"Hey Harumin... I think I'll be a bit... late", Yuzu said in between pants.
"Yuzucchi! Where are you?"
"I'm just… leaving… my house!"
"Wait, are you sprinting to the train station?! The doctor said-"
"Never mind that! Just tell Mei and the teachers for me, okay?"
'Damn it'. Yuzu growled in frustration as she finished downing a full bottle of water after taking some of her medicine. The breathing technique that she has learned over the years didn't seem to do much to steady the aggressive pounding in her chest. Come to think of it, she'd noticed that her medication has become less effective in calming her 'episodes'. Her vision was hazy and she felt dizzy. The moving train and the scenery in the window moving past her in a flash wasn't exactly helping. She leaned her elbow against the window and covered her eyes with her hand in an effort to contain herself. 'I don't even care anymore…'
She knew that she wasn't supposed to run so soon after her latest fainting spell but there was no way she could miss the excursion trip. She had been looking forward to it despite the recent events after Christmas eve. They've barely spoken since Mei was, understandably, keeping her distance from Yuzu after the rejection. Instead, she kept herself busy with planning the trip to Kyoto.
"Hey, are you okay?", a silver haired girl approached her. She handed her a water bottle, "You don't look so good".
Usually Yuzu would brush off a stranger's concern politely but her eyes were so sincere and earnest that the blonde found herself thinking, 'Why not?'. "Thanks", she accepted the bottle with a smile.
The short girl smiled back and took a seat next to Yuzu. "I'm Sara!", she introduced herself cheerfully. Sara started to scratch the back of her head meekly, "Actually, I'm on an excursion trip with my class but I got distracted by Yuzubocchi and missed my train…"
Yuzu found herself chuckling. "Me too. I'm also supposed to go on a trip with my class but I woke up late so here I am. Guess we're in the same boat"
During the train ride she noticed that the pain in her chest had subsided more and more as she continued to talk to the cheerful girl. Yuzu found out that they had many things in common such as being the same age, being a fan of Yuzubocchi and being in love with a girl. Of course, they became fast friends. At first Yuzu was surprised that the other girl was so open about her 'fated person' being a girl but found herself admiring her optimism.
When they arrived in Kyoto they spent the rest of the day sightseeing. Yuzu already called Harumi beforehand, telling her that she would meet her at the hotel later. The two highschool girls visited temples, shrines and other historic sites before they decided to take a break. It was actually quite fun and Yuzu was surprised at the positive turn of events after her day started off so adversely.
"Hey, Yuzu. Is there something bothering you?"
The blonde was surprised at Sara's perceptiveness. She did have a lot on her mind at the moment but she had been doing her best to push those thoughts away. Yuzu sighed, 'Is it that obvious?'. "Remember how I told you I have a crush on another girl?"
Sara nodded.
"...She's my step sister". Sara continued to listen carefully. "What's worse is that we fought… no, actually I rejected her", the silver haired girl visibly flinched. "On christmas eve", Yuzu added.
"But why? I thought you said you like her too? Or is it because you're afraid of hurting her?"
Yuzu grimaced when the words were said out loud. Yes, she did like, no, love Mei but she rejected her exactly for that reason in order to protect her. Now that she was actually talking about it with someone she realized how cliché it all sounded, like something from a romance movie. The blonde, for the second time today, let out another growl of frustration. 'Damn it' Love is so complicated.
Sara watched as Yuzu was having an internal crisis before interrupting her, "I don't know about your circumstances but… I think you should tell her how you really feel! I'm sure she'll recognize your kindness"
"It's more complicated than that though", Yuzu chuckled half heartedly. "You see I…", she placed a hand over her chest. Should she tell her? They'd only just met today. Yuzu looked at the other girl, her eyes blazing with support and compassion. "I'm sick"
Sara was surprised but waited for her to continue.
"I have this rare arrhythmia disorder and... if I do confess to her I feel like I'll just hold her back. Plus, I don't want her to feel obligated to like me back just because… you know", Yuzu finished unconfidently. After she was met with silence the blonde couldn't help but regret telling the other girl her most inner insecurities. "I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have sprung this on you-"
"No, not at all. I think this is all the more reason to tell her. I know we only just met today, but I can tell that you're a really nice person. Seeing how much you care about your her, I have no doubt that she cares about you just as much! You shouldn't want to live with regrets so be more selfish!"
