I really don't mean to keep leaving you with cliffhangers, really I don't. So as a little "I'm sorry," here's the next chapter, only two days later! Unfortunately, posting so soon also means we're that much closer to the end. I realized while writing these last two chapters that we are very close to the end. I only foresee there being 30 chapters. I updated my profile page to include some you tube links to songs that inspired this story. That includes the song in this chapter. The album version is more powerful I think, but you get the idea.

So, here's what you've all been waiting for...Edmund's return. Also, there's a bit of Salinus because I feel we haven't seen much of him since arriving in Narnia.

The Water is Wide

Chapter 28

Too Late

I could hardly sit through dinner. I don't know how I stayed, but I know I ate very little. Edmund did not come to dinner. Peter had arrived shortly after Silas had. He asked that we pardon his brother for he'd had a long journey and sought rest. Peter also said that Edmund wished to pass on his congratulations to Silas. I remained silent through dinner, my focus was on keeping my breath and heart rate normal, and after dinner I sought solitude in the gardens.

I achieved my solitude for quite a while before Salinus joined me. It was dark out and the torches had all been lit. I was sitting on a bench near the light of one such torch, a small patch of flowers and a fountain before me, when Salinus sat beside me.

"Are you feeling well?" he asked. "You didn't eat much and you will need your strength."

I tried to smile and nod reassuringly. "I am fine. I guess I just have pre-wedding nerves."

"Yes, I have heard of those. They are of the most acute and worrisome afflictions," Salinus comforted, but we both knew I wasn't suffering from pre-wedding nerves.

We were silent for a while before I asked, "Have you seen him?"

Salinus sighed. "It is customary for the court physician to see any resident of the palace after they have returned from a long journey."

"How is he?"

"He is healthy. There are signs of his long journey, but no harsher affliction than a chilled wind."

"Good. I am glad he is well, though….I wish he had not returned."

Salinus was surprised by my statement as his quick turn of the head indicated. "Surely, Aaralynn, you do not mean that."

"But I do. I wish he had stayed in Archenland."

"His siblings missed him, and he them. I know you can understand that."

"I do understand. I know Lucy missed having him around for her birthday, and she missed being there for his. But still, I wish he had stayed a bit longer. Why did he have to return now? Why the night before my wedding. Couldn't he have waited a few days, until Silas and I had left, then I wouldn't have to see him again. It is hard enough simply knowing he is so near. How am I supposed to make everyone believe I am so happy to be getting married tomorrow when all my heart wants to do is bleed."

"You do not need to make everyone believe you are happy. Your friends know."

"Then how am I supposed to make even one person believe? How am I supposed to make Silas believe I am happy? I wish I'd never even met Edmund."

This seemed to hurt Salinus more than surprise him. "If you had not, then you would have met none of us. Do you also wish we were not friends?"

"No, Salinus, of course not. I value our friendship greatly. I did not mean to offend you. If there was a way I could have met all of you, but not Edmund, then that is what I would wish for."

"Nothing, no meeting, is without its reason. The fire, meeting King Edmund, Queen Lucy, and myself on the Splendor Hyaline, Edmund's return tonight, it all has a purpose. I cannot say for certain what it is, but I know it is there."

Salinus' words reminded me of Aslan's lesson, and for a moment I was reminded of the warmth and comfort I felt on the ledge when meeting Him. I squeezed Salinus' hand and leaned into him. "Thank you Salinus, for reminding me of that. I had forgotten for a moment, but I still wish I knew what that purpose may be."

"In time we may know, but we may also never know. I will leave you now, but it is my wish that you will not stay out here long. The night air is still chilled and you will need to be ready for tomorrow. It won't be easy for any of us." Salinus gave my hand a gentle squeeze before leaving me to my solitude once more.

The night air rushed over me. It was cool, but its chill didn't make me shiver. Rather, I found it a bit comforting. The water flowing from the fountain and the distant waves washing over the beach below were the only sounds I heard. Everything else seemed to be still and silent, as though the world had already passed into slumber. It reminded me of another night, years ago, and the song I had first sung then came to mind now. I couldn't stop the words from flowing out.

