Now or never

That next morning everyone was yet again tensed. Hershel wanted to leave, Rick was disagreeing. Even Merle was saying they should have left that night, but that chance was gone as the governor must have had the road blocked by then.

"That truck through the fence thing? That's just him ringing the doorbell" Merle said. "We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he has the guns and the numbers and if he takes the high ground around this place he can shoot, maybe starve us if he wanted to".

"Let's put him in the other cell block" Maggie said annoyed.

"No, he's got a point" Daryl stepped in.

"This is all you, you've started this!" Maggie raised her voice at Merle.

"What's the difference who started this?" Beth stepped in.

"I said we should leave. Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here" Hershel said.

Rick turned around and walked away.

"Get back here!" Hershel stood up and yelled. Rick stopped.

"You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said that this wasn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something".

Carol turned to feed Judith. The others got organized around. Rick soon returned after taking a look outside. He sent Maggie to keep watch.

"Field's filled with walkers. I didn't see any snipers outside, but we'll keep Maggie on watch" he said to the others.

"I can get up in the guard tower, take out half them walkers give ya guys a chance to fix the fence" Daryl said.

"Or use some of the cars to put the bus in place" Michonne said.

"We can't access the fields without wasting some bullets" Hershel said.

"So we're trapped in here. Barely any food or bullets left" Glenn stepped in.

"We've been here before. We'll be alright" Daryl said.

"That's when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest!" Glenn angered.

Daryl turned to him, also angering.

"Man, we'll go through this again? Look, Merle is staying here, he's with us now. Get used to it"

"Hey" Rick tried to step in.

"All of ya!" Daryl said to him fed up. He went up the stairs back to his cell. He passed Carol who looked after him.

She put Judith back and picked up some disinfectant and sterile gauze and walked to Daryl's cell. She stopped in the doorway, leaning against the wall.

"I haven't had a chance to tell you how glad I am that you're back".

He looked up at her, surprised.

"To what? All this?" he said as he was still annoyed.

Carol smiled shortly and sat on the bed.

"This is our home" she tried calming him.

"This is a tomb" he replied, playing with his arrows.

"That's what T-Dog called it. I used to believe he is right until…you found me".

The corner of his lip smiled, looking at her. Tomb or not at least she was there.

"He's your brother but he's not good for you. Don't let him bring you down. After all, look how far you've come".

His fingers were playing on the arrow, he looked down and then up at her. They both chuckle shortly.

"Let me see that wound…" Carol approached a little.

"Just a scratch…and not from a walker".

She poured disinfectant on the gauze and he leaned to her. She cleaned his wound on his cheek, his face close to hers.

"Merle is right…I left ya" Daryl whispered.

"Is that why you came in there last night? Because you didn't want him talking things into my head?"

He nodded shortly, placing his palm on her shoulder.

"I…I couldn't chose, Carol. He's my brother".

"Then why did you return?"

"Because…after all I had to do what was good for me. Like ya did when ya left Ed. Ya had the power then. And I…"

"Do you forgive me?" she asked. "For the past?"

"I ain't having what to forgive" his voice lowered. "But I missed ya like hell. Ya are always slipping through my fingers, but ya sure as hell damn right for me. So how are we gonna manage all this? 'Cause I am afraid to approach ya because whenever I do, there is something coming in between. But I can't stay away either from ya…said it was enough to just have ya around…well it ain't anymore".

"Andrea is here!" Carl came in the cellblocks calling out.

"What?" Daryl said jumping of the bed. Carol followed him.

They ran out, each with a gun, each surveying the area from different places. Carol was up with Glenn, Daryl, Merle and Rick went to open the gates. They got Andrea in and Rick took away her weapons and bag.

Carol and Glenn walked back. Soon Andrea entered with the other and as she went down the stairs she embraced Carol long.

"We thought you died after you saved me, we saw that walker collapse on you" Carol said, happy to see her friend.

They talked about their losses, about Shane, Lori and T-Dog the governor; Andrea would have liked to move them all in at Woodbury. She thought they could all end up living there; it was after all a town, a place to start a new life. But none of them seemed to want to negotiate; they had seen what the governor was capable of. Michonne took Andrea for a walk while Carol went to attend Judith.

