Note: Starting with this chapter, I will follow the story line of the series, as I said, more or less.

His anger, her pain

Carol woke up later the next day, which was rather unusual to her. But her nerves didn't let her sleep until late into the night and when she finally closed her eyes; she fell into a deep sleep.

She woke up finding Glenn, Andrea, Jackie, Merle and Morales gone. They left for Atlanta to gather supplies, food, medicine, anything they could find. Daryl was also getting ready to go hunting again.

"Won't return for the night. I need to go deeper in the woods to find a deer" he talked to Shane and Dale.

Also he wanted to spend a night alone, but that he kept that to himself. Carol watched him prepare and went after him as he was heading to the woods.

"Daryl, wait" she called and he turned to her. "Spending the nights there…alone?"

"Yeah, I searched the whole area, ain't no deer around" he replied rather cold.

"I understand" Carol nodded fast.

He looked long at her, crossing her arms, moving a little on her feet and staring at the ground like she would always do when she felt uncomfortable about something. Now it was his staying in the woods overnight.

"Ya always understood…" his voice whispered and she looked up. "I'll be back woman, don't worry" his fingers quickly brushed her cheek and he crooked a little smile in the corner of his lip. She watched him leave and sighted long.

Carol spent the day, folding laundry, stitching holes in clothes and listening to Shane entertain Carl and Lori.

But when the radio started beeping and everyone rushed to see what T-Dog was communicating she started feeling uneasy. They were lost in the city, with Shane saying there was no point into going after them, Amy calling him a bastard, Daryl was in the woods chasing deer who knew where. If Merle wouldn't return…Carol didn't know if Daryl would be able to get over it. Merle was lucky to at least have Daryl always backing him up; there was no soul in camp to like him, not even her. But for Daryl, Merle had been the only one standing up for him, in his tormented young years, where his father made a boxing sack out of him and his mother spent her days drinking herself unconscious. No wonder Daryl saw him as the light of his eyes as he was family and more important to him…than anyone will ever be. Including her, she thought. What ground did he have to trust her again? She had deceived him once.

Carol bit her lip and it hurt her. She was doing it again, blaming herself for everything in the world. It was that attitude that made her accept Ed's pushy moves on her that night when she remained pregnant having no other way out of it than marrying him. It was that attitude that had made her accept Ed's beating and the sorrow filled life she had led in those years at his side. She had left it all behind and had stopped thinking like that when she decided to run away. She managed getting stronger and more confident in the following years. Sure the running in the morning helped her run from her emotions; the shooting classes in the afternoon shoot all her problems. And keeping away from people didn't let her build up any new doomed and sick relation. Well, at least the running and shooting came in handy now.

"Well, tonight we're eating mushrooms" Lori said as Carol approached.

"I still have some cans of food left, don't worry for the food tonight" she sat down absent minded. "Beans with some meat in them…must do".

"You're ok, Carol? Did Ed do…Shane told me Daryl threw him out of your tent".

"I'm fine, he caught me off guard. And I guess I put hay on that fire forming in him".

Lori blinked a few times.

"You're blaming yourself for it".

Carol looked up at her.

"I blame myself for not paying more attention".

"It's still blame, Carol".

She wanted to say something, but her thoughts got interrupted by a loud sound.

"Shane, you should see this" Dale called him and everyone approached.

Shane took the binocular in his hands and looked through them at the red speeding car.

"What's that?"

"I guess a stolen car".

The car soon reached them with the infernal sound it was making and Glenn got out if it. His face was thrilled, Dale demanded of him to turn it off, Amy was asking about Andrea. Finally the sound went off and everybody could hear themselves think clear again.

"They're all fine" Glenn said. "Well…except Merle".

Carol covered her mouth as what she feared most was coming true.

"Who got you out of there?" Shane asked.

"This new guy…"

Carol walked a few meters away trying to think what to do. Going after Daryl was an insane thought. Waiting for him to return made her hair turn grey. She was interrupted by the image of Lori and Carl running into the arms of a man she had never seen. She blinked a few times confused until she realized this man was Lori's husband. He was dressed as an officer.