Cold nights of loneliness
Dark nights of emptiness

I rose to my feet as the emotions I felt that night came rushing back. They mingled with the feelings I had now, and I poured both into the song.

I stood there waiting
But the summer came too late

My feet led me in a silent path around the garden. My song filled the night air and the wind carried it away.

Seasons unfold
Stories lie untold

My heart rushed at the burst of emotion. I hadn't felt this much since the day I accepted Silas' proposal. A part of my heart had laid dormant these last few months, but now I allowed myself to feel once more. And the pain it felt thrived on the raw emotion embedded in the song.

And still my heart is waiting

I took a shaky breath and dabbed at the moisture around my eyes.

Summer came too late

I held the last note out until it simply faded away. And with the fading note, I closed off what I could of my heart. The night air fell silent once more and returned to its slumber. But it wasn't quite the same this time. There was a subtle difference. The faint sound of another's breathing. I wasn't alone. I turned slowly, somehow knowing what I'd find.

Edmund stood behind me.

At the sight of him, everything I'd said to Salinus, about wishing he's stayed in Archenland or wishing I'd never met him, was forgotten. I was suddenly very glad he was back and very glad to see him. He wasn't dressed in any particularly astounding way, but I couldn't remember a time where he had appeared more handsome. His hair was matted as though it was still windblown, or perhaps even as though he had only just woken up, and my fingers yearned to comb through it; my body ached to be next to his. My eyes took in everything about him. And the way his eyes looked over me, I guessed he was doing the same. Neither of us spoke, but we stood in silent appreciation. When the silence was broken, it was he that broke it.

"I…I haven't heard that song before. Is it new?" he asked.

I shook my head as the only response. I was suddenly uncertain how or what say to him.

"Oh…" he nodded. He seemed to know my difficulties in speaking. "Well it was….it was beautiful. Sad, but beautiful."

"How much of it did you hear?" I asked. Was I imagining it, or did his eyes light up at the sound of my voice? It was probably just a trick of the torch light above us.

"All of it, I think. Or most of it at least."

"I've never sung it in front of someone before."

"Then I am honored to have heard it."

"I didn't know you were there," I said quickly. I immediately regretted my words though as I saw pain flash in his eyes. "That didn't come out right. I didn't mean…I was just….and you…."

"I understand." Did he? "You didn't know I was here. You were just singing, and I just happened to hear."

He did understand. I nodded my head.

"But if you knew, would you have allowed me to hear?"

"I…I don't know. Perhaps once," I said honestly. "It's a very emotional and personal song."

"Is it one you wrote?"

I nodded my head again. "For my mother, after she died. It still holds everything I was feeling at the time."

"I was wondering if that were the case." Edmund knew the story of how my mother died. She fell ill one winter and there was little we could do except wait for the summer and hope the illness would pass with the warmer weather. But Mama died before summer could arrive.

We fell into another silence, until Edmund, I guess sensing the need to change the subject, said, "I met your sisters, Emma and Ella…I think. They nearly ran me over in the hall. Twice."

I laughed softly. "That sounds like Emma and Ella. I've tried to tell them not to run, but…"

"It's very tempting, I know. I used to run in the castle all the time. Susan would get so furious."

"When did you grow out of it?"

"Last year."

We both laughed, and just like that I felt my trepidation dissipate. For a moment it was as though he had never left, and for a moment I allowed myself to believe that was the case. I forgot about my upcoming wedding to another man, as our conversation continued and we talked about my siblings. I told him of the small differences I noticed in them, the changes I saw that had occurred while we were separated. I told him how Soffia had come out of her shell and how Heulyn had taken on his new responsibilities with great reluctance but how he excelled at it. And I told him of my meeting with Aslan, to which he was most pleased to hear me acknowledge His greatness. I told him everything, and he listened and he laughed. And we laughed together like we used to. Everything was how it used to be.

Except it wasn't.

