The Water is Wide

Chapter 27

Shattered Calmness

I stayed on the ledge with Aslan for quite some time. I had many questions and many fears that He laid to rest. I ran my hands through His mane that felt like sunlight on a summer's day. I listened with rapt attention to His words. And I reveled in His deep laughter; when He laughed it was as though all of Narnia was laughing too. Even after He left I could feel His presence on the ledge and I stayed to soak it all in.

I returned to the castle with a very different feeling than when I left. My heart was calm. I still grieved for Edmund and I knew I still loved him, I always would, but I knew now that his pain was my own doing. I had been given the chance to confess the truth to Edmund, and I chose to conceal it. Now, I had to live with the consequences. If I had told Edmund the truth of my voyage to Terebinthia from the beginning, then perhaps he could have worked something out with Lord Silas, convinced him to release me from my engagement. Or, perhaps he never would have allowed himself to fall in love with me, a thought I actually dreaded more than that of never seeing him again. Either way, things would have been different, simpler I believe. Just when I began to think poorly of myself and my decisions, I heard Aslan's voice within me saying, "Be still my child," and my heart was calmed once more.

In the following days I came to see Silas' goodness just as I had come to see Aslan's. Wedding plans were on hold for now as we had until the spring and everyone's primary concern was with Terebinthia. However, Lord Silas had done just as he said he would. Immediately following breakfast he had a letter sent to his estates regarding my siblings. His own ship left harbor that night. And just as he promised, before a week had passed I stood on the dock watching Silas' ship return, my siblings on board.

My heart beat rapidly inside my chest and my palms were moist. I'd never been so nervous or anxious to see my siblings before. It had been nearly seven months since I last saw them. What precious things had I missed during that time? With great anticipation, I waited as the crew worked to secure the ties on the dock before lowering the gangplank. I tried to remain calm and in control, but the instant I saw my three sisters at the top of the deck, that calmness was shattered. Theirs too it seemed.

"Aaralynn!" Ella and Emma cried out together before running down the gangplank towards me with Soffia close behind.

Too overjoyed for words I simply ran to meet them at the bottom and threw my arms around them as they threw theirs around me. Tears spilled from my eyes, and theirs, as I sat on my knees before them, hugging and kissing them a thousand times over. Their enthusiasm as was no less than mine. After several minutes of doting loving attention upon my sisters, I turned to find Heulyn. He was standing several paces away from us on the dock, his hands locked behind his back, and a peculiar, almost stern, look upon his face.

"Heulyn," I said adoringly as I held my hand out for him. He did not take it. "Heulyn, what's wrong?"

"You were dead," he replied softly, trying to hide the quiver in his voice. "I saw you fall."

"She's not dead, Heulyn. How can she be when she is here now?" Soffia asked. I was too overwhelmed with emotion as it was to be shocked by Soffia's words.

"I know what it is like, Heulyn. I thought the same of you. And yet, here we both stand. Aslan has not abandoned us," I replied.

All at once his composure broke, and I saw that it was not sternness or anger which contorted his face. It was a struggle to hold back his tears. When he let that go, the tears flowed freely from his eyes and he ran to close the distance between us. His arms wrapped around my waist in a tight embrace. I cradled his head to my chest and kissed the top of it fondly as my sisters joined our hug.

"I did it, Aaralynn," he said through his sobs. "I did as you asked. I watched over them. I protected our sisters."

"I know," I said through my own tears. "I know you did. Papa would be so proud. As am I."

It was already late evening when Silas' ship arrived with my siblings, so from the docks we went straight to my room. I knew rooms had been prepared for them, but none of us wanted to be separated at that moment. I had clothes for them to sleep in brought in and we all gathered in my oversized bed. Ella and Emma were on either side of me while Soffia sat in my lap and Heulyn lay at the foot of the bed.

"Will you sing for us Airy? You used to sing every night. Will you do so again?" Soffia asked.

I couldn't refuse my youngest sister a request like this, and so, for the first time since Edmund left, I sang. One song wasn't enough for them, however. I had to keep singing until their eyes became too heavy to keep open and sleep overtook them. I stayed awake awhile longer; I didn't want to take my eyes off of them for fear that when I opened them again, they would be gone.

In the following days I spent as much time with my siblings as I possibly could. I showed them around the castle and introduced them to Mr. Tumnus and Salinus. I played with them on the beach and chased them through the fields. And each time I found myself mesmerized at how they had grown. Heulyn now seemed much older than when I last saw him on the Estelle. I suppose losing Papa and suddenly becoming the one responsible for his younger siblings had something to do with that. He gave me quite the surprise one morning at breakfast when he asked Peter if he could continue to practice his sword lessons on the castle training grounds. Peter obliged and even offered to show him a few things.

Soffia had changed quite a bit too. She hardly ever spoke before the storm, but now she talked nearly as much as Ella and Emma did; she'd also grown taller. Fortunately, the twins seemed to be the ones to change the least. They still talked and giggled non-stop. They still went everywhere together and got into everything together. They were still the two siblings I had to reprimand most, but even so, I couldn't bring myself to reprimand them much.

For a while I was free to spend my time with my siblings, as Silas was occupied with the talks. But once they had talked all they could, Silas had more time to devote to me and Lucy had more time to devote to the wedding planning. My sisters were thrilled at the prospect of my marriage to Silas and gushed at how romantic they thought it was; of course, at their young age, they knew nothing of what true romance was. I, on the other hand, vividly remembered my time with Edmund still and the thought of marrying anyone but him left me a little nauseous. Heulyn had very little to say about the upcoming marriage except to say that Silas "was a good man."

