Disclaimer: All belong to J.K. Rowling

The Feeling

Ethelinda was on the bed for another two days until Severus finally agreed that she completely healed. After the day of the confession, they tended to speak less than usual. He only showed up to check for her wound and gave her some regular healing potions. And during those visits, he rarely asked more than two questions: "Anything different?" and "Drink these." They were not even a complete ones. She sighed annoyingly at his sudden change in his behavior. She buttoned up her shirt while remembering about their last nice conversation. It was normal and a bit of fun. What happened after that? She put on her black skinny jean, her jacket with a hood, and her boots. She walked out of her room and closed the door behind her. She headed down to the basement, his new sanctuary.

The stair that led to the basement was not much of different than the one to the Potion's class in Hogwarts. Ethelinda felt the irony in the situation and shook her head while smirking. She never went down to the basement when she lived here, so she took the time to go. Yet, she did not really focus on her surroundings. Mostly, her head still wrapped up of how to propose the questions to Severus. She knew the man could get very nasty if the words came out wrong. Nevertheless, he had not showed that side of him to her while they worked together. Therefore, she hoped their conversation would somehow turn out nicely.

By the time, Ethelinda reached to the end of the stair, she saw a wooden door that was slightly opened. The light from inside of the room peaked out through the door's gap. She stood there, unsure of what she would do next.

"Come in," Severus's deep and velvet voice shook Ethelinda out of her thinking.

She inhaled deeply and pushed the door to open. The room was large with a long table in the middle of it. There were new shelves that lined up against the walls and were mostly filled with potion's ingredients. She could see the steam, felt the heat, and smelled the fragment. It was definitely like she was back to the potion class. She stood there, amazed at the sight of her former Potion professor, who was working on the potion. For a minute, she thought she saw him in a slow motion from chopping ingredients to controlling the temperature of the cauldron.

"Hey," she walked close to him but kept a safe distance. The last time she was next to someone while they were brewing, the cauldron got exploded.

He did not rise his head and hid his face behind his long hair, he asked in his neutral voice, "Something wrong?"

She kept her eyes at his hands, she replied, "Nothing wrong with me. It's more like what is wrong with you?"

His eyebrows knitted in and then smoothed out, "What do you mean?"

Finally a complete question. That looks promising. She thought hopefully of a further conversation.

"Something in you change," she began. "In the last two months, we had some arguments, but nothing ended with a silence like this. You barely speak more than two sentences, and just now, is your longest one. I thought we were fine after the talk. What happened, Severus?"

Severus stayed focused to the cauldron, "I don't want to talk about it." His voice was cold and distant.

Ethelinda looked at him with disbelief. He refused to talk. She knew something definitely went wrong and she seemed to sense the cause of the problem. It had to do with the talk they had two days ago. She felt a strong wave of anger in her. She did not like when people denied a discussion. She hated to be left out. She felt an urge of slashing at him, but took a deep breath and calmed herself down. She could not let her anger messed thing up again. She bit her lower lip and said, "It seems that you are not in the mood for talking. And you know me, I will try again tomorrow."

She turned her back to him and walked straight out of the door. She did not bother to see his reaction, which she knew he would not show any.

When Severus heard her footsteps fade away, he left out a heavy sigh. The girl was good in picking up his mood. He pinched at the bridge of his nose as he remembered about the night of two days ago.

That evening, after seeing the basement, he was surprised to find a complete set up for a potion laboratory. Even though, some of the equipment was old, but whoever owned them, put a reverse charm which kept them as good as new. With not much things to do down there, Severus went back to his room. An unknown feeling crept inside him as he settled down to his bed. Happy? He felt strange at the new sensation. He did not understand where it came from, but he enjoyed it, an expensive pleasure that he could not afford. He laid down to his bed and closed his eyes. The image of Ethelinda appeared in his mind: her beautiful smile, her joyful eyes, and her warming touch. She was… his happiness. His hand was reaching out to catch the image of her but it disappeared, replaced by a pool of blood. No…The blood quickly pulled him into it. He felt his body was shaking and struggling to grab for air. In that short moment, the images of people, who he failed to save, reappeared in front of his eyes. You failed; failed to save another person, again. Someone would come as far as asking for his help. Someone would put her trust in him blindly. Someone did not fear of who he was. And he failed.

He sat up terrifying. The sweats ran down his face. His body was shaking uncontrollably. It had been years since he last had a feeling like this. Since Lily… He scared; scared of losing someone so close to him again. Close? When did she become close to him? When did he enjoy of her company? When did all of these absurd feeling appear? His hand wiped down on his face, trying to clear out the sweat.

He stared into the dark room, repeating the questions in his head like a madman. His hand unconsciously touched the Dark Mark on his forearm. It was still there, not visible as before but enough to remind him of what he had done wrong in his life. He closed his eyes and decided to push those feeling he had for her was. It should not be there. It was the cause of her injury. If he had focused enough and followed her, she should not get that ugly scar. He needed to be her protector, not a… lover? He sneered at the idea. He definitely got too comfortable around her to misunderstand his own feeling. That was it, a mistake, nothing more.

After two months into the partnership, Severus withdrew to his shell. He forced himself to believe that whatever his feeling for her was a simple attraction. She was a piece of chess that oddly appeared in his game and amused him. However, she was not something he needed in his life. He needed no-one and even if he did, she was not the one. He did not deserve her. He began to keep a distance to her. He believed the less they interacted the less likely he would be confused and so she was.

Severus brushed his hair to the back and returned to the current brewing. Her potion needed to finish as soon as possible. Now that she recovered fully from the incident, the potion would not have any conflict to her body.