"I'm sorry," we both suddenly said at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Edmund. I'm sorry for every lie I told, for every truth I didn't. For all the pain I caused you, and all the pain I caused us. I am so sorry."

"You're not alone in causing pain. I caused a great deal of it too. I should not have said what I did or in the manner I said it. My words were harsh and cruel, and most of them were untrue. I did it simply to hurt you as I had been hurt. I am sorry, Aaralynn."

"You have little to apologize for. I betrayed your trust. I was deserving of such cruelty."

"No one deserves such cruelty as what I bestowed upon you. As for the betrayal, I too once betrayed those I cared for most, and even they did not show me such cruelty, only love."

"I don't understand how you can be so forgiving. You have every right to hate me."

"Hate you?" He sounded surprised. "I don't hate you, Aaralynn. I couldn't hate you." After a brief pause he added, "I tried."

Now I knew something of what Salinus felt when I said I wished I'd never met Edmund.

"I tried to tell myself that we were nothing," Edmund continued, "that you were nothing to me. I thought if I could forget the love the pain would hurt less."

I knew exactly what he meant.

"It didn't work. No matter how hard I tried, I could never forget. And that's when I realized. As long as I loved you, then I could never hate you."

He took a few steps towards me.

"And I do. I do love you."

The part of my heart that I had closed off suddenly burst open. Everything I didn't want to feel came rushing to the surface, but somehow his presence made it bearable.

"I love you, Aaralynn. I love you, and that is how I know that Silas will be a very lucky man to claim you as his wife tomorrow."

A few tears fell from my eyes, but Edmund gently brushed them away with his thumb. With the simple touch a heat rushed through me and I longed to immerse myself in it. It seemed as though Edmund did too as he stepped in closer and placed his other hand on my left check. We were so close, a breath away, but he did not kiss me.

Instead he dropped his hands and moved away. "I wanted you to know the truth, that's why I came back. I wanted you to know that I did still love you. I will always love you, but I cannot take another man's wife from him. And though it pains me to do so, I will respect and uphold the constitution of your marriage. And I wish you all the happiness you deserve, and more."

My tears began to fall again, but this time Edmund did not offer to wipe them away. "I could have been happy with him. He will be a fine husband. He is kind and fair to his people. The only reason he has not wed already is because he is a man who puts aside his own needs and desires, to see to those of his people. He has spent nearly all his life turning the Northern Shore from a wasteland into fertile soil that is abundant in life."

I brushed aside my tears and continued. "He is a good man, Edmund, and I could have been happy with him. It's so unfair. He deserves happiness. He deserves to be loved. He deserves a better wife than me."

"Aaralynn, I don't believe there could be a better wife than you. And I do believe you will be happy with him."

"No. No I won't be. I could have been. I could have loved him, if not from the start then I would have grown to love him, I'm sure. But I could never love him now, not after I have known love with you. I love you, Edmund. That is where my heart lies. How could I ever love another?"

Before I fully knew what was happening, Edmund closed the distance between us once more and his lips crashed against mine. The force of his kiss sent me reeling, and I nearly toppled backwards. Edmund caught me around the waist however, and pulled my body flush against his. As soon as I realized what was happening, I entwined my arms around his neck, afraid he'd pull away, and kissed him with equal intensity.

The old familiar fire that used to burn whenever we kissed returned as though it had never left. I poured every once, every measure, of love I had for him into that single kiss, knowing it would be our last. And he did the same. His hands roamed from my waist, to my back, and up to my cheeks. My hands roamed from his neck, to his hair, to his chest, and down to his waist. It felt as though whatever we did, it was never enough to satiate the hunger we had for one another.

All too soon it was over. Edmund pulled back and rested his head against mine. Our hearts beat wildly; I could feel his heart pounding against mine. Our breaths were labored. We stayed like that for a moment, but only for a moment. Then Edmund whispered softly against my lips, "I'm sorry." And then he left. He walked away and left me alone in the garden. Tears I could not stop rushed forth and I sunk to the garden path and cried.