Testicular Fortitude

Kaidan kneeled before the woman who was in obvious pain, the medical scanner on his omni-tool active. Her husband looked defensive.

"She's fine," the older man insisted. "She just…needs to accept things."

"She's not suffering from any type of injury, Commander," Kaidan confirmed, looking back to meet Shepard's worried gaze. Her odd-colored eyes bored into his. "No reading of anything abnormal, ma'am."

The Commander nodded once. This mission was fucked from the beginning.

Should have gotten here sooner. Damn Saren. What the hell is here that is so damned important? Is it another beacon?

The thought brought her very little comfort, and with a frustrated grunt, Shepard made her way out of the freighter, irritated that things were going so… She stopped and turned, eying her hodgepodge shore party. The mixed ground team was right on her heels. She quickly made a decision, eying each of them, weighing their strengths.

It was the only way.

"Lieutenant."

Alenko was there, taking a step forward, ready to do her bidding. Dependable. "Ma'am?"

"Wrex and Tali are going with me to the main encampment," she told him, and his eyebrows shot up. "You, Garrus and Williams, get the colony up running again. They need food, water and power."

"You—only the three of you?" he asked, his mouth a hard line of concern.

She nodded. "These people need help, Kaidan."

Kaidan regarded her a moment, a little unnerved that she'd addressed him by his first name in front of the others. "Agreed, ma'am." She didn't think he was questioning her, did she? "I'm not disagreeing with your orders, Commander. I'm only concerned—" He tapped a finger to his helmet.

It was her turn to regard him. Her voice was calm. "It takes more than a little amp to bring me down, Lieutenant."

"I have no doubt, ma'am. At least take a few marines with you."

She shook her head. "I'm not losing anyone else, Alenko." Her voice was firm.

Kinetic barriers were designed to automatically intensify when they came into contact with a projectile that surpassed a certain speed. When Kaidan's shields came on and he felt the impact of a slug against the Scorpion armor, he didn't have time to mentally curse himself for not installing the shielding mod that was still in his locker. He didn't have time to do anything but react when his mind registered the fact that he was under fire. It happened in a split second. One moment, he, Williams and Garrus were lugging the Alpha Varren's carcass out of the sewers, the next they were dodging mass accelerated rounds.

"Protect the Heart of the Colony!"

Kaidan reacted as he had been trained to and had been doing for the last sixteen years: automatically, forcing the nodules of his mutated nervous system to react and enforce his hardsuit's shielding. Right foot over left, right hand thrust and then across. Glowing in unnatural dark energy, his other hand already held his Kessler.

Another slug bit into his shields as he dove for cover, pressing Williams and Garrus back behind the wall. The slug didn't make it past his barrier.

"The colonists are shooting at us!" Garrus shouted his two-tone voice incredulous.

A million questions surfaced as Kaidan thought of what to do. He pressed Williams closer to Garrus, heedless of her reaction to the proximity to the turian, as a round ricocheted off the wall near his helmeted head.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded. Yeah. That pretty much summed up most of his questions. Now, finding an answer was the problem.

"Do we take them down?" Garrus asked, trading one rifle for the other.

"Oh, yeah," Williams retorted vehemently, getting in the turian's face, "you would enjoy that wouldn't you, turian?"

Garrus blinked his tiny eyes at her, developing what appeared to be a baffled expression, his mandibles flaring. "They're shooting at you too, Gunnery Chief Williams."

His point was brought home by one especially zealous colonist who didn't let up on the firing mechanism of her pistol. "Kill them!"

"I have no idea, what the hell is going," Kaidan called out over the din of weapons fire, "but fall back. We're not taking on these people. There's got to be an explanation."

"But—" Garrus began.

"I gave an order, Garrus," Kaidan told him. "I'm in charge while the Commander's at the main encampment. Like it or not, we're heading to the tower. Complain to her when she gets back."

"If we make it that long," Williams murmured. She gazed at him. "Should we even try for the ship, sir?"

He shook his head. "I'm not risking our lives either, Williams."

"Normandy to Shore Party," Joker's voice cut across the comms, "Alenko, we've got trouble."

"Shore Party here," Kaidan acknowledged as they slowly inched away from the entryway, keeping down away from the slugs that were slamming into the building.

"Someone's beating on the airlock, Alenko," Joker announced.

"Uh." Kaidan's mind raced. The colonists were attacking the ship? "Don't let 'em in. Lock it down and sit tight. Have you been able to reach the Commander?"

"Negative. Whatever's blocking the transmissions is still in place."