Carol had no solution for Daryl's problem so she rather decided cooking dinner. The cans of beans and mushroom should have been enough for that night and they still had bread. She sat with the others listening at Rick how he woke up from a comma to a world fool of geeks, biters, walkers whatever everyone was calling them. Her mind faded slowly until she heard the name of Daryl Dixon. She looked up and listened to them discussing what to tell him, if to lie to him or not. She realized it was the worst solution to lie to him, even if, somewhere deep in her mind, she thought for a second it might be right. But she saw on everyone's face that hiding the truth from Daryl wasn't an option so she didn't step in. That evening Ed exaggerated with the fire again, Shane having to step in to make him lower it.

Carol couldn't get much sleep that night, but it wasn't because of Ed. She couldn't care less of him in those moments, or his shadow.

As she woke up first she decided to wash Rick's clothes. He thanked her later. But when Carl and the other kids screamed up, they all rushed to see what was happening. A walker was eating the remaining of a freshly shot deer. The arrows in it were Daryl's so he wasn't far away. They managed cutting his head and Daryl appeared from the woods. He grunted at the image of his deer eaten by a walker and shot his head, mumbling that no one around knew how to do it right. He walked towards the camp calling for Merle to come out and fry the squirrels, but as he passed Carol and looked into her eyes he stopped.

"What's wrong?" he asked reading her inside out.

She looked back at Rick and Shane.

"Daryl, we need to talk" Shane said.

"What about?"

"Your brother…" Shane said and paused.

"He dead?" Daryl asked and Carol could see his face crook a little.

Carol rubbed her eyes at what followed. Daryl was out of his mind, one step close to attacking Rick. One step to jumping at everybody because of Merle. She wasn't in his way and he overlooked her completely.

"You…need to go back after him" she heard herself saying. He stopped his anger and turned to her.

"He'll take you there" Lori said meaning her husband.

"So what is this, just the two of you?" Shane asked and Rick turned to Glenn.

Carol approached Daryl.

"You need to go after him, you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't".

"Course I'm going after him, what were you thinking I was going to sit on my ass here?" he raised his voice at her.

"I don't know if Merle would do the same for you, but you should go…"

"What's you saying, woman? My brother would come flying to me" his anger raised and raised.

Carol swallowed hard. She was getting out of him exactly what she wanted: anger. She wanted him to let his anger out on her, so he could later cooperate with whoever decided going with him. And she succeeded as the look he gave her before turning to Rick was a combination of hate and despair. But it seemed to her that he was ready to cooperate with the others.

After they left, Carol went to the dam to wash some more with the other women, as it seemed washing wasn't enough around. The nights were cold, but the days were hot. She sat with Andrea, Amy and Jackie, scrubbing clothes watching Shane play with Carl in the water. She smiled at the image and realized she felt her heart at ease. Daryl did what he had to do, but at least he left more open minded.

The women made her laugh again, like they always did when they washed clothes at the dam. Her only discomfort was Ed, who had offered to bring them there and had remained, losing time and smoking cigarettes. He approached as he heard them laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Just recalling war stories, Ed" Andrea said.

But the man remained there, watching them wash, which made Andrea uncomfortable.

"You know what, Ed? If you have a problem with how we wash clothes, you are welcome to do it yourself" Andrea stood up, throwing a wet shirt at him.

"This ain't my job, missy".

"So what is your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass smoking cigarettes?

Carol looked back at them and at Ed insulting Andrea. Now he was threatening to hit her. Carol stood up and approached.

"Let's go" Ed suddenly said to her.

"What?" Carol asked.

"You aren't taking her anywhere!" Andrea stepped in. "We know what you did to her, the lip, you think she's going anywhere with you? She left you, get over it".

Ed's eyes darkened and he was boiling up.

"I said let's go!" he screamed grabbing Carol's arm, but she pulled it away. He raised his hand again at her, just that this time she blocked it with her arm. Andrea started screaming at him and hitting her so did Jackie, while Amy pulled Carol away.

