A/N: So it's been a while. I foreshadowed a break in my last chapter, but I didn't know at the time I posted it that I was pregnant, nor did I know that while my mother was overseas looking after my sister and nephew, my father would have a serious stroke on boxing day. He's been in hospital with partial paralysis since then, and my own health has not been so great either. Thank you everyone for waiting so patiently. Life has been very dramatic lately, but I've got an ever growing bump that tells me that there are better days ahead.

Suggested listening: "If I had a heart" by Fever Ray, "Fire and the Flood" by Vance Joy and "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin

5. Love Languages

Leah had had a lot of strange dreams in her life, but not many that involved random vikings. He was staring at her with overwhelming intensity, eyes twinkling as they roamed over her body.

"You look very beautiful, Leah." His gaze flicked across to the Sam and Leah scene that Leah had revisited in her mind. "Every version of you is beautiful – even the one from before you embraced your wolf."

Leah pinched her arm, but he didn't disappear. This is because dream-you pinching doesn't count, she thought. Someone needs to pinch you in real life. Then you'll wake up.

Gunnar frowned at the red mark she had created under her elbow. "Are you titchy?"

Leah furrowed her brow. Titchy?

"You look like you have a bite." He reached out and placed a hand along her forearm, startling her with the firmness of his grasp.

"I'm fine," she replied. Dream Gunnar felt so real. "How are you?" Her subconscious had gone all out on this one. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of brown leather pants. If she had thought herself immune to handsome supernatural creatures she was wrong. Her Gunnar hallucination was god-like, every inch of him sculpted to perfection. His skin was fairer than her own, but sun-kissed and glowing. For a person that measured time in winters she could see eons of summer labouring etched across his perfect form.

"I am well," he answered politely before smirking, "Far better now that I have reached you. I had begun to fear you were immune to my call."

Leah made a face. "You are just as weird in my dreams as you are in person."

He laughed. "I forget how young you are. What is known to me is yet a mystery to you."

"Everything is a mystery to me." She thought of Embry – years of secrets that she couldn't seem to unlock ate at her.

"And this?" Gunnar gestured to the crying Leah in front of them, grabbing at Sam's hands as she pleaded with him. "What is this?"

Leah surveyed the figures seated on the couch in the living room of her family home. "That is Sam breaking my heart." Sam reached out and wiped a tear that trickled down her shattered face.

"I see," Gunnar observed with interest. "He was your lover?"

"He was my everything," Leah admitted.

"He is a wolf," Gunnar noted. "A young one."

"You can tell that just by looking at him?" Leah had noticed the changes in Sam in the last months they were together, but she had put it down to a late growth spurt. Couldn't men grow right up until they were in their twenties?

"Did you not know me as a wolf the moment you laid eyes on me?"

"I did," Leah conceded, "But by that stage I was a wolf myself."

"Yes," Gunnar agreed, "Embrace the wolf and all of your senses are heightened."

Leah found herself drawn back into the scene before her, watching as Sam stood to leave and she clung to him, begging him to stay.

"He hurt you greatly." Gunnar murmured as the girl in front of them curled into a foetal position, crying on the sofa. He rested his hand on Leah's knee. "I'm sorry."

Leah shrugged. "He imprinted on my cousin."

Gunnar paused, assessing this new piece of information. "Imprinting is the name you give to mate-magic."

"Yes." Leah's voice was barely a whisper.

Gunnar looked on as Sam slammed the door behind him. "Surely when you embraced your wolf, you realised how inadequate this man would be for a woman like you?"

Leah sighed. Over the years she'd had plenty of time to consider whether she and Sam would have lasted if Emily hadn't come into the picture. In her heart of hearts she knew that the things he most wanted from a woman – submission and domesticity - were not things she would relish giving him. Still, this was a hard fought knowledge that could only be gleamed with distance. She turned to face Gunnar who was watching her intently.

