Asari Slurpies

This ended up going in a different direction than originally intended, but I liked the chapter title too much to change it. heh

The transit VI had taken one look at them through whatever sensor sensed them and stated that the excess of body fluids was not permitted on the transit and had not allowed them to get on the vehicle. Now, Kaidan, who was bloody, beaten, nursing a migraine and fighting hard not to wretch, was stuck in an elevator heading towards the Presidium with a pissed off commanding officer, a rather smug krogan, two hanar and a volus. It didn't help matters that the "negotiations" in the market between Morlan, the commander and a krogan blackmailer went south just as soon as Wrex had shown up.

Not that it wasn't already heading in that direction. Kaidan admired Shepard's direct approach to everything, but sweet-talking a krogan merc who wanted money or a fight (with a really doubtful "or") was a little beyond her abilities. No way in hell would he ever tell her that. To tell Commander Shepard that she couldn't do something was just asking for trouble. He'd known the woman a month and had that vibe by day one. What a woman.

Kaidan had never expected to fight a krogan on his day off. He especially never expected to fight an armored krogan unarmored on his day off. It was just his good fortune that the Lieutenant had reflexively tucked his talon into his boot. He figured had he not, then he would have died when the krogan had charged him like a rhino. Kaidan had seen first hand what unarmored sentients looked like after being mowed over by krogan mercs, and it wasn't pretty. Thank God for knives, he thought through the throbbing of his head.

Kinetic barriers were designed to deflect particles travelling relativistic speeds. Not a slow human with a knife. Years of hand-to-hand combat experience had paid off when Kaidan had sliced through the scaly hide of the merc as he charged past, slashing the jugular, and dowsing the Lieutenant and his commanding officer in warm orange blood.

The memory made him want to gag. Normally, such things could be compartmentalized and handled later. At the moment though, the thought of blood—especially being covered in it—did nothing to help him not want to puke. Colors danced and weaved before his eyes. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. This was lucky? Maybe…maybe being crazy would have been better.

He quickly shot that idea out the airlock. No way in hell. The very thought made him shudder. I cannot be crazy. No. No. There's nothing worse. Kaidan breathed a deep cleansing breath, shutting his eyes against the dim lights of the elevator as he thought back to the last half hour.

Dr. Michel had given the Commander a discount on mods and supplies for the Normandy and had offered him free treatment for his migraine after the Commander had explained why they were beaten, bloody and covered in krogan blood.

When the doctor had pressed, Shepard had looked at her and told her the blunt truth. "He's dead. You won't have any more trouble from that one."

"Oh," the doctor had said, wide eyed. "I didn't mean for anyone to get killed."

Shepard had shrugged as if she killed blackmailers on a daily basis. "Shit happens. The thug said he worked for a man named Banes. Sound familiar?"

"Banes?" Dr. Michel had looked thoughtful a moment. "I wonder if he means Armistan Banes. We worked together a long time ago."

"What can you tell me about him?"

"Last I heard the Alliance Military had contracted him to do some research in the Traverse."

Kaidan had spoken up then. "I wonder if the Captain knows him."

Shepard had nodded and replied, "We'll see what the Captain can tell us when we go speak with Udina." Then she had worked out the deal to get medi-gel for their immediate injuries, discounts and Kaidan's happy pills.

And, yeah, now that the meds had kicked in, he was feeling pretty good. The elevator music even had a little pep to it. Too bad the meds hadn't fully taken away the pain. It radiated from the top of his skull, skulked around his implant and throbbed across the back of his head in widening arcs of agony. But he felt good about it.

Yeah. A painful happy.

He blinked a few times, tracers and auras shrouding his vision. His head not only hurt but it felt like it was going to fall off his shoulders. Pain killers were supposed to kill pain. These… weren't doing a damn thing. Except make him feel weird and dizzy and weird and… What the hell were those?

He must have groaned or grunted or made some kind of sound because Shepard's coppery eyes were on him—again. He felt good about that too. She'd gazed at him several times during the walk from the Wards to the elevator. He silently congratulated himself on knowing when she was looking at him.

