Between Merle and Carol

Carol walked to her car, which was sitting not very far from Dale's van and opened the trunk. She looked pleased inside.

"Morning, Carol. Nice plans for today?" Dale said from above his van. He was keeping watch.

"Morning, Dale. I was thinking of baking bread today, we still have some meat left from Daryl's hunting yesterday".

"Oh, that would be tasty. You can use my oven".

"No, I think it's better to be economic with the resources of your van. I can cook it on open fire".

"You seem accustomed of living in the wilds" he said friendly.

"Yeah…more or less" Carol said taking one of the flower sachets out of her trunk. She turned and faced Ed, almost dropping it down. She felt her mouth turning dry, a bad feeling going through her stomach. The same one she started feeling the first time he had hit her there and the same one that had never left her until she managed divorcing him.

"Why don't cha tell him who thought you to survive in the wilds and in any case like this?" he mumbled staring empty in her eyes.

"Morning, Ed" Dale called down on him, feeling some kind of tension rising.

"Yes, it was you" Carol said quickly, unwilling.

"You see?" he managed smiling, tacking the sachet from her arms. "You had it good with me. Where you want me to take this?"

She made a sign with her hand towards the fire and cooking place and rubbed her nap as he started walking there. She looked up at Dale, whose eyes seemed a little concerned and then walked after him.

Ed sat the sachet next to the cooking platform Shane and Jim had arranged.

"I remember yo' bread, it was the best I ever eaten".

Carol nodded fast, feeling more and more uncomfortable around him.

"You still remember how to make cheese out of milk?"

"Simple cottage cheese, yes".

"That would be nice".

"If I had milk, for now we are eating squirrels, there's no cow around from what I know".

"You could have taken some pasteurized milk with you, that keeps for months".

"I didn't have time for that" she picked up a pot.

"You've have remembered if y' where with me when y' fled".

Carol tried ignoring him, hoping he would go away. Words would still stop in her throat every time Ed was addressing her.

"Come on, Carol, don't be like that, we could…" he walked to her placing his palms on her shoulders. She felt her whole body tremble in a scared pain, her muscle tensing into a rock. A feeling of nausea came into her mouth.

"Ed, get out of the way, this is the cooking area and we need space" Lori said from behind. "This is if you don't want to help us prepare food" she added jokingly, trying to relax the atmosphere.

He pulled his hands away, still looking at Carol, who was staring at her pot, stiff like a statue. He strolled away and Lori approached Carol.

"Are you ok?" she asked stroking the woman's shoulder.

"Yes, I…I wish I could tell him to just get lost, but my words, my body…it still reacts like…" she sighted, her face relaxing. "I'm still as idiotic as when I was young".

"No, you're not. You managed leaving him and running away from him. But, I guess, whenever you see him, he recalls you of those times. Your body is still…"

"Weak" she shook her head her lips forming a crooked leer. "That would be the word" she sighted and took the pot in her hands.

"What are you cooking?" Lori asked.

"Bread" she replied.

"Oh, yum! In Dale's oven?"

"No, on the fire place, you'll see" she winked and walked to fill her pot with water.

Carol stopped next to the big bottles, picking up one to fill her pot. Ed was not very far from her, still staring at her. She rushed and returned to Lori who was eager to help her knit the bread. Even Carl had the curiosity to see how bread is made and followed the women around for a while. That until he got bored.

Shane made the fire for them to bake the bread.

"Here" Ed approached when he got the opportunity. He placed a box of milk in front of Carol's nose. "Make us some cottage cheese".

"That won't make much and we are too many on camp".

"Didn't mean all o' people around here, but y' and me. Will be better than those underweight squirrels".

Carol looked at him shortly. She shook her head and left. He grabbed her hand and she froze again.

"Don't touch me!" she almost yelled pulling away. "We're a group here. You want cheese only for you, make it yourself" she said and walked away fast, her heart pumping insanely. The others looked at them, curious and surprised. Ed felt vicious seeing so many eyes judging him.

Carol walked back to Lori and Shane rubbing the back of her hand like she was trying to get her skin off.

"Did he hurt you?" Shane asked still looking at Ed.

"No, no…" she whispered embarrassed. She bent down to check on the bread. Lori and Shane exchanged a short look.

"Ya cooking bread?" Carol instantly relaxed as she heard the voice asking her. She looked up at Daryl who had returned earlier. He was smiling down on her. "I got a rabbit this time" he added. "Bet it will taste great with ya bread".

"I'll prepare it, after I'm finished with this" she said, forgetting all about Ed.

"Well, it will burn if ya keep staring like that at me" he joked entertained. "And it won't be the only thing burning around here…" he mumbled as he turned to place the rabbit on the cooking surface.

