Chapter 13

I spent the entire ride back to Haywood thinking about the choices I had made in the last week. I have spent so long making decisions based on how Joe, my mother and the Burg were going to react that I was putting the same thoughts on the guys and Ranger. It wasn't fair to them and it was making my relationships with them strained.

The guys and Ranger treated me with respect and valued my opinions, and I needed to start accepting that and treating them the way they treated me. Now I had to get through the talk with Ranger and tell him about my apfinay and I know it wasn't going to be easy. I knew under all of his anger he was hurt that I hadn't trusted him, and I understood where he was coming from because if he had done that to me I would have been heart broken.

When we pulled into the garage I sat in the seat just staring ahead until Hector cleared his throat making me jump in my seat in surprise, "You need to go upstairs eventually…... The sooner you go up the better." He said. I watched him slowly open his door and get out; he went to the stairs, of course he still takes the stairs. I rolled my eyes at his back and watched him grab his phone as he walked through the door.

My phone rang startling me, I picked it up, "Hello?"

I heard Hector say in the phone softly. "Saw that." I looked at my phone in disbelief.

Did he really just call me to say that. I stuck my tongue out at the phone then brought it back up to my ear. I heard Hector laughing and I looked up to see him standing at the door again. "Saw that too. Now get your ass upstairs!" he said into the phone then hung up.

I took a deep breath and slowly got out of the Cheyenne walking to the elevator. I knew the next few minutes were going to make or break my relationship with Ranger; I hope it would make us stronger. With each level in the elevator I felt my anxiety rising.

The elevator opened on five and when I stepped out I could feel the tension in the room. The guys looked exhausted from the last 20 hours of break-ins and alarms and when they looked at me I could see both the concern and disappointment. I felt like the worst person in the world, it was a feeling I hoped to never feel again. And with each step to Ranger's office I felt like turning around and running, I even stopped in my tracks when I looked up and saw Ranger's door open and waiting for me.

That's when my thoughts went wild…. he's gonna send me to a third world country, I can feel it now I thought wildly. I started to pivot around when I heard Ranger's voice bellow from his office.

No really he bellowed, Ranger never bellows at anyone, even the people who he goes after, shit he's fucking pissed!

"Stephanie get in here now!"

Shit, shit, shit; a full name, that was never good!

But I needed to step up and not run. Running would accomplish nothing. I took a deep breath and walked into the office with my head held high. I may be shaking on the inside but I was going to fake it until I made it, I thought.

Ranger was standing next to the door and after I cleared into the room he slammed the door so hard that it made the walls rattle. Ok, so he's angry enough to let everyone else know it. Usually he is a quiet, lead you to your death silently angry. But right now his face had a look of pure rage on it. I broke out in a cold sweat…so not good I thought.

I watched as he walked passed me and around to sit at his desk. "Sit", he demanded in a cold voice.

In a flash I went from worried to irritated, my Hungarian anger was about to make and appearance.

"No" I said firmly but softly. "Can I help you with something?" I said crossing my arms. I knew he was mad, but this was getting ridicules.

He raised a single eyebrow at me and I almost wet myself. So I countered with a two eyebrow raise, and let's be honest it was only because I couldn't do one eyebrow…. The show off.

The silence seemed to stretch into what felt like a million years. I watched as he leaned back into his chair and steepled his fingers over his chest, his eyes narrowing at me. So I tilted my head to the side in a challenge, I just hope I had it in me to back up the challenge. I felt like I had a split personality, part worried and part irritated and with each second it changed.

I watched as he slowly stood up, place his fists on the desk and lean forward, "Want to tell me why you lied to me?"

Now I had a frustrated look on my face, I still don't feel like I lied. "I would like to know what you are talking about because I never really lied to you." I said.

He practically growled, "Your second skip, the one that you never should have received from the soon to be dearly departed Vinnie."

Now I felt my anger returning he was not being fair and I was only going to take some of the blame with this. "First of all I didn't lie. I said I had a skip named Mikel and I do. I said I need to find him, which I still do! I never said that he was my only skip! I even told the guys that I had two skips!"

"It was a lie by omission Stephanie, the same difference." He purred in his scary voice leaning just a little further over the desk. His hands were in fists that looked like he could and would break the desk if he got any angrier. "I trust you to tell me things and be 100% honest about what is going on in our lives."

