Chapter 3: Maybe you need to explore other options

It's Tuesday and Brittany is going over to Santana's place later to hang out. She doesn't know if it's the excitement of seeing Santana again or if it's just a general boring day in the diner but for some reason the time seems to be going by so slowly. Five minutes feel like an hour to her and it feels like an age until she finishes and gets to see Santana again.

"Hey Brittany you can go on your break now" one of the other waitresses says to Brittany.

"Oh thank god" Brittany loudly sighs in relief causing her colleague to laugh at her. "You have no idea how slowly today seems to be going Louise" she groans.

"Really, I thought it was actually going rather fast" Louise states.

"Well certainly not for me but anyway, I'll go and get my lunch" Brittany smiles before taking her apron off and going through to the back. She just gets her lunch out of the fridge and unlocks her phone when suddenly it rings with a text.

From Santana: hey, are we still on for tonight? : )

Brittany doesn't waste any time and texts Santana straight back

To Santana: yeah definitely. I'm looking forward to it

From Santana: me too, oh don't eat before you come

To Santana: that's not fair, you can't starve me ; )

From Santana: don't worry I'm not going to. I was going to make us something to eat that's why I don't want you to eat

To Santana: ok cool

From Santana: so how are you? Wait I'm not disturbing you from work am I?

To Santana: I'm doing fine and no I'm on my break so I can talk

From Santana: cool

To Santana: what about you, are you working right now?

From Santana: yeah but it's a slow day so I sneakily brought my phone out. If I suddenly stop texting you then you'll know I've either got a customer to help or my manager has walked in

To Santana: ok lol. Hey since you're cooking tonight, do you want me to bring anything?

From Santana: no don't be silly, I've got it covered

To Santana: are you sure?

From Santana: honestly…shit got to go

Brittany can't help but laugh at how adorable Santana seems to be. She obviously couldn't see or hear her when she sent the last text but she could just imagine how she was in that moment when she had to rush off.

XXX

Finally it's 6pm and Brittany is finishing work. The second part of her shift, after her break, didn't seem to go any quicker than the first part of her shift. She felt like she was counting down the seconds and it didn't help that the till in front of her displayed the time so she was constantly reminded of the time.

As soon as Brittany leaves the diner, she rushes home to get changed and freshen up a bit. By the time she's ready it is almost 7 so she leaves straight away. She knew Santana said not to bring anything but she thought the least she could do is bring some cupcakes since she makes them anyway so as soon as she arrives she heads inside the apartment complex, cupcakes in hand.

"Hey, in you come" Santana smiles while opening the door.

"Thank you" Brittany smiles back. "These are for you by the way" she says handing over the box of cupcakes.

"Britt I told you not to bring anything but thank you" she smiles.

"I know but I felt I should at least give you something if you're cooking for me" Brittany replies.

"Wait there's 8 cakes here…Brittany are you trying to fatten me up?" Santana teases.

"Of course not but I figured you could share them with your friends and your roommate or even take one to your gran" Brittany shrugs.

"I might just do that, thank you very much" Santana says giving Brittany a quick hug. "My gran does actually have quite a sweet tooth so I'm sure she'll enjoy one of these."

"Well if she does like them then just let me know and I can make her some more" Brittany smiles.

"Ok" Santana smiles back. "Right I better go and check on dinner but can I get you something to drink?"

"I'll come with you and get it. I don't want to leave you doing all the cooking, it's not fair" Brittany replies.

"Honestly I don't mind" Santana states.

"No sorry, I meant it's not fair on me because if you do it all then you might burn it and that's not great considering I am so hungry right now" Brittany teases.

"Oh is that so" Santana smirks while playfully hitting Brittany's arm.

"Seriously though, I'd be bored sitting myself so I might as well help you" Brittany says.

"Ok that's cool then" Santana replies and they both make their way to the kitchen.

"So what is it that we're actually eating tonight?" Brittany asks.

"Lasagne, is that ok?" Santana asks.

"Is it vegetarian lasagne?" Brittany replies.