"Back then all I felt was betrayed and alone." She stole a glance back and the image of her sobbing uncontrollably. "When I phased I got a front row seat to his lovesick fantasies about my closest friend, a family member. I couldn't even run away or kill them both like I wanted to because he was fucking ordering me about so much." All these years later this was what chafed the most; the fact that she'd been stuck under Sam's thumb before Jacob had broken off on his own. It had never felt right to obey Sam's commands.

Gunnar raised his eyebrow. "That young man is not a leader." He reached out and tucked a wisp of hair behind Leah's ear. "Not like you and certainly not like me."

Leah shivered, the small touch creating goosebumps and a rippling sensation down her spine. This was definitely the most peculiar dream she had had in as long as she could remember. "Not by blood," she answered Gunnar's unspoken question. "But he was the first to phase and he acted as Alpha until the rightful Alpha stepped up." She'd always thought that was Jacob, but now she knew better.

"He wore the crown and faced you as a wolf repeatedly while your touch was still fresh in his memory?" Gunnar mused. "How confused he must have been."

Leah bristled at Gunnar's cryptic words. "I have no idea what you're crapping on about, but he wasn't confused. He was just an ass-hat. I'm the one who suffered."

Gunnar chuckled. "All warriors suffer Leah. You will know your sorrows by the great joys that you compare them to." He leaned forward. "If you remain lonely, it is by choice. I distinctly remember you running from me." He was so close now that she could feel the heat from his breath fanning across her cheek as he spoke. "Tell me where you are, Leah." He trailed a hand down her arm. "Tell me where you are and I will come for you."

Leah trembled. She was in sensory overload. His stubble grazed against her face and she could smell the sweat on his skin.

"Leah," a gruff voice cut through the moment. "You'd better get your butt moving if you wanna eat breakfast while it's hot, chica."

Gunnar's face hardened as he pulled back. "You are not alone," he said slowly. "You are with other wolves." Leah watched his eyes glimmer, alternating between yellow and green. Just like their previous meeting, she wasn't sure whether she found him creepy or captivating. Maybe he was both.

"Leah," the voice she now recognised as Quil's became loader and more insistent. "You'd better be decent cos I'm coming in, okay?"

"This isn't over," Gunnar hissed before he disappeared entirely.

"LEAH!" The hand shaking her shoulder lurched her violently from her dream into reality. She blinked furiously as Quil peered at her. "Finally! You sleep like a fucking zombie, woman!"