That's when I saw red, while I may not have been 100% honest he has been hot then cold for weeks…. no months! How am I supposed to know what he wants from me if he doesn't speak up?

"No it's not! Ranger, we are not married or even together. I don't have to tell you everything. I asked for help with Mikel because I couldn't find anything on him. I didn't ask for help on Vinnie the Creeper because I had solid leads on him. Last time I checked I didn't have to check in with you!" I was practically yelling by the end. I was tired of people telling me what to do, and thinking I was helpless. And I was tired of people not telling me where we stood…. RANGER, I thought.

"And if you paid attention to what I did today you would have seen I found him. And that I didn't do anything stupid, I took Hector with me. I had NO control over what happened. ANDDD if you remember I did ask you for help when I went after him, I asked for a guy to go with me to the stake out. I was NEVER going to go alone." By the end my hands were waving around and I was breathing like I had just ran 10 miles.

I watched as he slowly stood straight up no longer leaning on the desk, was he taller? He seemed taller! Now that all my anger was out I was back to feeling like at any moment he was going to crush me like a bug. Shit, shit, shit. What was I thinking, I yelled at Batman!

"Stephanie I know you are aware of why he was arrested. I know you are aware that he was in my pile until Vienne put him in yours to save some money. I also know that you knew I would want to know you had him, so I could help you. You promised you wouldn't do anything stupid, and this was fucking stupid. To go after him with no back up other than Hector who was SHOT less than 24 hours ago…. Stupid" Ranger's voice went down an octave with each sentence so by the end I had to strain to hear him. "DO you know why I have Bobby, Tank and Lester as my back up? Because I know that we are always 100% up front with each other. I know that they will never leave out details that matter. And you having Donaldson as your second skip was a vital detail, and I know you know that because you deliberately left that information out. I would fire any of the guys for that."

I had chills go through my body at his tone but I also felt my anger come back in full force, "It was NOT stupid to do my job! I am good at my job and frankly I am sick and tired of being told that I am helpless and need a babysitter all the time. I understand that you and guys have a relationship for work, but you and I don't work together. It was my file Ranger, MINE. Vinnie gave it to me, it was not part of anything to do with Rangeman." I yelled.

I saw him raise his eyebrow again; seriously what a show off being able to just raise one. "I didn't say you were stupid Stephanie, I said that you made a stupid choice. That is very different. You know that I support you in your job, I always have. However even I need back up once in a while." He slammed his hand down on the last word making me jump. "And so there is no confusion in the future you will have back up when you go after anyone like him or I will talk to Vinnie so you don't get anyone higher than a low bond!"

I saw him breathing deeply and I could see his eyes were almost wild. If I wasn't so angry I would have taken a moment to carefully think about what he was really saying and the way, he was acting. Instead I grabbed onto what pissed me off.

I took a step back, then I let out a screech. "You have NO right to tell me what I can do! I CAN DO WHAT EVER THE HELL I WANT ANDDDD JUST SO WE ARE CLEAR… JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DOESN'T MEAN I WILL BE YOUR LITTLE DISCIPLENED EMPLOYEE. SO YOU BETTER GET OVER THAT I DID MY JOB WITHOUT ASKING FOR YOUR PERMISSION OR HELP!" Honestly I didn't even know what was coming out of my mouth until it was out, but it was not good. I was breathing hard and waving my hands. "YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!" I growled stomping my feet, I know I looked like a child but at that very moment I just didn't care!

Then I took another step back and took a deep breath and it sank in that I had just yelled…. at Ranger, no one yells at Ranger and lives!

Shit, Batman, I just yelled at Batman! Ohhhh Fuck, shit. I am going to die; he is going to send me to a third world country. I will never see my family or eat a Crispy cream again! I watched with wild eyes as he his eyes narrowed at me and he slowly went around the desk and stalked towards me. I took a step back, then another and another until my back was against the wall. I watched as he came so close that his chest brushed mine with each breath.

His breath brushed my cheeks as he whispered, "What did you say?"

"Ummmmm", I tried to do some quick thinking and remembering of the word vomit that came out of my mouth. "You're not the boss of me?" It was more a question then an answer.

"No" he practically growled, I felt the rumble in his chest as he brushed me.

