I just got back from spending two days at the beach, and now I'm hurting. I really think I'm immune to sun block. No matter how much I put on and re-apply, I still come out burned. Maybe this will cheer me up; bringing you joy, brings me joy.

Enjoy!

The Water is Wide

Chapter 26

On the Ledge

I dropped to my knees as my emotions from the last several hours caught up with me once more. My sorrow erupted like a sudden, but silent, tempest as I fought to restrain my cries trying not to be heard. Silas' men were nearby as he refused to let me go off without a guard of his own. It wasn't out of distrust of the Narnians, he said. It was simply because he had lost me once and didn't want to do so again. After breakfast Silas and the King and Queens had begun their meeting, while I decided I needed a bit of fresh air. So I went to the stables and saddled Brenna. I had no particular destination in mind, just some place with air. I didn't realize I had ridden to the same ledge that Edmund and I used to frequent until I dismounted. The moment I placed both feet on the ground and looked around, it was as though I could feel his presence and the pain I tried to ignore came rushing to the surface.

Breakfast had been a disaster.

I thought so at least; everyone else seemed to enjoy it quite well. Silas and I had arrived together with Liam and the other Terebinthians. Lucy greeted us jubilantly, while Peter seemed amused and Susan looked thoughtful. The moment everyone had food on their plates, Lucy began gushing over the upcoming wedding. Her enthusiasm alarmed me, considering that just hours before she had been pleading with me not to marry Silas.

"Of course you should have the wedding here," Lucy said.

"Here?" I questioned, my heart suddenly racing. The sooner I got away from this place and the memories it held the better, I thought. "I'm sorry, Lucy. But we were to have the wedding on Terebinthia, at Lord Silas' estates."

"They shall soon be your estates too, my wife," Silas corrected to which I offered a faint smile.

"Oh," Lucy sounded a bit disappointed, though her eyes told a different tale. "I see, it's just…Cair Paravel has never seen a wedding before, not in our days at least, and I always thought a wedding here would be the prettiest wedding to see. What with our white marble halls and the open windows that let in that fresh Narnian air, and the mermaids singing in the bay. Just imagine it, Aaralynn, there would be flowers all around and when the salt air rushed through the windows it would mix with their sweet scent creating the perfect ambiance."

"That does sound to be rather pleasant," Silas said. "Perhaps we should consider having the wedding here. The Northern Shore has hosted many weddings and there will be many to follow, and while they have been very nice, I'm afraid they don't much compare to wedding in a grand castle like this."

Lucy's eyes lit up.

"Yes, My Lord," I began, "but I am sure there will be other opportunities for the Cair to see a wedding, when Their Majesties King Peter or Queen Susan wed for example." Peter gave a sudden cough at the mention of his name while Susan's fork slipped through her fingers.

"That is true, but they won't be your wedding and I want only the best for you," Silas claimed.

"Oh, please say you will, Aaralynn," Lucy insisted. "It's not just about the beauty of the wedding that you would have here it's also because we have become such great friends. And I…I want to host this wedding for you so that we might have a little more time together before you become the Lady of a great estate and we never see each other again."

"But…" I struggled to find some reason as to why I couldn't possibly have the wedding at Cair Paravel. "But…my siblings…they are in Terebinthia. I shall want them at my wedding, and they're not here."

Silas laughed. "It is but a few days sail to the Northern Shore. I can send word at once to have your siblings ready to sail the moment my ship arrives for them. They could be here before a week has passed. That is, so long as it is all right by Their Majesties that your siblings join us here."

"Why of course!" Peter exclaimed. "It has been far too long since Aaralynn last saw her siblings. I only wish I had thought of it yesterday, then we could say they were already on their way."

"Please, Aaralynn, we're friends," Lucy said as she reached out a hand and placed it over mine. "Please allow me this honor. You wouldn't say no to me, would you?"

What else could I do? I was out of excuses. With an attempted smile that had become natural to me now, I nodded my head. "A wedding here would be lovely."

Lucy clapped her hands together and cheered before going on about all that needed to be done to prepare for a wedding in the spring. When I tried to argue for an earlier wedding, Lucy refused. She said it had to be a spring wedding, if not summer, because the Narnian springs were much prettier than the Narnian winters. And, she added, if the wedding were in the winter a great snow could come along and trap us all in and ruin any wedding planned. By that point I was too exhausted to argue further, and so our date was set for the spring.

A new wave of tears washed over me as I recalled the events of breakfast. Not only was I going to marry Lord Silas, but I was going to marry him at Cair Paravel in the springtime. It would be slow and painful. I confronted Lucy about it shortly after breakfast before she disappeared into the meetings.

"What was that about, Lucy?" I said as I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into a small alcove.