"I saw that town…it's really a town. With houses and pretty streets" Daryl approached her. "Ya think ya would like…to move there?"

Carol smiled.

"What I would like is for all of us to stick together. Sure, a town sounds appealing, but one led by such a man…I don't think that would ever work. Sounds to me like an utopia".

"Guess we should stop wanting to build up our lives again…we should just start living" he looked at the baby letting her take his finger in her little hand. "I said I'll always return to ya… and after all I did. But I also left ya in the meantime".

He heard Andrea approach and left as he wanted to give them some space. The woman wanted to see Judith before leaving and she took the child in her arms. She asked what happened to Lori and Shane; Carol told her the whole truth.

"Rick became cold…unsteady" Andrea said.

"He has his reasons…" Carol looked at Andrea. She thought for a moment. "The governor…you need to do something".

"I am…"

"No…you need to sleep with him. Give him the greatets night of his life. You get him to drop his guard then when he's sleeping…you can end this" Carol said staring into the woman's eyes.

They gave a car to Andrea, and Rick handed her his pistol and knife. As cold as he might have gotten he still cared for his people and Andrea felt it. She soon left without anyone knowing what was next.

Carol cooked dinner with Maggie that night and they sat or stood around a lamp. No one was talking, everyone looked tensed and unsecured of the future. Now they didn't feared the dead, but the living. And then Beth started singing her voice filling up the cells, trying to bring a little hope back.

Rick decided to go out with Michonne and Carl to get weapons and asked for Daryl to remain at the prison in case anything would happen. Besides he needed to keep an eye on his brother. Daryl agreed; his eyes on Carol, who was sitting on the other side of the room.

One by one they left to sleep. Carol was the only one remaining, sitting on the floor, staring at the lamp. Her mind was drifting away, somewhere far. Somehow she didn't feel the need for rest, so she grabbed a gun and went out into a tower to keep watch. She looked up at the sky full of stars, being the only light to keep her company and used the lonely time to clear her mind. One by one her thoughts ordered, her wishes and desires, her old her vanishing completely, leaving space for the new Carol. And when the sun finally came up, Carol felt new strength, the kind she had never felt, blossoming into her.

She went down to get the gates for Rick, Michonne and Carl and watched them leave between the hungry walkers.

"I searched for ya all morning" she turned to face Daryl who was right behind her. "Where ya been?"

"Keeping watch in one of the towers".

"All morning?"

"All night".

"Really?" he asked tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Yes, why?"

"'Cause ya…don't look tired at all".

"I'm not. But I'll get some sleep later. Have you eaten breakfast?"

He puffed amused.

"Ya don't have to always feed me, Carol".

"I'm feeding everyone around here. If it were up to all of you, I doubt it you would ever eat. And we need our strengths" she said approaching him.

"No, I mean…look Carol, I am in love with ya".

She blinked surprised. Not that is was new to her, she wasn't that blind, but she wasn't expecting such a direct statement.

"But it's too late" he continued before Carol had the time to gather her words. "This ain't the world to fall in love. Ya clearly see it: every time I come close to ya, something happens. We're about to engage into some war with that governor guy. Who is to tell that any of us will come alive of it? I survived so long because I was never afraid of death, never afraid in to engage in a fight with it. But if I come too close to ya…I'm gonna start being afraid of it. And it's not the moment".

He pressed his lips together. Carol rubbed her forehead, his words filling her, one by one, up with sorrow.

"Well, that was a big speech" she whispered. "And I must say, I wasn't expecting it. I mean I thought we were going to linger again, like we did for the past months, waiting for…who knows what. But this…I don't know what to make of it".

She looked up at him, directly into his blue eyes.

"You say you fear death when you come close to me. Well, let me tell you that I am able to face death, because you come close to me. All this…has done nothing else than to give me strength, to give me a reason to stay alive. Other than pure survival. And I don't care if I have you for a day, a year or…whatever I am given to live, I just… I just don't want to stay away from you anymore".

She took a deep breathe.

"But it's not what you want. I was willing and am willing to fight for anything, but I can't fight instead of you. Still, Daryl let me tell you this. I love you with all my existence. And you can make me stay away from you, but you can't stop me from loving you".