"Ummmmmmm", I whispered, "That I don't need to ask your permission?"

"Noooooooo" he said as he slowly shook his head back and forth. "Before that."

"Ummm, I can do whatever I want" I said as I tried to back farther into the wall; but no luck I was smack-dab between a rock, A.K.A Ranger and the wall. No moving backward or forward so decided to try the side. I attempted to step to the left and his hand shot up and slammed on the wall next to my head making me jump. So I tried to take a step to the right and his other hand snapped up onto the wall with a thud. Ok yep not moving.

"After that", he said slowly like it would help me understand.

"I sure can't remember" I mumbled. I was not repeating that unless the room was on fire.

"I can start a fire", he said.

"Shit, Out loud?" He nodded.

"I am waiting Babe, say it again." He purred into my face.

I shook my head back and forth. Denial was my friend and if I don't say it again then It didn't happen.

"Babe, say it again." I saw the plea in his eyes. Then he cheated and used the special word, "Please."

And with that please I was lost, "I love you." I whispered my breath brushing over his face. Then his mouth was on mine as he plundered and pillaged it. One minuet I was standing and the next I was being braced against wall with full body contact from toes to lips.

It felt like he was desperate for me to say it again and again, "I love you" I murmured against his hair as his lips and teeth grazed my neck. He ground against me as soon as I said the words again. It was like he was trying to climb inside me so he could keep me there and safe forever.

"Again" he said hoarsely as one of his hands pulled my top over my head and the other grasping

my ass pulling me as close as possible.

"I love you" I said again ripping at his shirt. Practically tearing it in half to get it off and to get my hands on his chest. I felt his mouth cover my nipple and I was lost again. "Ohh God please... Ranger please." I stuttered trying to get him to do something, I wasn't sure what but anything to make this burning fire in my body explode.

I felt more then heard him groan into my breast as he was pulling at the snap of my jeans. "Again", he demanded as his hand slipped inside my panties.

"I love you." I moaned as he was slipping my jeans down my legs, somehow he had gotten my shoes off without me even noticing. He grasped my ass and pulled me up so I could wrap my legs around his hips.

"Again, Babe, Again." He begged as he lavished one of my nipples with his tongue then went to the other. He was leaving marks; I could feel it with each pull of suction over my nipple.

"I love you Carlos!" I said with barely any breath. When he heard me use his name he lost it biting my nipple making me jump in pleasure as he slipped inside of me at the same time. "Ohh Yes, please yes Carols." I felt him stroke deep inside me over and over going deeper with each thrust until he was all the way inside not able to go any deeper.

"MINE…. YOU…. ARE… MINE." He growled slowly with each thrust into me over and over again. "Say it."

"I am yours," I said breathlessly just trying to hold on as I rode the waves of pleasure.

"Forever", he said as he licked and bit my neck, while thrusting even deeper than before. One of his hands coiled into my hair pulling just hard enough to tilt my head back so he had complete access to my neck. My eyes were closed as I felt every piece of him filling me, every piece of us matching together perfectly. But he wanted an answer and I wasn't giving it fast enough.

"Say it, NOW" He demanded.

I clenched my fingers into his shoulders and arched my back desperately trying to get closer, have him go deeper. "Forever." I said as I exploded. I felt my head fall forward onto his shoulder, my face buried into his neck. "Forever." I whispered.

I felt him stroke once, twice more before he also shattered and held me close, "You are mine" he said breathing deeply looking into my eyes. "Forever." He whispered as his mouth covered mine for a deep kiss. His tongue touched mine and I felt my muscle clench at him and he pushed into me again. "Mine."

-/-

I lazily watched as he carried us from the wall to the couch, sitting down with me in his lap; him still deep inside me. I felt him brush his hand up and down my spine and heard him sigh.

I knew he was thinking deeply about what he wanted to say because he never sighs. So I decided to go first. "I am sorry." I whispered into his neck, "I wasn't completely honest and I should have been."

After a moment I felt him kiss my curls and whisper, "No I am sorry and I was wrong."

I sat up straight and looked at his face in surprise. I could see the fatigue in his face and the honesty in his eyes. Batman said he was wrong; this never happens because Batman is not wrong.

"BABE" he smiled, "I am not Batman, and even I am wrong sometimes." He said as he stroked my face gently. He leaned his head forward and placed his forehead on mine.