Dizzy and disoriented, she stumbled from her bed and followed the overpowering smell of bacon and toast. If there was one thing you could guarantee about wolves, it was that they were always hungry. She didn't bother looking at a mirror before she dug into breakfast, so she didn't see the small prickle marks that dotted the flesh just above her jaw, or the bruise on her arm that faded before she'd even finished her morning coffee. By the time Quil said a hurried goodbye as he dashed off to work, her dream was all but forgotten.

~~~TAC~~~

With her mother on a mini-break in Seattle and everyone in the pack otherwise occupied with normal routines, Leah found herself at something of a lose end.

Quil was a fisherman, which was why he chose to stay in an apartment close to the marina where he docked his boat. Seth had recently started working at the Forks Police Department with their de facto stepfather. Jared, Sam and Paul had jobs in construction. Rachel worked for a government department somewhere in Port Angeles. Leah wasn't sure what Embry, Brady and Collin did, but she knew Georgia tended bar at a new establishment on the rez that had popped up while she'd been away and she got the feeling that Kim and a number of other imprints worked the odd shift there as well.

For the first time in months, Leah wondered what she was going to do with her life. She'd spent so much time running; living one day to the next with no planning whatsoever. Coming home didn't have the safety attached to it that she'd expected it would. It wasn't the home of her memories, but was a different place altogether – one that she wasn't quite sure had space for her in it.

She wandered around the reservation and First Beach for hours before she realised that she never felt as sure as two legs as she did on four. Call it instinct, call it nostalgia, but the moment she had the thought, she was phasing and bounding into the forest.

A wave of certainty washed over her as her paws hit the damp earth. The world changed but nature didn't, and this place was etched into her bones. Her people didn't just own this land, they belonged to it. She picked her way across the mossy undergrowth, listening to the sound of light rain dripping from leaf to leaf, trying in vain to reach down through the thickened treetops that hugged each other far above her and hid the sky from view.

Birds sang to each other and Leah ambled along, breathing deeply, nose to the ground. She made a game out of picking each scent: chipmunks, deer, beavers, squirrels and... wolves. The one smell that defined these woods more than any other was the pack. There were all there, and Leah made a game out of following them. She recognised a fresh trail from Seth and Jared and there was another one that was barely a day old from Sam and Paul.

She was picking over a considerably fainter track left by Quil when she stumbled across new prints. There were left minutes ago at most, cutting right across Leah's own path.

And they were Embry's.

She froze, unsure of what the protocol was. She hadn't expected to run into anyone else, especially him. Ears pricked, she heard his footfall as he came closer and closer. He emerged right in front of her, majestic form slinking along in his familiar grey pelt. He kept advancing and Leah stayed routed to the floor, transfixed as amber eyes bore into her own. She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, staring each other, but her curiosity about him eventually saw her diverting her gaze to his muscled legs. He let out a strange guffaw as she looked down, but by the time she raised her head he was ambling to one side.

Her fur stood on end as Embry slowly traced a path around her. He sniffed as he moved forward, his muzzle ghosting along her torso. She spotted him from the corner of her eye as he languidly completed his circle. He puffed out his chest and Leah understood the message loud and clear.

Embry Call claimed these lands. It was his territory.

Her wolf knew he was waiting for her to respond – to acquiesce in some way, but she couldn't. As much as Embry was a fearsome leader, there was no part of Leah that would surrender her right to roam the forest as she pleased – even if he bit her head off (which, given the size of his chops, was entirely possible).

She cocked her head to one side, her tongue lolling out as she was struck with an idea. Stretching herself as tall as she could manage, she stepped forward so that their snouts were almost touching, before stepping nimbly to the side. She flicked her tail as she made her own circuit around the larger wolf and he breathed heavily as she pranced around his rear. His head swivelled, glued to every step as she pulled along beside him and nudged his front.

Really Embry, she thought to herself. Learn to fucking share.

He couldn't hear her any more than she could hear him, but she could tell his wolf read her message loud and clear.

They stood there, shoulder to shoulder, both wolves pawing the ground refusing to look away.

For the first time in her life, Leah longed for pack mind so that she could know what the ever-stoic werewolf beside her was thinking. There were so many things she wanted to ask Embry, but their exchange on Sunday made her realise that she would only come to know the things that had passed while she was gone if he felt like telling her about them. She was free to do as she pleased, but she was an outsider. It had been years since she had contemplated the wisdom of that choice.

As if he sensed the shift in her mood, Embry barked a laugh so loudly in her ear that she shrunk back anxiously. He yipped again before gesturing forward. Leah almost didn't see the small animal in front of them, although she sighted the movement of grass and undergrowth in its wake.

Embry looked at her again questioningly.

The wolf inside her seemed to understand the game before her conscious mind could even process her own movements and she found herself springing ahead in search of the tiny creature that had captured Embry's attention.

She let out a yowl of her own to show him that the chase was on and lengthened her strides as she heard Embry's paws racing on the ground behind her. Leah had always been the fastest in the pack, but something told her that that was no longer a given.

He soared passed her as they made their way uphill and Leah gritted her teeth trying to dig deeper. She managed to overtake him as he slowed to heave himself over a fallen log that she was able to slide nimbly underneath.

She sighted the squirrel, but it was the pursuit that mattered more than the target. She was ahead of him now, but he was hot on her heels.

You can't catch me, she thought, trying to convey the sentiment via her frantic yips.

He yowled a throaty reply which suggested he believed otherwise.

Higher and higher they climbed, until they reached the crest of the hill. Leah was only inches in front of Embry's frame, which accelerated with impossible force as they bounded into a flat stretch of grassland. Leah paused to take sight of the astounding meadow and Embry pounced on the squirrel, grabbing him in his mouth and shaking him. He turned his head to make sure Leah had sighted his win. She nodded in affirmation and he released the tiny animal, stretching his jaws upwards and howling in victory.

Leah rolled her eyes. He had beaten her – this time. If she hadn't been so shocked by the countryside, maybe the result would have been different.

Now that the chase was over she could sit on her haunches and take an inventory of her unusual surroundings. The clearing was covered in wildflowers, some white and yellow but mostly purple. It was a strange feast of colour for so late in the year.

Embry had stretched out in a sunny patch and she found herself sliding down next to him, sniffing the flowers on her way.

Rays of sunlight streamed across the field and Leah soaked up the heat, watching out of the corner of her eye as a large orange butterfly fluttered above them before settling squarely at the end of Embry's muzzle. She expected him to shake it off but he grinned lazily and it was not long after that she heard soft snores coming from him.

Leah wasn't sure how long they lay there, Embry's wolf sleeping while they both warmed themselves, but she knew that time was passing by the way the light changed. She considered inching forward to follow the brightness, but that would mean venturing off on her own and the animal inside her snarled at the thought.

She was contemplating rotating her hind legs so that they moved ahead while her upper half stayed adjacent to Embry when a howl sounded in the distance. It wasn't an emergency howl – that much she could tell even without pack mind – but it was a call to attention and Embry jumped up immediately, the butterfly taking flight and drifting back into the air.

The howl sounded again and Embry trotted back the way they came. Before he began his descent, he turned once and gave her a small nod.

She nodded back, lifting one paw in a small wave as he twisted back and disappeared from view.

