Chapter 29

Stephanie slid forward an inch as the door behind her was pushed in, she pushed back on instinct and heard Ranger curse as she crushed his finger in the door jam. She sat up and wiped the drool that was falling down her cheek from laying sideways on the floor. She began to wipe her eyes and then everything came flooding back to her, yesterday sucked.

She looked over to the window, evidently it was still night because her windows were black.

"Babe, can I come in?" She heard Ranger ask softly.

She quickly looked around until she saw the dreaded pregnancy test…. sitting there mocking her. She grabbed it and shoved it in her purse, then shoved the purse in the table next to the door. She slowly stood up and turned to the door, resting her forehead on it.

"What do you want Ranger, its late." She whispered.

She heard Ranger touch the door, "Technically its early." He said back. When she didn't say anything back he sighed, "I came to grovel."

She took a deep breath then slowly opened the door open a few inches. She stood in front of it but looked out to see him wearing the same outfit as earlier. Honestly he looked like shit, his face drawn and tired, even his posture was slumped.

She looked into his eyes, "Grovel for what?" She asked him softly.

He tilted his head, "Going to make this heard on me aren't you?"

She raised an eyebrow and waited.

He looked up and closed his eyes for a moment, "For not talking to you. Today was a long day and when I started getting those phone calls about you kissing and hugging another man, I lost my mind… At first no one told me it was even Joe. So I had this image of you kissing some guy, hell that stupid fucking doctor. Then someone said it was Joe, and I had this… fear. This fear that you were doing to me what you had done to him. Stephanie we kissed, we made love while you were with him." Ranger looked at her, "We need to talk about this, and our boundaries. I should have trusted you, but I also need to know we are on the same page."

She gave him a small nod, then opened the door more so he could come in. She watched as he walked over to the couch and sat down heavily. As he tilted his head back on the couch she walked over to sit on the chair, pulling her legs up under her. She waited until he opened his eyes back up and looked over at her, "You are right… and wrong." She murmured.

She sighed and grabbed the blanket off the chair and pulled it over her, she was so cold. "When Joe and I were doing the off and on thing, every single month….no week…. Fuck sometimes even days. It may have looked like I was cheating on Joe, but every kiss… touch that you and I shared. Those were never while I was Joe's quote girlfriend. I would not have done that to him. However, it was still wrong, I know that now because," She paused wanting to know she had his attention. "I would not do that to you, even if we were on pause or break or whatever. But I think that's because there is a difference between you and Joe."

She watched him lean forward and clasp his hands together and look at her with deep concentration, "With Joe and I, I think we were always more friends than anything else… we could never really be more then that because we were not meant to be together. We were often friends with benefits, we often used each other to fill a gap… but the gap was never fully filled." She looked up at Ranger, "I love Joe, I always have and I always will." She gave a soft smile when she saw him tense up. "Joe was a friend I needed when I had no one, he become like family." She looked right into his eyes, "But the love I have for you, its not the same thing. The love I feel for you is devastating, it fills every hole and gap and overflows. With you I feel safe and like no matter what, everything will be ok."

She sighed and leaned her head back now, "When I kissed you while I was on and off with Joe, it felt like coming home. Like for one small second I had what I wanted, then you left and I tried to fill the holes again. When I am with you, the thought of kissing anyone else…" She looked down at him again, "It would be like hurting the only thing that matters. You are my everything now, so no matter what stupid shit you say I still love you and come back to you. I don't run."

He raised his eyebrows at her, "You ran this afternoon." He snarked at her.

She raised an eyebrow back, "No, I temporarily retreated. So we could both take a moment to calm down, to process what was going on. I hate fighting with you, it tilts my entire world upside down. I knew if I stayed and we fought we might both say stuff we couldn't take back…. plus, I was tired and I just wanted to sleep."

He looked over at the door, "Evidently because you fell asleep on the floor by the door."

She gave a shrug, "I came home, sat in the first place I was and had a good cry."

She watched as Ranger wiped his hands across his face, "I didn't want to make you cry." He looked at her. "Do you want to know why I pushed you away for so long?"

When she nodded at him, he took a deep breath and said, "Fear. I was so afraid of letting you matter. So I told myself you were a quick kiss, a quick lay. Then I found myself coming at night to just watch you sleep, and I knew… I was lost." He shook his head at her and gave a half smile, "I would not be able to live without you. But I still had this fear of losing you to people who would want to hurt me, to losing you period. How could I let you all the way in when I knew that if you were inside I would die without you." At this point he gave a chuckle, "But it was too late. That day I thought you were hurt at Point pleasant, when we couldn't find you. I knew it was to late, I had to have you." He stood up and walked over to kneel in front of her, "Now my biggest fear…. Is you realizing that I am not good enough for you, that you leave me, and I will be lost in the darkness. Today was like every fear popping up at once."

Stephanie looked at him for a moment before lifting her hand to brush it down his cheek and smiled when he leaned into it, "Well I guess we have the same fears then." She saw the question in his eyes so she went on, "My biggest fear is you realizing that I am not good enough for you."

