XVII.

Severed Dreams

From a time when she had been very small, Kasuka, mate of Kinawai, remembered that there was a such thing as warmth. It had moved in her, and surrounded her, until the day had come - long before, now - when the overthrown House of her father had been exiled to the frozen North.

Her dreams were nightmares, bounded by ice and the creaking winds, the bleak outlines of bare trees with their arms full of snow. The cold taunted her, and she stared out the window across from her bed with angry eyes. Flakes of blank white were battered by high altitude winds and then surrendered to the long drift of the sky, the pull of the earth. The clear glass did not hold back the whole of the storm; the wail of wind and the grating of ice climbed screeching over her ears.

In the spring, it is winter here, and in the summer and the autumn. The long rains will begin soon in the south...

With a gentle flick of one claw, Kasuka undid the latch. The wind would not wait for her, but grasped the edge of the opened pane and flung it back sharply. A pale tornado of sucking snow whirled around her, frosted her cheeks and the stray wisps of her hair. The cold bit into her with fangs sharper than her own, but it cleared her thoughts. The fractures of information she had gathered and the movements of many rumors arranged themselves into a delicate pattern, crystallized like the snow - her own mate, the dog he insisted on visiting; the human woman she had seen there, in the West; the woman Kinawai had drawn her attention to...

Kasuka found herself thinking suddenly that she could overlay onto that pattern whatever of her own desires she chose. Kinawai lingered in the West; either he had come, and gone, or he had not yet returned to this place, their own home.

There was talk, too, of Sesshomaru's brother and the various courses he had taken; those whispers continued in the highest circles; they moved softly, but swiftly, among lords and villages alike.

Despite these weaknesses, despite the towering, swaying array of things that hung over the dog's head, he continued to do what he wanted; only two Challenges, since he had decided to take a human girl-child as his follower; only two!

No one moves against him – not even my own people! It is the memory of his father that restrains them!

Sudden laughter rose in her throat like a boil, and stuck there. In the old days, the days of her grandsire's rule and before, the clans of the Dragon had stayed strong together, remembering that they were all one House, the many clans all truly one Family...and the dog and his get had slept calmly at her grandsire's feet, not daring to shake his chain or bare an unruly fang.

Kinawai did not know, did not care, did not understand. He was only half-Dragon; his mother's blood was weak in him and it was the Cat that had primacy. The Tiger in him lazed in the ice, and his passions were cool. He had no sleeping pride in his ancient heritage, his ancient House; he was a useless tool, like a blunt sword.

Of all the Lords, of all the Houses, High and low, only the dog acts as the memory of those days tells me it was – and he is my enemy!

Her own people would not move in the right direction, no longer hungered for the old glories in the same way. The strength was leaving them, as though they wearied of their flesh even as they were born into it. This, more than all other things, Kasuka did not understand. They were Dragons, and what better life was there to live than that?

Maybe it was because the hope had left them; because the dog and his kin, once arisen, could not be stopped. That dog...the Inu no Taisho. And now, his sons; Sesshomaru, and Inuyasha - the dangerous one, and the half-breed.

Her thoughts fumed.

That lost hope - it was why she had come to Kinawai. As the last descendant of the High House, the last Lord of the House of Blades, she had expected him to have some interest in restoring their House to its former glory...but in the long seasons after she had come to him and become his mate, when she asked for his aid in restoring the line of the Dragonlord, he had laughed. Laughed!

"Who would you set in the High seat now, Kasuka? Not I! I will not sit there. The one most worthy is too young for such a trial, and he is no friend of yours."

She had almost reached out for him then, seeking blood; she had known he was speaking of the dog!

"Put those thoughts to bed. The days of the Dragonlord are gone. They are gone, and they will not return."

Since that day, she had struggled alone, secretly, and her eyes took in the many ways in which her own mate betrayed her. Nearly five hundred years she had been his mate now, and she had not bred him any heir. He did not even know she kept the sacred change of her Dragon self from him; he did not have the strength to force it over her, to draw a Tiger out of her blood. He was the last son of the House of Blades, but she remained its daughter, closer to the source than he - her deepest secret, the secret she shared only with the truest relatives of her blood still alive...excepting her mother, of course.

Mother.

The thought was a snarl. More than half of Kasuka's difficulties could be attributed to her mother, to her lack of interest in restoring the severed bloodlines.

Just like Kinawai!