She passed him, feeling shattered, but he stopped her grabbing her arm.

"Wait" he said.

"Why? So we can act as cowards again? Don't you see we have been both cowards all our lives? And that we continue being? Well, I am done with it. You have my opened heart on a silver platter. It's yours now, no matter what. I can't take it back it doesn't belong to me anymore and I don't want it back! What I want is you, but it seems that is impossible. But you think that is going to change how I feel? It won't" she said, her eyes turning glassy.

"I don't want ya to be angry at me" he whispered in a low tone.

"I am sorry for that. As I am. Boiling. I could grab a knife and kill all those walkers outside there, I am that angry!"

Her remark made him smirk.

"Don't laugh at me! You're just…" Carol blood rushed to her cheeks. She approached him and her lips touched his. Her body was pressed on him, her palms on his face and neck. Daryl couldn't hold himself. His hands went directly to her waist, pulling her even closer, he devoured her lips instantly. He couldn't resist her, his mind blurred completely. He could only see fractions of what they were doing, the rest was left to his other senses. They had somehow managed dragging each other in an empty basement room, finding a dirty mattress. He was sensing Carol, tasting her lips, her skin, feeling her body all over with his greedy hands. There was nothing else in the world, no prison, no walkers, no war, no governor just his desire to make the woman his, to finally make her his. He let her go a second, while he took off his vest and she got rid of her long sweater, remaining in a tight once red top. She sat down, supporting her weight on her elbow. He unbuttoned his shirt, but he had no patience to get it off, so he kneeled on the mattress in front of her, between her legs, approaching her. She helped him with the shirt His arms slipped tight around her, like trying to hold her from disappearing. As he embraced her, she felt the hardness between his legs, pressing onto her, showing her how desired she was. His lips were on her neck, while his hands had slipped under her top, stroking the skin of her back and, with one, skilled move he pulled the top over her head. His fingers wondered up and down her back, he took his time to look at her, unhooking the bra and getting rid of it.

Her skin was getting hotter with every touch, her lips searched for his constantly.

He pushed her down and she felt the cold mattress on her nap. His hand slipped and unbuttoned her pants as skilled as it had with her bra. He wondered his fingers under the elastic of her panties, going deeper, covering her lips to feel the breath of her hot moan as he explored her with his hand. He took her pants off and covered her nipples with his lips, his hand unbuttoned his pants. She felt him enter her slowly, taking his time and she closed her eyes. All those years were gathering up in her, all those years of waiting for her to be his and he to be hers, for their bodies to become one.

Daryl embraced her as he was getting his pleasure. She was giving herself freely, she made him lose his mind.

He collapsed over her and she embraced him.

"This was not my plan" he managed whispering.

"I don't care" she replied cold.

He lifted his body a little to look into her eyes.

"Are ya still mad at me?"

She wanted to say yes, but her features softened as she looked at his face.

"Are we in this together?" she asked.

"We'll always be, Carol" he replied.

She managed smiling, but then she recalled something.

"I forgot to feed Judith!" she said, pushing him away and jumping up. She quickly dressed.

"Beth is taking care of her…don't go now" he said confused. "How are we settling this?"

She stopped as she had button her pants and looked down at him.

"There is nothing to settle. I have made up my mind and I think I just proved it to you. What you want to do…you'll have to find out on your own, Daryl" she said with a soft tone and a warming smile. She finished dressing under his lingering eyes and left, but stopped at the door "These were indeed the happiest moments of my life". Then she walked away.

Daryl sighted and hit his nap on the wall.

Carol kept busy for the rest of the morning and afternoon. She fed Judith, she washed clothes, she cleaned guns, rearranged the food until she finally felt tired. She decided to go for a nap, but as she reached her cell, she froze in front of the door. All of Daryl's things were in there. She sat on the bed and smiled. Daryl appeared next to the door.

"I like that smile. And I wanna see it every morning I wake up" his voice filled her up.

THE END

Note: Well, this is it. Carol had to provoke the change. And as sudden as it came, the title says it: now or never. I hope you enjoyed the story and I thank you all for reading and reviewing! Have a fantastic forth season!