Chapter 8: The Talented Mr. Long
Sometime in the past, two magical creatures fought over a magical chalice known as the Chalice of Tharanoushis. As a result of the fight, the chalice fell into an assembly line for 1st place trophies that looked like it. Once the chalice had "1st place" painted upon it, it became as hard to locate as a needle in a needlestack. Years later, the chalice (or one of the similar-looking trophies but everybody knows how coincidences work in fiction) was inside a display case at Millard Fillmore Middle School and days away from being delivered to the winner of an upcoming talent show. Spud looked longingly at it and hoped to win with his magic act. He remembered the words his magician great-grandfather used to say after each performance: "Abigo ere egi actum!".
"To drive away; expel." Jake replied.
"Huh?" Spud asked in confusion.
"Sorry, Spud." Jake said. "I was just translating your great-grandpa's words."
"I didn't know it was Chinese." Spud commented. "I just knew he used to say it whenever he's expelled from theaters."
"It's Latin, Spud." Jake explained. "I've studied some of it."
"Wow!" Spud exclaimed. "My Spanish must be worse than I thought if I couldn't tell by myself."
"Not Latin as Latin-American, Spud, but Latin as the language spoken by the Ancient Romans." Trixie explained and then turned her attention to Jake. "Since when did you know Latin?"
"During my past as a homeschooled kid, I had more time than things to do with it." Jake explained. Trixie accepted that answer.
Trixie and Spud left the corridor and Jake was about to do the same when he noticed Rotwood arriving and staring at the trophy. Recognizing it as the Chalice of Tharanoushis, the mythbiology teacher recited what he knew (or thought he knew) about it.
Jake then went to Canal Street Electronics to relay the recent developments to his Grandfather, who commented on the absurdity of the notion that the Chalice of Tharanoushis was made by elves. "It was made by goblins." Lao Shi ranted. Unfortunately, the danger of having an evil djinn at large was too real. "We must retrieve that chalice."
"Just call Principal Derceto, G." Jake suggested. "She's a magical creature and will gladly help us. She can order a new trophy and give us the chalice for safekeeping."
"Well thought, young dragon." Lao Shi commented. "But you still must keep an eye until the switch is made."
"Yes, G." Jake replied.
The next morning, the whole school was in an uproar. Jake learned it was because someone tried to steal the chalice last night. Jake even grew hope it really wasn't the chalice when he heard about the intruder filling it with water and nothing happening. His thoughts were interrupted by Sun Park. "Jake Long, Principal Derceto wants to see you at her office." She gently said.
"Yes, Sun." Jake replied, already having an idea of what she'd want to see him for. After he left, other students were coming up with theories. "Do you think he's the one who tried to steal the trophy?" Brad maliciously asked.
"No, Brad." Officer Morton told his son. "According to the descriptions given by the night shift guards, the intruder was too tall to be that kid or any other attending this school. Even you."
"Okay, Dad." Brad replied while secretly disappointed Jake wasn't the thief. He'd like anything that made him look bad in front of Rose.
Meanwhile, Jake and Sun entered the Principal's office. "Jake, I'm glad you came." Principal Derceto commented. "Are you sure this is the Chalice of Tharanoushis?"
"My Grandfather is afraid it might be so." Jake solemnly explained. "However, after hearing that last night's intruder filled it with water and no djinn came out of it, I believe we're worrying over nothing."
"Actually, Jake, the guards' presences drove the intruder into such a hurry he grabbed a different trophy by mistake." The Principal sadly explained. "The company the school bought the trophy from has made several identical ones. I'll purchase one of those and send the chalice to your Grandfather. Don't worry, American Dragon. You may leave now."
"Yes, Principal." Jake replied and then left her office.
"What a wonderful kid." Sun commented. "Are you sure he could be the…"
"It still seems the perfect disguise, Dragon Park." The Principal replied.
Later, during Rotwood's class, Brad received a punishment that banned him from playing for the school's football team. Rotwood later called Brad to a private meeting where he offered to lift the latter's ban if Brad won the talent show and gave him the trophy. From Brad's records, Rotwood learned that he took twelve years of piano lessons and hoped they'd help.
That night, Jake was talking to his family through the magic mirror. "Thanks for helping Dad make a sale, Jake." Haley teased.
"What?" Jake asked in confusion.
"I own the company that makes the trophies that look like the Chalice of Tharanoushis, Jake." Jonathan asked. "I've made arrangements with Principal Derceto to switch it for a regular 1st place trophy."