"No, sorry" Santana replies worriedly.

"I can't eat it then because I'm a vegetarian, sorry" Brittany replies seriously.

"Really?" Santana quirks an eyebrow.

"Honestly honey" Brittany nods.

"Ok if you're a vegetarian then why were you eating a chicken salad sandwich at lunch yesterday and don't even deny it because we were texting again last night and you mentioned that" Santana states.

"Sorry my phrasing was wrong, I am a vegetarian who can eat chicken or white meat I should say" Brittany smiles.

"Brittany stop messing around" Santana laughs.

"I'm not messing, honestly" Brittany smiles sweetly.

"Ok fine, you'll just need to eat the salad and bread then because I'm not making anything else" Santana replies.

"That's cool" Brittany says.

XXX

"So where do you normally spend Christmas?" Santana asks as she begins cutting some bread while Brittany puts together the salad.

"Usually my house and the whole family comes over. I mean when I was younger we'd all go to my grandparent's house and my other grandparents would come as well since my mom was an only child but ever since my gran died then it's easier to have it at mine" Brittany replies. "My grandparents were kind of old fashioned in the way that she did all the cooking and he went out and worked so 1) it's not fair to expect him to cook for everyone and 2) he wouldn't know where to start anyway."

"I understand that" Santana nods.

"I've only got my two grandpas left now anyway and my dad's sister comes over with her children as well so it's quite nice having it at my house. I mean we all pitch in and do the cooking so it's fair" Brittany smiles.

"I'm guessing you like to take care of the dessert though" Santana says.

"Yeah that is true. Thankfully everyone likes my desserts because I probably wouldn't want anyone else doing it anyway" Brittany smiles.

"So what do you actually have at Christmas then, I mean do you have turkey just at Thanksgiving or do you have it at Christmas too?" Santana asks.

"My mom usually likes to at least serve it at both but not all of us eat turkey at both. I mean she sometimes will serve roast beef as well so if we don't want turkey again then we can have roast beef or sometimes ham actually" Brittany replies.

"What do you prefer?" Santana asks.

"Well Christmas is only once a year so I like to go all out at Christmas dinner and basically have a little bit of everything" Brittany smiles.

"So turkey and roast beef?" Santana asks.

"Yeah pretty much" Brittany replies.

"Ah-hah!" Santana screams, a little too loudly perhaps.

"What?" Brittany asks confused but nevertheless laughing at how cute Santana's scream was.

"You just admitted it, oh my god" Santana laughs uncontrollably.

"Admitted what?" Brittany smiles, wishing she could be where Santana's at right now.

"You just admitted you eat roast beef aka red meat" Santana says continuing to laugh.

"Shit" Brittany gasps while covering her mouth with her hand.

"Not so smart now are you?" Santana smirks.

"Wait is that why you starting asking me about Christmas dinner, because you wanted to catch me out?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah pretty much. I mean don't get me wrong, I was interested in what you were saying but it did start off as a ploy to see if you'd slip up and you most certainly did" Santana smirks again.

"I am hurt Santana" Brittany says feigning hurt.

"Oh don't be silly" Santana waves it off.

"Yeah I'm not that hurt" Brittany shrugs.

"Can I just say how cute it is every time you try and joke with me and it just backfires? I mean that right there reminded me of when you said you swiped a 20 from me when I never even had a 20 on me" Santana smiles.

"Ok no need to make a fool of me" Brittany replies pretending to be annoyed.

"I'm not but can you please just say for clarification that you do eat meat?" Santana asks.

"Yes I can so no I'm not a vegetarian and yes I like all kinds of meat" Brittany replies.

"Except in the male variety since you know, you're gay" Santana quips.

"Oh do we have a little dirty joker in our midst?" Brittany smirks.

"I am known to make a dirty joke or two, yes" Santana smiles. "Anyway I should get back to dinner" she says and Brittany nods.

As soon as dinner is ready, they plate up the food and sit in the living room together eating.

"I'm sorry we're eating in front of the TV but I don't own a kitchen table nor do I have room for one" Santana smiles.

