internship, Polly told me they were happy and in love. I want to believe they're together but I just don't know."
"You'll figure it out, I just know it," Veronica asserts as she spots Smithers in the parking lot, waiting by the car for her. "Let me give you a ride home, it's almost dark."
Betty says thank you as Smithers takes her gym bag from her and opens the car door so she can climb in. Once they're settled in and on the road, Betty suddenly hears, "So, home or Pop's? There's no need to sit through two uncomfortable family dinners when we can comfortably eat burgers instead."
She thinks about it for a few seconds, knowing her mother won't be happy about that, or the cheerleading, and putting it off suddenly sounds much better than dealing with it. "Pop's. Definitely Pop's."
"That's my girl. Smithers! Change of direction," Veronica calls out and sits back in her seat with a satisfied smile. "Should we ask Kevin to join?"
"Sure, I don't see why not."
As Veronica texts Kevin, they're already close to pulling into the parking lot of Pop's. Before Betty can open her door, it's been pulled open and she's surprised by Archie's smiling face.
"Hey! I didn't know you were going to be here."
"Neither did we until we got in the car. Are you going to join us, Archiekins?" Veronica asks him, climbing out of the car after Betty.
"Cool, let's eat. You guys made the Vixens? That's great! Now I can have my own personal cheering section during the games."
"Well I do intend to be an equal opportunity cheerleader but I think I can save an extra little shake or two just for you, Archiekins," Veronica breathes out as she walks by him and into Pop's.
"What's up, Jughead?" Betty asks noticing he hasn't said a word yet. Which is not unusual for him but it's also not like him to not take a shot at anything stereotypically school spirit related.
"Uh, nothing. How are you doing, Betty?"
Jughead can't feel his tongue. He knew, he just knew deep down when the end came it would be because of Betty Cooper. He had thought it was the end when it was her new bathing suit two summers ago. He had persevered, he made it through, he had thanked the benevolent stars above him that it was a one piece that let him keep breathing instead of a certainly murderous bikini. He's not proud, he's almost self loathing to be so disappointingly basic over something that should probably mean so little but he does feel some amount of comfort in the proof that he is actually human after all.
If the bathing suit didn't kill him and if when little Betty Cooper came to school in filled out sweaters didn't take him out then he's sure that legs that long that look like that coming out of a skirt that short will surely be arrested for homicide by the time the day is done.
There is a chance, he realizes, he's being a touch dramatic.
Jughead is suddenly slammed with the realization that Betty is speaking to him.
"What's up, Jughead?"
"Uh, nothing. How are you doing, Betty?" he coughs out, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to maintain eye contact. Being labeled an objectifying prick isn't really how he wants to get closer to Betty in a non-friend I'd like to put my mouth on your mouth sort of way.
"Not much, Veronica and I were going to get some dinner in celebration and avoidance."
"Ah, yes, the two natural states of being. Makes sense," Jughead tells her as they walk to catch up to Archie and Veronica.
"Hush, Jug. We made the Vixens, obviously, and I don't want to face my mother at another dinner table game of chicken," Betty says with a roll of her eyes. "Who can push the other until one of them cracks first? Find out at The Cooper Family Dinner Table. Not today, no thanks."
By the time they've caught up to the others, they're already seated next to each other and laughing over the menu. He lets Betty slip into the booth first before he follows, grabbing a menu to hand it to her like they haven't memorized it before junior high school.
"Did Kevin text you back?" Betty asks Veronica.
"Not yet, he's so glued to his phone you'd think he'd have seen it already."
"Maybe he's busy," Jughead interjects. "Or maybe he's busy, he and Moose have been circling each other again."
"True. Poor Midge. I feel like someone should tell her but are we sure she doesn't know?" Betty ponders, looking around after having set her menu down.
"I think she and Moose have an understanding of some kind. I don't get it but if it works for them, who are we to judge?" Jughead offers, trying to regulate his breathing after noticing Betty's bare thigh keeps bumping against his jean covered one. He knows it's dumb, he does, it's not like it's unusual or weird but that little part of him that lets Cheerleader Betty make him oh so happy is waking up and he's pretty certain that he's not going to go away now that he has a realistic visual to help him along.
"So, how was Cheryl at tryouts, Betty?" Archie probes, "I know last year she was pretty rough on you."
"If by rough you mean she tried to get everyone to believe she was a reincarnated she-beast from the depths of hell with an agenda harsh enough to make Beatrix Kiddo wince, then yeah, she was rough," Jughead cuts in with a look of disdain coming over his face.
"Beatrix who?" Veronica wants to know.
"The Bride, Kill Bill, revenge, etc," Betty tells her, looking for a waitress. "And she was better than last year but I still only got on the squad because of Veronica but I'll take it."
"This vendetta Cheryl has against you, Betty, is so ridiculous," Veronica tells her, reaching out across the table to take Betty's hand.
"She's just upset about Jason, which I understand," Betty says, "but yeah, she's being...difficult."
"I think it's a bit more than difficult, Betts. I have no proof but I'd bet she's an actual demon," Jughead says with a scoff. "Polly is gone too and you haven't made it your mission in life to suck the souls out of others."
"Jug, man, the things you come up with," Archie laughs out as their waitress finally shows up to take their orders.
"Anyway," Veronica announces as soon as the waitress has taken their orders and leaves, "the point is that Betty and I are River Vixens now, Jughead, so you have to come to the games for the school paper instead of Betty doing it."