Silas was indeed a good man. Each day I spent with him I discovered more of his good qualities, and I found myself growing quite fond of him; though, I knew it would never amount to the love I had for Edmund. As the winter drew on, Silas debated on whether or not he should leave Narnia and return to the Northern Shore. He was concerned for his people; he had never left them for so long before. In the end, Liam convinced Silas that he should remain in Narnia so as to spend more time getting to know me. Silas agreed, and then he commissioned Liam and a few others to return to his estates and act in his stead.

Autumn days passed into winter. My siblings marveled at the bit of snow that came around Christmas time; they had never seen snow before and it had been years since I saw any of it myself. The snow didn't last more than a month however, and the whole castle seemed much relieved when it melted. The melting snow though meant warmer days ahead, and warmer days alluded to spring. The approach of spring put joy and excitement in every heart; every heart but mine that is.

Before I knew it, the fourth month had arrived. At the beginning of the month came Lucy's birthday, at the end came my wedding.

XOX

It was the twenty-seventh day of the fourth month. It was the day before my wedding, or rather the evening before. I felt no excitement towards the wedding, but neither did I feel any anxiety. Rather, my heart remained clam. I was on my way to dinner when Emma and Ella ran up to me. It didn't matter how many times I told them not to run in the castle; they did it anyway. They were excited about something, they usually were, but I couldn't tell what because like usual, they were speaking too fast to make any sense.

"Slow down, please, and speak clearly," I said. "And what did I say about running in the castle?" They both took a gasping breath of air at the same time, but neither acknowledged the running.

"Did you see it?" asked Ella.

"Did you hear it?" Emma said.

"Did I see or hear what?"

"The horse…"

"…in the stable…"

"…it talked!"

"Many of the animals in Narnia can talk," I said restraining my amusement. Though they had been in Narnia for five months now, they were still amazed anytime a new animal began speaking. "You met the Beavers last week."

"Yes, but this was a horse, Airy!" Soffia said as she joined in.

"Oh? Did you see the horse as well?" I asked and Soffia nodded fervently.

"It wasn't just a horse, Aaralynn!" Emma corrected.

"It was a talking horse!" Ella emphasized.

"A huge talking horse!"

"And it was here, in the stables!"

"And what were you two doing in the stables? You know you're not supposed to be in there without Aaralynn, or Silas, or one of their Majesties," Heulyn said protectively. He was still playing the role of big brother and trying to scold them when I could not bring myself to do so.

"Oh…well…" Emma looked a bit sheepish.

"We didn't mean to go in there," Ella insisted.

"Yeah!" Emma agreed. "Soffia went in first and we went after her."

"Did not!" Soffia defended. "I followed you in there."

"It doesn't matter who followed and who led. You shouldn't have been in there. You shouldn't have been near them to begin with," Heulyn said. I chuckled softly and lay my hand on his shoulder.

"You know, I once knew a Talking Horse, and he was a very dear friend of mine," I said. "We spent many hours together and we laughed often. Have you ever heard a Talking Horse laugh? It's quite joyous."

"Really, Airy? You never told us you knew a Talking Horse before," Soffia said as she took my hand and we began making our way to the dining hall once more.

"Didn't I? I suppose there are many stories left I have to tell."

"Will you tell us about your horse friend now?" Emma asked.

"Yes will you?" Ella pleaded.

"Well, if you insist…" I began but was interrupted with cries of 'We do! We do!' and 'Oh please! Oh please!' I laughed.

"Well, I first met him here in Narnia, the day after I arrived. I, like you, was surprised to hear him speak, but I was even more surprised at his size. He was massive, much bigger than the horses we used to see pass through the market. And he was very beautiful. His coat was a light brown, almost golden when the sun hit it, and he had a small patch of white on his nose.

"He was very kind, and very smart and funny too. He loved to laugh. And he loved to joke around and tease his friends. He taught me how to ride. He showed me how to attach a saddle properly so that it didn't bother the horse. He showed me how to adjust to stirrups, how to mount and dismount. He showed me how to walk and canter and gallop; he loved to gallop. He showed me how to do all of this on a non-talking horse of course, because it is very rare that anyone ever rides a Talking Horse, just as no one rides a Centaur."

"He sounds lovely," Emma said.

"Yes, he was."

"You keep saying things like 'he did this' and 'he was that'. What happened to him?" Heulyn asked.

"Oh, nothing happened to him. At least, I hope it didn't. I'm sure if it had I would have been told. Philip just…well, he left one day. He went to visit another country for a while, but I'm sure he'll return one day."

"That's funny," Soffia laughed.

"What is?" I asked.

"Are all Talking Horses named Philip?" Ella asked.

Before I could respond Emma jumped in with, "Because that's the Horse's name we met in the stable today!"

"Philip," I whispered softly. It didn't occur to me that the Horse they'd heard could have been Philip. My calm heart began to beat a little faster at the implication that Philip had returned.

At that moment we entered the dining hall. Lucy and Susan were already in there, talking quietly and hurriedly to each other. When I entered they stopped and looked at me. Susan's face was the ever passive one, while Lucy looked a bit guilty and a bit unsure about something. I made my way over to them while my siblings went to their usual seats at the table.

"Philip's returned?" I asked Lucy. She nodded. "And…and…" I couldn't bring myself to say his name though. I'm sure Lucy knew what I was trying to ask, but before she could respond Silas walked in.

"My dear!" he said in a booming voice as he came to join Lucy and me. "I guess you have heard the good news then? King Edmund has returned from Archenland and just in time too. High King Peter has gone to fetch him for dinner now."

My earlier calmness shattered and my heart hung with sadness. Edmund was back and coming to dine with my fiancé and I the night before our wedding.