"That's ok, when I was in college that's all I did because I was so busy all the time that I had to basically sit in my room doing my coursework while I ate" Brittany replies. "I mean my mom offered to cook and I could eat with the rest of the family but it was just quicker to throw something in the microwave and eat in front of my laptop."

"Yeah I hear you. I was basically like that too" Santana nods. "I mean I stayed with my parents and just travelled to college every day but then I became friends with Claire and she needed a roommate to take some pressure off the rent so I just moved in here about a year ago."

"I mean my whole life is here and I got accepted to a college reasonably close so there wasn't really any point in getting my own place" Brittany says.

"Yeah same here" Santana agrees.

"To be fair if I didn't want to start up my own business and just needed money to get by then I probably would have got my own place by now because I could afford it" Brittany says. "But because I not only need to keep myself and get a place but I also need buy a place for my business too."

"Brittany you don't need to explain to me why you still live at home because I totally get it. I don't judge you, I actually admire you because you're so mature about things" Santana smiles.

"It just gets embarrassing sometimes that I have a degree and a full time job but yet I'm still living with my parents and all my friends have their own place" Brittany sighs.

"Trust me, loads of people still live at home. It's nothing to be ashamed about" Santana reassures her.

"Ok" Brittany nods. "Hey let's talk about something else, something a bit happier" she smiles.

"Well I know something else to talk about but I can't say it's going to be happier" Santana states.

"What is it?" Brittany asks.

"Well I actually have another date on Friday. It's someone my friend Quinn knows and he has a degree and is a lawyer so I'm hoping this guy might be more my type than the rest. I mean he sounds smart so I'll be able to have an intelligent conversation with him so I'm hoping he's not a jerk like the rest" Santana replies.

"That's good then, it sounds promising" Brittany smiles.

"Yeah. I mean I'm not saying you need to have a degree to be intelligent but sometimes if the person is on your wavelength intelligence wise then you have more to talk about" Santana says.

"I agree" Brittany nods. "Actually it doesn't even need to be intelligence, just maybe having the same kind of life skills as you. I mean we get each other not only because we have college degrees but because we're both struggling at the minute but are still holding onto our dreams."

"That is true" Santana smiles.

It's been over a week now since Brittany and Santana first met and they've spoke to each other every day since whether that's by text or meeting up to hang out. They're currently having lunch together at a café nearby where they both stay.

"How was last night's date then?" Brittany asks.

"Take a guess" Santana states.

"Not great judging by your tone" Brittany replies.

"Each date I go on is worse than the last. It's like I really can't win anymore and it's driving me insane" Santana sighs.

"What was wrong with Jason then?" Brittany asks.

"Well first off his name was James so I spent the first half an hour calling him Jason. I swear on my life Quinn told me he was called Jason" Santana shakes her head. "I mean don't get me wrong, he told me politely the first time his name was James not Jason but somehow the name Jason was just stuck in my mind so I kept saying it and I could see he was getting more and more frustrated."

"Oh dear" Brittany says feeling bad for Santana.

"Then not only did I spill water over him but I managed to inappropriately touch him in the process" Santana says.

"What like…you know?" Brittany asks hesitantly.

"Yeah as soon as I knocked the jug over, for some reason I just grabbed my napkin and started wiping his pants. God Brittany I don't know what came over me, as soon as I realised I was basically copping a feel of him more than helping I was mortified" Santana says, her face turning red with embarrassment at the thought of last night.

"Oh honey" Brittany says struggling not to laugh. She doesn't mean to but it's like a scene out of a movie or something.

"I did apologise profusely all night but the embarrassment didn't end there. I ended up groping his ass too" Santana states.

"Wow you don't waste any time on a first date" Brittany teases.

"I didn't mean to, he was going for a quick peck on the cheek as we were both leaving but as he leant in, I stumbled in those stupid new heels of mine and felt myself falling so I reached out to grab what I thought was his hand so I didn't go down" Santana says mortified.

"Honey you better check your mail when you get home, I'd hate for there to be a sexual harassment notice sent to you in the post" Brittany teases.

