I don't own these characters. I only play with them.
We came to the end of the hallway and I turned around. I didn't feel like walking anymore. It was all becoming too real.
Jasper's Point of View
"Let's go back to our room, Jasper."
Bella's emotions had taken a turn for the worse. Fear, apprehension, and nervousness were all fighting for dominance.
"Will you let me calm you Bella"
"Yes, please. It hit me all at once. Things are getting too real."
I sent her calm and peace and she visibly relaxed. It made me feel good to be able to help her this way. As we walked back to the room I took her hand. It was easier to keep emotions steady if we were touching but I found I liked the feel of her small hand in mine.
"Your dinner is here, Bella."
Bella walked slowly over to the table and began to eat. She ate slowly as if each bite was her last. I felt pity for her but didn't show it. I knew she wouldn't want me to pity her.
After she finished her dinner she asked to use my laptop to fill her iPod with music. I turned off the security on my laptop and entered my credit card at the appropriate sites.
"There you are, Darlin. Download whatever you like."
I tried to give her privacy but her emotions were screaming at me and I had to increase my control.
She downloaded and imported music until I was sure she had enough to fill even the iPod that I'd gotten for her. She connected it and started uploading the music to the iPod.
As I sat there I realized that I was going to have to leave Bella alone for a while. I needed more blood. That was going to upset her. She seemed to like Felix though. Perhaps he would stay with her while I took care of necessities.
"I'll be right back, Bella," I said.
She didn't seem to hear me, watching as her iPod filled with her favorite music. I stepped out into the hallway. Felix was already waiting.
"I need blood, Felix."
"I anticipated your need and have a human criminal waiting for you. I thought you'd feel better feeding from someone society wouldn't miss."
"Can you watch Bella while I go? Everything had just become real to her and she's not doing so well with it. Right now I'm controlling her emotions."
"You can do that when you aren't in sight of the person?"
"Yes, especially those I know well."
"Of course I'll stay with the little one while you take care of your needs," Felix said.
"Now to tell her." Jasper sighed
Going back into the bedroom I found Bella downloading a few more songs.
"Bella, Felix is going to stay with you while I take care of a few things."
"While you feed you mean," Bella said with a small smile.
"Yes, Bella," Jasper admitted.
"Can you keep control of me that far away?" Bella asked.
"Yes, it shouldn't be a problem."
"Thank you, Jasper."
Felix's Point of View
I'd never seen Bella appear so small. The facts had finally set in.
"Hi Little one. What are you doing?"
"Jasper said focusing on something, even music would be good for me during the change. I'm putting my favorite music on here," Bella lifted the iPod to show Felix.
"What are the good parts of Being a vampire Felix?" Bella asked.
"Well, there's strength and speed. I often go for runs just for the exhilaration of it. You can see and hear for miles around you and at least for me, you're never alone unless you want to be."
"You like being a vampire then?" Bella asked.
"I don't remember being human Bella, only brief flashes. Being a vampire has been my life for so many centuries that it is all I know. But yes. It's a good life."
"What's the hardest part?" Bella asked quietly.
"The thirst is the hardest, especially at first, but you grow used to it and can anticipate it."
"I thought I'd become one of you for love, Felix. I thought I'd be with Edward forever. I'm finding it difficult to change without a reason other than because I must."
"You are meant for a much better man than Edward little one. Once you're a vampire you'll know when you meet him. We can feel our mates in here" he pointed to his chest.
"Who is your mate, Felix?"
"I haven't found her yet. I see mostly criminals here and thank goodness she hasn't been among those. Hopefully, I'll meet her soon."
"I hope you do too."
Jasper walked back into the room. "Thank you, Felix."
"You're very welcome. I'd love to see you again once you are immortal Bella. You are one of the few humans I feel is destined to join us."
"Thank you Felix," Bella said.
Felix bowed and left them in privacy.
Bella's Point of View
It was only now that I realized I was still going to die, in a way. Sure, I'd survive it, but the change would leave me to be someone she didn't recognize for a whole year. My only solace was that Jasper would be with her. A year with Jasper as a companion, and his friends too, was something to look forward to. Hopefully, she could get control soon. Then she could enjoy their time together. There was still so much she wanted to know about him.
Maybe she wouldn't be a blood-crazed monster all the time and they could get to know each other better.
"Jasper, would you like to watch a movie? I really don't feel like going out anymore."
"Sure, you pick one and we can watch it before bed."
She picked the latest action movie, one she'd missed in theaters hoping it would keep her attention. Putting it in the DVD slot on the TV she settled down on the couch. Jasper came and sat beside her as it started.
Jasper's point of view
Jasper could still feel the tension radiating from Bella no matter how much calm he sent her. Deciding it was the only way, he began sending her small doses of lethargy until she was sleeping peacefully on his shoulder. He picked her up gently and tucked her into bed, staying in a chair beside her so that his influence didn't wane as he watched her sleep.
After a while, he went through their rooms and packed everything that belonged to them. He intended to change Bella after she had her breakfast. There was no need to keep putting her through this emotional turmoil.
He made a list of everything he needed picked up for them and sent it to Char. She would make sure Bella had everything she needed. He made sure her iPod had charged fully before disconnecting it and packed his laptop away. He left the iPod on the side table in her bedroom and picked them both out clothing for the trip tomorrow. He focused on comfort for Bella's outfit. Something he'd seen her wear before when she was relaxing.
He sat all of the bags neatly in the closet so they would be ready to go as soon as he was. Now all that was left was to let Bella sleep.
He chose a book from the many titles that had been placed on the bookshelf in these rooms. He imagined Bella had asked for them. Sitting in his chair by her bedside he began to read.