"And this is my bedroom!" he bashfully widens his arms as we step into his room. It's much smaller and messier than mine, but... somehow I like it more. "My table, where I'm supposed to do my schoolwork, my shelves, full of books and manga, my bed, where I break my heart every morning, my TV, where I catch all my favorite shows..:" He continues at some length to give an overview of his room. More like of every single thing in here. "I've been here before, idiot." "Yes, I know, but it's such a rare event, maybe we've changed some rooms or something during that time! Oh, and this is my cat, Shi!" he cheers as he picks up a black young cat from the floor. "Shi?" "Yes, because of her tooth, see? And her gender too..." he lifts the left corner of the cat's mouth and it reveals a slightly bent fang. I knew I was overreaching it. "I got her from the pound, she has been through a lot, I think." It's true. Even though its fur seems healthy and silky, some of it shorter - a sign of it growing back on the bald spots. It also seems to bear some scars and a part of her right ear is missing. "Even though she looks a little rough, she's the sweetest kitty there is. She's always cheering me up after a long day." Is that so? "Hahaha, well, she's nice to me, at least!" Takao adds as I reach my hand to pet the cat, but get hissed at instead.
Takao turns on the TV and we leizure on the floor, not paying much mind to it. It's more to keep the background running. I came here because I forgot my keys and my family isn't home yet. As good as an excuse than any.
"I'll follow you to the TMDU, Shin-chan!" he laughs when I ask him about what he's planning on doing after high school. "You won't get in with your scores if they remain as they are now." "So mean, Shin-chan! Of course, I won't become a doctor, deciding over one's life is too much for me to handle. I'll become a male nurse, you'll see." He laughs even more. He's probably imagining himself in some kind of a nurse's dress. Luckily we still have two years.
Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all. ... Love?
He must have taken my pondering expression as an annoyed look and now he's patting me on the back. "Don't be so angry, Shin-chan, don't worry, I'll leave you alone after Shūtoku and let you become the best doctor there ever was. You'll meet lots of unfun and serious coworkers like yourself and pass the time in the operation room by making records by from how far you can toss an organ into an open patient! Or whatever it is that basketball enthusiasts as doctors do." ... What? But ruling that out, I can say I'm not worrying. Because of that, at least.
I sigh. "Life is only going to get harder. We're going to have to deal with so many controversial and different aspects of life. Who knows what we'll have to go through." "It's okay, though. Isn't it?" He asks as reassurance when I look at him, questioning. "It is okay, I think. It's okay to want someone you can't have. It's okay to keep friendships when you don't want them, or when you want something more. It's okay to cry when you're hurt, and it's okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it's always gonna be okay. That's just how it works, Shin-chan. Sometimes, things don't always work out the way you want them to and a lot of times it seems like they never will. But it's okay. That's how life's supposed to go. It's all about learning how to deal with the bumpy parts in the road and waiting until they're smooth again. It's all about forgiving and forgetting. It's all about waiting and wishing. That's just how life is."
I look at him, unbelieving. Takao is actually smart, no matter how dumb he might behave on some days. I know that. But... To hear him ponder about something like this... It's really quite something else. I wonder, has he thought of those things a lot. Maybe lately... even more?
Shi is purring in his arms. She's the same shade of black as Takao's hair. "She's calm now, want to pet her again?" he smiles at me. "Yes."