Because of her mother, and her extraordinary influence, it had been more than three hundred years since her Dragon kin had dared to act, and then they had only set the stage for the slaying of the Inu no Taisho; even so, the loss among her kin had been tremendous, the cost almost more than they could afford to pay - and then, the vengeance of the son! The son, whose name she had not yet even known - Sesshomaru, whose name had haunted her ever since, prolonging her vengeance with his own. Treachery, he cried; before the Council, before her own mate! As if humans, without help, could ever be responsible for the death of the Inu no Taisho -

And then the truth had come out, one sordid, bloody piece at a time. Not just treachery - betrayal on the highest scale, a forced battle - the sealed body of his foe had remained, a silent testament to his will. The informant; the humans. Their weapons had been brought forth as evidence...as had knowledge of the final circumstances of the old dog's death.

Kinawai, with hardly a second thought, had agreed - as had the others. Treachery, indeed; so vengeance was due. And so many had been slaughtered, because of that - that pup!

The taste of victory over the father had grown bitter with time, since the deaths that had followed it and the way her vision of events had been twisted by the son. He was too strong, that one; it was unnatural.
She had heard the stories from those who had seen it with their own eyes; Sesshomaru, the unawakened Inu-pup, had called out the Change, the shape of the beast. She did not remember such a thing happening before, and her memory was long.

So here I am, with Kinawai, like a prisoner in the ice.

She knew that he did not keep her because of feeling, or desire; he kept her because it was easier, because it was simpler to hold her and thus keep the heartbeat of the many-headed Dragon low, holding the faceted reins with one hand and thrusting her forward to distract them with the other. That she was used was galling; she was the one who used others – this reversal was not right. And he did not know - did not know -why it was that she had that power; the power to hold them all still. Surely he suspected something, but she had never offered him more than a hint of the truth.

Lately, she had taken to staying out of his sight; she had moved on her own paths, calling quietly to those she knew would listen - a display of power here, a word there...so that her allies were moving. From what she had seen of her enemy, the time was more than ripe.

A stronger gust of wind splashed her with snow, and she breathed deeply, feeling the cold crackle in her lungs and tighten the skin on her bare arms.

"I will remind them all of heat - they will remember that they are Dragons! There remains no other choice."

Her voice swirled out into the snow; her eyes followed it, north...north. In a dark place, there was a secret whose truth she could touch. She had waited through the silence of countless seasons, and it was past time…past time.

Thinking this, she could not restrain her laughter, and it rode out on the wind and beat against the windows, scattering to taunt many ears.

On the wall, a pair of youkai on guard turned their heads away from the outside, searching inward with bright eyes. One spoke, suddenly uneasy.

"The wind is high tonight, Masumi-san."

And his companion, his Captain, lifted an ear to the wind, listening, and then shook his head and turned back towards the darkness beyond the wall and the snow-lined smile of glittering pines.

"That is not the wind."

Among the trees, drawn by scent and instinct, Kagome found Sesshomaru watching the waxing moon, his eyes lifted over the edge of the leaves. He did not turn towards her at first, half distracted by his own thoughts and pleased that she had come to him.

"Kagome."

There was a growl of greeting in the sound of her name, and she came close to him, reached around his waist from behind and pressed her face against his back. He was surprised but not displeased by the tightness of her hold on him; her voice came out muffled when she spoke, but it was still clear enough for him to understand, to hear the tones of angry sadness.

"We should go home, mate, we should go home – we should not have stayed."

And, hearing her, he unwound her arms and turned to face her, lifted her chin and sighed as the moonlight illuminated the troubled expression on her face.

It is not grief that moves her now – what is it? Could it be – the humans? Ah…

"I tried to warn you, I did try. They will not understand. They can only fear."

Kagome didn't question how he could so easily comprehend her trouble. She took a long breath full of shudder and he touched her lips, the sharp point of one fang. A drop of blood pearled on his finger and she licked it away without thinking, pressed her lips against his skin and worked her way back into his grasp.

"No, they don't understand. Only Shippou looks at me the same, does not flinch when I touch him."

"That is why he is coming with us – if Rin approves. I was going to come to you, to tell you that I had to go. I meant to go before, but now it is imperative. It is not safe for her, not since the sun went down, and I will not leave her alone outside. If I do not go tonight, those who serve me will take her to the Den, and that is safe but inconvenient."

Kagome was startled by his suggestion, felt a warm flush.

"You will let me keep him – he will be with me, and it will be home for him too? Thank you, Sesshomaru."

She hugged him tightly, and closed her eyes, and did not see the satisfaction of his smile.

I do not mind the boy – he is not afraid and at least he is not human. A kitsune in my house!...but if it pleases her…

"I was surprised to even find you here – I thought you might have gone home without me."

That she might have thought such a thing, that it had worried her, came to him through a filter of warmth.