"What a pair we make." He whispered.

"Yep… I love you so much." She whispered.

He leaned up to capture her lips, after a moment he leaned back again, "I love you, too." He whispered. He sat back on his legs, "I am not ok with you going out to dinner with Joe." When he saw her raise her eyebrows, he quickly went on, "Not because I don't trust you but because I am a man and dinner is a date. So how about a compromise. We seem to be doing ok with those."

He waited for her to nod at him before he continued, "You go to lunch…in a super crowded restaurant…...with your." She watched as he struggled with the word, "Friend." He spat out.

She gave him a grin, "I can do that." She leaned down this time to give him a kiss, "Look at it like a lunch with Lula or Connie, because Joe really is just a friend, nothing more."

"Ya, but you have never kissed them." Ranger grumbled.

She gave him a grin, "How do you know?"

He actually rolled his eyes at her, "Come on, let's go to sleep on your rock that you call a bed." He stood and pulled her up, "I am exhausted and I am sure you are to."

She followed him into the bedroom then walked over to the dresser to pull out some Pj's only to pause in fear when she heard Ranger say, "Bobby told me."

She kept her back to him and tried to clear her throat before replying, "Told you about what?"

Ranger didn't even look up from taking off his weapons, "About your rib." He didn't see her sag in relief.

"I am gonna use the bathroom quick." She said darting into the room and gently as possible closing the door and locking it.

She griped the sink, looking up to see her reflection and the terror in her face, "What am I going to do?" She whispered. She closed her eyes and immediately the image of the pregnancy test popped into her mind. She leaned forward and stared to try to take deep breaths, but after a moment she felt like she was going to pass out. So she sat down on the toilet and started her pep talk, "So people get false positives all the time, I got one with Joe once. So first step is to go to the doctor and get a blood test. No point in freaking out until I know there is actually a b…b… thing." She couldn't bring herself to say baby." She nodded her head to herself, "Yep make a plan, then follow the plan, no worries right."

She jumped up and slid off the toilet and onto the floor when she heard Ranger knock on the door, "Babe are you ok? Been in there a while."

She cleared her throat softly before giving a loud, "Yep…. had to brush my teeth and hair." She shot up and sucked in mouth wash and just swallowed it while throwing off her clothes and pulling on her night shirt and pants. She threw her hair in a messy bun and opened the door less than 60 second after he had knocked. "All yours." She said walking by him to hop in bed.

She climbed in and watched him go in to take his turn, "I am going to lose my mind." She whispered and rolled over to close her eyes. A few minutes later she felt the bed dip as he climbed in after her, pulling her close, "I am sorry." He whispered into her ear.

She gave a soft smile everything else just falling away and turned into his arms, "I am sorry, too. This is going to be hard, but worth it…. I think." She whispered back.

He leaned in a kissed her deeply, "Yes it will be, but you are worth…. everything."

She kissed him back before laying her head on his chest, "Will it ever be easy?" she whispered.

Ranger kissed her hair, "I don't know… not sure I even want easy, I want you and you my beautiful woman, are never easy."

She gave him a slap on the stomach, "Hay."

He pulled her even closer, "But we match because I know that I am not easy either."

His hand drifted to her breast where he gave a squeeze but instead of it turning her on, it hurt. She hid her flinch by rolling over and snuggling back into his arms again, "Not tonight." She whispered.

He gave a chuckle behind her pulling her close agine, "See, it's like we are already married…. denying me sex."

She reached back and slapped him again, "No its really late and we are both tired… remember." She said back softly. "Besides you are on punishment right now."

She waited a moment before she started to drift off before whispering, "I think I am ready to move more stuff over to your apartment if you are ok with that." She knew that was a commitment that he needed from her and she was finally ready to give it.

She had her back to him so she missed his smile, "I think that could be arranged." He whispered into her hair.

She gave a small soft smile, "Think you could handle me forever, cause if I give up my apartment I have nowhere to go…. So you are stuck with me." She trailed off, drifting anyway.

She missed Ranger say back, "I would burn down this building if that meant you would live with me forever."

-/-

When she woke up the next morning she was alone and the room was nice and toasty, Ranger must have turned the heat up for her. She rolled over to see the clock reading 11 am. She slept way in and knowing Ranger he had already been up for hours and hours. However, she finally felt good and rested. She sat up when she heard noise in her kitchen, "Hello?" She called out and smiled when she heard Hector yell back at her. "Get your ass out of bed lazy."

She climbed out and opened the door to see Hector pouring her favorite pasta from Pino's on a dish, "You brought me lunch?" she squealed.

"Well I know that you don't have any food in this hell hole." He said back and pushed her plate towards her.

She sat down and dug in, "So why are you hear anyway?"

Hector gave a shrug, "Double duty, you need a day guard while you are out and I heard you needed help packing some of your shit."

Stephanie gave him a grin, a noddle hanging out of her mouth, "Ranger is not letting me think or change my mind, is he." She said laughing.

