The Past is a Foreign Country

A note on Ardak-Yakshi and asari physiology: Since Shepard doesn't learn about Ardak-Yakshi until ME2, Dr. Chakwas' information is deliberately skewed. (Like listening to the news in the elevators after completing a mission.)

"How is she, Doctor?"

Dr. Karin Chakwas looked up from her reading material. Relief washed through her. The Nos Astra Assembly of Advanced Medical Procedures had published its latest findings on bone weave nanotech. The article was absurdly boring. It was as if the writer had known Karin was going to read it and deliberately chose tedious and static wording. The only excitement about such a breakthrough in nanotech was the translation glitch. The VI translator had processed 'bone weave technology' as 'rigid boning components.' But one didn't read the Armali Council Medical Ethics Journal for that kind of excitement. After getting a good chuckle, the article went right back to being dull.

Dr. Chakwas didn't have to ask who Commander Shepard was referring to. She only had one patient today: Liara T'Soni. No one else had called in sick. It was astounding to her how many had been in yesterday feeling ill, but, today—now that they were getting ready to leave the ship—no one needed corpsman candy or begged for a sick in quarters chit.

"She's still resting," Karin said.

Shepard nodded, her eyes darting cautiously towards the sleeping asari lying on the medical bed on the far side of the room. If Karin didn't know any better, she'd believe the Commander was feeling guilty about something. It made her nose twitch. Shepard shot things for a living. Regrets were inevitable. Guilt was something to be concerned about. Guilt had put the Commander on admin duty at the Luna N training base for nearly eight months. A rogue Spectre was trying to bring back machines responsible for the destruction of the Prothean Empire. Shepard had to be at her best. After this evening, Karin wouldn't see the Commander for a while. Whatever was going on needed to be corrected, if one could deal with such things in a single conversation.

"Did something happen I should know about, Shepard?" she asked setting aside her data pad and standing.

The Commander sighed. "During the debrief, Dr. T'Soni said she might be able to help with sorting out the Prothean vision. And…we… had sex. I think. I—I'm not really sure." At Dr. Chakwas raised eyebrows, she continued, "I'm not sure if I did something or if she did something that caused our minds to…" She awkwardly clasped her hands together in an effort to show—whatever it was that she was trying to show. "Talk," she said finally. "It only happened for a second. It was…really fucking weird. Like being high but in control of your senses but not in control of…" She sighed and sat on a medical bed. She seemed completely out of her element.

Dr. Chakwas blinked and activated her omni-tool, relaying what had happened before Liara collapsed on the medical bed at the far end of the room. "Liara said she was nauseated and dizzy when she came in. When I scanned her, her electrolytes were low; her heart rate was up; and her higher brain functions were fluctuating. All signs typically associated with asari biotic mating. I didn't ask which of the crew she'd mated with. None of my business." She scanned Shepard as the Commander mouthed the word mating and chewed it over a bit. By the look on Shepard's face it seemed to taste of bad turnips or something. "Perhaps I should have." The Commander's electrolytes were low as well. "Did you activate your biotics?"

"I… I don't know?" Shepard replied, confusion written across her face. "Maybe? For a split second, I wasn't there. We were. It wasn't like the asari commando on Feros. You know: a bludgeoning to the back of the head. Nothing but seeing stars and images and my head pounded for days afterward. Liara was different. Warmer? The sensation wasn't just in my head. It was all over. But it wasn't painful. Then I saw… experienced one or some of her memories – I think. I mean, the Protheans are… I don't remember ever feeling that way about Protheans. It was like I was her for a second." She rubbed the back of her neck and closed her eyes. "Hell, I don't know. It was like…" She gave an unladylike snort. "It was… it was really fucking weird," she said again, this time in annoyance. The Commander was too used to shooting things she didn't understand. "Weirder than the first time. And I still can't sort out what the vision is saying."

Mating with an asari was a novel experience Karin had enjoyed once so the doctor made a noncommittal sound and looked over the readings. Shepard's brain waves were off the charts and her biotic nodes were pulsing wildly. The Commander wasn't wearing a biotic amp. She clicked her tongue. Strange.

"I don't know anything about asari telepathy," Shepard said finally.

"The Joining isn't just telepathy," Karin said, not looking up from the readings. She was concerned about the effect of Shepard's damaged nerve endings in her shoulder. It hadn't been very long since Liara came back exhausted. The Commander shouldn't have been showing signs of exertion now. "She extended her biotics; you extended yours. Your nervous systems synced. For all intents and purposes, the two of you experienced a sexual encounter. I can't imagine that a joining wouldn't be a sexual experience for the asari. Even the one on Feros."

"In front of my crew," Shepard stated with a frown. She scrubbed her good hand over her face, scratched at the jagged scar under her eye. "God, I don't even know her. She could be a Sleeper for all we know."

Karin put a hand on her hip. "I doubt they'll think any less of you. I certainly don't. Besides, you now know more about her than you will ever know anyone else. Not everyone has that luxury. Do you feel any indication she would turn on you?"

Shepard shook her head. "It was just supposed to be a simple exchange for information," she stated after a moment of studying Liara. "Any idea what went wrong? She said it was accidental, but how do you accidentally do that?"