"You terrify me." He admitted

I pulled back and I knew he could see the confusion on my face, "Babe, you try to conquer the world and you go after people like Donaldson and I have no control over you." I know my eyes narrowed because he quickly said, "I just mean that you try to do it alone, and I can't help you and you don't work for me so I can't tell you what to do." He started to brush my face gently with his fingers again, "I can't make you be safe and I can't follow you around everywhere, every day. You would hate me and I love you because of who you are not who I want you to be."

I guess I still looked confused because he gave a gentle laugh, "I am tiered and I am not saying this right." He leaned his head back on the coach closing his eyes, his hands on my hips. After a moment he squeezed my hips gently, and looked up into my eyes "I love you. I want you to be safe. Today when I heard that you had a gun pointed at your face and I didn't even know you were in danger I felt like a failure. I could have lost you today and I didn't even know it, I didn't have all of the facts. In the future can you please just tell me everything and trust me…" he kissed me gently, "to trust you."

I just looked at him because I didn't think that I would ever hear any of this. I felt like crying and laughing as I gently reached up and cup his face. I must have shed a tear because I felt him reach up and brush it off my cheek. I decided to reach deep down and be completely truthful also, "I might not have lied, but I wasn't honest. I didn't tell any of you about Vinnie the Creeper because I knew you would upset. I want to promise that I will never do that again but I know me." I said with a small grin, "How about I say I promise to try to come to you first from now on. And to tell you when I get a higher bond or a more difficult one?"

He smiled at me, "How about you just tell me about all of your skips?" he said. "I want to help you even if it's just to say good luck."

"I can do that." I whispered.

He looked in my eyes, "Babe, say it again." He whispered.

I gently cupped both cheeks again and said, "I love you."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I have waited so long to hear you say that. I didn't think you did, I thought you just thought of me as your best friend." He said the last word with a chuckle.

I closed my eyes, "I was to afraid to even admit it to myself before Point Pleasant. That's what I was hiding, Lula made me realize that you were the one in my heart. Its why I got so drunk" I whispered. "Then the last week you would say one thing to give me hope; like the closet comment, but then I would remember things you said before. I was scared to hope, so I didn't say anything."

He looked frustrated "We really need to get our shit together." He said with a frown, "From now on, if you have a question; ask me."

"Fine." I said sitting up straight, "But you have talk to me! If you think something, then say it."

He gave me a gentle smile, "I'll try, it's hard for me to just talk."

"I know, like it's hard for me to ask for help." I smiled, "and I don't always need help." I said gently.

"I know; you're Wonder Woman." He said as he gently rubbed my back. "Can Wonder Woman just let me know where she is going and what she is doing. That's all I ask."

"We are gonna fight again." I said with a grin.

"As long as we can make up like this." He grinned back.

I rolled my eyes at him then gasped when I felt him harden again and shift so I could feel him fill me.

His hands softly grasped my hips and slowly helped me move up and down. He leaned forward and slowly kissed me. "I love you." He whispered.

I felt him stroke deeper and deeper, "I love you too." I murmured into his neck.

Soon I couldn't move fast enough and I felt his arms circle my waist and him start to rise up with each thrust. "You are mine now… forever Stephanie."

I arched my back and felt him kiss down my throat. Licking and nibbling until he reached first one nipple then the other.

I moaned his name as he thrust over and over again, suddenly he rolled until I was lying flat. He braced one knee on the couch and lifted one of my legs to hook on his hip. The new angle had me seeing stars and I watched through half closed eyes as he came down and captured my lips. After a deep and hard kiss, he whispered against my lips, "Cum Babe, cum for me."

And I exploded with my back arching and watched as he followed me a moment later. I felt more then saw him fall gently next to me on the coach. "Babe." He whispered into my hair pulling me close. I was drifting in a sea of bliss and exhaustion and I knew he was even more exhausted then I was.

"Sleep." I murmured as I stroked his chest. I reached over him to grab the blanket off the back of the couch. I pulled it over both of us then snuggled into his chest. "Sleep." I said again even softer. I heard him murmur into my hair then pull me tighter against him.

I drifted off to sleep feeling like the world was right. I was in Ranger's arms and for once I wasn't unsure or confused. I was loved and it felt good….it felt right.