"Can they send those by post?" Santana frowns.

"Jeez I don't know, I was joking" Brittany laughs.

"Right yeah" Santana says worriedly.

"Honestly Santana I am joking. He's not going to do that because it was hardly that bad what happened. Embarrassing yes; a crime no" Brittany reassures her.

"Well regardless anyway, I doubt I'll be seeing him again" Santana sighs.

XXX

After lunch, they went back to Santana's place for a while where Brittany promised to help Santana write her Christmas cards which she hates doing. Santana would write the card and then Brittany had to address the envelope.

"Can I just say something about this whole dating thing of yours?" Brittany asks.

"Sure" Santana nods while looking up from the card she was just writing.

"I was just thinking, maybe you aren't exploring all channels" Brittany states.

"I don't understand" Santana frowns in confusion.

"Maybe dating all these guys and it not working out is the universe's way of telling you something" Brittany shrugs.

"I'm still lost Britt" Santana sighs.

"Have you ever been attracted to a girl before?" Brittany asks.

"I haven't really thought about it, why?" Santana shrugs, "…Oh no" she shakes her head when she realises what Brittany meant.

"You might not be giving yourself a proper chance if you're only limiting yourself to guys" Brittany replies.

"Look I'm not opposed to lesbians, I just have never looked at a girl like that before" Santana states. "Plus I want my gran to see me get married not have a heart attack on my wedding day."

"Does she not agree with being gay?" Brittany asks.

"I don't really know if I'm honest but what I do know is that she's super traditional and old fashioned so I'd rather not run the risk" Santana replies.

"You could be shooting yourself in the foot then because you never know, you might find happiness with a girl" Brittany shrugs.

"No I don't think so Britt. I mean like I say there wouldn't be anything wrong with that but I really doubt I'm gay" Santana replies.

"I'm not saying you're gay, I'm just saying maybe you might find a girl that you fall in love with. Look I know I say I'm gay but to be honest no one needs to label themselves. You are who you are and you like who you like" Brittany says.

"I suppose" Santana says pondering the thought.

"Look why don't we go out tonight, I'll take you to a bar that I know and you can see if possibly you could be attracted to a girl" Brittany says. She doesn't mind going out just this once and spending some money if it's going to help Santana.

"That sounds a little scary Britt, I don't know about that" Santana says nervously.

"Look I'm not saying I want you to meet someone there. I'm just saying it might let you see that you could possibly be attracted to a woman. I mean if we get there and it's really making you uncomfortable then we'll leave" Brittany says. "Trust me if I thought you could hook up with someone there then I'd have met someone there myself by now."

"I might regret this but what the hell. Take me to this bar" Santana laughs nervously.

"Honestly though, if you don't like it we'll leave" Brittany smiles.

"Deal" Santana smiles back.

"Ok so do you want to change or are you cool like that?" Brittany asks.

"No I think I'll change" Santana replies.

"Cool" Brittany nods. "So once you're done, can we swing by my house to drop off my car and let me change then we can take a cab to the bar because I assume we'll be drinking."

"Definitely I'll be drinking, I need something to calm my nerves" Santana jokes.

As soon as Santana is ready they go back to Brittany's house and she changes. They then quickly get a cab and head to the bar. Santana was getting really quite nervous so Brittany agreed that for the first while all they did was sit and have a few drinks. They don't even need to interact with anyone else except the bartender.

"So are your nerves settling yet?" Brittany smiles.

"A little bit but please just don't ever leave me" Santana replies.

"That's not going to happen, I promise" Brittany replies while giving Santana a side hug.

"Good" Santana smiles and leans into Brittany slightly. They sit in silence for a few more minutes just sipping their drinks.

"So there are some hot chicks in here right?" Brittany smiles as she looks around.

"I mean sure the ladies are all good looking but I'm not feeling anything right now apart from nerves" Santana admits.

"I'm not saying you'll feel like you want to sleep with them right away but if you can at least acknowledge they're hot then you're being more open about things."