Dr. Chakwas thought about it a moment. "Hm. I've never known an asari to mate with someone subconsciously, and asari aren't known for being secretive with their sexuality. It takes a conscious effort to sync nervous systems. Both partners have to agree; however I have read about rape cases. Usually ends with the death of the partner. Asari call it ardat-yakshi. But I don't think that was the case. She seemed genuinely distraught when she came in. Maybe she was frightened of the images in your mind or your will is stronger than she was expecting and had to push but pushed in the wrong direction. Probably due to lack of experience."

"I've got a lot of ghosts, Doctor. Comes with the job." Shepard puzzled over it a moment. "Wait. 'Lack of experience?' 'Distraught?'" She looked horrified a split second before her game face fell into place, then leaned in and whispered, "I didn't accidentally knock up Dr. T'Soni, did I?"

Dr. Chakwas scanned Liara. "Not yet. If she chooses to use your genetic information she gathered during the process to create an offspring, she can do so when she's ready. I wouldn't recommend it though. She's a bit too young to produce offspring. Her nervous system is fully developed and healthy but there may be complications with the fetus since she doesn't appear to meld regularly."

Shepard looked on with wonder. "She… she'd tell me, right?"

Karin shrugged and scanned Shepard again. Her readings were returning to normal. "No idea. Asari culture is vastly different from our own. I'm told they usually raise their daughters on their own. If their partner is from a short-lived species, they would have to. And if she chooses to to use your genetic information in a hundred years, you'd never know about it."

"Thanks for the reassurance."

"I do try. Now go eat something. Nothing less than a thousand calories. You'll thank me later."

"L2 reparations discussions came to a head this morning when parliamentarians Castalia Cortés Villalpando and Armen Doornbosch exchanged punches after exchanging heated words. Both are being treated for minor abrasions and broken noses. No word on any charges to be filed."

Kaidan massaged his temples in frustration, looking at his omni-tool in disgust.

"Subcommittee Chairman Martin Burns has said discussions will resume tomorrow without them. Tensions have been high since the Subcommittee on Transhuman Studies took their seats at the end of March. They are locked in debate on whether to extend reparations to all biotics who were born before 2161 or to only biotics using the L2 configuration. There is also a matter of the L2 biotics who have received the controversial surgery to upgrade to an L3R configuration. In other news—"

Powering off his omni-tool, Kaidan removed the tool from his wrist and stuffed it in his sea bag. He didn't know what was worse, the extremists or the politicians. He sighed. The shuttle was waiting for him.

It struck him suddenly as he was packing that Shepard had yet to go over with him the information that she had received from Admiral Hackett. After yesterday's fiasco of a debrief, he wondered if it had merely slipped her mind. He checked his sea bag a final time and shut his locker, turning for the elevator.

Putting a hand to his ear, he used the implants under his fingertips to interface with his personal comm unit nestled behind his ear. "Commander?"

"Kaidan." Her voice was warm in his ear.

"Ma'am, the data the Admiral sent," he trailed off.

There was silence on the other end of the comm. Then: "I've reviewed it. It's a long flight, Lieutenant. It'll give us something to go over. There's a lot of it."

"Joker's mother?" Joker was already beside himself with worry. If she'd been in the blast… Well, that wasn't a secret Kaidan was certain he could keep. Not even for the Alliance. The thought didn't sit well with him. The minute he started putting personal feelings before the Alliance was the minute someone got injured, killed even. He liked that thought even less than keeping a secret. Remember the Rules, Alenko.

To Kaidan's relief, Shepard said, "No. Still no info. L2s and BAaT information mostly. I'm not sure if you know it all. I certainly had no idea."

Surprise siphoned the blood from his face, his pace faltering just as he neared the elevator. He put a hand out to steady himself, his heart thumping madly.

Oh, no.

He swallowed, let out a controlled breath as the elevator door slid closed. "Conatix?"

God.

She knew about Vyrnuus, knew what happened to him. What I did to him. He remembered the look in Rahna's eyes. How he felt when she scurried behind the others, afraid. Only days before those eyes had held such promise, such love. Then Kaidan had become the monster she feared, the monster he feared.

Damn it.

Another controlled breath and the memories were replaced with Shepard's smile. It didn't ease the anxiety between his shoulder blades.

"We can discuss it on the transport," she answered. "Joker and Liara are already aboard. I'm heading out. You ready?"

"Aye," he told her. "I'm on the elevator now."

"I'm waiting."

There was no animosity in Shepard's voice, so he took it as a good sign. He wondered how much she knew. He wanted to be the one to tell her about BAaT, about Vyrnuus' death. It was something he felt he should tell her. This wasn't something a cold report could tell with any accuracy.

He leaned against the elevator wall, receiving a shock when his bare elbow touched the metal. He stepped away, stood at parade rest, heart in his throat. When the door slid open, Kaidan's dark eyes met Shepard's odd-colored ones. She took in his set face, his clamped mouth, and the lines of concentration around his brows and under his eyes.

"You look like hell," she said.

He nodded, a cold knot forming in his stomach. "Aye, ma'am. We, uh, we should talk."

One eyebrow rose. "About Conatix?" she asked as they fell in step together. Sea bags slung over their shoulders, they made their way up the ladderwell to CIC.

"About Vyrnuus," he answered as he studied her expression half in anticipation, half in dread.

"Get your knuckles rapped a few times, Lieutenant?"

He swallowed. "Yeah," he told her with a shake of his head. "Yeah. You could say that."

"The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there." The Go-Between by L.P. Hartley

Credit to pookakitten for the 'knocked up' line. Too good to pass up. XD