~~~TAC~~~

Billy Black's house wasn't really on the way to anywhere, but Leah told herself that it was part of her path home as she approached the familiar red weatherboard cottage.

She knocked on the front door as she opened it, calling the Chief's name as she let herself inside.

"Rachel mentioned you were back." Billy's wheelchair emerged from behind the kitchen counter and Leah adjusted her gaze to the right height.

"Hi Billy," she answered carefully. For her whole life he had been the most important power-breaker on the reservation. No matter what his status might be these days (or Leah's changed opinion of him after speaking with Tiffany Call), Leah regarded him with habitual deference.

"Your mother will be glad you're back." He gestured to the armchair to her right. "Have a seat."

Leah hesitated. What the hell was she doing here?

"Have you told my son you're back?" Billy continued, not bothered by Leah's non-compliance.

"No," she perched on the armrest of the lounger, before reaching the question she hadn't yet admitted to herself she had come to ask. "Have you?"

Billy's lips curled into a shadow of a smile. "I'm sure you're well aware that Jake and I don't have long yarns on the phone. We're not like that."

Leah shrugged. "You have seen him... multiple times in the last four years though." No matter how frequently she mulled over Embry's paternity in her head, she couldn't understand how Billy had remained distant from Embry after he'd learned the truth, nor could she understand how Billy could face Jacob while they were both visiting Rebecca in Hawaii and not disclose that secret.

"And?" Billy challenged.

"And you haven't told him that Embry is his brother!" Leah was working hard not to yell, but she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

Billy cocked his head to one side. "Would you really want me to?"

Leah frowned. She wasn't sure if she believed Embry's assertion that Jacob coming home would immediately lead to a blood bath. Neither Jacob nor Embry was inherently violent. Embry had willingly joined Jacob's pack when he had had the choice, who was to say Jacob wouldn't opt for the same thing?

"That's what I thought," Billy continued, mistaking her silence for acceptance. "Don't worry, I'll keep your stop-over here hush-hush, although I do wish you'd do something to end Jacob's worrying."

"Actually," Leah bit her lip, only realising her decision at the very time the words left her mouth, "I'm going to stay for a while." Billy's eyes lingered on Leah and she felt compelled to continue talking to fill the silence. "I don't want to run anymore..." she thought of the way the forest had felt under her paws, "- unless it's on these lands." The image of Embry's wolf with a butterfly poised just on his nose popped into her mind and she shook her head to try and pry herself away from the memory. "This is my home," she finished.

