Starr leaned against the side of a building and tried to slow her breathing and her heart rate. Memories of earlier in the day filled her mind as she decided to get out of the house somehow and find out more about the town.
She had prepared the tea tray for Hope, Marty, and the doll. After she had set the tray down, she had moved to hand Marty the pot of tea and Hope the pitcher of milk. Hope hadn't been able to manage the heavy pitcher and it had spilled all over Marty. Marty had started sobbing, knowing that Patrick might lock her in the guest room as punishment. Starr had suggested that if Marty gave her a few pounds that she could buy more milk and wash the clothes before dinner. Starr wasn't sure what she was going to accomplish in town, but getting some fresh air and learning the town seemed like a first step. She had found the store Cole said delivered their groceries. She had been able to put the milk on the family's account. Starr had decided to keep the money in her pocket. It wouldn't get her far, but it was a start. She had chatted a bit with the clerk, but she hadn't had an instinct if the gossipy clerk was someone she could trust. She had gotten a shock when she walked out of the store and saw Kelly, Brody, and Gigi. She wanted to run to them, but who was watching? Starr wanted to kick herself for not bringing Hope with her. If she had her daughter, she would have run to them without any other thought. Her thoughts spun in circles how to find them again and how to go get Hope? Starr wished she had a way to get a phone. Patrick refused to have a landline in the house. She wasn't sure what he did with his at night, but she knew he locked Cole's in a safe so as to not tempt her to be "unruly" while Cole was stoned and he couldn't be watching her himself. With a phone, she could try to find which hotel they were staying. Why hadn't she brought Hope with her?
Tears threatened as the hopelessness of her situation sank in her heart. Starr knocked her head against the wall in frustration. The pain cleared her thoughts.
What would Dorian think of her crying in an alley? Dorian would find a way if she had to lie or cheat or steal or kill. Dorian, in that mood, had always made Starr nervous, but Dorian always landed on her feet with her family around her, usually with a handsome man. Starr would do anything to be surrounded by the Cramer women again – including Hope. Hope would know that she was a Cramer woman and not a Thornhart. The Cramers may have their issues, but they had never tried to overthrow a country!
Starr wiped her face with her sleeve and straightened her back. She still didn't know what she was going to do, but she would find a way.
(Note: Every time, I want to type Mimi instead of Gigi, who Farrah Fath played on Days. The names are very similar!)