Shane appeared out of the blue and started hitting Ed like a sack box. The man was bleeding, his face swollen, but Shane didn't stop.

"Shane, stop" Carol finally said. It didn't matter who it was, she couldn't see that kind amount of beating. Everyone started begging Shane, but he wasn't listening.

"You're not laying another finger on her or anyone around camp. And if I see you close to Carl I'm gonna rip your skull in two!" he said with hatred to Ed and kicked him in the face and guts again.

Then he turned and left. Carol rubbed her forehead while everyone looked shocked at Ed, not knowing what to do. He was disoriented and couldn't see much.

"Great and now I have to gather his sorrow ass from the ground" Carol sighted annoyed and walked up to him.

"Carol…you don't need to…" Andrea said.

"And leave him out for the walkers? Not even I have the soul for that" she said helping him up. "Just that you know, only touching you makes me sick!" she added addressing Ed as carried him to his car.

The other women gathered the clothes and put them in the car. Carol drove back, with Ed unable to even hold his head straight.

"You know you belong to me" Ed whispered.

"No. And you are going to get that out of your head" she said cold as they reached the camp.

She helped him inside his tent and poured some water in a bowel, which she placed next to his bed. She gave him a towel.

"Clean yourself" she said.

"Carol, this ain't right. You're my woman and y' stick with me" he whispered through his bloody lips.

She looked at him last time, there was no expression in her eyes.

"Well, don't cha come running to me when everyone has given up on you, 'cause they will in the end!"

She left.

Andrea and Amy went fishing that afternoon and returned with a dozen of tasty catch. The whole camp cheered as it was a variation to all those squirrels. It changed the atmosphere as everyone was tensed because Rick and the others hadn't yet returned. Moreover Jim had acted crazy all day, digging holes in the hot sun, without wanting to stop. Shane and Dale had managed calming him somewhere late in the afternoon.

The food put a smile on everyone's faces, boosting their good mood. Dale was telling stories of time, everyone was joking, there were even some beers left. And the fresh fish tasted heavenly, the night seemed to be calm. That until Amy, coming out of Dale's van, got attacked and bitten by a walker. And she wasn't the only one, out of nowhere they appeared, surrounding the group, biting whoever they could.

"Lori, get him down" Shane said talking about Carl as he shot a walker. Jim used his baseball bat, Dale whatever tool he had left. Carol found herself protecting what she knew was right in that world and she backed up Lori, using her small pistol to shoot as well.

"They are too many!" Carol called out as she shot her last bullet. She had a few more in her tent, but she never thought for a second she would need them that night.

"To the van" Shane demanded. "Morales, work your way up here!"

Andrea was helplessly bent over her sister, not knowing what to do, how to help her. Amy was bit to the bone, her eyes drifting between reality and unconsciousness.

Carol had taken her knife out and was using it as best as she could, but sticking it in a walker's head wasn't as easy as taking candy from a child. Still, she managed keeping some away, even if that meant cutting half of their necks and sending them, somehow still kicking, to the ground. And finally out of the blue came the sweetest sound, that of riffles being shot, Rick appearing with Daryl followed by Glenn and T-Bone. There was no trace of Merle, but no one had the time to think about that now. One by one the walkers were killed and silence took over the camp again. A look around and they realized there were much too many casualties.

"Now I recall what my dream was about…why I dug those holes" Jim broke the silence of the night.

Carol looked at Rick embrace Carl in tears.

"Ya ok?" Daryl approached her, his voice changed.

She nodded fast, tucking her arms behind her back, because else she feared she wouldn't resist embracing him. He looked long at her needing to make sure it was true. He couldn't have found Merle and it seemed life had taken the decision for him. But he shook that thought of his mind…he felt bad for thinking it, so he left Carol's side.

Carol looked after him, but as she did her eyes stopped on what was left of a silhouette she knew too well.