"I would not go without warning, without telling you. It is not my desire to go and leave you here."

He saw gratitude overwhelm everything else on her face, and felt suddenly protective, feeling new, raw hurts in her, things he had not expected.

"What is it, Kagome, that hurts you? You will tell me exactly what it is that happened that I do not know."

She trembled in his hands, quivered, and even before she had really begun speaking he understood; it was exactly what he had thought. He had warned her in the stillness, after grief had become her companion.

"Miroku– he was – he is so angry with me, so angry…and he should be – but I did not know he would be afraid, too, and he – I was so upset, I said – "

Suddenly she was silent, utterly still. Sesshomaru, watching her, saw the flickering movement of her eyes, the struggling of something that moved as though uncertain it should even exist.

I said – I wanted you. But I can't tell you that- can't tell you, how would I tell you?

The thought flickering through her opened her mouth a little, shook a sharp breath out of her. It brought a flush to her face, but she forced herself to remember how close they had been. Was now the time to start being embarrassed? Hesitantly, as though it was the strangest thing in the world, she stepped very close to him and pulled him closer, stretched until she could touch his lips with her tongue and then her lips, delicately, gently. She did not know it was the most dangerous sort of kiss.

Sesshomaru bent to her and held her still; the approving pleasure of his growl shook her whole body. When he knew it would leave her breathless, he pulled away and watched her with laughter in his face, in his eyes, let her clutch at him, reach for him in vain.

"It is getting late, and Rin is waiting. That kiss, mate – that kiss, I will remember, and keep as a promise."

He turned away from her into the gathering night, and very quickly he disappeared behind the curve of hills and horizon. There had been a strangeness and a warmth in his manner that she could not account for – any more than she could account for her own feelings. For a long time she stood watching the way he had gone, until the stars peered out quietly, one by one.

The night was warmer than Sesshomaru expected; even the wind. He savored it as he turned west and a little south, the straightest way home, and finally there was a taste of the coming winter in the wind that came from the north, cold that widened his eyes. Following Kagome he had not known where he was going; now he moved more purposefully, and felt the shivering presence of the open land when he left the forest.

He found Rin's scent among those drifting across the plain, and was reassured; the high wall came into view, and Rin herself, waiting in a shadow with a bag at her feet. He stopped beside her, bent and touched her hair, but her eyes were wide and wary and he stood straight again almost immediately, scanning the night-shadows.

"Sesshomaru-sama, you came back alone? Where is – "

"We are going to her – be silent, now."

Without question, she fell silent; he was turning in place, moving only his senses. There was no one thing that was wrong – not a scent, not a feeling, just a presence where none should be, an absence of nothing. At the edge of his hearing, there was a whisper, at the edge of his sight a shadow that moved – a shadow that could not stay still. Almost as still, as silent as he was, Rin was watching in the same directions, her eyes wider now than they had been, her mouth an 'o' of concentration.

She tugged on his sleeve, and he looked down at her and was surprised at her daring, her initiative.

"Sesshomaru-sama, I have seen shadows beyond the wall!"

And then, even quieter, a low whisper.

"They are shadows with wings."

He sensed there was far more for her to say, far more, but she knew the value of silence and he could sense the eyes on them even if he could not see them.

"You are ready – we should be leaving."

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama. I am packed also for Kagome-sama, and for you - but I do not know how they knew we would not be staying at home..."

Her eyes were still watchful but she picked up on his moods easily, was just as intent in her observation of him as she was the nothing around them.

A good child. Kagome's kit will be good for her.

"Rin – come."

He swept her up; the night was dark over them, and a tremor moved the ground. Sesshomaru looked back over his shoulder and saw another wave of power crashing down over the wall, more furious, more intense than the one he had not seen. It crackled and screamed, reached out for him, out to him – he smiled, watching it, and Rin took that moment to tug again on his haori.

"Sesshomaru-sama, there is a message, too. Kinawai-sama came just after sunset. He said – 'tell him I came, and that I will come back, and that hopefully he will find it convenient.' He was upset, Sesshomaru-sama – not to find you home, Rin - I - think."

She blinked at him quietly, her message delivered, content now that she had discharged her duty, and Sesshomaru allowed himself an internal scowl.

Convenient, Kinawai? Not at all, not at all. I know what you bring.

"Did Kinawai say where he would be going, Rin, or why he would not wait?"

"He is hunting, Sesshomaru-sama, and then he said he would be back. He only left the message I already said. I told him you would not forget me, so you would be returning soon."

Sesshomaru stood undecided for a few minutes, testing the air.