Kaidan gestured for his teammates to keep moving. "Keep trying."

"Yes, sir. Watch your six, Alenko. Normandy out."

"Well, that was productive," Williams commented dryly, a small smile gracing her lips. His eyes cut to hers just as the color drained from her face, her eyes widening a fraction. Without prompting, she grabbed Kaidan by the arm and pulled him closer. "Get down!"

The shoulder injury from the geth hopper's slugs the day before tore open against the medi-gel holding it, fire and ice shooting across Kaidan's shoulder and down his arm. Williams, oblivious of Kaidan's injury, slung him into Garrus and opened fire on whatever was standing in Kaidan's previous position. Whatever it was, moaned as the sound of sledgehammer rounds tearing flesh hit Kaidan's ears. He turned just in time to see it fall.

"What the hell was that?" Garrus asked, the flanging of his voice more evident with alarm.

A humanoid with wrinkled translucent flesh lay oozing dark blood. Its mouth was agape, seeping a black tar-like substance. The eyes were lidless. The black fluid also flowed freely from the nearly empty sockets. The face was mottled and the entire creature appeared to be decaying. Bile rose in Kaidan's throat at the sight and the stench. My God. This… was worse than turnips. It was more like—

"Normandy to Shore Party!" Joker sounded desperate. "Shore Party! Come in!"

Kaidan blinked, swallowing. "Alenko here." He shook his head. There had to be some way to get the smell out. He couldn't afford to get a migraine now. Williams and Garrus needed him.

"There are zombies!" Kaidan nearly laughed at the tone of the pilot's voice.

"'Zombies?'" Garrus asked, "what are—"

"Say again?" Kaidan inquired as Williams nudged the dead creature with the toe of her boot. The tip of her white boot came back with black ooze, and she made a face.

"There are zombies outside the ship." Joker sounded just as incredulous as he did before. "It's like some damn horror vid. I can't reach the Commander. Pressly agrees with the lockdown. Where are you?"

"Keep trying to contact the Commander," Kaidan ordered then looked at Williams and Garrus. "We're going to hunker down in the tower. Keep the ship on lockdown. Have the Commander comm. us when she gets back."

"I knew these colonists were acting weird," Ash told them as they raced up the stairs. She knocked one of the zombie-like creatures down the stairs. It tumbled, knocking down several more in the process. God, these things are creepy.

"What's wrong with your people, Fai Dan?" Ash had questioned at one point. They had just gotten done taking out geth in the sewer and turning on the water, the sun was setting on the first day. "They're acting really fucking weird."

Fai Dan had only looked at her. "We have been through much, Chief Williams."

Kaidan had put a stop to the conversation, but not before his security chief, Arcelia, had her piece. "Where were you anyway?"

"We had no idea—"

"Chief, it's late," Kaidan had interrupted. He looked at Fai Dan. "We weren't able to find the Alpha Varren today; we'll try again tomorrow. We have enough rations for your people for tonight, Fai Dan. Will that do?"

"Check with Davin Reynolds," was all Fai Dan had said.

Kaidan had all but dragged Chief away, latching on to her arm like she were a child under his care instead of the capable marine he knew her to be. This mission was taking its toll on all of them. Even Garrus had been pissy with him that day.

"I can't believe she blames us!" Ash had blurted.

He looked down at her, finally releasing her arm. "Let's try to be a little more diplomatic, Williams."

"But—"

"Wasn't a request. Take Garrus and get back to the ship. Tell Pressly to assemble the quartermaster and Burns. I'll be there shortly." He had turned and stalked off, leaving Ash to carry out his orders. When he had arrived back at the ship Pressly, Quartermaster Livens and Req. Officer Burns were waiting for him in the Comm. Room. Together they had gathered the necessary rations and water and had gone out to deliver them to Reynolds.

Now here they were coming back with a power cell and the carcass of the Alpha Varren and the colonists were attacking them. With mother fucking zombies. What the hell?

Ash growled as she changed weapons. A shot gun would serve her best.

"Fall back," Alenko ordered. "At least we won't have to worry about these things flanking us."

"We'll have our backs to the wall," Garrus argued.

"Don't question my orders, Garrus," the Lieutenant said heatedly, firing a few shots in the face of the creeper that was about to spew green vomit on him. "You could get us all killed. Now let's go."

Tali did a little dance when the cargo bay doors snapped the claws holding the geth ship in place. It was a pleasing sound as it fell to its doom.