Of course it helped that he was standing there staring right at her with his mouth open. He wondered absently when he had last remembered to swallow. Drooling in front of his commanding officer wouldn't bode well for his six month Eval. It also helped that the commander was surrounded by a purple and gold aura—courtesy of his current migraine—and whenever she shifted, so did the color. Throwing up on her boots wouldn't help his six month Eval either, he reminded himself, snapping his mouth closed and swallowing the bile.

His eyes drooped a bit. I want to throw up.

"You look rough," she commented, stepping closer as the two hanar and the volus exited the elevator. He hadn't even realized the elevator had stopped.

Rough? He wondered and looked down at his torn and bloodied standard issue uniform. Oh. Kaidan blinked. They were in a fight.

"With a krogan," she supplied, a wry smile twisting her lips—her bottom lip split and swollen from where the krogan had grazed her mouth with his fist. Did she just—

"Did I say that out loud?" he questioned around cotton-mouth, suddenly wondering what else had slipped out.

Shepard gazed at him, studying his eyes, his face. "Dr. Michel said those pills would knock you for a loop. She didn't say anything about memory loss."

"I remember the fight, ma'am," Kaidan assured her, the gory details vivid in his mind's eye. "Consider my loop knocked."

From beside them, Wrex chuckled. "Well, well, the lieutenant got knocked up." He clapped Shepard on the back. "Let's see how well those meds the good doctor put him on react to a good pint of ale. Might have another good fight." He looked eager—more so than usual.

Shepard's eyes cut to the lone krogan battle master as they exited the elevator before the doors shut. "We don't need a fight in the Embassy Lounge, Wrex" she told him as though explaining it to a small child. "I wasn't expecting the one in the markets. And as much as I appreciated you being there, showing up and spouting off about that thug's parentage did not help us."

"At all," Kaidan added.

"The Lounge?" Wrex sounded sorely disappointed, but his body language was relaxed as he completely ignored the chiding from the two humans. His mind was only on two things—fighting and drinking. "All they have is that nasty turian grog… or asari slurpies." Were it possible for a krogan to shudder, then that's what Wrex did. Kaidan couldn't be sure though. "You want good ale: go to the Den or one of the casinos. Flux usually stocks some of the best."

"'Asari slurpies?'" Kaidan asked, amused and dismayed at the same time.

Wrex shrugged. "Fermented nectar of some kind of fruit on some kind of tree on some planet of theirs."

Shepard nodded. "Descriptive."

"You humans and your descriptions," Wrex said with a shake of his head. "Ask a bartender if you want the name of the damn fruit and tree and nectar. Damn fruity cocktail if you ask me. The only good thing to come out of an asari is a commando." He nodded to himself. "Damn good fight," he said absently. "Damn good."

"Shepard, you'd better have a good explanation for—" Udina broke off his rant when he actually got a good look at humanity's first Spectre. The woman was covered in what looked to be orange film; her clothing was mussed; and she had a swollen lip and a gash on the side of her face held together with medi-gel. Her detail commander looked worse.

And she had brought that krogan, Urdnot Wrex with her. The Ambassador sighed. This meeting will go well, he thought sardonically.

"Do I want to know?" he questioned.

"Probably not," Shepard told him. She was silent a moment before speaking again. "I thought word travelled faster. You should have already heard about it by now."

The Ambassador frowned. "The shopkeeper from 'Morlan's Famous Shop' has issued a complaint."

"The shopkeeper named Morlan, a krogan merc, and someone named Banes were blackmailing Dr. Chloe Michel in Tayseri Ward," the Commander replied smoothly standing at ease as she delivered her report. "I was unable to convince the krogan to stop, and he attacked us. Morlan did not provide any useful information once the krogan was subdued."

"Subdued? Shepard, we have a dead krogan mercenary, a civilian complaint and several weapons violations filed against the Embassy. Subdued." Udina crossed his arms and shook his head. "File an official report when you get back on duty," he ordered. "Captain Anderson can handle the details of that."

"Yes, sir. You wanted to speak with me?"

