I don't own these characters. I only play with them.
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And on with the story:
Bella's Point of View
On their third day, everyone gathered. Not for sparring at first but to see Bella's shield at work. They were disappointed. She couldn't find that place in her head that snaps and causes her shield to spring into existence when she was threatened. So after an hour of fruitless trying, the others went back to sparring practice and Jasper, Peter, and Bella stayed behind.
Peter started repeating all the things that had caused it to work before to help her find the lock. Jasper stopped him shockingly quickly. "Every other time your shield has worked you've been enraged, Bella. I want you to do something that will be difficult for you but I want you to let go of your control of the rage of being a newborn."
She stared at him in shock. Let go of her control? She might demolish the house without her shield.
"You can always gain your control back but it's either let go of your own rage or I feed you some," Jasper said calmly.
"Let me try to let it go. I don't know if I can after all this time to keep such a tight hold of it."
Jasper could tell when she'd succeeded. Her orange toned eyes turned black and her back was stiff. "What now Jasper?"
"Peter, spar with me."
Five seconds into the match, where Jasper was refusing to defend himself, Bella's shield popped into existence around Jasper.
"Good, now you know where it comes from. Can you feel it?"
Bella nodded.
"Now put it away."
That took longer to do. Her mind knew Peter was only sparring with Jasper but her instincts were telling her that her mate was in trouble.
"Take deep breaths and calm yourself a little," Jasper instructed.
The shield disappeared.
"Good Jasper said. Now I want you to put your shield around you."
Again it took some time but eventually it appeared around her.
"Now put one around me and Peter."
That was harder. She had to think about the nomads trying to hurt them again and the shield sprang to life.
"Now put them all away."
They continued in this vein until she could call upon her shield at will and instantly wrap both herself and someone else in it.
"Now let's call over the others," Jasper said. When they get here I want you to put a shield around them.
She tried but no matter how hard she worked her shield would not go around Alice. It shielded everyone else just fine.
"Everyone spread out. Go further. Further. Further." Jasper stopped when people were a football field away in all directions.
You can shield even farther than this but I wanted to see if it caused you any strain.
"No, no strain so far."
"Now take away their shields."
It was easy to take the shields back.
"Shield them again."
She had to work at it for a few minutes but she got all but Alice's shield in place.
"Will your shield hold up if I attack them?"
"Yes." She said confidently.
He lunged at Esme and was stopped two feet away from her face. He fell to the ground less than gracefully as if he'd bounced face first off of a very springy bubble.
"Good job, everyone go back to your practice."
"Bella I want you to shield that large boulder over there."
"Which one?"
"Pick one."
"OK now what?"
"I want you to crush it."
She collapsed her shield slowly on the rock and eventually the rock exploded.
"Good, now I want you to shield the rest of the boulders. Now crush them."
"There was a grinding noise that distracted everyone and the boulders exploded."
Exercise after exercise she thought she couldn't do it until it was proved to her that she could. She got comfortable with her shield, even throwing Peter around in the air for the fun of it.
Finally, she looked at a tree. It was a large tree and she hadn't been told to focus on it but she wanted to test herself. She focused on collapsing her shield and eventually the tree looked like it had been wrapped up to take home for a Christmas decoration. She focused harder and the entire tree exploded raining down little tiny pieces of toothpick-sized wood. Jasper threw his body over hers and she heard something about showoff mates but soon the falling pieces stopped and he let her back up with a warning to not do that again.
The exercises now were more focused on control. Make a rock dance. Make a rock go like you're pitching it. Make a stick levitate in front of your eyes. None caused any strain until they stopped long enough for her to notice the burning in her throat.
"I have to hunt Jasper."
"One more thing first."
"I have to hunt now Jasper,"
"OK, go," he said
Jasper's point of View
My mate had power. I'd hate to see her focus on exploding the house. But she had to let her precious control down to do it. We didn't have the luxury of it taking minutes for her to let that rage go and put it away so I was dealing with a very cranky mate at the moment. Knowing what she could do, I decided not to push her and let her hunt.
I knew in order to be safe she had to give the rage free reign and that wasn't going to be pretty as long as she'd kept it tightly bound. There were too many people here for that rage to focus on. Perhaps feeding every day or even multiple times a day might help.
In all honesty, I didn't know how to help her. Most of us started with the rage a full part of us. She had held it in, expecting it and controlling it instantly. What would letting it go now mean to her? How far back would her progress go? Would she still be able to dress? Read books? Play video games? There was just no way to tell.
I'd have to have that conversation with her when she got back.
"Bella we need to talk. This rage that you push down is important for your gift. We need to access your shield at a moments notice. In order to do that we need you to not control the rage so we can access your shield quickly.
I don't want to have you keep the rage out but I feel it's necessary."
I was frustrated by this idea. I worked so hard to control the rage. To let it go was terrifying. I didn't want to do it, but I understand the need for it.
How was I going to manage to leave the rage out without going off on anyone?
I hadn't forgiven Alice for not seeing what would happen to me or Esme for not fighting harder for me. They could have done more. I didn't want to address it but with the rage out, it was probably a given.