"Is that how it is, Betty?" Jughead groans, "This is where our friendship ends? After everything? Even after the time I spent all summer getting into pools and the river first because you had just seen Jaws? I could have died, Betty. And what about the Christmas you insisted you had to cut down your own tree and not only did you drag me around looking for the perfect tree you made me check it for birds so you didn't destroy any nests?"
"Oh my god," Veronica whispers through her giggles. "Baby Betty had to have been the cutest thing ever."
"And let's not forget when I kept putting the worms on your fishing hooks because you were too squeamish-"
"That was Archie, Jug!" Betty exclaims. "I was very brave and threw them into the water when no one was looking and just pretended I kept losing them off the hook."
"Wait, can worms even live in water? Or did you just spend that whole day committing mass wormicide?" Archie asks Betty.
Betty's eyes get bigger than usual like she never thought about it before and a whimper comes out as she says, "Oh no, I'm a murderer." The guilt on her face is so palpable Jughead, Archie, and Veronica can't stop themselves from laughing.
"Fine," Jughead says once he's calmed down, "I'll be at the games for the Blue and Gold but I expect consolatory burgers."
The smile Betty bestows on him makes up for the amount of torment he's going to face at the football games. He almost groans out loud when he realizes he's going to need to have a rudimentary understanding of the rules now. He takes a deep breath and remembers Veronica's first rule: exposure. This is definitely exposure. He'll be closer to Betty and he'll also be exposed to what he's now calling her Legs of Death. He's a little disgusted with himself but he can't stop the desire in that lives in the back of his head that when they do take him out, because he knows they will, it's with his head between them.
He's going to hell for certain for that one, he knows.
After the burgers are eaten and the milkshakes enjoyed and Jughead offers to walk Betty home, Veronica is watching them disappear through the large Pop's windows. As she's shooting off a text to Betty that she still has her gym bag and she'll drop it off later she's distracted by Archie's voice.
"What? I'm sorry, Archiekins, I was texting Betty."
"I said, do you think Jughead is ever going to make a move on Betty?" Archie asks, throwing Veronica for a loop. "I've been making bets with my dad since we were twelve and I'd like to win one for once."
"You know about Jughead liking Betty?" Veronica questions with surprise.
"Uh, yeah. Pretty obvious don't you think? I know he thinks no one knows but he might as well be wearing a sign that says "I Heart Betty Cooper," Archie tells her with a laugh. "And even if he was good at hiding it, I was there when he walked into a tree at the river the first time she came out of the water in her bathing suit the summer we were fourteen."
"Is that," Veronica starts delicately, "why you've never gone after Betty yourself?" She's not proud of the need to know that but she asks anyway.
"Partly? Maybe? I mean, Betty is beautiful but she's always been like my sister and I would never do that to Jug, he's my brother, you know?"
"Oh Archiekins, never let anyone tell you there's no heart underneath all of that All American Testosterone, okay?"
"Sure, Ronnie," he tells her with a smile and shrug, reaching to finish her fries even if they are cold by now.
"Good, now, let me tell you about my plan to get Jughead to make a move."
"You've got a plan?"
"Of course, you can't leave things like love up to the men! Can you imagine? The human race would probably cease to exist. Jughead just needs highly refined manipulation disguised as gentle guidance," Veronica replies with a smirk. "Jughead is a nice guy wrapped under all of that plaid and denim, too nice actually, which is why I just need to get him to break."
"You're diabolical, Ronnie."
"This will be good for both of them, you'll see. Now, I need to text Kevin and tell him we've got a new recruit in Operation Break the Beanie."
"Please tell me you're not going to try and take that hat from him, it'll never work," Archie implores to her.
"No, I mean, I would love to, but apparently it's untouchable. What it means, Archiekins, is that Jughead pining is entertaining, yes, but Betty deserves to be kissed by a boy that is never not going to be grateful for the privilege."
"I think Jug's your guy then."
"So, Saturday morning we'll go through your mom's office?" Jughead asks Betty as they walk towards her house.
"That's the plan, yeah. I'm nervous though, Juggie," Betty says with a small sigh. "If I find something then they keep lying to me for reasons I don't know and if I don't find anything then I still don't know where Polly is."
"Betts, we'll find her. We have to, have we ever failed before?" Jughead questions, stopping her with a hand to her shoulder. "I mean, if you don't count the time we tried to hide Archie's Easter eggs from him and then forgot where we put them. The entire month of May smelled terrible that year."
Betty laughs and keeps walking. "I thought my mom was going to have a heart attack for a month, she kept staring at Archie's house like there was some underground chicken farm she could expose for the Register that would finally make the Andrews move away."
"I would have paid to see that."
"Sure, I couldn't open my window until June but it was worth it."
As they reach the bottom of the stairs that lead to her front door he turns to her and asks, "Cheryl wasn't too bad, right? Because I know last year-"
"Really, Jug, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Besides, I think she was distracted by Veronica kissing me, but I'm on the squad now and that looks good for colleges so-"
"Wait, what? Veronica kissed you?" Jughead inquires with shock on his face. And maybe a little awe but he'll never admit that to anyone.
"Mmhmm. Goodnight Jughead!" Betty calls as she runs up the stairs, her short skirt flouncing around her thighs.
I knew Veronica was evil, he thinks to himself as he starts to walk towards the Twilight. Not only did she figure him out within minutes, she got him to join in, and on top of it all she kissed Betty before he did.
Well played, Lodge.