"This was my kind of mission," Wrex proclaimed with what appeared to be a smile across his weathered, scaly face, "Kill a bunch of geth and end with a huge crash."

"Thought you might enjoy this more than patching up a colony," Shepard told him with a smile. She turned to Tali, shouldering her shot gun. "Tali, can you hack that geth terminal while we're waiting for the comms to realign?"

Tali snorted indelicately. "With my eyes closed." She was already making her way towards the familiar-looking device.

"Don't show off," Shepard told her. "I want to know what their next move is."

The quarian said nothing, powering up her omni-tool and loading the specially designed OSD into the drive. The terminal was an average decrypt, nothing hard. The OSD did its job well and in a matter of seconds, the terminal was open and squawking at her. A chill ran down her spine as the geth codes passed over her retinas. She swore in her native tongue.

"Commander, this—the geth… they're—"

"I repeat, Normandy to Shore Party, are you reading?" Joker's voice cut across the comms suddenly as their hardsuits' systems finally realigned themselves after the jamming from the geth ship was cut off. "Come on, Commander, talk to me!"

Shepard blinked, a smile forming on her lips. It was good to hear Joker's voice. Although it sounded strained. "Is that you, Joker? What's going on over there?"

She stood motionless in the middle of the room, too shocked at his next words. "We're in lockdown here, Commander. Something happened to the colonists." Shepard knew immediately what was going on. The Thorian was using the colonists. And Alenko, Williams and Garrus had been exposed to the spores. "They're banging on the hull, trying to claw their way into the ship. They're freaking out!"

"Hold your position," she told him, her mind reeling. ExoGeni had a lot to answer for. Starting with Lizbeth Baynham. "They can't do any real damage. Where's Alenko's team?"

"Not here, Commander," Joker reported and Shepard was already moving, her two alien teammates on her heels. "The colonists opened fire on them half an hour ago. They're hunkered down in the tower."

Shepard cursed, picked up speed. "Hold your position," she repeated. "We're on our way."

Lizbeth Baynham stood and rushed down the ramp to her mother. "Get away from her, you son of bitch!"

The scientist surged towards where Ethan Jeong and his security team were holding the elder Baynham.

"Damn it," Shepard swore. Her copper eyes cut to Wrex's blood-red ones. She shook her head at him when he gestured with his shot gun.

"Come out where I can see you!" Jeong ordered. "All of you!"

Wrex gave a gruff laugh as Shepard stood, shooting him a cheeky grin back. So that didn't work. There were other ways to take care of bean counters.

"Shepard," Jeong murmured. "Damn it." The Commander strolled down the ramp, Tali and Wrex following suit. "I knew it was too much to hope the geth would kill you."

Damn bean counter.

"Lieutenant Alenko, do you copy?"

Kaidan was never more thrilled to hear Shepard's silvery voice in his ear. "Aye, Commander."

"What's your twenty?"

"Zhu's Hope tower, ma'am." He looked over at Williams. The chief looked as relieved as he felt. "Garrus and the Chief are with me. Orders, Commander?"

"Make your way down, Lieutenant," she commanded. "Rendezvous with us at the elevator. We'll be there in five."

"Aye, aye, ma'am." He looked at Williams and Garrus as they added heat sinks to their weapons. "What about the colonists, Commander?"

"Don't hurt them. They're being controlled by spores of some kind of plant ExoGeni was studying. They're the control group."

"Uh," was the most intelligent thing he could think to utter. Control group? Spores? Human experimentation? He thought Conatix was bad. He shook off the anger that abruptly made his stomach sour.

"We've been with the colonists for a day and a half!" Williams cried suddenly as the implications sank in. "Are we in danger, ma'am?"

The Commander's voice was bleak. "I don't know, Williams. Any signs of wanting to attack me if I go after the Thorian?"

"The what?" Garrus asked.

"The Thorian," Shepard said, "the life form. It's old. And it probably was here when the Protheans were. Look, just meet us at the elevator."

The group of three did as told, picking their way past the bodies of the Thorian's thralls as they lay decaying on the stairs from their earlier attack.

"The old growth," Garrus remarked unexpectedly as they rounded the stairwell.

Williams nodded. "Don't listen to it, turian. I'll put a round through your head if you do. It's as good as dead."

Garrus was silent. Kaidan didn't think that was a good thing. He didn't want to think about the Turian Agent turning on them. Not in battle. Not ever. Garrus was a hothead when it came to following orders, but the turian was also good at what he did. He was an asset to their team.

And Ash had already made clear her intentions if Garrus were to turn. Kaidan didn't think he would be able to stop her, orders or no.