"Like I say I'm not against this whatsoever, I've just never thought about a woman in another way before" Santana states.

"That's ok and if you still don't after a while then we'll just leave" Brittany smiles.

"Ok" Santana nods.

They're just sitting with their drinks looking around occasionally when a girl approaches Brittany.

"Hey" the girl smiles.

"Uh…hi" Brittany replies hesitantly.

"My friend and I over there happened to notice you two but we weren't sure if you were together or not" the girl smiles again.

"Oh right well we are" Brittany smiles back.

"Oh…ok. Sorry to bother you" the girl apologises and walks away again.

"Um…what was that" Santana laughs while slapping Brittany on the arm.

"What?" Brittany shrugs.

"You totally knocked back that girl and she clearly liked you" Santana states.

"I know but tonight is about you and to be honest I wasn't really feeling like chatting anyone up" Brittany replies.

"But you're single Brittany and you said before you'd like to meet someone" Santana says. She doesn't understand why Brittany wouldn't want to talk to a girl when she was clearly into her.

"Look don't worry about me, tonight is about you" Brittany smiles. It really doesn't bother her right now that she said no to the girl.

XXX

Santana is making her way over to Brittany coming back from the bathroom. A few of the women have tried to talk to her but she's really not feeling very comfortable anymore especially without Brittany.

"Hey did you find the bathroom ok?" Brittany smiles.

"Yeah" Santana nods.

"Are you ok?" Brittany asks concerned.

"I'm sorry Brittany, this really isn't my scene. I think I'm going to go home now" Santana says. There's no denying they're all really nice and they're hot but it feels too much for Santana. She's never been around girls like this before.

"Ok I'll come with you" Brittany says getting off her seat.

"No you stay because you've been getting a lot of attention tonight so maybe you'll find someone" Santana smiles.

"You're not going home alone Santana, I'm coming with you" Brittany says with finality. She brought Santana here so she's not making her leave alone.

"I'm a big girl Britt" Santana smiles.

"I know you are but I'd be a pretty shitty friend to make you come here and then make you leave yourself" Brittany says.

"Britt you didn't make me come, I agreed. I'm just not feeling it tonight but I don't regret coming, honestly" Santana smiles.

"Ok but I'm still going home with you" Brittany replies.

"Ok, fine" Santana shrugs. "Just don't blame me in the morning when you regret coming with me and not coming with someone else" she winks.

"Oh ha, ha" Brittany smiles while nudging Santana's arm. They then leave and luckily there's a cab outside so they get into it.

"Since I cut this night short, do you want to come back to mine. It's a bit early to call it a night don't you think?" Santana asks.

"Yeah I'll come back to yours" Brittany smiles. Santana then tells the driver the address and they set off. As soon as they get to Santana's place she pours them some wine and they relax in the living room.

"It looks like Claire has been and gone already" Santana says while picking up a note that was left on the table. "Staying at Martin's again, don't wait up, x" she says reading the note aloud.

"All the more wine for us then" Brittany smiles.

"That's right" Santana smiles back. "So…tonight was slightly eventful" she says after a pause.

"Look I promise I wasn't trying to force you into this, I just wanted to show you that men aren't the be all and end all" Brittany states.

"I know. I mean some of them really were smoking hot but it all got too much for me too soon. I mean I know it was only supposed to be so I could see if I was attracted to girls but my head just ran away with itself. I kept overthinking stuff and thinking way too far ahead. I mean no offence but I wouldn't know what to do with a girl if I even was interested" Santana admits embarrassingly.

"It's actually easier because girls like what girls like, you know" Brittany smiles. "We women know how women want to be treated so it's basically as simple as what you like other women probably like."

"I suppose a good portion of what you like is kind of mental too. Like if you're just not into someone enough then I guess it wouldn't feel as good obviously. I suppose if I did like another women then it's probably going to be instinctive because the mental side would be there too if you know what I mean" Santana says.

"Yeah I understand" Brittany smiles. "If you're into someone then it'll just come, no pun intended, but if you're not then you're not going to know what you want to do."