Billy nodded. "And what do you plan to do with yourself then?"

Leah wrung her hands, wishing that she hadn't made the detour to Billy's house. There was a wisdom to the way he spoke, even if he was clearly one of the world's biggest assholes.

"I honestly have no idea," she finally answered.

If Billy thought that a poor response he showed no indication of it. He wheeled his chair a little closer. "Jacob never told me your major. I don't actually know what you studied all these years."

Leah cast her eyes downwards. "I sort of did bits and pieces of everything but my major was Fine Arts and I also did a number of music and anthropology courses," she mumbled into the ground. One of the major pitfalls of attending College with Rosalie was that the blond vampire had already learned everything practical several times over. Any kind of study had seemed like a good idea to Leah back then and she was happy to follow her new friend's lead, choosing things that were aesthetically pleasing, but not necessarily likely to lead to any kind of career. She'd been lucky to get her office job at the end of her study, although it was in no way related to the university courses that she'd performed so well in. She forced herself to raise her eyes back to meet Billy's. "I could work for an art gallery, but it turns out that those jobs are in such demand I can't even get my foot in the door as a volunteer."

Billy knotted his brow, deep in concentration before snapping his fingers and smiling at her triumphantly. "Old Quil!"

"Huh?"

"He received a stipend to manage the tribe's history, art and artefacts and we haven't replaced the position since he passed. You'd mostly need to manage the library and keep a second set of documents for the restricted wolf stuff. It won't pay anywhere near a normal salary but it will cover all your expenses and you can give yourself whatever fancy title you like to help improve your resume and you can always supplement it with another job given that it's not a full-time role."

"I..." Leah didn't know what to say.

"You can start tomorrow," Billy added. "Try if for a few weeks and then let me know if you want to continue."

"Just like that?" Leah asked, feeling a little dizzy from the sharp turn in their conversation.

Billy chuckled. "I'm actually not overrun with people keen on the role, Leah."

Leah mulled over the option for a few minutes while Billy watched her silently. "I"ll take it," she eventually spoke up, "But there is one thing I need to ask you first."

"Yes?" Billy queried, his voice laced with suspicion.

"Why would you do such a nice favour for me?"

Billy beamed. "Harry was one of my best friends Leah. You're like family."

Leah couldn't control her mounting anger and she began to realise the real reason her feet had walked her to Billy's door. She was like family? The last time she had felt this outraged on behalf of another person was when she had stormed into the Cullen compound to chew out a very pregnant Bella Swan.

"What does being your family mean, Billy?" she kept her voice even, but she knew the bitterness was evident from her words.

Billy chose to take her question at face-value. "I will always try and do the best I can from my daughters, and those that are my surrogate daughters. For many years I did expect that you might one day be my daughter in law."

Was he for real?

"And what about your sons? What about Embry? You've spent years ignoring your eldest son, despite him definitely needing you!" Leah knew that it was an insolent comment, but her veil of respect only extended so far.

Billy gaped at her. "Who says I ignore him? I've tried to speak to him plenty of times but he doesn't want to hear what I have to say!"

Leah scoffed. "I'm not saying you haven't tried recently, cos I haven't been around to know anything about that... I'm talking more about the decade or so between when you found out he was your son and when he found out he was your son. Don't you think he might have needed a father sometime in that time period?" The idea of Embry suffering affected Leah more than she was able to express, all the more so because Billy had been a deadbeat dad while tramping around the reservation playing the part of benevolent leader.

Billy clenched his fists. "You don't know what you're talking about – which is hardly surprising given that my personal life is none of your business. I can understand you wanting to wax lyrical about Jake and what I have and haven't told him, but until Embry became the leader of the protectors I didn't know for certain he was my son." Leah opened her mouth to protest, but Billy kept talking. "I know what Tiffany told Sarah the day that she died... which is entirely at odds with what Tiffany told me when she was pregnant and in the years that followed. She obviously wasn't sure who the father was," Billy's voice shook a little, "And I was one of the more remote possibilities."