While the man was torturing himself with the idea of rejecting the girl, Ethelinda bored herself in the library. She had stared at the book for more than fifteen minutes but barely read a word. She was not sure which book that she took off from the bookshelves. Her mind drifted off to him, again.

"Mistress," Cadfael spoke softly, trying to call her back from her thinking.

"Hmm?" She was not focusing but was still able to identify the sound.

"Why did you give him the ring?" He finally asked about the family's heirloom.

"I need him to open the box and help out here," she explained.

"You know what I am trying to ask, Mistress," he pressed the matter.

Ethelinda closed the book and observed Cadfael's expression for a second. She sighed, "Yes, I have the intention to pursuit the man. No, I have not done anything outraced yet."

"Yet?" He rose one of his eyebrows and shook his head. "Please be careful in what you are doing, Mistress. I am not against in your choice of partner, but I do not want to see you make another mistake like your mother. Besides, that man is a little bit strange. Are you sure he is not a vampire?"

She gave Cadfael a funny look, she said, "No, he is not a vampire, Cadfael." She paused, thinking of her situation, "Do you know why he acts strangely around me?"

Cadfael poured another cup of tea for Ethelinda, he replied, "I think you already figured out the answer."

"You're not helping," she huffed and returned to read her book.

Cadfael gave her an interesting smile and disappeared out of the library. Ethelinda stared at the spot where her butler stood a second ago. He was right. She knew that her talk was the cause, but not sure of which parts finally pushed him to the edge. She bit her lower lip as she was thinking. Was it about her true identity? Or her age? Or… She paused, a thought suddenly crossed her mind, was it about him? She fell back against the couch, realizing that she knew a very little about her former Potion Professor. Being his student for four years, she barely talked to him. She tried to investigate him out curiosity but nothing came back useful. He was a very private man and a spy. She knew she would never understand what he had experienced; but she had enough understanding to see what laid behind his protection shell. People who had gone through traumas needed time to heal and adapted to a new environment. And one of those techniques of getting to understand was trust. Trust, shit. She groaned, realizing what had been missing there in their relationship. She allowed herself to trust him but not the other way around. She closed her eyes, knowing this change in their relationship would become a trouble if it continued on.

Ethelinda opened her eyes as she came to a conclusion. She needed to talk with him again.

The clock in the mansion chimed at midnight. The sound echoed through the house, breaking the ghostly silence. Outside, the moon was high and bright. It lighted up a part of the living room. She stood there, near one of the windows, waiting for him. When a sound of someone's footing approached close to the living room, she turned a found the person she was waiting for.

"Severus," she called him in a calm manner.

The man stiffed and subconsciously drew his wand out. When his focus was clearer and he saw her face. He withdrew his wand immediately.

"Here," he took a vial out. "The potion you requested is done."

Her eyes dropped to his hand, she looked a bit of surprise. She did not expect him to finish the potion early, but she did not really know when he started to brew. Suddenly, she lost her voice, not sure of where to start. Therefore, she took the vial from him.

The touch of her fingers briefly brushed in his palm, making both of them shivered oddly.

"Thank you," she finally found her voice.

"It's late," he spoke up. "You should take a good rest."

He tried to avoid her by making the conversation as short as possible. She, however, wanted to clarify the problem between them. She grabbed his wrist and said softly, "Please stay, Severus. We need to talk."

"No," he refused in his snaky voice as he pulled his wrist away from her. "I'm tired. I do not want to play with your little game. There is nothing we need to discuss"

His eyes locked at her face, waiting for some kind of reactions, but nothing happened. She remained calm but her eyes studied his face. She tried to understand the situation.

"I'm not playing any game," she stated. "I want to understand what I have done wrong to create this problem between us. However, I'm not sure anymore. You sound like those past months never happened, and this… no, our relationship turns from friend back to… I don't know what kind of relationship we are in now."

His lips moved as he tried to say something, but then, he did not know what he would say. She mentioned that they were friend. That meant something to him and so for her, but somehow, he destroyed that little connection between them. He wanted to explain why he reacted like that to her, yet his stubborn resisted himself from taking that first step.

She waited for him to make any comment, though, only silence passed between them. She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes briefly. When she opened her eyes, she said, "If this is how you choose to end this problem, then I accept it. From now on, strictly professional communication between us. I'm apologize for any misbehavior that I acted on you. Those will never happen again. Good night, Professor."

With that, she turned her back to him and walked away from the room. She blinked and tears silently ran down to her cheek. This was not how she planned, she did not want to make things became more complicated. Nothing had solved and the gap of misunderstanding between them just got farther.

"Good night, Miss Lefevre," he whispered to the spot she stood a moment ago. He successfully reformed their relationship.

A cloud blocked away the moon's light, making the living room darker. Severus sighed and headed back to his room. He always got what he wanted.

"Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of communication, and neither of them agree to make that move," a voice sighed in the shadow of the room.

"That will make her decision easier later on, no lingering," another voice whispered.

"But I like the guy. Oh, he reminds me of my dear husband," a female voice added.

"Oh, just shut up, woman. I am far handsome than him," a male voice sneered.

"I am talking about his personalities," the female snapped back. "You? Handsome? You are nowhere close to Novas."

"Seriously, you guys?" Cadfael suddenly appeared from nowhere. "The mansion has listed as one of the haunted places. You guys are not helping by appearing here."

"When did that happen?" a voice surprised.

"Maybe another time, not tonight," Cadfael shook his head, not wanting to begin a long tale with these unwanted visitors.

"Do you think they will make up?" the female voice asked.

"I don't know," Cadfael sounded unsure. "But like Thomas said, it's better this way for her and him later on."

A/N: Finally, it's here lol I'm apology for this delay. Read and review then, everyone :)

Specially thanks to my lovely beta, Hero of Olympus in Disguise ^x^