"What do you mean?"

"Just last…." I went quiet and smiled as Lord Silas passed us. "Just last night you were pleading with me not to marry Lord Silas, and now you want to plan my wedding? I don't understand," I whispered.

She smiled sympathetically. "I know I wasn't very supportive last night, but I'm trying to be now. You're my friend, and if this is what you want then I want to make sure you have the best of it."

I pushed myself off the cold ground and into a seated position where my legs were bent to the side. I had once again cried all I could. There were no tears left to fall. I rubbed at my cheeks to rid them of any dirt or any stray tear. It was quite all around me; it was a bit strange just how quiet it was. There was no wind blowing to rustle the grass. There were no birds chatting in the limbs above me, no feet scampering or gnawing at the ground. There was nothing. It was never this quite on the ledge.

Suddenly I felt a presence behind me. There was never any indication that something was approaching me. It was just there. I was alone, and then I wasn't. I waited a moment to see if it would leave, but it didn't. It didn't move at all. It was like it was just sitting there, watching me. I slowly and carefully chanced a glance over my shoulder.

I gasped and scampered backwards on my hands; my retreat was limited, however, by the cliff's edge which was now behind me. The presence I had felt did not belong to some harmless creature. It was a lion. And not just any lion, it was a huge lion. A massive lion even. At least I thought it was big for a lion; I had never actually seen a lion before. The lion did not stand on all fours or move towards me. Instead, it sat on its hind legs and turned its great golden eyes in my direction. Its tail curled around its back legs, and its mane seemed to sway in a breeze that didn't exist. Its eyes stayed locked on me; it never looked away, never blinked. Its golden gaze pierced me, and somehow I knew it was looking through me. It saw everything that I was. And that's when I knew.

It wasn't just a lion. It was the Lion. For some reason this knowledge gave me a confidence I didn't have before. Anyone who ever talked about the Lion, talked about His greatness, His kindness. What did I have to fear?

"You're Him aren't you?" I asked. "You're the one they all talk about? You're Aslan."

"I am who I am," He responded slowly. His voice was majestic and calm, vibrating something deep within me.

I pressed my lips together in a tight firm line of anger as more tears threatened to fall. "Have you come to take something else from me? You've already taken all I have. There is nothing else!"

"And yet I have not gained the thing I desire most." His voice was still just as calm as before.

"And what's that?"

"Your life."

A shot of fear surged through me. Suddenly I realized that though He was a great lion, He was still a lion. He could still kill me if He wanted to.

"You are right to fear me, child."

"You want my life?" I wiped away the falling tear that betrayed me. "Then take it. It's yours. I have no use for it. All I have loved is lost to me now."

I bowed my head and braced myself for the pain that was sure to follow, though I hoped that He would make my death as quick as possible. When after several moments of waiting He had yet to move, I slowly lifted my head again.

"Aren't you going to kill me now? Why are you waiting?"

"I want your life, child, not your death."

A new feeling washed over me, but I wasn't sure what it was. "I…I don't understand."

"I want you to give your life freely to me, as the Kings and Queens have given theirs and as your mother gave hers."

"You…you want me to love you as Mama claimed she did? Why?"

"Your love is strong and pure. I wish for you to love me as I have loved you."

"Loved me? When have you ever loved me?" I was beginning to get angry again. "When did you ever do something out of love for me? Where were you when my mother died? Where were you when Papa fell to the same illness? Where were you when the storm set our ship on fire and tore apart my family? Where was your love then?"

He rose and took a step towards me. "Where was I when a child was lost and a mother went into the wind and rain to bring her home?" He took another step towards me. "Where was I when a man, weary and worn with grief, needed rest?" Another step. "Where was I when a family lost at sea were found by those who could show them love and life as I intended for them to know. Where was I?"

He now stood directly before me and as He spoke His breath washed over me. A warm fire spread throughout my body and images flashed before me. My Mama, drenched with rain, following an orange cat to a hole where Soffia hid. My Papa, tired and spent, giving himself to Aslan. These were followed by images of myself. When the fire overtook the main mast and I nearly fell into the flames, it wasn't rigging that held my foot; it was a lion's paw. When I was submerged in water, the voice which called my name and gave me strength wasn't my mother's; it was His. And the hatch door which drifted at sea did not merely drift; it was guided.

"Where was I?" He asked again.

"You… you were there. All along, you've been there. I…I just never saw."

Suddenly a feeling came over me. Like a wave crashing over the side of a ship, it doused me completely. It was a feeling of warmth, of caring, of love. Everything Mama had said, the points Lucy had made, the love Edmund claimed, it was all true. I'd never felt anything like it before. I was overcome with joy and I fell with tears into the Lion's waiting paws.