Now it was Leah's turn to stare open mouthed. Billy's hurt over the idea that Tiffany had been with other people was palpable, as was the firmness of his view that he had been grievously wronged.

Was it really possible that Billy couldn't see what had been so obvious to Leah in just one conversation with Tiffany?

Leah jumped up and backed up towards the cottage door. "Listen Billy, this is really awkward and weird, and I'm not sure if I should even say it, but just in case it makes a difference in some way... I'm pretty sure you're the only person Tiffany Call has ever been with...ever." Leah cringed. It was just so gross to think of Billy Black being intimate with anyone – despite Embry, Jacob, Rebecca and Rachel being undeniable evidence that he was no monk.

Billy glared at her. "What makes you so sure of that?"

"Just a hunch," Leah placated him, "But my instincts are pretty good. Talk to her," she decided to push her luck. "Just ask her if it matters to you."

"Nothing Tiffany does matters to me," Billy responded automatically, but he seemed lost in his thoughts.

"Sure, sure," Leah stuttered, reverting to Jacob's familiar catchphrase. She had one foot out the door before she turned back, unable to resist pushing her earlier argument. "You know none of this would make a difference to Embry, right? Even if you didn't know you were his father for certain, you knew there was a possibility and did nothing. To him, it's always going to seem like you rejected him."

Billy wheeled his chair right up to Leah and she took a step back so that she was standing on the porch.

"I guess that's something we have in common then," he said flatly before closing the door in her face.

Leah stayed routed to the spot, repeating Billy's words back to herself as her wolf senses told her that he was moving further away from the entrance to his house. It was only much later, after she had listened to the strangled sobbing coming from Billy's bedroom that she turned on her heel and made her way back to the marina.

~~~TAC~~~

Quil was drinking a beer while stirring something on the stove when Leah knocked and let herself into the little apartment.

"Hi Honey, you're home," he greeted her in a sing-song voice. "You know you don't need to knock, right? I smelled you when you were a hundred yards away."

Leah smiled as he passed her a bottle from the fridge. "About that... I'd like it to be." Quil frowned and Leah realised the mismatch between his second sentence and her response. "Home," she continued, waving her hands at the space around them. "For a little while at least, until I work out a more permanent living arrangement." She wasn't quite sure that Billy Black's job offer remained after the turn that their conversation had taken, but she decided that it didn't really change her plans one way or the other.

The youngest Ateara couldn't contain his grin as he wrapped Leah in a firm hug. "Stay for as long as you want," he whispered in her ear before he pulled away. "But don't go feral too frequently, okay? There's a limit to how many haircuts I can give you... and I'm really going to need to get the plunger out and unblock the drain in the shower, and-"

"I'll try and stay house-trained," Leah interrupted him through her laughter.

"See that you do," he teased, before reaching to grab a package behind him. Leah recognised the black box immediately and he cupped her chin in his other hand to keep her from turning away.

"Don't worry about what Embry or Rachel says," he assured her as he slipped the lid off the box and handed her the small cell inside. "Do this for you... because you need it, okay chica?"

Leah bit her lip. She could walk out now and ignore Quil. She could ignore all of them if she wanted to – but what was the point? She lifted her beer to her lips and tipped her head back, guzzling the entire beverage in three swift gulps before pressing the power button on the phone.

"Atta girl," Quil enthused. "I'm just going to run down and grab a few things from the shops."

Leah was certain that there was nothing they needed that wasn't already in his cupboards, but she was grateful he wasn't staying to listen.

She looked at the screen in front of her for a long time before dialling the number that after all these months she still knew by heart.

"Hello," the familiar baritone drawled, and Leah found herself instantly transported to lazy days and longer nights in the Alaskan countryside.

She took a steadying breath, bracing herself for his reaction.

"Hello Jacob," she replied.

A/N: I worked long and hard on this one, so please leave a review if you are still interested in this story. Until next time, always be yourself – unless you can be a Viking werewolf. Then, be a Viking werewolf.