"Dad, not that I'm not glad you're doing this but, why did you buy a trophy-making business?" Jake asked out of curiosity. He knew it couldn't have been for the chalice since he'd still be negotiating by then.
"I've bought the parent company for unrelated reasons, Jake." Jonathan explained. "As we speak, some pixies must be helping your Principal with the trade-off."
Their conversation was then interrupted by two messenger pixies delivering them the chalice. "Those urgency fees are worth every penny." Jonathan commented.
"I don't usually agree with such statements, Jonathan, but I'm opening an exception for this specific case." Lao Shi added.
"Now that this problem has been settled, how about you enter the show, Jakers?" Jonathan suggested.
"Not a chance, Dad." Jake replied. "I'm helping with Spud's magician act and believe me: he needs all help he can get."
"Too bad." Jonathan commented. "I'd love to see your piano lessons paying off."
"Actually, there's already someone playing the piano for the show: Brad Morton." Jake explained. "He's said to have had twelve years of training."
"That sounds like someone too old to be a middle schooler." Susan commented.
"Well, Brad is taller than the other kids, Mom." Jake commented back. "It'd not surprise me if he had to repeat one or more grades in the past."
"Good luck anyway, Jake." Jonathan said.
The next day, the auditions were held and it turned out that Brad's twelve years of piano lessons were a waste of the money his parents spent on them. "I could do better than that with one of my hands tied behind my back." Jake commented.
"Who couldn't?" Trixie added. "Maybe Spud could try it instead of the magic show."
"No way, Trixie." Spud protested. "I'm doing it for my great-grandpa. Winning by using any other talents won't mean anything to me." He then showed two assistant outfits. "So, who gets to wear which?"
"Spud, who do realize both were made for female assistants, right?" Jake awkwardly asked.
"They're cuter and traditional." Spud explained.
"Not a chance, dude." Jake replied. "I'm not wearing any of these things."
"Neither am I." Trixie added.
Meanwhile, Brad decided to use his other talent to win: sabotage. He did everything to could to make the other contestants' acts. However, he decided not to sabotage Spud's out of the belief it's already worse than his.
It was up to Principal Derceto to announce the winner. "It wasn't easy to pick this year's winner." She commented and then mentally added 'because it was a lousy act after another'. "However, we've reached an almost unanimous decision." 'Because Rotwood insisted on voting for Brad Morton's piano act. Is it some cultural shock or is Rotwood deaf?' "The winner is Arthur Spudinski and his magic show."
"I protest!" Brad protested. "How can my piano playing be worse than the only act I didn't sabotage?"
"Are you saying you sabotaged your other adversaries?" Principal Derceto asked.
"It's not my fault." Brad defended himself. "I only entered the contest because Rotwood wouldn't let me back in the team unless I won that stupid trophy for him."
The Principal and the other teachers then looked at the accused faculty member, who quickly grabbed the trophy and ran to the nearest drinking fountain. "Zis is the Chalice of Tharanoushis and I vill release the djinn within it!" He loudly declared while filling the trophy with water. Then, to his shock, nothing magical happened. "Vat? Why is there no djinn?"
"Because it's just a trophy made by a company that made lots of identical-looking trophies, Rotwood." Principal Derceto explained. "The most I can believe is that someone at the company used that chalice's legend as a basis for how the trophies would look like."
"Hans Rotwood, that kind of behavior is unbecoming of an educator." Sun commented.
"Principal Derceto, what happens to the trophy now?" One of the defeated opponents asked out of hopes of winning.
"Mr. Spudinski cannot be held responsible for other adversaries' actions." The Principal formally stated. "His victory remains legit. Mr. Morton's and Mr. Rotwood's, however, require further discussion."
The next school day, Jake and his friends were anxiously wondering what became of Rotwood and Brad. They didn't have to wait long since the Principal made an announcement. "Due to Mr. Rotwood's unprofessional behavior recently displayed, he's been suspended for a week without pay. During this time, all scheduled mythbiology lessons will be free study times. Out of respect for the fact Mr. Morton was coerced into cheating by a teacher, he'll not be punished for it." As far as the Principal was concerned, Rotwood knowing all along about the cheating and doing nothing about it made him as responsible as someone who forced Brad.
After the school day was over, Jake and his friends went to the half pipe. On the way, they saw something that made their day: Hans Rotwood was trying to wipe car windshields to make up for his financial loss.
End chapter.
Author's Note: That Spud's magic words were Latin was something I read at the adjl wiki entry about the episode.