"Ed?" she whispered and walked to the remaining of the body. It was indeed him. Carol covered her mouth in shock, but felt nothing. She left him there and returned to the others.

"What now?" she asked.

"We keep guard until the morning. Anyone who can shoot will take up a gun. And we will deal with everything at sun brake" Rick said, his voice frail.

They passed the night in total silence. None dared speaking, no eyes met.

Daryl was still thinking at Merle and how he was nowhere to find. He had rushed up here thinking Merle would get his revenge on the camp. And he didn't want that, he couldn't let him. Somehow he felt relieved the walkers had attacked and not his brother. And now he had to get used with his absence, for good.

They slept in shifts, in the cars. And as the morning broke, after a quick search of the perimeter, they had to start dealing with the bodies. But they soon found out that Jim had gotten bitten and Daryl insisted to end his life. Carol understood then, that his anger was still boiling, erupting with every given chance. So he went to deal with the bodies, putting an axe in their heads.

"I'll deal with him" Carol said as he reached Ed, taking the axe from his hands. "He was after all…my husband, once".

Daryl nodded and looked at the half eaten Ed for a last time. She raised the heavy axe over her head and hit his skull breaking it in two. And then again and again, while tears she didn't notice started running down her cheeks. She filled with anger, pain and hatred. Every single slap and fist on her face, every kick in her guts, every mark, every word and every shiver of fear came to her mind. Daryl pulled a little back at the image of the shattered skull and at her pain, his face crooking up.

They shared the same feeling right then. Anger. Carol threw the axe away and turned to leave, but Daryl stopped her, as his arm caught her.

"Hey!" he said as she buried her face in his shoulder. She remained still for a second, but pulled away, wiping her face with her palms.

"You don't need to clean the mess he did, you've got your own problems. And…even if you might have thought different…I am really sorry for Merle and…I understand your pain" she said looking at him through her bloodshot eyes.

"Ya said…" but he stopped as he realized now. She walked away fearing his words. He looked after her understanding that what she had said a day before, had been for him to focus his anger on her and not the others. To be able to work with Rick…

Daryl pressed his lips together and continued hammering the brains of the dead.

Carol returned to the others who were arguing about leaving the place and heading to CDC headquarters. It was far away, but it was the only chance for Jim. Not all agreed and a dispute erupted. As she expected Daryl kept out of it. Rick, Shane and Dale walked away to scan the perimeter again. And after attending the suffering Jim, Carol searched for Daryl.

"If it is decided to leave…what will you do?" she asked the man who was cleaning his crossbow.

He looked shortly up at her.

"You're sticking with this group, aren't you?" he mumbled in his chin.

"Yes, I am" she replied.

He smirked and stood up.

"I like the new Carol, even more than the old" he said and wondered off.

Carol blinked confused wondering when Daryl had started speaking in riddles.

Rick, Shane and Dale finally returned. And it was decided they were heading out for the CDC, next thing in the morning. Their last drop of hope was placed out on a silver platter.

That night had been as tensed as the one before. No one even dared talking, everyone was listening to the woods, the slightest sound sending shivers down their spine.

When the day broke, Carol gathered her tent and belongings. She brought them to her car, but recalled it was almost out of gas. Daryl saw her, as he was also gathering his tent and Merle's motorcycle. He secured it and walked up to Carol.

"Ya wanna get far in that Ford K?" he asked amused.

"Just that you know it's a very good car even if so small" she smiled at him. "But it's out of gas".

"Too many cars already. Ya coming with me, Carol" he said and grabbed her tent. She picked up her other bag and followed him, unable to hide that smile in the corner of her lip.

Morales decided to leave the other way around with his family and so they all left the little camp to face the world again.

Carol looked outside at the peaceful woods as she felt Daryl's palm on her hand.

"'m glad to have ya back" he said, his eyes on the roads.

She smiled and squeezed his hand.

End note: I'm skipping a lot of the action as I this story purely concentrates on Daryl and Carol. It might feel rushed because of this, but I won't let out any important moment between the two. Thank you for reading!