He is close. He will consider it an affront if I do not find him, or wait for him, now that I have come so far – but this is not a good place now. If I brought him inside it would be three more days before that protection was restored…and if it is sufficiently watchful I will have questions for the bodies it leaves behind…or their lords.

"But even so…"

He had forgotten the girl in his arms; she looked at him strangely, wriggled slightly.

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

"We will be back soon – Kinawai will have to wait until then. The morning, or the afternoon."

He looked at her seriously and took away the bag she was still holding, slung it over his other arm.

"I left without telling you to follow Kagome; someone she protects was in danger, and she would not stop. It was her - son, a kitsune named Shippou."

She looked...interested.

"A kitsune? The small one with red hair? I have seen him, Sesshomaru-sama, but we have not met!"

"You will meet him soon, and some others, at the place where we are going. They are Kagome's, her friends, so you should not be afraid."

She laughed, and he relaxed just a little. It was not loud, her laughter, but pretty and soft. He had been glad to find that out about her, in the very beginning.

"Kagome-sama told me about Shippou, and friends she had. A Houshi, and a lady, and your half-brother, Sesshomaru-sama."

He felt strange, hearing the girl say such things, felt…regrets.

"Yes those people; before, we did not get along. But Inuyasha is dead now, Rin, and he was…he was close to Kagome. She is grieving. Be careful how you speak of him."

Rin was sensitive to his mood, to his feeling, his expressions; she sensed a great deal that he did not, could not, say. She nodded, her face solemn, and Sesshomaru took sixteen steps – and then a voice stopped him, and he turned quickly, swore silently and met Kinawai's eyes.

"You picked a bad time to disappear, Sesshomaru, and now you will not wait? You are running off again?"

They fought a brief battle of eyes. The green gleamed even without the benefit of light; the gold was shuttered, evasive. Rin let out a surprised breath, but Sesshomaru barely paused. Having made his decision, he would not change it.

"Wait? No. But running I must be – Kagome is alone in a place she does not want to be, and I will not leave her there another night. But – the messages –"

Kinawai sought his eyes, held them; finally he nodded once and stepped back, let the barest trace of a growl slip into his voice.

"Run quickly, Sesshomaru. I do not have all season."

"The messages?"

Kinawai sighed.

"Yes. I sent them, as you asked. Seven I judged worthy of trust, your kin and mine, are coming. Soon, Sesshomaru."

"And the Council?"

"Those messages, too. By morning, they will all know what you have done - and then they will want to see her, this mate of yours."

Sesshomaru showed just the points of his teeth, defiant, and turned back to his own path. It took him only a few moments to disappear, and Kinawai watched him go, annoyed and amused both.

He looks strange carrying that girl, but that was not the thing – his face was turned towards the place the miko waits even when he was talking to me. He is falling fast – but I did not even see him let go.

Kouga stood outside his den in heavy air and breathed deeply of it. He had woken uncomfortably, had spent an uncomfortable day, and the moonlit coolness did not make him feel any different, any better. A message had come from the Inu with the onrushing darkness – the message gave him the reason for the sickening scent, the scent that weighed down the wind.

It's been like this for days!

The whole of his forest had been permeated with it, a scent that at once managed to entice and sicken him; it was the scent of strong mating, but it had not come to him strongly enough for him to know that - it was only the message, the summons that was newly come from the Inu, that had taught him the reason.

But reason was not enough for the flare of his anger. He snarled into the night, even shook himself trying to dislodge his discomfort, but it accomplished nothing.

The Inu takes a mate, and it is no concern of mine – or even of Council. His father proved that well enough, and they feared him - and maybe because of him, now they fear his son more!

His brow contracted in scorn. He had met the Inu, and had not been impressed; he had seen arrogance, and strength – but not without measure and not beyond matching. It had been proved that the Inu no Taisho was only a dog, like other dogs – even if they called him Godslayer!

So, why not the same for this one? Kouga's thoughts circled around that, remembering. Even in death, his own father had suffered, and from more than defeat when the Inu no Taisho, too, succumbed to darkness. And it was the accusations of this...Sesshomaru, so concerned with the rule of Challenge, that had smeared the honor of Kouga's own father.

He paused in his thoughts. The wind came from the south, and with it more of that scent. He held his breath, but in his thoughts he panted.

Perhaps it is too many mutts passing through my lands. Perhaps it is…

He shook his head, and closed his eyes. He felt as though he were fighting the memory of that strangeness, of what that scent could mean, but he could not catch more than the note of sameness – the familiar hint and an edge of deeper sparkle. Kouga swallowed heavily, tasting bile and feeling the surge of an anger without reason.