"I read your reports on Feros," he told her, sitting down at his desk and holding up the data pad with her report. He frowned slightly when she and her lieutenant sat across from him. Did they know how much those chairs cost the Alliance? He frowned mightier when their krogan comrade made his way toward the balcony. "If we had known anything about the Thorian, ExoGeni would have never been given the permits to start a colony there. Thank God the colony survived. We can't afford to have too many failures out in the Traverse. It's one of our major expansion regions."

Expansion? Shepard thought, anger swelling, who the hell does he think he is? Is that all he cares about?

"You don't give a damn about the colonists," she growled the accusation before she could stop herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alenko look at her worriedly. "It's all just politics to you, isn't it?"

"We can't all be the hero that comes riding in to save the day, Commander," Udina told her, his voice clipped. "But we each serve humanity in our own way."

Shepard rolled her eyes. She was out there fighting. Kahoku had lost men to a damn trap on Edolus, and those colonists on Feros—that damn corporation experimented on those colonists. They had been there trying to make a better life for themselves. Shepard gritted her teeth.

"You can't escape interstellar politics, Shepard," the Ambassador continued unaware of Shepard's anger. "It's part of the bigger picture. And some of it isn't pretty."

"Do you have any idea what we were up against? What we had to do to survive?" she questioned, leaning forward.

"As I said," Udina replied coolly, "I read your reports."

The Commander stood and Kaidan followed. He was beginning to understand why Shepard stayed out of politics. It was so damn frustrating. Kaidan was relieved that Captain Anderson had walked in on the conversation.

"Just ignore him," the Captain told them as Udina stalked off in a huff. "The Ambassador is a little bitter sometimes. Comes with the job."

Shepard nodded as he handed her a data pad. She frowned. "This isn't a good idea, Anderson," she told him quietly.

"You need to get off that rock and move your ass here. There are more benefits to having a centrally located base of operations."

She sighed. "I'll look into it." She didn't look pleased. "What do you know about Armistan Banes?"

Captain Anderson stood riveted to his spot for a moment. "Where the hell did you hear that name?" he demanded before thinking better of it. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

"So you know him?" Kaidan inquired.

"Forget about Banes," the Londoner told them swiping at the air with his hand. "Banes is dead."

Shepard processed this information calmly then responded, "The thugs we ran into seemed to think he was alive."

Anderson shrugged. "We've been keeping it under wraps. He was involved in some top secret research for the Alliance out in the Traverse. His body turned up a few weeks before the Eden Prime incident."

Incident? Kaidan wondered, but kept his mouth shut.

"Admiral Kahoku sent a team of Ns to search for clues near where the body was found. They've been missing for weeks."

"We found them," Shepard told him grimly. "They were killed by a thresher maw on Edolus. It, it was a trap." She explained the mission and the Alliance beacon as she called up her report using her Omni-tool and uploaded it to the Captain's via LinkCom.

Anderson reacted in shock as he listened. "My God, Shepard. Did you lose anyone?" He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder even as she shook her head in the negative. Kaidan felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. He took deep breaths to keep from yelling at Captain Anderson.

"No, sir," she announced, "My team did well. Traumatized but otherwise unharmed."

"You must be proud."

The Commander gave a small nod as Anderson removed his hand. "Where can I find the Admiral? Have you seen him around? I should tell him about his team."

"He's gone home for the day," the Captain told her. "Try back tomorrow morning around oh-nine-hundred. He's been trying to get the Ambassador persuade the Council to look into the disappearance using C-Sec or possibly a Spectre." He sounded defeated. "I've already contacted MPAU. They haven't turned up anything. The Admiral's a stubborn old buzzard. You know he's just about as fond of interstellar politics as you are, Shepard. It's a wonder he made Full Bird."

He and Shepard shared a smile. Kaidan shifted uncomfortably.

"Has MPAU even completed the Eden Prime report yet, sir?" he asked. The Military Police Accident Unit was notorious for being slow in their accident investigations.

The Captain shook his head, his eyes coming to rest on Kaidan's face. "It'll be months before I'll see it. Provided it isn't classified, I'll make sure you two have a copy when it comes out."

"I'm a Spectre now, Anderson," Shepard told him with a wry grin. "All I have to do is ask."

The Captain glared at her. "You damn well better ask nicely then."