Yuzu was momentarily stunned to silence by the shorter girl's passionate encouragement. She looked upwards. For some reason looking up at the sky always helped her organize her thoughts. Maybe because she knew that, no matter what, her father would be watching over her. The blonde smiled at her newfound friend's enthusiasm before taking a deep breath, "You're right… Even if she rejects me (again) I should at least try my hardest in getting my feelings across!"
"Ughhh", Yuzu groaned loudly into her pillow. Easier said than done. Her first attempt to tell Mei about her feelings were cut off by the younger girl's usual habit of pushing Yuzu and her own feelings away. She looked at her with those cold eyes again, her voice distant and detached. She told the blonde to completely forget about the incident during christmas. As if she could. Mei brushing Yuzu off like this has become habitual now at this point. Although not immune, Yuzu had grown accustomed to it. Still, she was always left with that feeling of longing and hurt.
"Yo, Yuzucchi. You finally managed to arrive in Kyoto and we're finally allowed to enjoy our free time. Stop hiding in your bed!", the brunette threw a pillow, earning another groan from the unresponsive blob on the bed. "That's it!", Harumi pulled her sleeves up, "Get ready, I'mma get rid of that gloomy aura of yours!"
Before she could start tickling her, a phone started to ring. "Yuzucchi, it's your phone"
That finally got Yuzu to get up though her demeanor was still gloomy. "Just an alarm…", she mumbled after turning it off and fumbling around her luggage. She pulled out the orange bottle that contained her means to continue living. After taking the medicine, Yuzu crawled back into bed. Seeing the blonde so downhearted, Harumi sighed before she held up two charms to Yuzu's face.
"What's this?", Yuzu sat up from her bed.
"You missed the visit to the matchmaking shrine so I got you one. The other one's from the vice prez"
Harumi tried to sound casual but the look in her eyes told her something along the lines of: 'Don't give up!' and 'I'm cheering you on!'
A smile crept up on Yuzu's face and tears started to well up in her eyes. "Thanks", she finally managed, wiping away the tears before they fell, "Everyone's giving me the courage that I need!"
The brunette was relieved to see her best friend back to her usual self. "I don't really get it but good luck!", Harumi gave her a thumbs up.
Her second attempt was cut off again when Mei told her that she was dating some stranger. Now that hurt. It took a lot of encouragement from her friends to get her to find the determination to do this. Yuzu snuck into Mei's room after waiting for the vice president to leave.
"Yuzu, it's past curfew. If you want to talk, we can do it tomorrow", the younger girl sighed in annoyance, not even looking at her.
"Please Mei. It's just for a minute-"
"Go back"
Irritation started to creep up in her mind. She knew that it was her own fault that Mei was acting like this since she was the one who rejected Mei's advances. But they haven't had a normal conversation for almost 3 months and Yuzu was starting to get frustrated with Mei's standoffish attitude everytime she tried to talk to her. "It won't take long".
But before she could say another word, she was hurriedly shoved onto the bed while Mei hid her under the blankets. "As soon as Himeko falls asleep, you return to your room", Mei whispered.
"Y-yeah, sure", she reluctantly agreed.
'I've decided to go out with someone'. Yuzu grit her teeth in annoyance. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around the other girl's waist, burying her face into her midriff. Yuzu inhaled deeply. Mei's scent. Her heartbeat. It made her forget about the painful throbbing in her own chest; soothed her somehow. 'There's no way I'm giving you up to anyone.' She looked up, almost losing control after seeing Mei's expression. 'I have to tell her how I feel!', Yuzu started nipping on Mei's skin. Kissing her neck as she made her way up to her lips. "Mei, I-". A finger prevented her from finally conveying her love to her.
"Leave."
Yuzu hesitantly left without saying another word. But even though she'd just failed, she was now more motivated than ever. She clenched her hand in a fist, her heart trembling with excitement, 'There's no one who loves Mei more than me. I'll make sure to show her properly!'
I'm back! Thank you for your patience and as always, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next few chapters will have a healthy amount of angst.