Kaidan started at that. When had Williams become Ash in his mind? He shook it off. Now was not the time. The sound of gun fire caught his attention.

Shepard had stepped off the elevator and more colonists had attacked her and her team. She was relieved to see Alenko, Williams and Garrus round the corner from the stairs.

"I've got ten gas grenades," she told them even as they ducked for cover as the colonists resumed their assault. "It'll neutralize them, but not hurt them." She studied Garrus a moment. He was looking around oddly, his beady gray eyes glassy. "Garrus, you okay?"

"I—I—No, Commander," he admitted, shook his head. "There's—there's pain."

Damn it. "Get back to the ship, disarm and report to Chakwas," she ordered immediately, handing off a grenade to the krogan. "Wrex, go with. Use this if you have to. No slugs."

"Damn, Shepard, you take the fun out of everything," the krogan grumbled.

"Creepers," Williams said evenly as Betty Bitchbox announced their arrival on the Normandy, and they went through D-Con. She gritted her teeth and looked ready to throttle him. This argument had been going on for a day and a half now. Her new armor was covered in black and green goop and spattered with gore from one of the colonists that Kaidan had been forced to shoot as they were going for the damned Thorian. Even though he had aimed for a non-vital part, he couldn't remember feeling so guilty. He had been forced to shoot a civilian. Being hit with a slug going relativistic speeds was enough to splatter anything—no matter that it was only the man's arm.

As D-Con continued around the four teammates, Kaidan felt prickly all over, even under his armor. As always when they went through the process, he felt the need to strip and scratch. When in doubt, burn the fuckers out, he thought morbidly even as he argued with Williams.

"But they don't creep." The Lieutenant was of the mind that it took more than two legs to "creep". And he was just tired and irritated enough with the situation to argue his point. Williams was of the mind that they were "creepy". It didn't justify their name.

"Creepers," she insisted as Betty told everyone that XO Pressly stood relieved and another itching sensation came over him as the UV light passed over him yet again. He hated D-Con almost as much as turnips.

Hell, he hated everything right now.

Turnips. The words "creep", "creeping", "creeper", and "creepy". Williams. Guns. Varren. Blood. Green. Childbirth. Vegetables. Wrex. D-Con. Gas Bags. Bio-amps. Omni-tools. Joker.

Turnips.

Hated everything.

He frowned down at her. "What the hell is wrong with 'zombies'?" he finally asked, exasperated. The Thorian's thralls looked like something out of a zombie vid. They smelled like rotten vegetables ruminating in pickle juice. Yeah. It would be a while before Kaidan ate anything green. The thought of food made him want to puke. And he really wanted to blow his nose hoping that it would get the smell out. He was certain that the Thorian's juice—or whatever the fuck that was—and the exploding thralls' black goop had gotten stuck in his nose hairs. Even D-Con wasn't burning that out.

"Creepers," Shepard intoned apparently fed up with her subordinates. Her tone brooked no argument.

He bit the inside of his cheek as she saucily grinned at him over her shoulder where she stood in beside Tali.

"Yes, ma'am," he relinquished. He needed to blow his nose, a hot shower and at least twelve hours sleep. Both women were getting on his nerves, and snapping at his commanding officer would probably land him in the brig right now. She was just as irritable as he was. Snapping at Williams would probably land a knee to his groin and that was just as bad as getting sent to the brig, armor or no. The idea itself made him nauseous.

So he allowed the conversation to lapse as he absently stared at pattern on the back of Tali's head and thought back on the last three days. The Thorian, the old growth… It was older than anything he had ever seen. And now Shepard had the information they needed to interpret at least some of the information from the Eden Prime Beacon.

"Are we going to check out the Maroon Sea, Shepard?" Tali asked as the Normandy's airlock opened and Kaidan snapped back to the present. "I don't think any kind of samples from this place would be necessarily a 'good' thing. Saren takes priority, but…" She trailed off. "What happened to these people, I wouldn't wish on anyone."

Shepard shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt." Gaining the Cipher was taking its toll on her. Dark circles rimmed her eyes. Kaidan was certain that she hadn't gotten much sleep while they had been separated for a day and a half. Her next few sentences proved it. "We'll see what's next after the debriefing. I just want some sleep right now. Debrief in forty-five minutes, ladies and gentleman. Williams, Alenko, mission reports in thirty." She turned towards the bridge. "Joker, get us the hell out of here. Geo-sync until we figure out where we're headed."

Joker responded with a whole-hearted, "You got it."