"Yeah exactly" Santana agrees.

"Could you possibly see yourself attracted to women?" Brittany asks.

"I mean I think I could. I think my mind was just running away but if you just asked me in general about a woman and I did think she was hot then I'd say that" Santana shrugs.

"Cool" Brittany nods.

"I think if I were a lesbian or at least into a girl I'd like one just like you to date" Santana smiles.

"How much wine did you have?" Brittany asks looking at the bottle.

"Come on Britt, I'm being serious" Santana smiles. "You're kind, caring, funny, smart and not to mention sexy."

"Which all of your friends probably are just like that" Brittany states.

"I know we are friends and you did all the things you did for me because of that but that doesn't mean I can't admire you or appreciate you as someone other than my friend" Santana says.

"So from a friend point of view you think I'm hot?" Brittany asks.

"Yes but because I also know you now then I probably would like to date someone like yourself if I were to happen to date a girl" Santana smiles.

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?" Brittany asks, "I mean like at all, like at a party or for a dare or something?"

"I actually haven't, why are you going to show me how it's done?" Santana winks.

"No-no, I was just asking" Brittany smiles.

"While we're on the subject, if I were into girls would you be into me?" Santana asks.

"Oh…um…I mean we're friends so" Brittany is starting to get embarrassed now.

"That doesn't matter, I just told you I could be into you so you can admit it to me" Santana smiles.

"Santana…"

"Come on, we're friends so I'd like us to be honest" Santana says seriously.

"Ok, yes. You definitely would be someone I would go for" Brittany replies.

"Ok" Santana smiles.

"That's it, you're not going to tease me?" Brittany asks confused.

"I'm not going to make fun of you because it's not a joke to you. You are a girl who likes other girls which I respect so I'm being serious about it. I mean I have tons of guy friends that I could be into and they could be into me but we're not together and wouldn't act on it. I mean we don't see each other that way but if we did then I would be into someone like them if you get me" Santana replies.

"I do" Brittany smiles sadly. On the one hand she's happy she gets on so well with Santana and they understand each other but on the other hand, it just proves she's never actually going to get Santana.

"I'm being serious here but I want to ask something" Santana starts and Brittany nods. "What is it like kissing a girl?"

"I would say it's like kissing anyone but if you really mean kissing then it's slightly different. I mean girls don't have facial hair for starters…well they might but they tend to maintain it" Brittany jokes. "To be honest it's kinda hard for me to explain but obviously to me it feels nicer."

"Ok" Santana nods.

"Maybe you should kiss a girl and find out what it's like" Brittany replies.

"What someone like you?" Santana says, a slight smirk appearing on her face.

"Well…"

"Blame it on the wine if you want but I feel like I want to kiss you right now" Santana admits shyly.

"Just to see what it feels like?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah I guess" Santana nods. "So can I?"

"Yeah" Brittany says before she can even register it. Her lips betray her head because she thinks this probably isn't the best thing to do.

"Ok, so…" Santana puts her glass down on the table and turns towards Brittany. Brittany does the same so they're both sitting facing one another. Santana then moves in closer and they both lean in and kiss gently on the lips.

"You lips are so soft" Brittany smiles.

"So are yours actually" Santana smiles back.

They both look at each other for a second before leaning in again and kissing. The kiss begins to heat up and before they know it, their hands begin wandering. They were right earlier, it is instinctive when you're into someone.

"Wait…" Brittany says shaking her head.

"What's wrong?" Santana asks concerned.

"I can't do this Santana. I'm done with girls who experiment, it was basically my life in freshmen year so I don't want to go back to that" Brittany admits honestly.

"You're right. I'm sorry" Santana says embarrassed. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you or disrespect you."

"It's ok and I will help you, just not like this" Brittany smiles.

"Ok" Santana smiles back.

XXX

"Do you know what, fuck it" Brittany states. "It's been a long time since a girl wanted me like you did and clearly you need a little relief too."

"Wait, do you actually want to…"

Brittany doesn't let Santana finish, instead she leans in and kisses her passionately.