"You know… we never prepared for this" Lori said to Shane and Carol. "Cooking rabbits from scratch, eating squirrels…"

"We should be happy we have some food for dinner" Shane said comforting.

"Well, I still have to collect those berries, it's my turn today. Carol, would you keep an eye on Carl, please?"

"Sure" she said as Lori left with Shane.

"Need help with that?" Andrea asked approaching Carol who had started taking care of the rabbit

"You know how to deal with it?" Carol asked.

"My dad loved to fish and sometimes he would hunt" Andrea said as they stared preparing the meat.

"You look more like…"

"The city girl?"

"Not that that's a bad thing. You've probably seen more of the world than I ever will. At least the part with the big city".

"You've never left your old town?" Andrea looked shortly at Ed who was walking around, pretending to do something.

"I left my town, I moved around, but never to a big city. Smaller ones. I guess now I think one should see more of the world before settling down".

"You mean Ed by that?"

"Guess Merle made a big fuss the night they arrived".

"Yeah, he kinda did. When did you get divorced?"

"Many years ago".

"And you haven't seen him until now?"

She shook her head.

"To tell you the truth…I think I ran from him. Or his shadow…" she paused looking up into the woods. "Not that he was following me or anything, but in my mind he did. There I am again, talking bad about him, I shouldn't. He is a good man deep inside he just wasn't…I guess raised right".

Andrea snorted amused.

"You're still defending him".

"No, I am not. I just don't think it's right for me to talk bad about him".

"Did he hit you?"

"Why do you think I ran?"

"Then I don't understand why you are still wishing to talk nice about him. I don't understand women that…"

"That stay with their men even after they've been beaten up?"

Andrea nodded quietly.

"It's not easy to get out when you are manipulated. And when you start to think you deserve it, even if you know you don't. You kinda get used to the bad as you do with the good".

"So what made you leave after all?"

Carol remained silent, looking absent minded.

"Good question" she replied as she had finished cleaning the meat.

"I'll go wash, we can start cooking it" Andrea said, walking away.

Carol placed the meat on a plastic platter.

"So you're eager to cook the damn rabbit for him, but you can't make us cottage cheese?" Ed approached her.

"It's for the whole group, which includes you. And there is no us…" she whispered looking down.

"What' you said?" he approached her a little.

"There is no us!" she looked him in the eye and grabbed the platter.

"Oh yeah? You've got divorced from me before the state, but I recall y' swearing in front of the Lord you'll be my wife for the good an' bad" he called after her.

"When did you get so religious?" she said over her shoulder.

"You left without even a spoon in you' pocket, where the fuck did you leave?" he followed her.

She remained silent, trying again to ignore him. He saw Andrea coming back and turned away.

"Here" Carol sat next to Daryl that evening and handed him a plastic bowel. "I kept the top of the crust for you, I know you like it".

"Ya recall that?" he asked surprised taking the bowl with the meat and bread from her hands.

"Well, at least my memory is still good" she joked.

"Yeah, you really recall that past…that well?" he asked her.

"What do we have left in this world if not out pasts? At least the good part of them".

"Don't know…holding on to the past isn't that good for surviving".

"So to what should I hold on now?"

"Ya came alone here? To this camp?"

"I was on my way to Atlanta and got stuck on the way just like everyone else. I met Lori and Shane. That's how I got here. Actually this is how everybody got here. We met each other".

"Where ya've ran away, Carol? After ya and Ed got split up. Why'd you never come to me?"

"Where? I had no idea where you were".

"My folks knew. Everybody in town knew, never made a secret out of it".

Carol looked at the fire.

"I guess I was…"

"You'd feared me?"

"No! I just thought you despise me".

"And I…I guess I was" he shrugged. "But you were m' friend always, I wouldn't have blinked to help ya".

"Do you still despise me?"

He smirked looking at her. She shook his head.

"Ya changed a lot, Carol".

Merle's eyes were wondering from them to Ed. He stood up and approached them.

"Need a word with ya, baby brother" he said and made a sign with his head.

Carol watched them leave. She picked up the empty bowls and went to wash them.

"What' ya need?" Daryl asked as they reached their tents.

"Ya messing up with that woman too much. I get it she was ya high school sweetheart, but…"

"Carol was never my sweetheart" he grunted, interrupting him. "What ya point?"

"Ed's getting a bad tooth for you".

"Ya think I care?"

"Look, I don't care for that fat dickhead more than ya do, but we still need him. He got good food in that tent o' his. And I trust him more than these pampered asses around here. I don't intend for us to stick here much longer. We gonna rob this camp and go our way. Got me?"