"Kouga-sama! Kouga-sama?"

His arm swung around without thought and took the speaker he could not see by the throat; he felt flesh break under his claws, skin parting, hot wetness – the scent of blood cleared the air even as it filled it, and Kouga released his grip with a spasm of muscles. He breathed deeply, heavily, and did not turn – from behind him there was the sound of a throat being cleared, and then the same voice, with a quaver this time.

"My lord, about that...that message...will you be choosing gifts? Something special…for the female, maybe?"

Kouga turned, choking half with laughter and half with angry surprise.

"Something special for the female? For a mutt like that dog's probably picked, why should I bother? It makes no difference to me."

He stepped back towards the den, seeking a place away from the troubling air.

"Sorry, Ginta. I did not mean to wound you, but you surprised me, and I was thinking….about how much I dislike the wind, lately."

His eyes flickered back over his shoulder, at the Wolf who had served him for so long, following six steps behind and wiping blood away from his throat and the collar of his tunic.

"I think you're losing your touch though, Ginta."

"My – touch, Kouga-sama?"

Kouga laughed, feeling some of his good humor restored.

"Used to be when I tried to grab you like that, you were already ten miles away! Did you get lazy or courageous all of a sudden?"

"Uh...Kouga-sama?

"Never mind - just...never mind."

Kouga sighed, and Ginta returned to his previous concern.

"Are you...are you not planning to attend this presentation, Kouga-sama?"

Kouga shook his head.

"Oh, I'll go - because it is the Rite, and because it will annoy Sesshomaru that we accepted an invitation I am sure he did not wish to extend. But you will make the arrangements – I am sure you can select an appropriate gift. I do not need to be bothered."

"Yes, Kouga-sama."

Kouga cracked his knuckles dangerously and stalked deep into the den, away from that wind, away from that scent - though he could not decide, even now, what was so horrible about it.

It reminds me...it reminds me...it reminds me of...

A/N: Ah, poor Kouga. He's so doomed to never end up with Kagome ever. Yay, Sesshomaru and Rin! Yay Kagome giving a kiss! Sesshomaru's ego must be purring now...:D Except he's a dog and dogs don't purr. Coming Soon: Sango and Miroku Decide Something Interesting, Shippou Becomes A Sibling, and perhaps Jaken Returns. Did anyone even notice he was missing? Ha! No, seriously that was on purpose: he's been QUESTING! Who wants to guess what for? Much thanks for all reviews! Let's see...

Raksha65, behold, I update...soon!

Nessabelle20: Catharsis! Yes! you are awesome! :D

Ichisakuraki: I was trying to think of something really funny to say so you could annoy anyone still under room arrest, but...when I try, you know, just...nothing. Nothing! I'm not sure about being beaten by younger siblings...I think it's probably worse when they're younger cause then if you smack them back, you get in more trouble! And see, you feel loved and then I get reviews and I feel loved...it's like a regular hippy love fest in my author's note!

ChaoticReverie: Wow! Your rant on my behalf is...awesome! Ha! I never really understood why there was 18000 hits and only 90 reviews, but laziness is a symptom of life and I have tried to make myself accept that even 1 review is better than none! Also, I just realized I've posted...17 chapters in...20 something days! Which might have something to do with it, heh...:D I just can't bring myself to be one of those evil authors who holds everyone hostage til they get a certain number of reviews! But, you review, so you can be sparkly with pride at how much you boost my ego!

RedWolf47: I don't mean for Rin to be confusing, so much as just...a little backwards with her tense. It just always annoyed me that she went from speaking in the third person/not at all to perfect grammar with no transition!

Anime Lady PIMP: Indeed it did; but now she gets Sesshomaru, so I can't make myself feel too bad for her...

Angela Page: Much thanks! Behold, not very much waiting required at all!

Lunarcat12: I expected people to be a little disturbed by Sango and Miroku and co. being freaked out, but I thought it was sort of required...I mean, they haven't seen her in months and then she shows up from nowhere as a demon and kills crazed Inuyasha. That's gotta be a lot to take in! But don't worry; they very quickly are realizing that they are being...well...idiots! And of COURSE there's something to kill people in the castle! Sesshomaru is well on his way to being a bad host - invisible servants, invisible death traps...

Kouga's Older Woman: Behold! Sesshomaru going back to Rin, who is, happily, not forgotten! Sango and Miroku will come to their senses rather rapidly; actually I suppose Miroku already has, and Sango's getting there...

Okay! I think...that's everyone! So, much thanks to you all - and you other people, click the button! Review! Please!

Phew! Final Revisions, Complete! R&R! :D