Hector raised an eyebrow, "Honestly you moving in permanently makes us all feel better. This place is a security nightmare and it's a hell hole with no hot water and a lot of old people."

Stephanie laughed hysterically, "Hay I like my old people!"

Hector rolled his eyes, "See you like us and old people, you are no judge of character."

She laughed again, then looked over to see boxes by the door, "You really are not messing around."

He just looked at her for a moment, "You pack what you want to, leave what you want. I know Ranger said you were going to keep the apartment for now, until this stuff is over anyway. So it looks like you are still living here."

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "Except everyone knows that I live at Rangeman already."

Hector just shrugged and kept eating, after finishing they both cleaned up and Stephanie decided all she needed right now was some of her clothes and photos, everything else could stay. She would probably end up throwing or giving most of it away anyway.

It took them less than 2 hours to get most of her closet small things packed, and when she looked around she did feel a sadness creep up on her. This was her home for so long, the place she could finally be free, and she really did love her old people. She startled when Hector came up behind her and threw an arm over her shoulder, "Don't think of it as leaving here, think of it as moving to a more crowded place. And you are trading your old people for crazy thug people."

She gave a giggle and laid her head on his shoulder, "Yea, I am excited to move there… to see all of you every day. I am just gonna miss this place." She whispered.

"It's ok to miss things, it means it was a great place. But you can't get new even better places if you stay put." He said as he gave her a tight one-sided hug.

"I know." She whispered. After a moment she cleared her throat, "Alright let's blow this popsicle stand."

She walked over to the last two boxes and went to grab them only to have Hector push her away, "Your rib is still hurt, no carrying stuff."

Stephone grumbled at him, "Bobby has a big mouth."

He looked at her and grinned, "If it feels better we can start your training like we were going to."

He laughed when she quickly shook her head, "Nope so much pain…ahhhhhhh" she over dramatized.

He rolled his eyes, grabbed the boxes and walked to the door, "Close up so we can go."

She walked over and got her purse out of the side table, she quickly pulled out the test and ran to the kitchen. She looked around until she found an old box of cereal and shoved it in there. She was not bringing that back to Rangeman with all the nosy busybodies. They really were like old people.

She made it back to the door right as Hector was coming in, "What are you doing?" He asked.

She gave him a smile, "Saying goodbye." She walked out and pulled the door closed and locked it quick. "All right, let's get donuts on the way home." She grinned up at him, he rolled his eyes.

-/-

Stephanie ran into every single guy when she got back to Rangeman and every signal one heard two things. One that her rib was still hurting so they treated her like glass, and the other was that she was officially moving in.

When she made it to Ranger's office she gave him a look that said, ummm hummm. "So everyone thinks that I am moving in here." She said plopping down in the chair across from his desk.

He leaned back and raised an eyebrow, "You said you wanted to bring more stuff here." He countered.

She gave him a grin, "Yes, I needed some storage. I never said anything about moving."

Ranger picked up a pen and taped it on the desk for a moment, "You said I was stuck with you." He whispered.

"Sure." She said back to him, "Am I stuck with you?" She asked.

He gave her a smile and threw the pen on the desk, he got up and walked around to stand in front of her. He slowly leaned down caging her into the chair. "Forever and ever, may God have mercy on your soul."

She pulled him down by the neck, "It will be a dirty job, but someone has to be stuck with you." She said with a grin.

He pulled her into a deep kiss that only stopped when Tank walked into the office, "My God can't you guys ever stop?" He exclaimed.

Stephanie sat back with a chuckle, "That was my payment for being stuck with him."

"Sure whatever." Tank said rolling his eyes, "I have more work for you to do, another schedule for next week and paper work."

Stephanie grinned, "Sure I can help you tomorrow morning, I have to help Bobby in the afternoon." She said back.

Tank narrowed his eyes, "You said you would help me with all of the paper work…. you promised." He growled.

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "And I will, you big baby, in fact get it all ready and I will take it upstairs and start looking at it tonight."

Tank looked at her for a moment then growled, "Fine but I come before Bobby, you promised me first!" He said like a big baby "Ranger can you come sign a few things in my office so I can give them to Steph right now."

She watched as the two guys walked out and quickly leaned across the desk to grab the picture frame and pulled out the photo that was in it. She was setting it back right as she heard them coming back, making sure it was turned away from the door. She stood and slid the photo in her back pocket and walked over to the door.

"Here." Tank said shoving a pile of papers into her arms, "This is most of it."

"Gee, thanks." She said sarcastically, taking the pile. "I will start it up tonight."

She turned to Range and gave him a smile, "See you upstairs?"

He gave her a nod and a kiss, "At 6 ok?"

"Sure." She said back walking out the door.

She made it to her desk to put all the papers into her bag and was walking to the elevator but she turned the corner and ran into Bobby. She gave him a smile but it fell when he grabbed her and pulled her into the conference room and closed the door.

"Bobby what the heck are you doing?" She asked her eyebrows raising and hands going onto her hips. And her world stopped when he said, "You are a liar, liar pants on fire!"