Daryl looked cold at his brother.

"Whatever" he mumbled and walked away.

"Hey, you gonna help me with that!" he called after him, but Daryl ignored him, knowing Merle didn't need his approval to get him into something.

Carol decided to sleep that night, but just to make sure she would be fine, she took out the small pistol her father had given her before fleeing the town. She had no idea then how to shoot it, but she had learned meanwhile. She had to give in that her paranoia came in handy now. She had a gun, a knife, even a small one and she knew how to use both. Of course, somewhere in her mind she knew that pointing a gun to Ed wouldn't be that easy, but she tried shacking that thought of her mind. She placed the pistol under her pillow and the knife on the bed as she wanted to change, recalling Daryl had forgotten to give her the bigger knife he had promised. And, as she heard a noise in front of her tent she imagined it was Daryl who had come with that exact reason and she turned smiling just to face Ed in the doorway. Her smile vanished instantly.

Carol took a step behind, meeting the bed. Her body wasn't listening to her, so she fell on it, sitting. But her hand went to her pillow.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"You've made a fool out o' me today and I don't like that!" he groaned entering. "You' not treating me like that, bitch! You' my wife and you…"

"I am not your wife anymore, understand that" she managed grabbing her pistol. It was dark and she stood up, hiding it in the back pocket of her jeans, without him noticing.

"That's bullshit! We leavin' this place and you' coming with me! You owe me this after losing my baby".

"That was my child too. And I lost because of you".

"Shut up, whore!" he suddenly hit her face with the back of his palm. She almost fell, feeling her lip and chin burn up, but she hold her equilibrium in the last moment. Carol pulled her pistol out and pointed it at Ed. She held from shivering.

"You pointing guns at me now?" he almost laughed.

"Ed, get out" she said calmly, she even surprised herself. "I will shoot".

His nostril went up, he didn't like her confidence.

Now Daryl had recalled his promise to Carol and left his tent to walk to hers. It was also an excuse to spend a little bit more time alone with her. Merle wanted to rob the camp and leave, which gave him a hard time deciding what to do…follow his brother's lead or his instincts. As he pushed the curtain away from Carol's tent he looked surprised at Ed. His eyes went to Carol and her broken lip.

"Ya mother fuckin' bastard!" he grunted in his chin, hitting the man hard with his fist. Ed never saw it coming and fell on his front. Daryl hit his stomach.

"Daryl…he is not worth it" Carol said with a soft tone and the man looked up at her. He realized she was holding a gun at her former husband and, as he noticed her hand wasn't shaking at all, he smirked.

"Get the fuck out of here!" he grabbed Ed by his collar, pushing him out of the tent. "Or I am going to cut ya balls and feed ya with them" he almost yelled at him.

Shane came out of his tent.

"What's going on?" he asked as Ed stood up, dazzled from the hit. It was too dark for Shane to see anything else than their silhouettes.

"Nothing, he was just leaving" Daryl closed the curtain of the tent like he was slamming a door. He returned to Carol who was sitting down, still holding the weapon. He looked around and grabbed a bottle of water and a towel from a table, then he sat in front of her. He poured water on the towel and raised the woman's head, making her look at him.

"Ya where the talk of the town, always walking around with ya lip broken" his voice softened as he cleaned the wound. "They were still talking about it long after ya left and I visited".

"Yeah, I'm glad there is no mirror hanging around here" she whispered. "That's an image I never intended to see again" she squeezed the gun in her hands. He looked at it.

"Ya know at least how to use that?"

"I took classes after I moved. I was very paranoid".

"Good" he smirked again. "You really changed, Carol".

"He still managed hitting me".

"'Cause you let him".

She shrugged feeling embarrassed.

As Daryl finished cleaning the wound, he wondered his thumb on the contour of Carol's lips.

"I came to bring this" he said coming back to himself. He took out the knife and handed it to her. "Next time you hit first, ok? Don't let him hurt that pretty face o' your anymore" he stood up.

"Daryl, wait…" she said surprised that he wanted to leave so soon.

He looked shortly at her.

"Night, Carol" he mumbled and left.

Daryl walked slowly back to his tent. He knew very well his brother had the power to pull him away from her. His mind was confused as never in his life did he ever think of leaving his brother. They were in this together; he knew they needed each other to survive. And Carol would never come with them, moreover if she would find out the reason of their leaving: robing the camp. She was different now, she was taking her own decisions and had a mind of her own. Daryl had to give in, he liked that and liked the new her more than her old self. But he couldn't ever turn his back on his brother. He would never expose him. Making him change his mind…the chances were also small.

Note: Thank you for reading :)