a/n: i truly think this is my crowning glory. i am a serious authoress, okay?

"The Dejarik Table"

If she had to chose – not that she would want to, but if she absolutely, no other alternative, had to choose someone to walk in on them in such a – truly scandalous, salacious position – she suppose she'd choose Chewie.

That was not to say she was interested in performing for Chewbacca. It was just – if she had to choose – he was the least offensive option, the one who would fairly easily let her dust off the embarrassment and, ah – well, just looking back on it now, if it had to be someone –

She was glad it was Chewie.

She just couldn't imagine ever existing in the world again with any shred of dignity if it had been Luke, or – or Carlist – or one of the Rogues – anyone but Chewie – that walked in on Han having her for dinner on the Dejarik table.

And no, that wasn't a metaphor. Or – was it? Technically, it was slang – regardless, it wasn't her bright idea to splay herself out like that, and if she was generous, she had to concede it wasn't Han's idea either – it had just sort of happened.

They'd been playing Dejarik, which in itself was odd. She could count on one hand the times she and Han had actually played Dejarik with each other – and they'd been drinking, and then, she'd sidled onto his lap for a little hot-and-heavy kissing, and he'd boosted her up on the table to give them a little more space, and one thing led to another and –

She ended up with blood rushing to her head, her hair loosened braids dangling off the edge, one leg draped over Han's shoulder, one foot braced against his other, her skirt hiked up around her hips, and panties – well, she had no idea what he'd done with them.

She was too distracted by Han's tongue to have ideas about anything. And because of the position, she was a little light-headed, and that was an unexpected additional thrill – and Han's grip on her thighs was so incredible, his angle perfect as he sat leaning forward with his head between her legs –

She was on the edge when she saw the flash of dark tawny fur, and for a split, hazy second, she considered ignoring it, and not depriving herself of what was promising to be a real hell of an orgasm – but instead of backing out quickly, or hustling away, Chewbacca – he –

Nodded to her, and turned to work on one of the panels, and snuffled something smugly to Han about making sure he wiped the table.

Leia, jolted from her shock, gave a shriek, and went scrambling. Han sat back, eyes wide, startled by her sharp movements, and she heard him utter a hoarse roar at Chewbacca that was – unfortunately – cut short but her foot hitting him directly in the nose and mouth as she tried to swing her leg off his shoulder and dive into the booth to save some face.

He grunted and then swore thickly, ducking his head, and Leia scrambled to push her skirt down and try to tuck her hair back, her face burning.

[…to disturb you or interrupt, I only need to fix this toggle for a moment - ] Chewbacca was saying.

Leia hid, hunkering down in the booth with a wince.

"Um, Chewie," she squeaked finally. "Humans don't – this is very humiliating, can you please come back later?" she asked faintly.

[I sincerely apologize, I forget you are such prudes about your – ]

"GO SIT IN THE COCKPIT YOU BIG FURRY OAF!" Han howled.

Chewbacca snipped at him, growling moodily, and rolled his eyes, striding out. On his way towards the cockpit, he threw her a halfway comforting comment –

[It is not humiliating, Princess, it is just pleasure.]

Leia hissed under her breath, shaking her head – last Princess of Alderaan, and here she was, hiding in a game booth on her paramour's filthy ship, getting a sex lecture from a Wookiee.

When he was gone, she peeked around her, and found Han doubled over, his head down on the table, breathing hard. He groaned dramatically, and she sat up, pushing her hair back again.

"Han – what the fuck - !" she broke off, going from tentative, to aghast, as he lifted his head.

The lower half of his face, from nostrils to chin, was covered in bright red blood. He pinched his nose, grimacing, and she reared back, alarmed.

"What - !" she started again.

"You kicked me in the face," he said thickly, tilting his head all the way back. "And, uh," his voice sounded funny, "somehow kneed me in the ribs, knocked the breath," he took a deep one, "out of me."

Abashed, Leia stared at him, frozen. Then she knelt up next to him, and gently took over pinching his nose. She held her wrist to his nostrils, her lips turning down in a sympathetic frown. She clicked her tongue, stroking his hair.

"I'm sorry – Chewie walked in – "

"I heard," Han said grimly. "I saw – you have to lose your damn mind like that?" he whined. "S'not the first time he's walked in on us. You coulda just pretended we were doin' something else."

"Like what?" Leia retorted, indignant. "What else could we be doing when you've got your head between my legs on the Dejarik table?"

"Dunno," Han said. "Scavenger hunt?"

He laughed at himself, and Leia elbowed him gently, glaring coldly.

"Oh, is that what was taking you so long? Couldn't find my clit?"

"Hey!" Han protested, struggling against her hand. "I know where it – let me – I'll show you – "

He lunged forward and got blood smears on her, and she shoved him back – still gently, shaking her head with a grin. She kissed his brow and pinched his nose, sighing.

"Han, just sit still," she soothed.

He grumbled, eyeing her moodily. He turned his head a little, looking down the hall.

"Dumb Wookiee," he growled.

"None of that, now," Leia admonished. "He's a sweetheart."

Han scowled at her. Leia blushed, and ran her fingers through his hair again.

"You should…definitely clean the table," she said agreeably.

"Would've been messier if he'd let me finish you off."

"Han," she hissed, blushing darker. She bit her lip, rolling her eyes, and eased off his nose, checking the damage. She wiped some of the blood with her sleeve, and started to slide back. "Let me get a kit," she said.

She was off the booth, and neatly brushing herself off, when something he'd said struck her, and she looked up sharply, alarm bursting through her eyes –

"What do you mean it's not the first time he's walked in on us?!"

The End

-alexandra